Daughter of Fire
by JulietteDeschemps
Summary: Sakura got up and didn't bother brushing the dirt from her dress. She had a feeling she was about to get even dirtier. She looked at the memorial stone one last time and memorised the characters. It would serve from that moment on as a reminder of her determination. She wouldn't let Naruto and Sasuke join the names carved on that stone. That was her nindo. Sakura-centric fix-it.
1. Inhale, Exhale Then Move On

Sakura took a deep breath. The smell of Land of Fire native trees and wet grass assaulted her senses and the familiarity of it calmed the wild rush of her head. It didn't take long for the utter despair of the situation to come back to her, the full force of it crashing against her chest and taking her breath away in the worst possible way.

It had been a relatively normal day.

Her mom had asked her to go grocery shopping after breakfast and her feet made the unconscious decision to go by the training grounds out of habit. Before she knew it, the memorial stone was reflecting the sun in her eyes and she couldn't breathe.

She fell to her knees in the middle of training ground 3 and trid to get air back in her lungs but ended up choking on it instead. She didn't know when it happened, but suddenly her hands were on the soft soil beneath her and her back was hunched, her body shaking so much that she couldn't tell how she didn't just fall apart from it.

She didn't get how her joints were still attached, how she didn't just turn into a pile of limbs right there on the cool floor.

For the first time in her life, she was upset but didn't cry.

She was lying, though, because her whole world had turned upside down and left her without a place to stand, she had passed _upset_ about three corners back but, still, she couldn't cry. She could, it seemed, dry heave against the grass and choke on her spit.

She was alone.

She was completely, utterly alone. Team Seven would never be again. Naruto had left to study under a Sannin, Sasuke had left Konoha—Sasuke had _defected_ Konoha for the traitor Sannin and oh, _shit_ did that make him a missing nin? Would she have to go after him and face him like an enemy—and Team Seven was over.

Kakashi-sensei—no. She couldn't call him that anymore.

Sakura wasn't stupid. She knew now that he'd been placed in charge of her team because of the boys, so that he could mold them to his fighting style and so that Konoha could have the perfect attack team. Now that it was only her left, it made no sense to stay a team. She wasn't a melee fighter, she didn't have good chakra reserves for flashy ninjutsu.

She wasn't good at _anything_.

All the talking she did at the Chunin Exams of being a real ninja, of not being left behind anymore. Hacking her hair off to prove a point. The big revelation she had and absolutely nothing to show for it.

Nothing changed. She was still the one being left behind.

Unbidden, her mind started its usual runthrough of why, where, how it usually did when she was trying to figure something out.

The last few weeks flashed through her mind's eye. She had barely done any training. Kakashi—Hatake-san, she supposed he was from now on. He'd always used a peculiar method of pushing D-Ranks on top of them to teach. She could see why he did that now. He'd been since the beginning trying to desperately make a team out of them. Trying to ingrain the teamwork into their habits so that maybe, maybe it would be enough to make Sasuke stay.

Sakura could see now that he had been absolutely, completely unequipped to handle them. It wasn't his fault, she knew logically, but bitter resentment still settled like a knot on the back of her throat.

It was the same resentment that she felt towards herself, in a way. She had done everything for Sasuke-kun. She had tried again and again to make him like her and when that turned out to be almost impossible, she tried even harder just to make him happy.

Sakura felt the image she had in her head, the one with the carefree young boy smiling at his nii-san, break into a thousand pieces. For years she thought she could bring that boy back, she thought she could be the reason he smiled like that again, but now she knew better.

It was silly to think she could ever be enough to make him stay. If Kakashi-sensei hadn't been able to, if _Naruto_ hadn't been able to, she stood no chance against the darkness inside of him.

Thinking of Naruto made a chill go down her spine, another wave of nausea hitting her fast because _fuck_—and she had never uttered that word before, not even thought it to herself, but she felt it was justified because _they had almost killed each other._

They had almost killed her too but that seemed a bit inconsequential. She would have been just collateral damage in that fight but those two? They were purposefully aiming deadly jutsu at each other, all because of a feud no one had noticed was getting out of control.

It was weird, thinking badly of Sasuke-kun, but she couldn't help how analytically her mind was going through the past six months of her life.

Sasuke was _jealous_.

He was jealous and he was insecure and he was so freaking entitled. He was angry at Naruto—no matter that Naruto was the closest thing he had to a brother now—because he thought that he was the one who was supposed to be the strongest. Because he had a mission in life to get revenge on his nii-san and he was _wrong_.

Her heart bled for the childhood he lost and for the horrible things he had to see but he was still wrong and she could finally admit it.

Unexpectedly, knowing this and admitting it to herself took a weight out of her shoulders. She thought for a very long time that Sasuke could do no wrong. That he would avenge—and only now she stopped to think that it meant killing, actually murdering his own brother—and that he would come back happy and eager to start a family with her. She'd thought that it was her role to be there for him and only now, after she had been left completely alone could she see how wrong it all was.

Another wave of nausea forced her forehead to the ground. She knew what happened to ninja whose team disbanded. They would sometimes be carted around to fill in any spot if they were good enough but, for the most part, ninja who didn't have a squad, especially gennin or those who didn't have a clan backing them up, would become paper ninja. Lost in the archives or, if they were lucky enough, the mission assignment desk.

She didn't want that. She wanted to stand side by side with the Rookie 9, she wanted to be strong, she wanted to _protect_.

Sakura took a few deep breaths, her lungs finally filling properly, before she leaned back and crossed her legs beneath her. The memorial stone was still reflecting sunlight but this time she let her eyes trace the characters on the stone and she _thought_.

Sakura thought and she planned and she analysed because contrary to what despair had led her to think she was good at something. She had been the first of her class in written exams, she had known all the questions on the first task of the Chunin Exams, she was _smart_.

She couldn't sit and wallow. Crying and whining had contributed absolutely nothing in keeping the boys safe. It was a good thing that the tears hadn't come to her in her little breakdown because she had to get used to it.

From now on, she wouldn't cry anymore.

A flash of green crossed her thoughts and she remembered Lee. She remembered his stupid bets against himself and how he couldn't use chakra and it was like she was hit by an epiphany. Lee was _strong. _Lee was stronger and faster than anyone she'd ever seen that wasn't a Jounin.

Granted, he was no match for Gaara at the end but he still managed to crack his armour and hold his own for quite some time considering Gaara had a monster inside him.

Lee did it all by training.

It wasn't the kind of training that Sakura usually did with Team Seven where they spared or practiced kunai throwing until they were tired and went their separate ways. It was the kind of training that the only excuse for stopping was when you collapsed or passed out.

Sakura tried hard to think back on one afternoon that she left as sweaty and exhausted as the boys and couldn't. Whenever she started getting tired, she would stop, lay down on her sensei's back and watch the world go up and down with each push up he did.

There would be no more sensei for her to laze about with, no more bickering between Naruto and Sasuke-kun to distract her from training. Sakura was alone now and she had to up her game _immediately_ if she planned on standing side by side with the boys.

She had to focus on her strengths, she decided.

Sakura knew she wasn't exactly proficient in taijutsu like Sasuke-kun was but she had held her own against Ino, right? And Ino was the top kunoichi of their class, she had trained for years with her clan, that had to mean something. It was likely that she had some kind of predisposition for hand to hand combat if her instincts had guided her so well in that fight.

She had excellent chakra control, if Hatake-san was to be believed. She had managed to master the tree climbing exercise her first try while the boys struggled the whole night for it. She was _good_ at that.

An effervescent kind of energy sizzled through her veins. It was the same feeling she got when she was reading a book and there was just a few chapters left that she had to finish before dawn, it was determination settling in her bones and she knew she wouldn't give up easily.

Naruto will be gone from the village for some time, years if she had to guess and Sakura will use that time to become the best version of her she could be. She _had_ to do it.

She will stand next to Naruto as equals when he came back and they both will get Sasuke and bring him back to Konoha by force if necessary.

Sakura got up and didn't bother brushing the dirt from her dress. She had a feeling she was about to get even dirtier.

She looked at the memorial stone one last time, memorizing the characters without even realizing she was doing it. It will serve from that moment on as a reminder of her determination. She wouldn't let Naruto and Sasuke join the names carved on the stone.

That was her nindo.

Her first stop was the hospital. She knew Lee was being kept there for observation after he overexerted himself during the rescue mission and she needed his help.

Sakura didn't know any jounin that had the time to help her with a new taijutsu training regimen, didn't see much of any jounin at the village, to be honest. They were all in high demand nowadays, Konoha had to show to the other villages that they were still strong.

It was all a farce, she knew. Konoha was barely making ends meet with all the reconstruction going on. It was a miracle that Tsunade-hime had accepted the post. Konoha was in shambles and in desperate need of money, it was a tough time to take on the mantle.

By the time Sakura got to Konoha's General, the sun was already high up in the sky and the streets were buzzing with people. The sounds of construction were all around her and the loud hammering was giving her a headache.

She had just reached the entrance when Lee bustled out of the double doors, thumb up in the air and teeth glinting in a way that made Sakura check herself for any genjutsu.

"Yosh! It's a beautiful day to go back to training!" He shouted to the skys.

"Lee!" A girl with twin dark buns on top of her head came up behind him and put him on a chokehold. Sakura remembered her to be his teammate. "Tsunade-sama said you shouldn't go doing anything strenuous for the next month!"

Sakura was pretty sure the way she was choking him was considered strenuous but decided against pointing it out. Instead, she stepped forward and made her presence known.

"Ano, Lee-san?" She put on her best friendly smile and let Inner scoff at their antics at the back of her mind.

"Sakura-san!" Lee finally got himself of the girl's hold and beamed at her. "This morning just got twice as beautiful!"

"Eh, sure?" Sakura cringed at her own response but couldn't think of anything better to say. "I need to ask you something."

"Anything for the most beautiful flower in the village!" Lee grinned encouragingly at her and Sakura could swear there was a rainbow behind him for a moment.

"I wanted to know if you had any tips for how to enhance my taijutsu skills," Sakura fiddled awkwardly with her hands for a moment. "I don't have the best chakra reserves and, well, I really admired the way you overcome your own… difficulties."

Sakura forced herself to meet his eyes and was taken aback by the tears she saw there.

"Ah, Lee-san, I didn't mean to offend you!" She waved her hands in front of her a bit desperately. "Gomen!"

"You could never offend me, beautiful Sakura-san!" The older boy stepped forward and grabbed her hands, tears streaming down his face. "I am most honored that Sakura-san thinks so highly of me! This is truly the best of days! From now on, I will make it my mission to help you achieve mastery of the taijutsu arts! Come with me now! We will begin training immediately!"

And then he was running back the way she came. Sakura stood there, completely dumbstruck before her body finally caught up and she forced herself to move after him.

"Chotto matte! Lee-san!"

Sakura heard footsteps behind her before the girl upped her pace to run besides her.

"The beautiful Sakura-san, huh?" She sent her an appraising look. "I'm Tenten. Nice to meet you officially."

"Just Sakura is fine," Sakura laughed embarrassed. "Yoroshiku."

"Heard you managed to tie with the best kunoichi in your year during the exams. I wish I hadn't been in the hospital for that fight. It's always refreshing seeing an all girls fight, you know?"

Sakura supposed she could see where the girl was coming from. Kunoichi ratio in the academy was about pretty much the same as boys but very few of them graduated and even fewer made it past genin. It _was _good to see strong females fighting. Having one of those for Hokage was a huge thing.

"It was a pity that you and that girl from Suna weren't a good match," Sakura offered. "It was clear that you have a lot of skill."

Tenten grinned at her and shot her two thumbs up, reminding Sakura so much of Lee that she had to laugh.

By the time they reached training ground 12, Lee was already doing some one-armed pushups.

"Sakura-san!" He jumped to his feet. "Let's spar!"

And then a fist was coming straight to her face.

Sakura didn't have any time to do anything but dodge and that's what she did. She dropped low and let his arm sail past her as a squeak escaped her lips. In the next second, however, Lee brought his leg up and kicked her faster than she could blink. She skidded along the forest floor, her ribs already aching.

For a while they kept at it, Lee moving faster than she could comprehend and Sakura falling back on her basic Academy katas to either block or dodge. She managed to get a few punches in but it was almost humiliating how easily he countered them, as if she wasn't giving her all.

"Yosh!" Lee stopped suddenly and bowed the reconciliation sign and she readily retributed before promptly falling to the ground in exhaustion. "Your basics are strong as expected, Sakura-san!"

Sakura managed to grumble a reply from the heap she made on the ground but he didn't seem put off by her surliness.

"You lack any originality in your attacks, your speed and stamina are both those expected of Academy students and you should definitely improve your strength," he said this all with a beam on his face.

Sakura gaped at him, not really expecting him to be so blunt in his criticism and Tenten burst out laughing from her position beneath the shade of a tree. Sakura felt her cheeks burn and Inner let out a string of expletives in the back of her mind.

"Don't worry, Sakura-san! If you work hard like I know you will, I can guarantee that in in a month, you'll be in a place where you can easily beat Ino-san!"

It was odd. Hearing someone express such belief in her was so new and it felt so… _good_ that for a moment Sakura could only look at his blindingly green form with wide eyes. It wasn't too long before the biggest smile she could remember giving someone stretched her lips.

She would do this. She would work hard at whatever he taught her and she wouldn't complain once. Lee _believed_ in her.

"I will not disappoint you, Lee-san!"

Lee and Tenten were both looking at her with matching pinks on their cheeks but Sakura didn't have any time to ponder at that because Lee quickly composed himself and gave her a thumbs up.

"Yosh! The Youth shines bright with you, Sakura-san!" His teeth sparkled. "Every morning for the first week, you will run twenty laps around this training ground. After that, you will do a hundred sit-ups, fifty push-ups, a hundred-and-fifty squats and two minutes of planking!"

Lee kept on exclaiming her training regimen for a while and it was all Sakura could do not to let her mouth gape open. That was _a lot. _But if Lee thought she could do it, then she was going to prove him right.

By the time she did all the training with Lee doing at least four times as much of every exercise she did, she was exhausted. Ready-to-collapse tired and it was _glorious_. She felt so accomplished, she could barely contain herself.

Tenten had stopped her own weapons practice some time ago to go get them some food and the three of them sat around the little containers beneath the shade of a tree on the edge of the training grounds. Sakura was hungrier than she'd even been and not a single thought was given to her diet.

Who cared about carbs, anyway. She was _starving_.

They didn't talk for a while, simply enjoying their food in contented silence. Lee kept cutting leaves in half whenever one fell, Tenten swirled a short sword around with one hand and Sakura just kept wolfing everything down without even taking a breath.

"Is that a tantou?" She cocked her head at Tenten.

"Yep," the girl smiled at her and gave the sword hilt first for Sakura to give a try. "I can teach you how to use it if you want."

"Really?" Sakura stared wide-eyed at the girl as a sudden wave of gratitude washed through her. Who'd have thought that Team Guy was so helpful?

"Yeah, sure! You are taking the next Chunin Exams, right? We could train together until then!"

"Thank you, Tenten," Sakura smiled at her. "I don't know how I can repay you."

"No need." Tenten waved her hand around, dismissing the idea. "The guys can be a bit too much at times. It'll be nice to train with you."

Sakura went home that night completely exhausted. The sweat was still drying on her skin even as the sky had turned dark blue hours ago and her legs were shaking so bad she had no idea how she managed to walk to the civilian district.

She was on her threshold when she remembered her kaa-san had asked her to buy the groceries.

"Crap."

* * *

_Hi, everyone! _

_These first few chapters were initially posted without these A/N because I suck but I needed to make some things clear! First of all, thank you all for reading and if you guys could leave a review and tell me what you think, I'll be eternally grateful! Second, this fic is going to deal with difficult and delicate themes such as violence, gore, mental health issues (PTSD, paranoia, etc) and borderline underage. I say borderline because, like Sakura says in later chapters, she's already considered an adult even if she is still young. Anything explicit will only happen when she's a bit older, though, so not to worry. Third, I'd just like for you guys to keep in mind that although Naruto is supposed to be a kind of children show, the fact remains that they are child soldiers. This fic is about that innocence lost at such young ages. That being said, no matter how dark this fic may get in the future, it will have a happy ending._

_This story is also posted on AO3 and is currently much more advanced there but I'll post some new chapters here very soon. However, when this story reaches a certain point in which sexual contents will be explicit, I'll only post there because I'm scared FFN will delete me if I post it here. Also, there are some rants and insights over there on the first four chapters that won't make an appearance here, so if you'd like to read some of my metas, they'll be there._

Hit me up on tumblr (I'm s-scorpiusmlfy over there) if you'd like :)

Thank you all for reading!


	2. Whatever it Takes

It was exactly three weeks and four days later that Sakura received a summons from the Hokage, first thing in the morning, in the form of a chunin messenger right outside her door.

She had set up a nice little routine for herself so far and this was the first break in the norm for her. In the mornings, right as the first rays of sunlight hit her face, she would get up and go to training ground 3 to do her first set of exercises. She stayed there until she finished Lee's workout at about ten o'clock.

She would then head back home, shower and eat breakfast with her parents before heading to the mission assignment desk to scrounge up whatever D-rank they had available at the moment.

She had decided long ago that she needed both the money and the missions in her curriculum if she wanted to go anywhere. It had started with a normal training session with Tenten in which she had realised she would have to buy a tantou of her own and soon.

The allowance her parents gave her wasn't nearly enough to cover the cleaning kit for the short sword.

So she worked hard every morning doing odd jobs around the village; helping a construction site, walking someone's dog, painting a fence. Anything she could get her hands on.

She had her lunch at the memorial stone by the three stumps where Team Seven had their first lunch together. She used that time to think about her progress and, in those days where the training was particularly intense and her muscles straining, she liked to let her eyes rove over the smooth characters on the stone and reminded herself of why she was doing this.

Her afternoons were spent with Lee and Tenten, sparring or practicing advanced katas and tantou work. Every week, Lee would give her a heavier set of weights and she would practice her genjutsu by concealing the hideous orange of them. Whenever they had a mission, Sakura would head to the library and look up any genjutsu material available for gennin.

It was a pitiful collection to be honest, but it had good books on theory and basic groundwork, which Sakura figured would come in handy in the future, and it was enough for her to teach herself some D-rank genjutsu and how to conceal the weights.

The break in her routine was jarring, to say the least. What could the Hokage possibly want with _her _? She was a no one now that Team Seven had officially dissolved. A civilian genin with no outstanding skills besides her brains.

Just the thought of that sent another pang through her chest.

Sakura was broken out of her reverie by a familiar face outside of the Hokage's office. Or rather, half of a face.

"Sakura-san."

"Shino!" Sakura stared wide eyed at him. She hadn't seen him since the Chunin Exams. "Are you here to see Godaime-sama too?"

"Aa," was his only reply.

Sakura stood awkwardly with him for a while, not knowing if she should continue the conversation or not. They had never been the best of friends growing up, but there was still a closeness that being Rookie 9 entailed and she didn't know how to act around him.

Should she ask after his family or something? Only, she knew that the Aburame were an awfully closed off clan and wasn't sure he would take it well.

"Enter!"

She was saved from further awkwardness by her Hokage. Without hesitation, she strode into the room and bowed.

"Hokage-sama." She deferred and Shino echoed a second later.

"Haruno Sakura," Sakura raised herself to look at the Hokage for the first time and was awestruck.

The woman wore a sensible green haori on top of a low-cut top and had beautiful blonde hair that fell over her shoulders in two pigtails. Her eyes were a bright honey that spoke of years of sorrow and she was easily the most beautiful woman Sakura had ever seen. The Godaime looked much younger than Sakura was expecting.

She didn't let her admirations show and instead let Inner swoon in the back of her mind while keeping a straight face even though it took everything in her.

"Aburame Shino," Sakura saw Shino get up from his own bow in the corner of her eye.

"You're both here today because of an oversight on my part," Sakura recognized that to be an apology of sorts. She was confused as hell but managed to keep her straight, expressionless face. "I was catching up to the village's finances and completely disregarded the mission you both undertook during the attack."

Sakura couldn't help the small frown that settled between her brows. Mission? Was this about the orders she took to follow Sasuke-kun when he went after Gaara? She wouldn't exactly call that a mission even though Kakashi had said it was. It had been more of a 'follow-your-teammates-before-they-do-something-stupid-yet-again' kind of thing.

"Yesterday I finally got the full report on what happened." Senju Tsunade leveled her chin on top of linked fingers and fixed her gaze on Sakura. "Haruno Sakura, you showed great abilities in breaking out of an A-rank genjutsu without assistance. You followed orders perfectly and was able to work well under pressure while breaking your comrades out of the jutsu and escaping the team of oto-nin. In your fight during the Chunin Exams you held your own and fought admirably against the Yamanaka kid.

"Aburame Shino, you took great initiative in following your fellow ninja into battle and showed great skill while fighting against Sabaku no Kankuro. Konoha isn't known to make these exceptions since the Third Shinobi War. However, the council and I have agreed that the village is in need of your services as certified chunin."

There was a pause in which Sakura couldn't hear anything but the sound of the blood rushing through her ears and then the Godaime was speaking again.

"However unorthodox, you both earned this. Congratulations."

A woman in a black kimono stepped forward with two bundles in her hands and Sakura had a fleeting moment to think what a dangerous, dangerous woman she was if Sakura hadn't noticed she was there throughout the conversation before she was being handed something. A flak jacket.

Her _chunin _jacket.

Sakura felt the Godaime's eyes on her and looked up to meet them. There was a glint in her gaze that left her wondering if she was supposed to say something. It surely looked like Hokage-sama was waiting for Sakura to do… something.

But before she could blurt out the first thing that came to mind, a chunin she often saw at the gates burst through the doorway.

"Tsunade-sama!"

"What's the meaning of this, Kotetsu?" The Godaime frowned at the man.

"Tachibana-sama just entered the village!" Kotetsu panted. "You told me to let you know immediately when he did."

"Shit," the blonde cursed and massaged her temples. "Aburame, you're dismissed." She opened her eyes and fixed them on Sakura. "Haruno, you just got your first C-rank as a chunin."

"Hokage-sama?" Sakura cocked her head to the side as Shino and the gate guard quickly left the office.

"Tachibana Sadatoshi is a samurai from the Land of Iron. Rich and not very personable but we go way back and he accepted my invitation. Do you know why I brought him here?" The Hokage raised an eyebrow at her.

Sakura thought about it for a moment.

"You want to show him that Konoha's fine after Suna's betrayal and the attack… right?" The blonde stayed quiet so Sakura took it as a sign that she should keep speaking. "Tetsu no Kuni is a neutral ground, sure, but they value honour and integrity and with Suna's betrayal we have to make some kind of statement that we remain loyal to the peace we fought for." Sakura narrowed her eyes in thought. "Are you bringing anyone from Suna?"

It took a moment for Sakura to realise she was speaking so plainly to her Hokage but one look at the woman told her she didn't really mind. Tsunade-hime had a small smirk on her pink lips and a pleased shine to her eyes.

"I wasn't sure when he'd get here, so I asked Temari to come earlier in the week." She nodded. "You're to show him around the village after my meeting with him and as soon as he's ready you begin your journey towards Tetsu. He already has a bodyguard with him but I offered you up as reinforcement and he was _kind _enough to insist on paying." Sakura almost scoffed. The way the Godaime said _kind _confirmed her suspicions that the Tachibana guy was trying to subtly show off Iron's wealth. "Choose two genin to take with you, you'll be captain for this mission."

Sakura's heart beat faster as she bowed.

"Hai, Hokage-sama!"

"Sakura," the Godaime stopped her before she could leave, "Tachibana is a big investor in the tourism industry. This meeting is also important for Konoha's economy."

Sakura knew where she was getting. In her tour, Sakura had to make sure Tachibana-sama saw the most prosperous districts, those that had been unharmed during the attack. Preferably how active the commerce in the village was.

"Understood." Sakura nodded.

"You have about two hours to collect your subordinates and your things. Don't forget to also pack something warm enough for snow." The Hokage shot her a look that was a little too sharp not to have a deeper meaning. "Dismissed."

Sakura bowed one last time and left, almost bumping into the man that was waiting outside the door. It was the same one who had come to warn Tsunade-sama.

He was taller than her but not by much, she was afterall tall for her age at all her five ft four glory. His hair was black and spiky and his eyes were half-lidded and equally as dark. A weird bandage ran across the bridge of his nose and covered his chin, like he had some serious injury but Sakura couldn't see anything alarming.

"Kotetsu, right?" She gave him her best smile. "I'm Sakura. Nice to officially meet you."

"Nice to meet you, kid. Congratulations too, I guess." He narrowed his eyes at her after a second. "You look like you need something."

Sakura thought about keeping up her cheery charade for a moment but then gave up on it. He seemed like a guy who appreciated bluntness over subterfuge.

"Could you get Hyuuga Hinata and Yamanaka Ino and tell them to meet me here in two hours with nice traditional-ish clothes and a pack for our escort trip?" She widened her eyes to plead at him.

"No, absolutely not." Kotetsu shook his head but then covered his eyes dramatically. "That puppy eye isn't going to work, I'm immune to it."

She didn't really know him but somehow doubted it. However, she didn't have any time to spare so just decided to go for the killing blow.

"I'll trade you a nightwatch this week."

He peeked at her through his fingers and quickly stopped his melodramatics to shake her hand.

"Deal."

And then he was gone.

Sakura almost ran home to get what she needed. Her dad was at the Haruno stall in the market and her mom was locked away in the office they had on the first floor of their house so she was able to make it to her room without any interruptions.

There she began planning.

Everything about the meeting with the Hokage was off. She shouldn't have received this promotion. She didn't _deserve _it. Shino had at least shown bravery at going after them but she had simply followed orders that day, not exactly chunin required characteristics.

Something the Hokage had said rang in her head, though. It hadn't been done since the Third War. She had just received a field promotion and that could only mean one thing. Konoha was preparing for war.

No one said it out loud but it was there in every action they'd been taking so far and only now was Sakura realizing it. The sudden influx for high ranked missions meant Konoha was trying to appear active and strong, they were most certainly protecting their borders. The field promotions ensured that their numbers hadn't dropped. Having a rich samurai from Iron-the neutral land that would be extremely valuable during a war-come to Konoha.

It was all coming together now.

Suddenly Sakura realised what had been going on during that meeting. The Hokage's pointed looks, how she had let Sakura, a completely inexperienced chunin, choose who would accompany her, how she hadn't outright said anything about the mission and rather had Sakura draw her own conclusions. She was being _tested _.

The Godaime was testing her and she had clearly passed the first part of the test.

Now she had to make sure that Tachibana invested in Konoha. They needed the money and the support and just like sending jounins out to show that Konoha still had its manpower, this was to show that they also had economical power.

The weight of her responsibilities pressed on her so suddenly she couldn't breathe for a second but it was easy to shake it off and put it in the back of her mind. The Godaime may be new to the Hokage position but she was smart, she definitely had a backup plan, Sakura just had to make sure there was no need for that.

Exactly an hour and forty-three minutes later she was watching by her place outside the Hokage's office as Hinata and Ino came up the stairs chatting idly.

They looked exactly like Sakura hoped they would. A mix of traditional but with an edge that was definitely shinobi. Samurai respected history and tradition, the significance of putting two clan heirs as part of his detail wouldn't be lost. Sakura wanted to remind him that Konoha's ninja clans were strong.

Thinking about how she chose the girls made her realise that Tsunade probably did the same to choose _her _. The Haruno clan was very present throughout the nations, small to medium sized caravans that were perpetually on the road selling anything from civilian weapons to fine silk and a few families stationed in every village big enough that would accept them.

If you were a shinobi you probably wouldn't recognize the name but their network was huge in the civilian world. Sakura knew that the head of the family, her great aunt Haruno Yuuka, lived next to the daimyō and payed frequent visits to him.

Just like that, her plan was set. She had at first just thought that showing him around the market and how well trades were going would be enough but now she realized she could do better. She would introduce Tachibana to her dad, he was afterall next in line if baa-sama's son didn't sire a heir.

Infertility or difficulty in conceiving was a common trait in the Haruno clan and because of that, her father and his cousins received the same training as children to take over in the future if necessary. Sakura was sure he could make an impact on Tachibana.

"Forehead!" Ino exclaimed and Sakura had to fight a wince at the volume. "I can't believe you got promoted and I didn't!"

Despite her words, Sakura could see that she didn't resent the fact that Sakura was the first to get promoted. There was pride clearly shining in her pupiless eyes and Sakura felt warmth curling beneath her breastbone at the sight of it.

She was on an impasse, though.

Whenever Ino goaded her like that, she usually raised up to the challenge and the result was several loud insults thrown around until whoever lost left. After their conciliation and Sasuke leaving, they hadn't had time to really settle themselves into their tentative friendship and this was the first time in a while that they'd seen each other.

Sakura could say something scathing back and they could fall back on old patterns but somehow the urge to fight wasn't there. She had so much more to worry about than some petty competition about who would get the cute boy in class.

She had to keep said boy and the others safe and for that, she had to make sure this mission went well. If Konoha went to war, it would be so much harder to protect them, especially Sasuke.

There was also the warm memory of how she and Ino used to be. Soft and supportive and how the girl had brought her out of her shell. She wanted that, she wanted her best friend. _I don't want a rival _, Sakura thought, flashbacks of the hospital's rooftop and what she had seen there rushing through her mind.

So she pushed the terrible images away and smiled softly at the blonde.

"I'm sure you're next in line, Ino-chan." Her smile grew a little ruefull. "You are the best kunoichi of our class, afterall. I was just at the right place at the right time, I guess."

Ino's look of surprise would have been funny if Sakura hadn't noticed the beginning of tears shining on them. It was, shockingly enough, Hinata who broke the tension.

"Ano, Sakura-chan, c-congratulations," Hinata smiled shyly at her. "Kotetsu-san told me you and Shino-kun made chunin. I'm very happy for you."

Sakura beamed at the girl. They'd never been awfully close but she could relate to the overwhelming shyness that plagued the dark haired girl. If she hadn't met Ino when she did, she would probably be just like her. She'd been oddly proud but still so sad when watching her fight with Neji.

"Thank you, Hinata-chan," Sakura said sincerely. "Let me give you a quick runthrough of our mission and of what I need you to do." She addressed both girls. "Then we'll go over the gear you brought and what strategies I've decided for this mission, if that's okay."

It was weird to be giving orders to people who were in her same Academy class, even weirder because they were Rookie 9 just like her, but Sakura found it to be easier than she expected. Naruto always did say-no. Thinking of the blond-sunshine on his smile and the sky on his earnest eyes-would lead her down a slippery path that she had to avoid.

She had to focus on the mission.

After discussing the finer details with Hinata, Sakura turned back to her position by the door and almost had a heart attack when a second later a pair of blue eyes met her own.

Tachibana Sadatoshi was a tall, imposing man. His dark brown hair was in a low ponytail down his back and it was clear he was off duty because of his lack of armour. Instead, he wore traditional clothes. Blood red hakama and kimono with a black haori on top and setta sandals complete with tabi socks.

He looked like he could be anywhere between late twenties to early fifties. He was beautiful, even with the scar that stretched his smile to the middle of his cheek on the left side of his face. All his physical attributes registered in the back of her mind but what really caught her attention wasn't that.

Tachibana Sadatoshi was _fast _.

So fast that she didn't have time to blink before he was towering over her and looking assessingly between her and Hinata.

Sakura had really wanted to put on her flak jacket for this mission-her first mission as a leader, her first chunin mission-but she knew that today was going to be all about appearances. So she took a traditional Haruno qipao dress with long sleeves, the same kind of shorts she usually wore but this ones reached just past her knees and donned the only black shinobi sandals she had.

She took care to sleek her hair into a short ponytail on the back of her head with her bangs framing her face and put her hitai-ate on her forehead like it was supposed to be.

She knew by the glint in his eyes-not exactly approval but definitely not disapproval-that she had succeeded in making a good first impression. She had to consciously try to repress her satisfied smile.

"Tachibana-sama," Sakura bowed low but was careful not to bow as low as she did her Hokage. "I'm Haruno Sakura, I'll be team leader for this mission." Her heart beat faster at that. Holy shit she was team leader. "T-These are my teammates Yamanaka Ino and Hyuuga Hinata."

A nod was all she got in return. Right. The Hokage had said he wasn't personable. Good thing that Sakura had learned quite a few things from interacting with Sasuke on a daily basis.

She reprehended herself for her stutter, Inner cursing up a storm on her head. Her voice yelling at Sakura to pull herself together, cutting down her insecurities to the quick. If she didn't feel like a leader then she'd better act like one until it became true.

It was easy to let Inner's confidence take over and Sakura led them around the village, calmly explaining the main monuments to the samurai. They met up with Temari outside the Hokage tower and Sakura was amused to see the older girl being cheerful and pretending they were friends.

By the time they got to the civilian district, she dived deep into all the things her dad had taught her about trade lines, touristic influence and the economy.

Tachibana was looking at her from the corner of his eyes now instead of keeping his eyes averted like he'd done the rest of the tour and Sakura fought to keep her satisfaction to herself. From time to time she caught one of the girls looking at her incredulously.

By the time they reached the center of the market district, Sakura had carefully devised a plan to _accidentally _cross paths with her dad. She couldn't be obvious about it or it would look like she was trying too hard and Konoha was desperate. She had to keep doing what she had done so far which was to play in subterfuge, the few questions he had asked she took the utmost care in answering.

"Sacchan?" Someone called from behind them and she knew her plan worked. Her dad was a creature of habit and every morning at exactly ten, he would leave his business to the employees and cross the street to his favourite tea house.

"Otou-san!" Sakura turned around and smiled the most polite smile she could. He would know that something was off by it.

Her dad instantly looked around trying to get a feel of the situation. Sakura saw how he took in Ino and Hinata and the gear they were all wearing, the backpacks on their backs. His eyes fell on Tachibana behind her and she saw recognition flash on her dad's grey eyes.

"Sadatoshi-sama, it's been a while." His voice was the same he used when Sakura was little, before her Academy days, and she went with her parents to all the conferences abroad. It was a voice that demanded respect. It was his _heir _voice.

To Sakura's utter astonishment Tachibana—who her dad referred to by his first name and wasn't that a surprise on its own—bowed his head slightly.

"Kizashi-san." Sakura could feel his eyes on her. "I wasn't aware your daughter was a ninja."

Sakura had no idea if he was happy or not about it, his poker face was _good _, but her dad clearly did because the next thing he did was smile brightly.

"Yes, and I'm sure she'll be one of the best!"

She had to fight hard to keep a frown off her face. Her dad had never acted like that about her ninja career. Her parents had always indulged her when she showed interest in something but they never outright _encouraged _her in becoming a ninja. She was almost certain they never expected her to graduate the Academy, let alone become a chunin.

She could tell by his reply that Tachibana valued shinobi. It was weird for a samurai to do so. From what she'd heard they either were indifferent towards ninja or thought they were inferior.

This was good. She could use that information in the future.

Sakura kept quiet and watched as her dad charmed the pants out of the surly Tachibana. She immediately wrinkled her nose at the image that brought to mind. Poor choice of words aside, she could see her dad subtly implying that Konoha would be a good investment for the samurai.

She could also see that Tachibana was almost sold.

She expected that his connection to the Hokage had worked in her dad's favour. All she had to do now was make sure he kept his opinion favourable and this mission would be a success.

"I'll be home soon, otou-san," she bid her dad goodbye when their conversation came to an end and began leading the way out of the village.

"You said your bodyguard was waiting for you outside the gates, right Tachibana-sama?" Sakura asked conversationally, not really expecting him to say anything.

"Yes," his reply was curt but it still made her turn to him in astonished silence, unable to hide her surprise. The slight upturn of the corner of his lips threw her in for a loop. It was like he was a different person.

She caught the girls eyes and they were both looking rather surprised by the turn this mission was taking. When they heard it was a C-rank escort mission they probably thought they would have to fight bandits, not find their way around politics.

Thankfully, the three of them had received the same type of training on politics that Sakura had. They knew to keep their mouths shut and smile prettily for the time being and to let their team leader handle it. And that would be her. The team leader.

Sakura's breath caught in her throat, anxiety bubbling in her stomach and making her nauseous. She took a few deep breaths and calmed herself. It didn't matter if she was ready to be a leader. She would do what needed to be done.

By the time she came back to herself they were already crossing outside the safety of the gates.

"What took you so long?" A bored voice called from their right.

A samurai that looked more man than boy got up from his slouched position at the base of a tree. His hair and eyes were the same shade as Tachibana's but his ponytail was shorter and perched high on his head, his bangs framing his face like Sakura's. He wore the same kind of garb as Tachibana did only his were completely black and he also held two wakizashi on either side of his hips.

So far, samurai were breaking all of the expectations she had of them.

"Stop your complaining, Shinsei." Sakura thought that if his face wasn't made of stone, Tachibana would be rolling his eyes. "This is _Haruno _Sakura. Her team will help you escort me back safely to the Land of Iron." Sakura didn't miss the emphasis he put on her clan name and the responding eyebrow the boy raised.

It was clear after an awkward pause that he wouldn't acknowledge them. A flash of anger cursed through but she pushed it down and sent a warning look towards Ino to do the same. She knew she must be getting pissed at being kept out of the spotlight while Sakura got the attention.

"I'll take point, Tachibana-sama," she looked directly into his eyes. "You'll be in the middle with your _bodyguard _to your right and Ino to your left. Hinata will take the rear. Temari will be with me."

Thankfully, Tachibana didn't take offense to her bossiness. The boy, on the other hand, smirked at her.

"Looks like kitten's got claws."

Sakura thought his voice was nice. Which was weird because she had only ever noticed someone's voice like that when Sasuke-kun spoke but there she was. Thinking the arrogant samurai had a nice voice.

She frowned at him.

"If there's an attack from the rear, Ino you'll be backup and Temari will take your place on the left. Don't break formation otherwise." She gave the dark haired boy a pointed look. "It's unlikely that anyone could get past Hinata, but I just want to cover all basis."

She waited for the others to nod before continuing, a strange feeling rushing through her at having all of their attention.

"We'll walk tonight until we reach Kawaboko. Tomorrow we'll cross over into the Land of Rivers and stop at Kin Gai. The day after we'll reach Suna and follow the border into the Land of Iron." She cocked her head. "I assumed that you didn't come with a full entourage because you wanted to keep a fast pace. Is that plan to your satisfaction, Tachibana-sama?"

"Aa." He nodded.

Shinsei narrowed his eyes at the older samurai before focusing his gaze back on Sakura. The intensity behind it surprised her and made her pulse quicken.

"O-Okay, we'll set out now." Sakura cleared her throat and they moved into formation.

The trip to the first town was uneventful but Sakura had been wired the whole time. Nothing could go wrong in this mission. She _had _to succeed.

Shinsei was annoying. He was laidback and cocky and kept complaining loudly about how bored he was of the whole affair. He didn't act at all like a bodyguard and Sakura was one innuendo away from punching him in the face.

It was amusing to watch Ino get redder and redder at each pass he made at Sakura and brushed off Ino's advances. Sakura just hoped they got to their hotel before Ino exploded.

The first half of the trip was taken in awkward silence between the girls but after it became obvious that Tachibana wasn't as strict as he looked—he let Shinsei talk his mouth out and Sakura had even caught the tiniest of smirks on his lips once—they began to engage.

Tachibana had insisted on the daimyō suite and despite Sakura's protests, had payed for them all. All the rooms were connected to the great living room where a banquet was brought to them. The samurai didn't stay long, though, and quickly retired to the master suite.

"Aniki is an old man he has to be in bed by ten otherwise he falls asleep on the table." Shinsei joked.

"Aniki?!" Ino exclaimed. "You're his brother?"

"Are," He blinked at them "you didn't know that?"

"But you're young!" Sakura blurted and immediately regretted it as he turned his full attention to her, the same flirtatious flair to him he adopted throughout the journey.

No one had ever flirted with her before. It made her uncomfortable but at the same time it made her heart beat faster and her belly feel weird. She felt like she used to with Sasuke-kun, definitely not love—she wasn't even sure she had ever really loved him—but _excited _.

"How old do you think I am, Kunoichi-chan?" He smirked at her and leaned his elbow on the table in a show of terrible manners.

"I, I mean—" she stuttered before clearing her throat and scowling at him. "Definitely not old enough, by the way you've been acting." She mumbled.

Hinata and Temari were talking quietly amongst themselves but Ino was looking at them intensely and Sakura could practically see the cogs turning in her head. Shinsei leaned further into her space and Sakura cursed the fact that she had sat down next to him.

She could feel the little bit of sake he had on his breath and his arm just brushed her covered ones enough for her to feel the heat coming from it.

"I can assure you I am _old enough _." His voice was so low it was almost a whisper. "Are you, Kunoichi-chan?"

Sakura's eyes were as big as saucers as she gaped at him. She knew what he was implying and it was like a bucket of ice water had been poured on the somewhat pleasant heat on her belly. She definitely wasn't old enough for _that. _

"Would you look at the time!" Ino exclaimed loudly and laughed even louder. "Why don't you just say how old you are and we can call it a night, Tachibana?"

Shinsei looked over at Ino speculatively for a moment before a frown marred his features. There was an expression on his face almost like bashfulness but a second later it was gone and Sakura was left wondering if it had been there at all.

"I'm nineteen." He cleared his throat in the first display of awkwardness that showed he wasn't as cocky as he liked people to believe. "It's getting late, I guess. See you girls in the morning."

He got up but before he could leave Sakura remembered her manners.

"Goodnight, Tachibana-sama." She looked at him from under her lashes and watched bemusedly as he frowned even deeper than before and left without saying a word.

"What was that?" Sakura asked quietly to herself. Things had been going fine so far. Had she said something she shouldn't?

"Let's go to bed, Sakura-chan." Ino took her hand and pulled her to her feet unceremoniously before dragging her towards one of the two bedrooms left. Sakura barely had time to say goodnight to the girls before the door closed behind them.

"Ino!" She exclaimed when the blonde pushed her down to sit at her futon.

"Finally we have some time alone to talk." Ino looked intently at her. "I'm going to talk and you're going to listen, okay?"

"Okay?" Sakura looked confusedly at her.

"Look, from the beginning of this mission you've been acting real formal and I can see that you mean business. It's why I kept my complainings to myself, you know, I don't want to ruin this for you." She took a deep breath and looked a bit unsure of herself. "Shinsei is Sadatoshi's little brother and it was clear from their interaction that they value each other opinions. He's _into _you, Sakura."

"He's so not-"

"No interruptions." Ino covered Sakura's mouth with her hand. "You took the same kunoichi class that I did, Sakura. You know what the best course of action is in this mission."

She did.

She had been naive enough so far to hide even from herself the signs he was showing-and that she was strangely enough reciprocating-and she knew exactly what it meant. Kunoichi class had taught them flower arrangement and etiquette, sure, but it had gone much deeper than that.

How to read a target to find out what type of man he was, how to hold yourself accordingly, how to seduce, when to fight back against advances.

When to give in.

It was a chilling thought and Sakura remembered that she spent two nights without being able to fall asleep after that particular lesson. She had pushed those lessons to the back of her head since then, only remembering them when she had her first moon cycle, and needed Ino to remind her.

"I didn't even have my first kiss, yet," Sakura mumbled without realising she'd said it out loud.

Ino's face contorted into the most heartbreaking expression before she went back to frowning at her. Her hands moved around her as she spoke.

"You don't need to do anything about it, Sakura!" She grabbed her by her shoulders. "You really don't, okay? The Hokage didn't order you to so there's absolutely no obligation whatsoever."

"No," Sakura shook her head, "there really isn't." She took a deep breath and looked Ino right in the eyes, her hands coming to grip her friend's wrists. "But I still want this mission to succeed, so I'll do it."

"Sakura…"

"Ino," Sakura said more firmly, gaining confidence. "I promised myself that I would do whatever it took. Sure, at the time I was thinking more along the lines of dying for my village but sometimes there are better ways to go about things, ne?"

Ino looked at her silently, admiration and sadness shining in her beautiful eyes before nodding.

"At least he doesn't seem to be too big of a jerk." She offered.

"No, he doesn't." Sakura smiled gently at the girl and tried to reassure her. "Now, help me make a strategy to go about this. You're the one who knows more about this stuff anyway."

The plan was simple, really. Shinsei seemed to like Sakura just fine the way she was, now Sakura only had to pay more attention to his cues and give some signs of her own that she was open to whatever he wanted. She was relieved she wouldn't have to do much acting but just the thought of the… physical stuff was making her nauseous.

She and Ino had decided that it wouldn't make any sense for her to try and seduce him. She wouldn't be able to fake having the experience and he didn't seem like he would appreciate it either. All Sakura had to do was pretend she wanted him but wasn't sure how to go about it or what to do exactly.

Which wasn't far from the truth.

Sakura was exhausted by the time they agreed that they needed to make some alone time for Shinsei and her so when she fell back against the pillows to rest her eyes for a bit it was no surprise at all that she couldn't open them again.

The last thing she remembered was Ino laying down beside her, her warm weight and soft breaths just what she needed to fall asleep.

* * *

_Hey, guys! Just to remind you that there will be no explicit sexual contents until Sakura is older, but keep in mind that Sakura isn't a child anymore and that even though the show didn't really know how to differentiate preteens to teens to adults, the same thing that happens with societies and eras where people were considered adults at young ages happens here. Meaning, body development and also personality growth occurs earlier and faster. _

_I hope you guys enjoyed this!_


	3. The Mission

Sakura woke up to complete darkness. For a second she panicked with the irrational fear that she had gone blind before Ino's soft snores registered on the fogginess of her mind. She didn't understand at first why she had woken up but something didn't feel right.

Flashes of the last C-rank she took went through her mind so fast she was left breathless in the aftermath. The smell of blood and death and the sea all around her, countless men screaming in agony, Naruto's desperate scream and Sasuke's limp body falling to the ground.

She woke up and the sounds of chirping birds were still echoing in her head.

Sakura took a deep, shaky breath and tried to dispel some of the tension on her muscles. The mission to Wave was a nightmare from the start and she couldn't control the real nightmares that came after. She could, however, control the effect it would have in her life, specially when she was in a mission. She had no time to deal with stupid nightmares, she _had_ to make sure this mission was a success.

With a tired sigh she got up, thankful she had slept on her day clothes, and carefully eased out of the window. She would do a perimeter check just to get her thoughts settled.

The early morning breeze was warm on her skin and the moon was already close to the horizon. Being in Land of Fire territory was settling for some reason, like they were safe, like they couldn't be attacked. It was wrong to think that, she knew. They were plenty far from Konoha and traveling with a rich business investor who happened to be a samurai.

It was the perfect place to stage a situation so that Iron broke relations with Fire and that was enough cause for alarm. Konoha was really in a shortage of ninja if they had sent her, a green chunin, two genin and a foreign chunin who happened to be from the village that had betrayed Konoha and Sakura didn't particularly trust to this escort mission.

Sakura suddenly saw movement from the rooftop of the one-story hotel.

With a kunai drawn and a defensive stance, she whirled around to face the possible threat.

"That was some quick response time, Kunoichi-chan."

Sakura forced her muscles to relax at the familiar voice. It was just Shinsei, smoking a pipe and leaning back on one hand.

"You should be asleep." Sakura didn't holster her kunai but jumped up to the rooftop, circling chakra to her feet to make the transition smooth.

"I think between the two of us, it's you who needs a bedtime, _kid_." Shinsei's voice took a teasing tone but Sakura could sense something beneath it that sounded a lot like resentment. Like calling her a kid was to serve more as a reminder for him than to actually insult her.

Suddenly last night made a lot more sense. At first she had thought that he only had a flirty personality and that's why he kept coming onto her, but he didn't treat the other girls like that. That meant he was investing in _her. _

The thought sent a heady feeling rushing through her veins. How weird it was that receiving that kind of attention made her feel this good. Sakura was an only child but her parents had always been more focused on their business than on her, and later on she had never had someone to focus on her like that.

Ino had filled a big hole in her life for a while, calling her a beautiful flower, making sure she had someone to sit with, but that ended when Sasuke came along.

And now there she was. With this boy, this _man_, really, completely focused on her. It was equal parts terrifying and exciting.

But last night he had backed off. Seemed confused and the tiniest bit frustrated when she hadn't returned his advances and when the question of age came up he had completely shut off. And now the kid comment.

He thought she was too young which, sure, she certainly was from her point of view but he couldn't be thinking that if she wanted to go on about her plan. She needed to get his attention back, for the good of the mission, for the good of the village.

(There was still a small part of her, though, only whispered quietly by Inner, that wanted his attention on her again. Wanted him to look at her like he did last night, eyes heavy with promise of delightful things she had learned during kunoichi class. Only that part of her quickly got shut down because there had also been other things she had learned during kunoichi class about how those things might not be so delightful depending on the target.)

"I'm not a kid, you know." Sakura carefully sat down next to him, her shoulder just brushing his covered bicep. "I'm young, okay, but in Konoha one stops being considered a minor when they graduate the Academy."

She expected him to go right back to flirting with her or to at least make a joke out of it but Shinsei only nodded his head slowly and took a puff from his pipe. After a few moments of silence where Sakura became progressively more agitated, he extended his hand towards her.

"Want some?"

Sakura raised her eyebrows, looking from the offered pipe to his expressionless face before shrugging and accepting it. She took it between her fingers like she saw him doing but didn't go much further than that.

"I don't really know how…" she trailed off with an embarrassed blush and was immediately gratified with his first smile of the night.

"Put it between your lips and suck the smoke in, then inhale through your mouth," his hand went around her wrist and brought the stick to just touch her lips.

Sakura did what he said and promptly choked on the smoke, her eyes watering and her lungs burning. Shinsei took the pipe back and took a practice drag of his own, all the while smirking at her.

"That tasted like shit." Sakura blurted and cleared her throat.

Shinsei threw his head back and laughed and Sakura was struck by how good he looked. The sound of his laugh was enough to bring that pleasant warmth back.

"What are you doing awake, anyway?" He handed the pipe back to Sakura and she fought a grimace and suffered through another drag, this time taking it a bit easier.

"I couldn't sleep so I decided to do a perimeter check." Sakura shrugged. She technically knew she had to turn this conversation on him, to give him some sign that she was open for more, _anything_ really, but it was hard.

She'd never had to do this before and was beginning to think kunoichi class was pretty useless with all the lack of practice involved. She needed experience and to be comfortable to take on this role and she was neither. But no one could ever say Sakura wasn't determined.

So she put on the mask that Inner provided and faked all the confidence she didn't have.

"You know, I think you should kiss me." Sakura figured she would just make a fool out of herself if she actually tried to do it. Wouldn't know where to put her hands or what to do with her mouth. No, it was best if she was upfront about it right now. She knew what type of person he was, had observed carefully just like she had Tachibana. She knew he would appreciate the joking tone she took.

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow at her but she could see his smirk growing. "And why is that, Kunoichi-chan?"

Sakura rolled her eyes at the nickname and forced herself to keep going.

"I want to learn how to do it properly," she fought to keep eye contact but didn't show her struggle. "You look like you could teach me how." She cocked her head to the side and let a tiny smile come forwards. "You look eager enough, too."

Shinsei blinked at her and there was a pause long enough to make Sakura question herself-because, good god, she never had to seduce someone before and Sasuke was the living proof she _sucked_ at it-before Shinsei huffed a surprised laugh.

"Who knew you could be this assertive, Kunoichi-chan." His dark blue eyes crinkled in the corner when he leaned his supporting arm behind her, letting their bodies get closer. "I can't say no to such a decisive kunoichi now, can I?"

His breath fanned on her face for a moment and then his lips where on hers. They were warm and soft but Sakura couldn't help but think overthink everything about herself. Were her lips as soft as his? Did she have morning breath?

With an annoyed grunt at herself she pushed back against him. This was a mission and Shinsei was nothing but an ends to a mean. There was no reason to feel self-conscious.

Shinsei cupped her cheek with warm calloused hands and put her jaw into a different angle, deepening the kiss with a swipe of his tongue on her bottom lip.

It was weird. Very weird, especially when she opened her mouth at his prompting and his tongue slid against hers. It wasn't bad weird or good weird it was just… weird.

But she learned a few things.

She learned how to nibble and suck. She learned how he particularly liked when her fingers unconsciously curled on the fabric covering his stomach. She learned that he made a nice sounding groan when she sucked on his tongue.

But most of all-when they parted and she could see his cheeks were flushed and his eyes were darker than ever while she was barely out of breath-Sakura learned that she liked this. Having the ability to make other people's skin redden with excitement and to make their hearts beats faster was _exhilarating_.

"The sun is almost up." Sakura smiled at him. "We should go downstairs to get ready."

"Yeah," he cleared his throat, clearly disappointed that they weren't going further. "I'll walk you to your room."

"There's no need." Sakura got up and stretched, taking a moment to hear the sounds of the first birds waking up. "We leave at dawn."

She jumped out the roof as silently as she could and snuck back inside. Perhaps she had been a bit curt with him towards the end but she wasn't overly concerned. She and Ino had discussed that the best course of action with a guy like Shinsei was to show interest but still play hard to get. He was the type who liked the thrill of the chase and now Sakura had him eating out of her palm.

Or so she hoped.

The trip over the border into Rivers was tense. Sakura had been on high alert since they set off for some reason and she was acutely aware that they weren't into Land of Fire territory anymore. Nothing happened, but instead of it making her relax, her nerves got even more agitated.

When they settled that night to eat, Sakura explained her contingency plan to the others.

"If a large group intercepts us or if the enemy is too strong for us we are all to separate." Sakura cleared her throat. "Team Sakura, all of us will immediately henge into Tachibana-sama. The three of you will leave with him heading east and I'll take Shinsei and head west. The meeting point will be whatever city we're headed for next."

"Are you sure, Sakura?" Ino looked concernedly at her.

"If we get attacked, the client is our priority." Sakura said firmly, flashes of Tazuna crossing her mind. "You girls are strong enough to protect Tachibana-sama and if it's just me and Shinsei I can evade the enemy and hide us with genjutsu."

It was a simple enough plan. The enemy will clearly see that they were four nin and when the smokescreen clears and they see exactly four Tachibana sticking together and heading in one direction, the logical conclusion is that the real Tachibana was with his bodyguard.

Sakura could use the genjutsu she'd been practicing. She hadn't tried it with another person but she was fairly certain she could do it so at least Shinsei wouldn't get noticed.

"It's a clever plan." Shinsei said when his brother nodded. "But do you think we're going to be attacked?"

"No, not at all." Sakura smiled reassuringly at them both. "This is just precautions. Ninja can be an extremely paranoid bunch, don't take offense."

The corner of his lips lifted slightly and they went back to eating in silence before Temari broke the tension with some carefully constructed compliment towards Tachibana.

Sakura felt a sudden rush of gratitude towards her teammates. She was so glad her first time as captain was with these clever, clever girls.

All her training with her dad had pointed out the advantages a woman had on politics and how she could use a sweet smile and kind words to her advantage. Then later on in kunoichi class she had learned how to charm with her feminine curves and how a soft voice and long hair would help her.

Being in an all male team for so long had twisted her notions of what strong meant. For a while she tried to stay thin and not to train so much her muscles would show because maybe Sasuke-kun would notice her. If she suppressed the part of herself that wanted to speak out and to fight and to be 'not girly' she could be feminine and desirable.

Using the few advantages she had over the boys because she had been surrounded by power-houses and geniuses and trying to work up to their level seemed laughable. Even Naruto, the deadlast of their class, had been leagues ahead of her. It was easier to give in and excel at being a kunoichi, something they couldn't be better than her. It was natural.

Only she had forgotten what it meant to be a kunoichi. It wasn't about having long hair, knowing flower arrangements and cooking for the team. It was _this._

It was navigating politics with an innocent smile and clever speech. It was looking at a man and knowing exactly how to bring him to his knees. It was being good at all that stuff that girls were "supposed to" be good and still look good doing it.

Most of all, Sakura was beginning to realise that being a kunoichi didn't meant she couldn't know how to fight. And how to do it _well_.

Ino was the best of their class. Hinata could be meek sometimes but she was amazing while fighting. Tenten was formidable with her weapons, much better than Lee with them. Temari was probably the scariest girl she ever seen fighting.

And Sakura, well, she had a lot of catching up to do.

Instead of feeling discouraged, she took it on like a challenge. She wouldn't give up, she wouldn't rest until she could say she was strong enough to stand side by side with the boys

The next day they set off at dawn once again. Sakura had began to settle in her new position as leader. She was still alert at all times but the nervous energy that she had felt before was all but gone. A different kind of energy took its place. Every time her eyes caught Shinsei's she felt exhilarated knowing that he had been looking at her before and, maybe, even appreciating what he saw.

It was weird, the feeling she got. Not pleasant exactly but something she couldn't make sense of. She never felt like this before, not even with Sasuke-kun. Maybe because Sasuke hadn't ever looked at her like that. It was all very grown up, something she'd only ever read about it her mum's trashy romance novels and fantasised in her bed before sleep. It should scare her but for some reason it didn't.

Maybe it was because she wasn't going into this blind, maybe it was because she knew first hand that there were worst things to be afraid off. A cute boy wanting to be with her didn't come close to watching Zabuza kill over twenty men with just a kunai on his mouth.

Sakura motioned for her team to stop. She thought she'd seen something like the sun reflecting on steel, but it was gone now.

"Haruno-san?" Tachibana asked her a bit out of breath. They had set a fast pace of running through the civilian roads instead of taking to the trees because the samurai wouldn't be able to follow them there but it looked like all the running was getting to the older man.

"Do you need a break, Tachibana-sama?" She asked with a smile instead of voicing her worries. "We can stop at the next village for lunch."

He only nodded at her but Sakura still sent him another smile before starting at a slower pace than before. It wouldn't do to make their client feel like they were flaunting their skills in front of him.

Deciding the flash could have been the sun reflecting on _anything_, really, Sakura shook the tension from her shoulders and settled for counting the weapons on her pouch to calm herself. Even if they were attacked, they would be prepared.

They had lunch in what looked like the only restaurant in a tiny village by the river. It was a peaceful place and Sakura let them take a few calming moments to appreciate the breeze. Shinsei was sitting next to her, his leg pressing on hers from time to time.

She sent him a smile. Not a coy one, she wouldn't be able to pull it off, but a sweet, private one. The same one she had seen her mum give her dad or Kurenai-sensei give Asuma-sensei. His eyes darkened and the cocky smirk he sent her back was enough proof she had done something right.

The crossing into Land of Wind was like a weight lifted off her shoulders. This was Temari's land, the probabilities of them being attacked was about the same as in the Land of Fire. Even less so because a convoy from Konoha being attacked in their territory was the last thing Suna needed right now.

They stopped for the night at an Inn by the road that Sakura thought was clean and fancy enough to house Tachibana. They were a bit behind schedule but she wasn't overly worried about it, specially if Tachibana hadn't shown any signs of complain either.

The next morning was just like every other. They got up, grabbed their things and some breakfast and were gone by the time the sun was rising.

But something felt odd.

It was the feeling she had been brushing off and overlooking ever since they left that first village in the Land of Fire but intensified. And it wasn't just a hunch, either.

It was the trees and the way they were swishing with the wind. The river they were following and the sounds it made rushing against stone. The way the road felt beneath her feet.

It was sudden, the realisation that she was under a genjutsu. It took everything she had not to react, to keep running at the same pace she had been before. If someone had put them under a genjutsu it was better if they didn't know yet that she had noticed it.

Whoever it was wasn't against letting them get closer to the Land of Iron. They had been allowed to keep the same pace and had already passed two exits that they didn't take so the possibility of them being there for Tachibana and Shinsei was low.

This was good news. If they were attacked, Sakura would order them to run away. They could probably make it across the border in about four hours, full speed.

It would have been ideal if she could use the genjutsu she was under to track whoever was casting it but she didn't trust her abilities enough to do that. She could risk exposure if she did one tiny thing wrong and she didn't have any plan to fall back to.

She was stuck, she realised. She didn't know why someone had put them under a genjutsu, how powerful they were or even how many. If they had managed to evade them—managed to evade the _Byakugan—_then they must be powerful. That thought sparked something inside her.

An enemy that had managed to fool the Byakugan was an enemy that knew how it worked. The only possible way they could have fooled Hinata was if they knew Sakura had ordered her to keep a watch on their backs. Hinata must have been worried about making sure no one would get them from behind that she didn't focus on what was ahead of her.

This also meant that the enemy had to keep ahead and at an appropriate distance.

Now she had to figure out why they were letting them continue on their route and weren't attacking. It didn't make any sense to put them under genjutsu if they weren't doing anything.

Unless they had been heading straight to their base. Unless they only needed to dull their senses long enough for them to miss the signs that they were about to come close to their headquarters.

With a plan beginning to form and no time to think any further ahead, Sakura acted.

She started sending her chakra to Ino and Hinata in short bursts to signal D.A.N.G.E.R. though it was no use to try and do the same for Temari because she wouldn't know Konoha's signals. The moment she felt the girls breaking the genjutsu, she quickly sent a wave of chakra to the other's systems as well as her own.

"Temari, full attack twelve o'clock!" Sakura whispered harshly so the enemy couldn't hear her. She was impressed when Temari didn't even hesitate before following her orders.

The giant fan on her back was suddenly striking forwards, wind so sharp it cut tree branches down like they were paper. Screams came from up ahead and Sakura could identify at least four different voices.

"Temari, you're with me." Sakura didn't spare her a glance and turned to the other girls. "You both stay here, protecting our client is your priority. If we don't come back, you each take one of them on your backs and run all the way to Suna. Don't stop until you get there."

"But, Sakura!" Ino exclaimed, kunai in hand. "You can't go like that! What if they—"

"Ino!" Sakura cut her off and stared her down. She didn't have time to argue with her, she needed to move _now _and attack while they still had the upper hand. Ino didn't say anything else, but her eyes were still wide and shining. Sakura spared her a tiny smile to reassure her before dropping her bag and taking of her weights as fast as she could.

The amount of damage they did to the floor when she dropped them was nowhere near as big as Lee's but it still made her team raise their eyebrows. She took off at top speed before realising Temari was way behind her.

"Can you do that one more time?" She asked the girl after slowing down a bit.

"You don't need to ask twice!" A wicked grin took over her face before her chakra flared as she used her signature jutsu again.

They were close enough to see the forest up ahead and Sakura was quick to get two kunai and attach exploding tags on them. When Temari's jutsu died down, she threw the kunai into the trunks of two trees.

"When I activate them, use a weaker wind jutsu!"

Sakura didn't wait for Temari to confirm before she sent her chakra to the tags. The explosion would have been enough to rock her off her feet if she hadn't stuck them to the floor with chakra and soon the flames grew in intensity, fueled and directed by Temari's chakra toward their enemy.

When the flames began to die, Sakura ran full speed towards the cover of a big tree and peeked around it to assess their enemy.

There were four men on the ground, three unmoving and one squirming and crying loudly. Another three men were there, one was leaning against a three, half of his body completely burned and chest still. The other was on all fours coughing up a storm and the last… the last was impaled by a tree branch.

It had gone straight through his stomach and his arms were badly burned. The worst thing was he was still breathing, still _conscious_.

Shaking the nausea off, Sakura turned towards Temari with a stony face. They were close enough that they could be heard but Sakura didn't care about that at the moment.

"Do you want to explain to me why they have Suna hitai-ate?"

_**Hiya! I hope you guys liked this chapter! This week we'll probably catch up with AO3, so keep tuned for more updates soon! Let me know what you guys think so far, reviews make my day!**_


	4. Kill on Sight

Temari looked between her and the carnage behind her with wide eyes before they fell on Sakura's drawn kunai. She wasn't exactly pointing it at Temari but it was enough to send a message. If Suna was really attacking her team, Sakura would have no choice but to fight Temari.

"Calm down!" She raised her hands. "This attack didn't come from the Kazekage. I don't know what's going on but if they are Suna nin then you can be sure they hold the status of missing nin now."

Sakura continued looking at her, analyzing every aspect of the older girl. She saw how her hands were shaking minutely and that despite the serious expression on her face, she was sweating. If she was given the choice, she wasn't sure she would trust Suna.

Konoha had let them betray them once and Sakura wasn't sure they had changed enough to merit the trust they put on them. But she knew that right now Konoha's support was of extreme importance to Suna, she couldn't see why they would betray her.

Sakura decided that until she got the full scope of the situation, she would treat Temari cautiously but wouldn't attack her. She nodded to the blonde.

"These are your nin and your country," Sakura pointed behind them with her kunai, "what is Suna's protocol for missing nin?"

She knew, of course, had read about it during the Academy, but she still wanted Temari's confirmation.

"Kill on sight."

Without another word to the girl, she turned and entered the clearing they had created with their combined forces. She went to the squirming man first, saw that he had an exposed fracture on his thigh, saw that he was bleeding severely from a head wound and how the front of his shirt was all but melted into his torso.

Sakura stood next to him, grip tightening around the handle of her kunai.

_I have to do this, _she thought, steeling herself for the task ahead of her. If she stopped thinking about the shinobi at her feet as a man, maybe her hands would stop shaking. She saw from the corner of her eye that Temari was approaching the impaled ninja.

The same hesitation that plagued Sakura stopped the girl before she took a kunai from her holster but Sakura didn't want to watch her any further.

She closed her eyes, imagining where the missing nin's head was and pulled her arm back. When she opened her eyes again, she barely saw a man on the floor, Inner had put a mask over her eyes and all her brain registered was _target. _

Sakura flung her arm forwards so fast she doubted someone could have seen it. As the sick sounds of the kunai piercing flesh and bone rung inside her head, the same noise was echoed from Temari's side of the clearing.

Sakura felt her breakfast burning its way back her throat but quickly swallowed it down. Her hands were shaking so she squeezed them into fists until her nails broke the skin of her palms. Inner whispered harshly on the back of her mind for her to keep it together squishing all her thoughts of _this is wrong, they were defenseless, I'm a killer, I'm a monster. _

The thing she had to do next was way worse.

"How far away is your hideout?" Sakura scared herself with how serious her voice was. The hard edge it had taken wasn't anything she had ever thought she'd be able to achieve.

The man who had been coughing up his lungs was already on his feet, turning to run away but Sakura was faster. With the speed she had gained training with Lee this past month she ran towards him and kicked him in the back with enough force to crack the tree he hit.

"I asked you a question!" She snarled at him. Inner provided her with the mental image of Zabuza and how he had projected anger and danger and how it had paralyzed her with fear. A matching image of Orochimaru and his crazy malign chakra and how he had grinned at them.

When Sakura made eye contact with the man she saw how he froze. His skin lost all its colour and sweat broke all over his face. The sudden bout of satisfaction she felt at accomplishing something made her sick.

The man only whimpered when she took some twine from her pouch and tied his hands together. The pain her tight knot brought him was enough to break him out of his stupor and he immediately locked eyes with Temari who was holstering a bloody kunai a couple of steps back.

"You're a traitor to Suna!" He spat at her. "Kissing Konoha's ass while your own village suffers. I hope the council decides on burning you and that monster brother of yours."

"Suna's in shambles because the council decided to stand with a madman and betray the only ally worth having." Temari's face contorted into a disgusted grimace. "It's because of people like you that we lost all those shinobi."

Sakura grabbed the dirty blond hair of the man before them and brought him to his knees roughly before yanking his head back to look at her. She took another kunai from her holster and pressed it to his neck until it drew blood.

"I have five questions." She whispered harshly. "You answer all of them without any fuss and we'll kill you as fast and painless as possible. If you choose to waste our time, I'll make sure your last moments alive are the worst you've ever had."

She didn't know how she could speak so callously about torturing a man to death. All she knew was that Inner kept pushing thoughts to the forefront of her mind about how this man had almost pit Sakura against Temari, about how the mission he had jeopardised could have cost greatly to Konoha, about how this wasn't a _man _at that moment, he was just _enemy_.

Inner gave her a mask to put on and hide behind. A mask made of Zabuza and Orochimaru and of the things that gave her nightmares at night. A mask she gladly took.

"Who was the genjutsu user?" Sakura asked.

"Fuck you." The man grinned at her with bloodied teeth when her kunai slid deeper inside his neck.

She didn't nick an artery but the blood was trickling steadily down his throat now. With a harsh exhale Sakura holsted her weapon and looked around her as she thought back to the basic torture class they had at the Academy. Her eyes caught on the splinters from the tree behind the man and she quickly crouched to get one of them.

When she released the man he didn't waste any time before trying to escape but Temari kicked him in his private parts so fast he couldn't do much more than double over.

"You shouldn't make this any harder on yourself." Sakura took his bound hands on hers and motioned for Temari to hold him down. "I'll ask you one more time. Who was the genjutsu user?"

"You're Konoha's bitch," he scoffed at her, "you're the _nice _village. You won't torture me."

"You're right, we're the nice village." Sakura grabbed his left pinky tightly. "But we're not in Konoha anymore."

It was messy.

At first Sakura didn't really know how to go about it. The first few tries she pierced the tip of his finger with the splinter, then she changed the angle too much and it ended up stuck on the underside of his nail. But after a while she got the hang of it.

He ended up answering all her questions and whenever he paused, Sakura reminded him by twisting the splinter embedded in his pinky finger. Every time nausea came to her and she started shaking, Inner would tell her to push through it, she would remind her that she had promised herself she would do whatever it took for this mission to succeed.

Temari was the one to deliver the killing blow when they were done.

She had managed to get out of him everything she needed. The genjutsu user, the one she figured had to be a jounin, had been the one she killed. Their hideout was about ten kilometres through the forest and they had about four men waiting there. None of them were above chunin level and they were expecting them to arrive after sunset that day.

The reason for the attack was obvious enough for Sakura but he still confirmed it. They wanted to stage a scenario in which it would be hard to determine who had betrayed who, so that Suna and Konoha broke their treaty. They had deserted the village to follow Temari to Konoha and waited outside until she showed up. The jounin of their group had once fought alongside a Hyuuga and knew that, after her order to Hinata, it would be best to stay ahead of them.

"It was necessary." Temari's voice broke her out of her stupor and she realised she'd been staring at her hands for a while, crouched where next to the dead man. "You did right by your country, Sakura."

Sakura sighed, her muscles shaking but an odd emptiness filling her. She got up and looked the girl in the eyes.

"It still doesn't make it right."

Temari continued looking at her, respect, camaraderie and a bit of fear reflecting on her face. They didn't speak for a while, only looked at each other in shared innocence lost. Sakura bizarrely wanted to ask if these had been the first man she'd had to kill.

"There's an outpost about two kilometres down the road, I need to stop there and contact Suna with the location of their bodies and their hiding place."

Sakura nodded at her and turned around, leading the way back to the rest of their team. They didn't speak any further but Temari's presence was somewhat nice to have when the adrenaline rush started to fade.

"Sakura!" Ino yelled and jogged up to them before hugging her tightly. "I was so scared."

Sakura wanted to melt into her best friend's arms, to relax her taut muscles and to let go of the tension in her body but she knew she couldn't do that. If she let go of her masks now she would break down and fall apart and she couldn't allow that right now. So she pushed Ino away as gently as she could and turned to her client.

"I apologize for the trouble, Tachibana-sama." She bowed. "We might need to postpone our arrival to Tetsu."

"Are we in danger?" He asked quietly and Shinsei tightened his hold on his wakizashi.

"Not at the moment. The attack has nothing to do with you specifically, but the missing nin have a hideout into the woods with others who are waiting for us to arrive no later than sundown. I'm confident they will attack again if they realise the entourage they sent to take us to them never arrive." Sakura explained calmly.

"W-What are we going to do?" Ino asked her quietly, her eyes focused on a spot beneath Sakura's jaw.

"We'll go to the furthest village we can get until noon and you and Hinata will guard Tachibana-sama and Shinsei until Temari and I get back." Sakura looked at Ino but she was still fixated on the spot on her neck so she looked at Tachibana instead.

"That's fine."

With a perfunctory nod, Sakura turned around and continued down the road, the others falling into formation behind her.

"S-Sakura-chan," Hinata stuttered from her place on the rear. "Ano, are you sure you don't want me coming with you to the hideout?"

"There are only four men there," Temari answered for her, "and we have the element of surprise."

"You two need to stay and protect our client, Hinata." Sakura's voice came out harsher than she expected so she turned around and smiled at the girl. "Don't worry, Hina-chan, Temari and I make a great team."

They walked in silence after that and reached the Suna outpost in no time. While Temari went inside to send the council a letter, the others stayed by the shade of some trees. Tachibana was sitting on a rickety bench and making in look like a throne while Hinata was with her Byakugan activated and eyes closed. Ino was surreptitiously staring at her while twirling her hands together agitatedly.

Sakura was ignoring her looks and leaning against the wall of the small building when Shinsei approached her. He leaned his shoulder besides her, blocking her from view of the others and reached inside his kimono for a piece of cloth.

"You have blood on you." He gently grabbed her jaw and wet the cloth with his water bottle before stroking it across her heated skin. "That's why Blondie keeps staring at you like going to collapse any second."

"I'm fine." Her voice came out hoarse and Sakura cringed from the tears she could hear behind it. His gentle gestures and soft voice was making it hard for her to keep her masks on and she had to do something before it was too late so she grabbed his wrist firmly and met his eyes. "I said I'm fine."

"Okay," he shrugged and pocketed his handkerchief but didn't step back from her. Instead, he lit a cigarette and took a few drags before offering it to her. It wasn't enough to make her feel like steel again but it did help settling the nervous energy she had cursing through her veins.

The rest of the way was less of a blur for her, she could see things more objectively now instead of pushing everything away with a frantic mantra of _don'tfeeldon'tfeel_. This was a mission, she did what she had to do, there was still a long way to go before she could break down.

They left her team with the Tachibana in the fanciest place they could find, an onsen by the road with a big daimyo suite. Sakura and Temari immediately took to the trees at top speed with Sakura with her weights back on, making her roughly the same speed as her partner.

They stopped a few kilometres after the spot where they had killed those missing nin and had a short break to eat and drink some water before carrying on. The sun was just beginning to set when they saw the abandoned building the rest of the ninja were squatting at.

It was a two story building with half its roof gone and most of the windows broken. There was a single man on guard outside, lazily using a kunai to get the dirt beneath his fingernails as he leaned against the wall. They waited a few minutes until they could hear three sets of voices from inside and confirm that the man was alone.

Sakura whispered her plan to Temari and put a genjutsu over herself before walking very slowly to the side of the house. From directly in front of Sakura, Temari rustled a bush and Sakura waited with a kunai drawn for the man to go investigate.

He could ignore it or call out and attract his comrades attention. Sakura supposed there were a few variables to this situation but she went with the most likely and created failsafe plans to go with the others.

Thankfully, it wasn't long before the Suna missing nin passed right by her. She quickly jumped up to get a hold of the hair on the back of his head and used her height to her favour when gravity brought her back down and exposed his neck to the kunai she slid across it.

Sakura's muscles strained as she carefully lowered him to the ground and she took a moment to feel nauseous from the feeling of warm blood gushing against her hand before she pushed it away.

Still hidden beneath her genjutsu, she moved back to where Temari was and took aim with three kunai. They went straight through one of the broken window and Sakura immediately activated the exploding tags on them.

"Now!" She yelled the command to Temari who quickly unleashed her wind jutsu on the flames, fuelling them until they burned impossibly hot.

Maybe it wasn't the flashiest and most chakra draining demonstration of power but Sakura had to be real. She was an inexperienced chunin whose fighting style was lacking in several different ways. She didn't know exactly who she would be dealing with, only that they were in bigger numbers than her.

The least chakra she spent, the better. The best thing she could do was end them all with one move and pick off whoever escaped the explosion while they were still disoriented.

There were two screams from inside, one male and one female, before a window broke and a woman threw herself from it. Before she even hit the ground, Temari threw a shuriken at her throat and she was dead.

The two girls waited in silence, their skin heating with the warmth from the fire as the sounds of the man inside increased before dying down.

Without even looking at each other, they both turned around and jumped to the trees. It was barely five minutes before Sakura was heading back towards the ground. She leaned her hands on her knees and promptly threw up everything she had into the bushes. After her stomach was completely empty, she still dry heaved for a while before a cool hand was pressing a wet cloth to her arm.

Sakura used the rag to dry the sweat on her forehead and neck before using it to clean her mouth and discarding it along the bushes.

"I'm sorry." She said hoarsely, still not looking at the older girl.

"Don't be." Temari said simply. After a while of watching Sakura take small sips of her canteen, she added. "You're a good ninja."

Sakura scoffed, tears she knew she wouldn't spill springing to her eyes.

"I'm weak." Her whole body was trembling, even her voice sounded brittle. "Killing is what a ninja is supposed to do and I can't manage it without vomiting."

"These are your first kills, you're taking it remarkably well, to be honest." Temari was grinning ruefully at her when Sakura finally looked at her. "Besides, what a ninja is supposed to do is protect and that's what you did today, Sakura."

Sakura stared at the girl unblinkingly, wondering where she had learned that because it sounded more like something a Konoha ninja would say, not from someone whose country's policy was kill on sight for missing nin.

Her question must have showed on her face because there was a pink tint to the blonde's cheeks as she scratched the back of her head.

"Well, at least that's what that idiot Shikamaru told me." She cleared her throat awkwardly.

"Huh," Sakura said intelligently.

"We are just having a joined Chunin Exam for this semester and the two of us are in charge of making it happen so we end up spending a lot of time together." Temari's eyes were wide as if she couldn't believe she was running her mouth like that.

"I didn't ask." Sakura smiled slyly at her and was rewarded with a blush from the girl.

"Shut up." She scowled at her and punched her in the shoulder when Sakura went past her.

With a slight chuckle and a lighter mood, Sakura took to the trees again with Temari just behind her. They reached the onsen when the moon was already high up in the sky. With a whispered goodnight, they headed to their private rooms to change and catch a few hours of sleep before dawn.

When Sakura was striping, however, she noticed that her right hand was still covered in blood and suddenly she felt too dirty for bed. With a barely suppressed shudder, she hastily took off all her clothes and grabbed a towel before jumping over the walls of the onsen to get to the girls section.

She didn't waste any time in jumping into the scalding water and scrubbing herself vigorously. Her skin was pink and tender but she didn't care because she had to get the blood _out_. It was a few seconds later that she realised she'd been panting and that the dripping she'd been hearing was the sound of her tears hitting the pool.

"Shit." She couldn't even keep her promise to herself to never cry again. She supposed it had been stupid of her to think she could change so drastically overtime.

Sakura took a few unsteady breaths to calm herself before getting out and wrapping a towel around herself.

"There you are."

Sakura gasped and turned to the entrance she had completely forgone in her haste, her fingers twitching for a holster that wasn't there.

"Shinsei," she breathed. "You scared me."

"I heard you girls coming in but your light was still on." He shrugged. "I got worried when I didn't find you in your room." There was a sheepish undertone to his voice that strangely appealed to Sakura and thinking of it she remembered the other part of her mission.

It was maybe a mix of different things that made Sakura do what she did next. It may have been the conflicting emotions she had all day, the horrible things she had to do or even the unexpected tension that had sneaked under her skin when she was with him. She didn't know why but the next thing she knew Sakura was in his arms, her hands bringing his head down almost like she had done to that man outside the cabin but this time it was to bring his lips to hers in a heated kiss.

That first time she didn't exactly know what to do and this wasn't much better but Sakura knew she had to do _something _about Shinsei before the mission was officially over.

His lips seared hers and Sakura relished the intensity in which his tongue slid against hers. His large hands encircled her waist completely and brought her closer to him while her own desperately wandered from his neck to shoulder to his chest.

With a sudden movement, Shinsei pushed Sakura against the wooden wall hard enough to make her head smart and for her to come back to her senses a bit. But then his lips were moving down and he-oh, god-he was biting and sucking the sensitive skin of her neck making her gasp from how unexpected it was.

Shinsei took her reaction to mean he could go farther, though, so he glided his hands from her waist to her hips to her bottom to grab behind her thighs and push her up, trapped against the wall and his body.

It was all too much.

She could feel every inch of him including his private parts which were pressing against hers and she wasn't wearing anything beneath her towel and oh god, oh god, she could _feel _him and it was feeling nice until it wasn't because it was too much, she didn't want this, _she didn't want-_

"Sorry, Kunoichi-chan." Shinsei froze before carefully set her down and taking a step back. "I pushed more than I should have."

Sakura only stared at him for a moment, panting for breath and eyes wide, before her brain caught up to her.

"N-No!" She reached for him, her hands grasping his kimino tightly. "I didn't mean to freeze like that, Shinsei, I'm sorry!" She couldn't fail this. She had to push forward no matter what.

"Sakura." It was the first time he had called her by her name and he did it so seriously she stopped her frantic babbling and looked at him. "Don't worry, okay? I took things too fast but I'm sure we'll have more time to get to know each other."

"What?" Sakura whispered.

"Heh," Shinsei winked at her. "Just something my aniki said. I figured he wants to keep business with Konoha strong so I'm sure we'll have other opportunities.

"Oh," Sakura's eyes widened comically.

"Goodnight, Kunoichi-chan," he kissed her on the cheek. "See you tomorrow."

And then he was gone, leaving Sakura feeling oddly empty. She had gotten her confirmation that the implicit mission had been a success but she had still failed her personal mission. She was supposed to seduce him but she just couldn't go through with it.

With heavy steps she made her way past her room into Ino's, not at all surprised to see the blonde still up. Without caring about clothes, she slid into bed beside her best friend and cuddled up close to her.

"Did you do it?" Ino's voice was sleepy.

Sakura didn't know what part of the night Ino was asking confirmation about but all she could answer was a quiet, "No," before she fell asleep.

_Hiya, guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter... Let me know what you think? The next chapter will be up soon :)_


	5. Mission Complete Team Seven Style

Sakura woke up with a headache. It pulsed behind her sinus angrily and when she tried to open her eyes, all she could do was groan miserably.

"Your eyes are swollen, Sakura-chan." Ino laughed quietly when she only groaned louder. "I'll get your clothes and some ice for that."

Sakura only managed to push herself up into a seating position on the futon before Ino was back. She gave her a glass full of iced water and Sakura gulped it all down before trying to speak.

"What time is it?" She croaked.

"Just before dawn," Ino sat down next to her and pointed to her chest. "Your boob is showing."

"Ino!" Sakura quickly set the glass down and used both hands to put her towel back in place.

"It's not like I've never seen you naked, Sakura-chan," Ino scoffed and waved her hand dismissively. "It is the first time I slept next to someone who was naked, though. Never figured it would have been someone with pink hair, to be honest."

Sakura stared wide eyed at her for a moment before an incredulous laugh escaped her.

"You're ridiculous." Sakura shook her head at the blonde. She reached for the discarded glass and used the ice inside it to press soothing cold into her eyes.

"What happened with Tachibana?" Ino didn't waste any time. Sakura could hear in her voice that this wasn't the only thing she had been meaning to ask but she knew Ino wouldn't mention what happened at the hideout. She knew Sakura had killed those men and that relieving the fact wouldn't help her in any way.

Sakura sighed.

"I froze."

"So… the mission?" Ino asked carefully, her hands twisting in her lap.

"A success." Sakura dropped the ice back on the glass and got up to start getting dressed.

"Sakura," Ino huffed. "Stop being so evasive."

Sakura was quickly putting on her warmer clothes, they were about to enter Tetsu territory and the extra layers would be necessary soon. She waited until she was almost done before turning back to her best friend.

"He said that his brother was thinking of keeping relations with Konoha strong and that we would have more time to get to know each other." Sakura ran her hands through her hair and sat down with her back to Ino. "He's a decent guy. Can you make a braid for me? My hair is a mess from sleeping with it wet."

"Just because he's not pushy doesn't mean he's not an asshole, Sakura!" Ino started stroking her fingers through her hair a bit more aggressively than merited. "Doesn't make him any less of a paedophile."

"Paedophilia would imply I'm underage, Ino-chan." Sakura said gently.

"You are still too young for these kinds of things!" Ino insisted harshly and Sakura could hear the tears in her voice.

"But not too young to kill?"

The silence that ensued was heavy. Ino's hands were shaking as they finished weaving her hair into a perfect braid and the two of them sat still for a while before the blonde's quiet sniffles made Sakura speak up.

"I'm sorry." She said without turning around. Ino sniffled once more before getting up abruptly.

"No." She shook her head and looked head on at Sakura with a fake smile on her face. "You're right, Sakura-chan. We're kunoichi of the Leaf. We do whatever is needed of us, right?"

They didn't do much more speaking while they got their things in order. The whole group gathered for a hearty breakfast at the suite's common room and they headed out just as the sun had finished rising over the tree tops.

The trip into Iron was done in quiet chatter. The weather got progressively worse and by the time they could see the Sanro, the three wolves mountains, they had been carting through snow for about two hours. The sun was almost completely hidden by heavy clouds now but Sakura's internal clock told her it would be a few hours until noon.

"This is where we depart, Sakura-san." Tachibana stopped their entourage when the road they were on forked into three paths.

"Are you sure you don't need us to accompany you to your estate, Tachibana-sama?" Sakura asked the man with a frown on her face. It didn't feel right leaving them in the middle of the road.

"We are already in my land. No harm will come to me." Tachibana looked her over clinically then his eyes moved to his brother before resting on her once again. "Call me Sadatoshi, our families have done business for generations, there is no need for such formalities."

Sakura knew her family wasn't the only reason he was granting her permission to call him by his first name. Sakura's connection as a Haruno made an impact, sure, but things had changed since the beginning of the mission. There was respect on his eyes when he looked at her now and maybe a bit of cunning when he looked back at his brother.

Sakura was sure that if her dad allowed it, Sadatoshi would try to arrange a marriage between Shinsei and her.

"I hope we were of service, Sadatoshi-sama." Sakura bowed at him, the girls following suit and echoing the gesture.

"Konoha will always be welcomed in my lands as a sign of gratitude, Sakura-san." Sadatoshi nodded at them and left without another word to them. "Hurry up, Shinsei."

The younger samurai smiled charmingly at the girls and saluted them jokingly.

"Ja ne, Kunoichi-chan." He winked at her.

Temari snorted as they stayed watching the backs of their traditional garb. She slung her arm across Sakura's shoulder and together the four of them went back the way they came.

"How did that go?" Sakura could see from the glint of her eyes that Temari was fully aware of the side mission she had undertook. It was no use playing dumb so she merely grinned back, face full of faked female smugness.

"Mission complete."

Temari laughed out loud and Ino joined with a snort and a shake of her head while Hinata stared wide eyed at them all.

"At least we can go back to acting like ninja now."

And with that they all took to the trees, happily channelling chakra into their feet to help them move faster. It had been constricting to travel like the samurai and Sakura was glad she could feel the wind rushing towards her once again. Her headache lessened as the exercise pumped adrenaline through her veins and Sakura felt weightless.

When noon came around, Temari stopped them to say goodbye.

"We can go with you to Suna, if you want." Sakura offered.

"No way." Temari shook her head and turned around. "Go home and get your pay, Sakura. You deserve it." She waved her hand. "See you girls in a couple of weeks back in Konoha."

Sakura had almost forgotten that Temari was going to be a constant in Konoha. She was suddenly ridiculously glad for the Chunin Exams and the opportunity it gave her to keep in contact with the girl.

"Wait up!" Sakura walked up to her as she scribbled something on a piece of paper she had laying around her in backpack. "This is my address. When you go back maybe you could visit? Or send me a letter…"

Sakura trailed off awkwardly, her cheeks burning at how stupid she felt. Temari was just a teammate she had for one mission, she was older and foreign, she wouldn't want anything to do with Sakura. But still, a part of her wanted the girl's friendship. She had made the horrible tasks Sakura had to do for the first time more bearable and it meant something to her.

Temari looked surprised at Sakura's request but she quickly took the piece of paper and sent her a fierce smile.

"See you soon!"

"See ya!" Ino waved excitedly.

"Have a safe trip, T-Temari-san!" Hinata blushed at her stutter but there was still a tiny smile on her face.

Sakura turned back to her teammates and smiled greatly, a big weight seemed to be off her shoulders. The girls smiled excitedly at her, also happy to be done with the mission.

"If we keep a fast pace and camp out in the woods we can be in Konoha for breakfast." Sakura raised her eyebrows. "What do you say?"

"It's been a nice vacation but I'm ready for my kaa-san's food!" Ino put her hand on her hip and laughed a bit.

"I can keep up, Sakura-chan!" Hinata nodded determinedly at her before giving a shy smile.

"Yosh!" Sakura turned around and tightened her hitai-ate. "Let's head out then!"

It was a nice feeling to be going back home. Sakura was still a bit shaken with the things that had happened and she was sure plenty of nightmares were to come but it didn't really matter because the mission was a success. She did it. She actually managed to accomplish her first mission as a chunin with only minor setbacks.

Well, minor to Team Seven standards, anyway.

They kept an almost full speed pace for the first two days of travel, only stopping long enough to scarf something down and change out of their winter clothes before moving on. On the end of the third day, the sun was almost completely hidden by the horizon and, by Sakura's estimative, they could even make it to Konoha in that same night if they didn't mind running in the dark for about an hour.

Maybe she had counted her blessings too soon. Maybe she had angered the universe in anyway or maybe the headache that had been making its comeback all throughout the journey had made her miss the signs of an ambush.

It didn't really matter because one second they were chatting animatedly about whether they should stop for the night or keep going and the next second Ino was screaming and dropping to the forest ground.

With her best friend's blood splattered all over her face and the sounds of kunai rushing through the wind, all Sakura could do what stare wide eyed at all the red around her.

* * *

_Don't hate me?_


	6. An Unexpected Arrival

"Sakura-chan!"

Hinata's scream broke Sakura out of her frozen state instantly as the dark-haired girl sent kunai after kunai to stop the trajectory of the ones heading towards her. Sakura threw several shuriken at the attackers up ahead.

"Hinata! Cover me, I need to check on Ino!" Sakura managed to say despite choking on her words. There was so much blood and the distance from the tree branch and the floor was _high_ but Sakura refused to believe Ino was dead.

The two girls jumped down to the clearing below, Hinata scrambling to fend off attacks and Sakura immediately dropping to her knees beside Ino. At first she couldn't make sense of what she was seeing, there was so much blood, but soon her meagre first aid class during the Academy started kicking in.

She had to see if she was breathing. With shaking hands, Sakura felt for a pulse on her friend's neck while bending her head to see her chest. Good, the pulse was strong and she was breathing. Shallowly, which was worrying, but breathing all the same. Sakura felt relief flood her system like morphine, making her dizzy for a moment before she returned to her assessment. Just because she had a pulse didn't mean Ino was safe.

Next, she had to find the source of the blood.

She was interrupted by Hinata's scream.

"Hinata!" Sakura turned around to see the girl clutching her cheek, blood dripping from between her fingers.

"I'm fine!" Sakura continued looking only long enough to see for herself that she could keep fighting before she went back to Ino.

There was a gaping hole on her upper arm and it was bleeding heavily. Sakura didn't waste any time in stripping to her mesh shirt and bindings and cutting strips of her qipao dress—_you look like a princess in it, Sacchan_, her dad had once said—with her kunai. She first tied a few of them around the wound itself before creating a tourniquet above it. She didn't have any more time to take care of anything else but took careful stock of the bump on her best friend's head and of the odd angle of the left side of her torso.

Ino probably broke some ribs and hit her head on the fall but there was absolutely nothing Sakura could do about it while the enemy was still attacking them.

"Hinata! Switch with me!" Sakura got up and blocked another flow of shuriken while Hinata took her place. She quickly threw an exploding tag attached to a kunai to where the barrage had come from. "I'll distract them. You take Ino straight to Konoha, okay? She's bleeding a lot, the wound is not coagulating at all, I don't know how much longer she has!"

Sakura took the moments the enemy were dealing with the explosion to drop all of her weights.

"I-I can't leave you, Sakura-chan!" Hinata was crying but Sakura was relieved to see she had gotten Ino on her back.

"You can and you will. That's an order." Sakura was surprised by how calm her voice was but she knew deep in her bones that she would protect those girls until her dying breath. It didn't matter that her legs were shaking from how afraid she was, she had to get them to Konoha. "Don't worry, Hina-chan, I'll catch up to you soon!"

Sakura didn't look at Hinata any longer, instead she turned back to her enemy. She had already counted four different directions the attacks had come from. Hinata took to the trees again, going faster than Sakura thought she was able to and it was like a weight was lifted off her shoulders.

"Don't let the Hyuuga heiress escape, you idi-" the man was dead before he could finish his sentence, Sakura's kunai, hidden by a simple genjutsu, on his throat.

She could finally see all of them, the three remaining ninjas were on the same tree only a branch between each of them. They were two men who were gangly enough for Sakura to think she could take them on and a woman who had a tantou on her back and looked like she had more experience than the both of them combined. They were all wearing Kusa hitai-ate with the symbol scratched in the middle.

"Give up, little girl, the rest of our team is coming soon." The woman smiled mockingly at her. "Even if you manage to hold us back, others will come."

"Not that you will last long," the man closest to her stupidly drew attention to himself right before throwing a lightning jutsu at her. Sakura didn't have time to think on her next actions. Letting instinct take over, she quickly used the kawarimi no jutsu—the one she had always been so good at back at the academy—to change place with the branch beside him and used her momentum to kick him in the throat, one foot attached to the tree with chakra and the other striking him swiftly.

The amount of force she put behind the blow was enough to crush his windpipe and he fell to the forest floor in a heap.

"Tei!" The other man yelled after him, anguish clear in his voice.

Sakura was again at the place Inner had designed for her in which she could do terrible things. It was surprisingly easy to put the mask on. While the man was distracted mourning his comrade, she quickly jumped to his branch and attacked him with her kunai, her grip surer after her lessons with Tenten.

The man wasn't quick enough to dodge completely but he managed to escape the brunt of it, only taking a shallow cut to the arm. He grabbed her suddenly by her still extended arm and tried to flung her off the tree but she held on to him with all her strength and took him with her. At the last second, she pushed off him and slowed her fall by jumping from tree to tree until she reached the ground just before him.

His fall had been less controlled than hers so Sakura took the few seconds he was righting himself to close the distance between them and strike with a kunai. She had been aiming for his heart but a sudden kick to her back sent her down and she ended up cutting his torso wide open.

The blood gushed from his wound and coated her exposed skin but Sakura didn't let herself be shocked by how warm it was. The woman was behind her and she had precious seconds before she attacked again.

Sakura moved fast to her feet but at the last second, when she was about to leap away, the woman hit her with her short sword. The damage was slighter than it could have been because Sakura was already moving away but her tanto still sank into the skin of her shoulder painfully, tearing a scream from her throat when she fell to the floor and it ripped away.

"Tell me, girl," the woman kicked her on the back again and Sakura felt one of her left ribs crack, "was killing three of our men of any use to you?"

Sakura gasped in pain as she was unceremoniously yanked to her feet and flung around to look straight at the woman. Her red painted lips were stretched into an ugly, vicious smile, her dark blonde hair loose around her shoulders and speckled with Sakura's blood.

Before Sakura could say anything, the sound of ninja moving through the trees drew their attention. For a fleeting second Sakura let herself hope that it was someone from Konoha coming to rescue her, but reality sunk in leaving only despair in its wake.

The woman had said that they'd been waiting for the rest of their team and sure enough, ten more ninjas entered the clearing. They were all wearing the same black cape that her assailants were and had different types of swords strapped to their bodies.

"What happened here, Riruka?" A tall woman asked, her voice husky and dangerous. She was clearly the leader.

"We were waiting for a Leaf team to come through so we could use them as hostages against those ANBU bastards." Riruka spit on the ground but didn't point her tanto away from Sakura. "We even got lucky enough that the Hyuuga heiress happened to be passing by but this bitch here slowed us down."

Sakura didn't know what had possibly possessed her to let go of her careful hold of her mouth. All she knew was that there was no way she was getting out of this alive and she wanted to let go of her anger before it happened, then Inner was taking over so quickly Sakura almost felt whiplashed.

"You're never going to reach them before they get to Konoha, you fucking bastards. I hope ANBU catches up to you and tear you apart limb from limb."

Before Sakura had even finished her sentence, Riruka was backhanding her so hard she fell to the side, her forehead catching on a sharp rock that cut open a straight line through her left eyebrow. Sakura was gearing up to continue her tirade, to let her last moments on this earth be of defiance and boldness but the next thing she knew, a thousand birds were chirping.

It took her a moment to realise what she was hearing and what it meant, but as soon as the dots connected in her head, Sakura jumped to her feet and took a kunai from her holster. She came onto Riruka full strength and the woman was just distracted enough for her to manage to disarm her.

Sakura quickly dodged the woman's lightning filled kick and aimed a kunai at her. It was blocked rather easily but Sakura had anticipated that and had sent a kunai with an exploding tag hidden on its shadow by a genjutsu.

The tag went off when Riruka saw through her genjutsu and paired the kunai and Sakura raised her arms against the force of the explosion as she leaped away. The force of it threw her further back but she didn't feel it burning her.

The sounds of fighting were echoing all around her but Sakura didn't have time to look around because Riruka, with arms heavily burned and her clothes in tatters, screamed in outrage and charged at her. She stood her ground, ready to defend herself with her kunai but a masked figure stepped between them and with a swipe of its sword, Riruka's head fell to the forest floor.

Kakashi was _tired_.

His squad had been ordered to assassinate a band of missing nin from Grass that had been causing trouble at the border about a month ago and what was supposed to be a two-week mission was taking twice as long because the ninja kept disappearing on them.

They apparently had a sensor type with them and always seemed to know when they were being followed.

Kakashi had ordered his squad to keep its distance about a week ago but today he'd noticed that their scent had split into two. With how close they were to Konoha, he was about ready to finish this mission once and for all.

They had been gaining in on the larger fraction when Kakashi felt the scent of the two groups mix.

Signing for his squad to proceed with extreme caution and to hang back a few metres, he followed their trail without making a sound. By the time he could see the clearing in the distance, he knew something was wrong.

He didn't waste any time before attacking half of them with his Chidori, barely looking around other than to confirm his next target. His hand went through five chests, breaking through tissue and bone easily, before an explosion caught his attention.

His squad had arrived. Genma cut the head off a blonde woman while Keiichi took three ninjas down with his clan jutsu and Yuugao battled the other two with her katana. The numbers weren't exactly matching up and a single figure stood behind Genma, kunai raised and battle ready.

The girl was almost bare from the waist up and absolutely covered in blood.

Kakashi was moving forwards, blade drawn to interrogate the suspicious character his teammate had so obviously protected before he noticed the Konoha hitai-ate. Then she spoke.

"Kakashi-sense—Kakashi-senpai."

Kakashi immediately stopped in his tracks, both eyes widening in realisation. The girl was Sakura. Blood covered, battle ready _Sakura_. The genin who had been placed on his disaster of a team, the genin who was now in the middle of his mission. His ANBU mission.

"Identify yourself, kid." Genma pointed to three bodies he had assumed had been his team's doing before Kakashi could say anything. "Did you kill those ninjas?"

Sakura straightened her narrow shoulders, determination and urgency on her sharp features.

"Haruno Sakura, chunin, registration number 012601." She said hurriedly, her words almost blurring together. "My team was attacked on the way back from Iron. Do you have a medic-nin in your squad?"

"The captain is the only one who can divulge this type of info…" Genma trailed off for Kakashi to take over but he didn't need to because he was already reaching towards the girl.

"Are you hurt?" Kakashi asked harshly, his eyes roving over her figure and noticing the wound on her shoulder.

"It doesn't matter, Hatake-san." She slapped his hand away and he noticed she was shaking. "Ino is badly injured. I sent Hinata ahead with her but I—I'm not sure she'll make it to Ko-Konoha."

"Kitsune knows basic medical jutsu." Kakashi was barely done speaking before Sakura's head turned towards Keiichi.

"Then we have to hurry and catch up with them, I think the kunai that hit Ino might have been poisoned."

Sakura, the same Sakura he had always secretly thought would never go any higher than genin, leaped into a tree faster than he ever thought her capable of. She was moving very quickly ahead of them as Kakashi turned back to his team.

"Taichou?" Yuugao questioned uncertainly, her cat mask tilting to the side in question.

"This is an emergency. Tanuki, Neko, stay behind to collect the bodies. Kitsune, full speed until we reach the girls." Without another word, he went after Sakura. It was jarring to realise that he actually had to put some effort to catch up with her. Her speed wasn't exactly on ANBU standards but it was still high enough to be noticeable.

"Byakugan!" Keiichi called from his left just as they were a branch behind Sakura. "I see them! About two kilometres ahead of us, we'll probably reach them in two minutes if we go full speed."

"Sakura," Kakashi shunshined to her side. "Climb on my back, we need to move faster."

Kakashi saw the displeasure on her face but didn't expect her to jump on his back without complaint. He tightened his core muscles to keep his balance and continued on their track, letting Keiichi take point.

The two minutes it took to reach the girls were enough for Kakashi to lose track of his thoughts. He had never expected his mission to end with Sakura turning up with three dead bodies and a promotion on her shoulders. The type of seriousness he saw on her, determination mixed with the frightening weight of responsibility, wasn't something he was prepared for either.

Kakashi jumped next to the Hyuuga girl and almost lost his balance again when Sakura leaped off his back to help her support the blonde girl.

"Sakura-chan, I'm so glad you're okay!" Kurenai's student was crying, blood mixing with her tears down her cheeks as she turned towards them. Her eyes widened when she saw Kakashi and Keiichi. "What's going on?"

"ANBU-san is going to heal Ino, Hinata." Sakura had completely taken Ino's weight on her and was lying against the trunk of the tree. She looked expectantly at Keiichi, her eyes burning like she was daring him to do anything but.

"I'm not an iryo-nin, Haruno." Keiichi was already concentrating green chakra on his right hand and bringing it to the girl's arm. "I can only close the wound superficially until we get to Konoha. My expertise only goes that far and if she really has been poisoned, she's going to need more help than I can give."

But Kakashi knew it was enough. Ino was pale but he could see her chest rising and now that they had arrived, they could make it to Konoha in half an hour or less.

"Is she stable?" He asked Keiichi, seeing how the man had tensed upon looking at the blonde.

"We can't jostle her much on the way back, Taichou." Keiichi turned to look at Kakashi. "She definitely has a few broken ribs and the risk of them piercing a lung is high at this point."

Kakashi nodded at him.

"I'll take her as soon as you're done. You'll accompany the girls at their own pace."

Keiichi carefully set Ino in his arms and Kakashi was about to shunshin away when he was stopped by a hand on his uniform.

"Hatake-san," Sakura's eyes were impossibly wide and her voice was tiny but strong. "Please be careful."

He should be insulted but he wasn't. He could see the desperation for everything to be alright on her face. It was the same expression she had given him when Naruto and Sasuke had almost killed her at the hospital's roof. It was the same expression she had given him when they were dealing with Zabuza in Wave. It was the expression of a student asking for reassurance from their sensei and it was surprisingly easy for Kakashi to fall back to that role—the same one he had resisted so much from taking on.

"Don't worry, Sakura-chan." He cocked his head a bit to the side and smiled at her even though she wouldn't be able to see. "Everything is going to be okay."

The lie somehow felt bitter on his tongue as he sped through the forest. He had said that same thing to her before and things had turned out as far from okay as possible. But even though she had been trying to distance herself from him, calling him Kakashi-senpai and then Hatake-san, he knew she had needed reassurance.

He knew because he had been in her shoes one too many times with a teammate dying on the mission he was leading. He knew exactly how she was feeling, how her muscles were shaking so much she had to clench them or how the only thing keeping her steady was the duty she had to the village. So he pushed himself to his limit, running as fast as he could without jostling the girl in his arms.

Kakashi had been unable to prevent his student from having her first kill so early in her career but he knew without a doubt that he would do everything in his power so that she didn't have to lose her best friend like he did his.

.

_Hello, lovelies! _

_I hope our boi Kashi appearing made up for last week's cliffhanger (hihi). I'm so excited about this fic and it makes me so happy so many people are liking it so far. Thank you all who reviewed, you always make my day and my muse works 100% harder when I see your words of encouragement. _

_We're officially caught up with AO3 (uhuuuu)!1!one! Expect some much longer A/N's from now on._

_I hope y'all have a wonderful day xx_


	7. Sakura Saku

They made it to the hospital. That fact didn't exactly comfort Kakashi because Hinata had passed out as soon as he saw Keiichi and Sakura crossing the emergency doors. Now both girls were in surgery with Tsunade and Shizune and Kakashi was left to throw worried glances at Sakura who was staring at the white walls of the corridor outside the operating room.

She was clearly in shock. He didn't need to be a doctor to know that, had himself been in her shoes more than once before and knew exactly what the blank look and pale face meant.

"Kitsune," he called out to Keiichi who was pacing up and down the hall. "Get a nurse over here to treat Sakura's injury."

"Taichou, Hyuuga-sama is—"

"In surgery," Kakashi interrupted him. "And it may take a while. Sakura was stabbed and is in shock, she needs someone to tend to her."

"I'm not in shock." Sakura's voice was so small he almost missed it but then her eyes finally met his underneath the porcelain mask and he could see the way they were glazed over. "I'm fine."

Keiichi stopped his pacing to look at the girl and Kakashi could see in the way he paused that he had just realised how much Sakura was in need of medical attention. He turned around without a word and hurried away.

Kakashi rummaged around his pouch until he found some gauze he could put over her wound. The moment his gloved hands touched her, Sakura's head moved so she could look at her shoulder.

"Oh," she whispered.

"You're going to be okay, Sakura-chan." He didn't know what else to say. Reassuring her like he had done so many times before sounded like a good idea at first but then she was turning narrowed eyes at him and he was suddenly feeling the same way he did when he fought a particularly strong enemy which was just ridiculous.

"Shut up!" She slapped the hand he had covering her wound away. "You said everything would be okay, sensei, and it wasn't! Things are as far from okay as possible!" Her cheeks were flushed and there were tears in her eyes and Kakashi felt like someone had sucker punched him. "Sasuke-kun deserted, Naruto is _gone_ and Ino…" She broke off into a sob.

Kakashi was at a loss. He didn't know what to do or to say to comfort her. He had gone through what she did but Sakura and him were very different people. Isolating himself and diving head first into his shinobi duties was what he did. He didn't know how to comfort girls like Sakura.

"I'm sorry," was all he managed to say.

"I don't need you to be sorry, Kakashi-_san,_" Sakura was shaking when she locked eyes with him. "I don't need you to lie to me and say everything will be okay when I know it won't. I just need you to _go,_ leave me alone._"_ She took a deep breath and turned her face away from him. "We both know you're great at that."

She was right.

He knew she was right. He also knew that this really wasn't all about him. She had lost her team in one go and now the teammates she was captain of and therefore responsible for, were in the brink of death. It was a lot for a teenage girl and he wouldn't hold the outburst against her.

The thing was, he really had no business being there, trying and failing horribly at consoling her. He was no longer part of Team Seven—there was no more Team Seven—and Haruno Sakura wasn't his student anymore. He had recommended her for Tsunade to take on as an apprentice but he was a jaded, broken man who could offer her nothing more than a fake smile and a pat on the shoulder.

It was with one last glance at her that he turned around to leave. Keiichi and a nameless nurse were behind him, clearly waiting for him to blow up at her or worse.

"Make sure she's okay," he said to neither or both of them and without another look at the pink-haired girl behind him, he left, leaving only smoke in his wake.

Sakura stayed the whole night sitting outside the operating room. There were a lot of nurses coming and going but she paid them no mind, only lifting her head when Hyuuga Hiashi and then Inoichi came.

Ino's mum, Neji and Hanabi were all there but she didn't speak to any of them. Didn't sit in comfort with them or even so much as looked at them, just stayed on the cold floor, trying not to shake so much.

She was still in just her bindings and mesh shirt and the nurse had healed her stab wound but she was still mostly covered in blood. Keiichi had left when Hinata's dad had arrived with just an awkward hand to her uninjured shoulder.

After hours of waiting, the doors opened and Tsunade came out of the room.

"They are both fine." It seemed like the room gave a collective gasp of relief. "Hinata can probably go home the day after tomorrow but I want to keep Ino here for observation for a couple of weeks. The poison in their system was a simple but effective one. Luckily we had the antidote here." The Hokage's eyes caught hers and Sakura saw how they widened before a frown appeared on her face. "What are you still doing here? Go home, Haruno. Get a change of clothes and come debrief me. I still need to know what the hell happened, I want a written report."

Sakura felt like someone was constricting her throat. She couldn't say anything to her Hokage, only nod obediently and turn around but when she was about to leave her eyes finally roved the girls' families. She saw how they looked so exhausted but also how relief showed in their shinny eyes. Even Hinata's dad showed some emotion on his face.

"I'm sorry," she choked out, bowing to them all. "I was team captain, it was my fault. I shouldn't have assumed we were safe until we actually crossed the gates. We were not even a couple of hours away but still, I-I should've—" She swallowed down a sob, her fists clenching by her side.

"Sakura-chan." Inoichi stepped forward, his hand landing warm on her shoulder. "Ino-chan and Hinata-chan are both fine. Don't beat yourself up too bad."

"Inoichi-ojisan…" Sakura looked at him with tears in her eyes, her voice shaking from the effort of keeping it all in.

"Now," he smiled at her, the exact same smile that Ino used to give her when they were children, "listen to your Hokage and go home, Sakura-chan. You need to get cleaned up and to give your report, okay?"

Sakura nodded at him and left, still mostly keeping her eyes averted from everyone else.

She took to the roofs as soon as she was outside, going full speed and not bothering to look up from her feet. She was shaking so bad by the time she got home, she almost couldn't open her window. She thought it was probably best her parents didn't see her in that state so she headed straight to her bathroom.

Sakura didn't bother getting out of her clothes, just lost her pouches and stepped right into the scalding water of her shower. It was probably too hot for her but she could barely feel the burn of it on her skin.

Ino had almost died.

She was barely breathing by the time Kakashi took her in his arms and Hinata couldn't keep herself up and it was all her fault. If she hadn't been too busy talking to them, she would have noticed the signs on the trees that a large group had gone by. She should have paid more attention, she should have been faster, she should have been stronger.

The tears going down her cheeks mixed with the water from the showerhead and Sakura swallowed down her sobs.

It was no use crying about it. All she could do now was _better_. She had to be faster, she had to be stronger and if training until she collapsed was what it took, then she would do it.

She got out of the shower and started putting her uniform on.

Standard pants, standard long-sleeved blouse and her flak jacket. Her red dress was ruined and she knew, objectively, that it had always been too attention grabbing. Maybe ninja like Naruto could get away with it because he had enough raw power to protect himself but she certainly couldn't.

She put her hair into the same style of braid Ino had done the day before for her. Her weaving fingers weren't doing a job as tidy as Ino's expert ones had done, but it would do.

Sakura had got it all wrong when she cut her hair during the Chunin Exams. The problem wasn't that she kept her hair long, it was that she wasn't strong enough for it.

Other ninja, better ninja, had long hair. She'd seen Orochimaru and even Haku fighting, it had never been a hindrance to them. Besides, she liked that style so she would keep her hair in this braid until she had the skills to back it up.

She wrote a detailed report, gathered her weapons and left.

Sakura got to the Hokage tower as the sun was finishing its ascent in the sky. There was already a hustle of ninja coming and going from different levels and she got to the Hokage's office only after bumping on two different genin teams.

"Dismissed!" Sakura heard her say loudly from the other side of the door. The proctor who had overseen their Chuunin Exam, Mitarashi Anko, stepped out and gave her a nod before quickly exiting the building.

"Hokage-sama." Sakura stepped into the room.

"Haruno." Tsunade-sama folded her hands underneath her chin. "Do you have your report already?"

"Yes," Sakura handed the scroll to her.

She waited patiently until the Hokage finished reading it, dreading the response she would get every time the blonde scowled.

"You were attacked by Suna nin?" Tsunade raised her eyebrows.

"Temari assured me they weren't sent by the Kazekage," Sakura fidgeted her feet. "I, uh, I assumed I should take her word for it instead of letting it escalate into a war with Suna. Was I wrong…?" Sakura trailed of in uncertainty.

"No," the Hokage scoffed, "of course not."

After reading some more, she put the scroll down and stared at Sakura. It took a few minutes of unabashed staring for Sakura to get enough of it.

"Hokage-sama?" She asked as politely as she could.

"You did good, Haruno." The Hokage sighed. "This mission went better than I could've ever hoped for."

"Forgive me, Tsunade-sama, but you don't sound very happy about it…" Sakura looked at her with her head tilted slightly to the side in question.

The Hokage sighed again before running her fingers through her bangs.

"I need you to know that I wouldn't have asked you to do what you did." The blonde was looking at her intently, with a serious expression on her face but sad eyes. "In the past, age didn't really factor in the types of mission a shinobi took. Things got better, I suppose, ever since the ban on early graduation at the Academy but I know they aren't perfect."

"Godaime-sama." Sakura said firmly. "I'm sorry to interrupt you but I have to say this. Doing what my village needs is what is expected of me during missions. It's why I tried to use Shinsei's attention to our advantage. It's why I went back to those missing nin's hideout and… eliminated the threat to our client. I won't fail you, Hokage-sama."

"No…" Tsunade-sama pondered. "I don't believe you will, Haruno." She clapped her hands to the table suddenly. "Well! There's also that second part of the mission to consider. I believe Suna will send a message soon to let us know about the outcome of their nin's attack. Expect a summons anytime. Good work, Haruno, pass by the mission assignment desk to receive your payment, I'll upgrade it to a B-Rank because of the missing nin. Dismissed."

"Hokage-sama." Sakura bowed and left the room.

The first thing she did was run towards training ground 3 and start her workout session. She would need to go buy herself some new weights soon but for now she needed to let out some steam. Her left shoulder still strained while doing her exercises but she ignored it and powered through. Anything to get her mind off the hospital.

She went to training ground 12 after her set and was greeted by a green blur sailing through the air towards her.

"Sakura-san!" Lee exclaimed.

"Lee-san!" Sakura couldn't help the big smile on her face. "It's so good to—" Sakura saw a glint of steel from the corner of her eye and ducked instinctively.

"You think you can disappear for a week and come back just like that, Sakura?"

It was Tenten, standing on a tree branch and smiling happily at her. She was out of breath and Sakura realised that she had been practicing with Lee moments ago.

"Oh, you're on." Sakura threw a kunai back and jumped to her level. Tenten parried and soon they were fighting avidly, exchanging blows and cursing at each other. One thing Sakura had learned very early on in their training sessions was that the older girl had a surprisingly dirty mouth. At some point, Lee had jumped into the fray and they were suddenly doing an all-out battle royal.

By the time the sun was at its apex, the three of them were lying on the ground, sweat glistening on their bodies and out of breath.

"Fuck, it's hot." Sakura complained and Tenten burst out laughing.

"I knew it!" She threw her head back and laughed once more when she saw Lee's pink tinged cheeks. "I knew you would start seeing my way. It's useless to have so much decorum in the world of ninja. Cursing is good for the soul, kouhai."

"Tenten, I don't think that's the kind of influence a kouhai needs from their senpai!" Lee said frantically.

"Sorry, sorry." Tenten waved her hand unapologetically. "You only think it's that hot because you're wearing the full chuunin garb, Sakura. What's up with that?"

"I just don't think bright red is ideal for field work anymore." Sakura shrugged before wincing and stretching her arms up high.

"Well, yeah, sure." Tenten nodded. "That doesn't mean you have to go full standard uniform, you know. Maybe get at least a short-sleeved shirt?"

"Or you can get one of Gai-sensei's suits! They let the body breathe without letting water escape and it's great for—"

"Lee, I would rather be poked on my eye for the rest of my life than look like Gai-san." Sakura said bluntly and Tenten laughed again. "Sorry," she amended sheepishly, kind of afraid she had overstepped somehow.

"Don't be sorry, Sakura-san," Lee surprised her by chuckling. "I suppose the suit isn't for everyone."

"You don't need to call me Sakura-san, you know." Sakura smiled gently at him. "I may not want to date you but you're still one of my best friends. You can just call me Sakura, Lee."

Lee looked at her a bit dumbfounded for a moment before bursting into tears. He smiled greatly and started doing cartwheels around the field while screaming about youth and beauty and how being considered one of her best friends was probably the best thing that happened that month and that he should do five hundred push-ups to show his gratitude.

"Crap, I didn't mean to do that." Sakura whispered to herself and Tenten snorted. "Anyway, I'm off to buy some new clothes I guess." She sighed exaggeratedly and looked at her friend from the corner of her eye. "And some new weapons…"

Tenten immediately turned to look at her, a big smile on her face.

"Lee!" She called out while pulling Sakura to her feet. "We're going shopping! See you tomorrow!"

They took to the roofs and Sakura let Tenten lead her, knowing that she would probably know where the best stores were. Tenten didn't speak until they reached a faded yellow two-story shop, squeezed between two other equally old buildings. It was near the training grounds and about a fifteen-minute walk to the tower.

"Oji-san!" Tenten called as they entered, the bell on top of the door ringing loudly. "We have a customer!"

The place looked like a fight had gone on inside. There were several weapons hanging on the walls and many short aisles holding different types of items ranging from exploding tags to complex seals. A counter sat on the right and behind it a traditional painting of a red dragon.

An old man came out the back separated by a dark curtain, his hair was completely white and there were deep lines on his face but something about the way he held himself told Sakura he wasn't a frail old man. He narrowed his eyes.

"Let me guess." He raised an eyebrow at Tenten and looked back at her in assessment. "Sakura?"

"I—I mean, yes?" Sakura stared dumbfounded at him before looking at Tenten with wide eyes.

"Don't try to scare her off, Jiji." Tenten rolled her eyes at the man and turned around to jump behind the counter. She started rummaging around beneath the counter and her voice came out a bit muffled next. "This is Sakura. Sakura, this is Oji-san, he kind of adopted me when I got out of the Academy. This is where I live and this—" Tenten popped back up with two dark boxes in her hands. "Is what you're getting today."

Sakura stepped up to the counter and her jaw hung loose when Tenten revealed the items. It was the most beautiful tantō Sakura had ever seen. The sheath was completely black and had two tiny red lines running along both sides and the hilt was the same dark red wrapped in black cloth, letting only a few crimson diamonds show. There was a cleaning and maintenance kit next to it.

"Before you say anything, just try it on." Tenten held the hilt out for her and Sakura unsheathed it, revealing a black shinny blade. "High-carbon blackened steel," she said while Sakura did some of the moves the older girl had taught her, "perfect balance and practically weightless in your grip."

"Not bad for a beginner." Oji-san nodded at her, an appraising look on his face.

"Don't you love it?" Tenten asked before she could thank the old man.

"I do, but…" Sakura offered the blade back. "I don't have enough money for all of this and I still need to replenish my exploding tags stock and get some new, more practical clothes."

"Tenten's friends get ten percent off anything on the store." Oji-san shrugged. "You do that blade justice and I'll throw in another ten and a pack of exploding tags."

"Aaand," Tenten rounded the counter and took Sakura by the shoulders. "Lee and I already bought the cleaning kit for you."

"What?" Sakura exclaimed. "You shouldn't have! Why would you-"

"Sakura, you made _chuunin," _Tenten smiled at her, a big sunny smile. "We're proud of you and thought you should have something."

Unexpected tears sprung to Sakura's eyes. It looked like her promise to never cry again was going terribly wrong but it was so _nice_ hearing someone was proud of you. Her parents were distant and so focused on the family business. Whenever they did compliment her on something it was never on her ninja skills.

"Thank you, senpai." She smiled so brightly her cheeks hurt.

Tenten's cheeks coloured slightly and she smiled just as big. "I don't think I can be your senpai when you have a higher rank than me, Sakura."

"I still have a lot to learn from you!" Sakura insisted.

"Of course, you do!" Tenten brought her to the counter to pay. "We'll make you an expert in that tantō."

With her wallet considerably lighter and a promise to Oji-san to come back whenever she needed something, they left to a shinobi clothing store near the hospital. According to Tenten, the old woman who owned the place was the best at personalised clothing, that she was the one who did Gai's suits.

Sakura balked at that but Tenten rushed to assure her that her things were pretty and also fight resistant and that Gai and Lee's clothes were an abomination tailored to their liking.

Subaru-baa-san was half deaf and at least half her size. She had bright blue hair and a wicked tongue and she definitely had the best quality for shinobi garb even if she did insult Sakura's hair a lot. Sakura didn't really think the old woman could say anything about her hair given the colour she _chose_ to have was neon, but she shut up about it when she got fifty percent off just because Tenten said she'd been promoted.

Subaru-bassan was a kind woman despite her sharp edges.

Sakura left the shop feeling lighter, like she could jump into a battle and everything would just flow. She wouldn't have any clothes that billowed or restricted her movements and she would have a reliable weapon when her chakra reserves failed her.

Tenten had convinced her to buy five items—some standard issued pants that reached just past her knees and that she would have to bind, shorter thighs than she usually wore for when it got warm, a skin tight black shirt with no sleeves and a slightly raised neckline to wear under her flak jacket, knee high black boots that looked like they could survive the earth blowing up and still look good and she exchanged her normal genin sandals and only payed a few hundred ryo more for black ones with closed toes.

Sakura was very happy with her choices and had already changed into the shorts and tight shirt.

"What's on your mind?" Tenten looked her in the eye but quickly averted hers, kicking a pebble away. "Nevermind, forget I said anything. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." She gave a clearly forced laugh. "It's not like I'm any good at emotional talk, anyway."

"You're not making me uncomfortable, Tenten." Sakura gave a slight laugh of her own. "This is what friends do, right? Talk to each other?"

"I guess I'm just not used to having friends… especially female friends." Tenten's cheeks flushed prettily and she shrugged.

"You're doing great, Tenten." Sakura offered the girl a tiny smile before the thoughts that she had been pushing to the back of her mind resurfaced and it died shortly after.

"There _is_ something bothering you," Tenten said quietly. "You can tell me what it is, you know? It might help."

Sakura highly doubted that. She couldn't possibly say all the terrible, terrible thoughts running through her head out loud and if she ever did, she was positive there would be nothing Tenten could do to help her.

There was something, though, something that had been bothering her for a while and just after the disaster of her first leading mission could she pinpoint what it was. Ninja were pretty useless on the field with injured comrades.

That first mission to Wave showed how unprepared they were to deal with it and the Chunin Exams made it clearer but she had to feel it like this—visceral and bone deep—for it to make sense.

Ino could have died.

If Kakashi's team hadn't interfered, she would have died and it would have been Sakura's fault. Because it didn't matter that all the logical and analytical parts of her brain told her that she couldn't have done anything about the situation. Sakura had been team leader. Ino was her best friend. It _was _her fault.

"I was _useless_." Sakura said finally. "Completely, utterly, useless against my best friend bleeding to death. Why don't they teach basic medic ninjutsu to team leaders? Just imagine how much lower death rates would get and no one would ever have to go through—"

Go through what I have, was what she was thinking but the words wouldn't make it past her lips.

"You know, that was one of Tsunade-sama's main concern for Konoha." Tenten smiled brightly at the mention of her idol. "She actually brought up to the Sandaime a program for there to be an iryo-nin on every team, but he shut it down."

"What?" Sakura exclaimed. "Why would he do that?"

"Medic ninjutsu is very hard and not many people have the aptitude to stay at the hospital and learn it." Tenten shrugged. "Konoha would lose quite a few able-bodied field ninja."

"That's just plain stupid." Sakura whispered.

"Yeah, well." Tenten smiled brightly. "Let's hope that with Tsunade-sama as Hokage we can flush out all that testosterone out of Konoha and actually get things done right."

Sakura let out an unexpected bark of laughter.

"Amen, sister."

"Wait a second," Tenten stopped in her tracks. "Oh my God. That's it!"

"What?" Sakura asked hesitatingly, not particularly liking the excited look on her friend's face.

"You should ask Tsunade-sama to teach you medical ninjutsu!" Tenten exclaimed.

Sakura stared at the girl wide-eyed. Where had that come from?

"Yeah, right." Sakura scoffed.

"No wait, hear me out!" Tenten put her strong, calloused hands on Sakura's shoulders. "Have you ever thought why you were placed on Team Seven? I mean, really thought about it?"

"I was the only civilian who had enough good grades to graduate, Tenten, they needed someone to fill up Naruto and Sasuke's team."

"But it's more than that, Sakura." Tenten's face was serious and earnest. "Team Seven and all the other teams aren't random. They each carry something from their antecessors. The Will of Fire carries on."

Sakura frowned at the girl thoughtfully. She wasn't stupid. She had read Kakashi's file before and she knew he had been taught by the Yondaime. She also knew that the Yondaime himself had been taught by Jiraiya and now Jiraiya had taken Naruto out of the village to teach him.

Granted, Orochimaru had been cast out of Konoha and Sakura didn't figure someone had planned for him to teach any of them anything—she had long realised that Kakashi was meant to make Sasuke his apprentice of sorts—but Sasuke was still under his tutelage now, weather it was a good thing or not.

All members of Team Seven had gone on to learn from one of the Sannin. That left her Tsunade.

"I imagine your chakra control is pretty good." Tenten said.

"What?" Sakura looked at her completely surprised. How had she known that?

"That's why you were chosen for Team Seven, Sakura." Tenten's smile was so big it must have hurt. "You have enough chakra control to follow in Tsunade-hime's footsteps. You were always meant to be her apprentice."

An unexpected flare of anger cursed through Sakura. How dare they set her up like that? She had never wanted to be a med-nin. Who were they to say that she _had _to be the Godaime's apprentice? But then common sense came back to her and she felt a different type of energy coursing through her.

This was _good_. Being Tsunade-hime's apprentice, being the _Hokage_'s apprentice would change a lot of things for her, politically speaking. It would be just like having a clan backing her up if not better. Most importantly, she could learn how to keep her friends _safe_. She would never have to go through what she did the day before.

Before she could say anything else, a lone brown bird flew close to them, its yellow feet signalling its status as summoning bird. The Hokage was calling for her.

"Looks like the Hokage wants to speak to me too." Sakura murmured to Tenten.

_Hey, peeps, sorry about the wait, life has been INSANE this past few weeks. I wrote a lot (I'm currently about ten chapters ahead of this) but I just couldn't get into the mindset to sit down, edit and post... Sorry, but I rather take some time to myself and give you something good than post shitty chapters. Even if I'm not completely satisfied with this one... -.-' _

_This A/N is about to get LONG, so prepare yourselves._

_First things first, the name of the chapter! After quite a lot of freaking out on wondering just wtf I should name this chapter, I reread it for the 161421654th time and decided I should go with what this chapter is about. Ultimately, hidden behind a lot of angst and blushing Tenten's because Sakura is just so cute, it was about giving the MC something to inspire her to grow. A series of happenings is making Sakura go through despair and angstangstangst so she can build herself up and improve herself. Every main character in Naruto had that moment (Sasuke and the Uchiha Massacre, Kakashi and his team, etc) and even Sakura had hers (the Forest of Death) but the authors didn't follow through. So, yeah, this chapter is called Sakura Saku (Sakura Blossoms), the same name as the episode where Sakura cuts her hair and 'leaves behind' her childhood ways._

_Second! Did you guys like Kakashi's PoV? I personally hated it and you guys shouldn't expect another one of those for quite a while because our main boi is going to do his usual disappearing act, but I promise that he'll be back and, oh boy, am I excited for when that happens hihi_

_Third, I don't know! I didn't like this chapter at all and I thought that Ino and Hinata's wounds were a bit confusing? If anyone didn't get it, the first weapons thrown at them were coated in poison and that's why Ino has to stay longer at the hospital and why Hinata passed out when they got there (all the running making her blood pump faster and making the small amount of poison from the tiny cut she got spread faster). Sorry, about that but I literally couldn't look at this chapter anymore and had no idea of how to make that better._

_Now let's talk about Sakura. My sweet baby snapping at Kakashi at the begining was kind of harsh, but please bear in mind she's going through a lot, things are going to get VERY angsty with our main gurl, especially as she goes through the good ole teenage days. Imagine having to go through those hellish years of finding yourself while still coming to terms with the fact that her body was basically a tool for the village and turning into a killer. Sakura, with Inner's help, found a bit of a coping mechanism of shutting herself away from reality but it'll still have some consequences. The chapter itself, was supposed to represent that. In the begining, Sakura is worried/in shock, after hearing her Hokage's orders, then she shakes herself off and buries her emotions during her shower/putting her 'armor' on and we see her do a complete 180 while with Tenten. I hope that came through, I feel like a shitty writer._

_OKAY. I'M DONE. _

_Thank you so much for reviewing! You guys have no idea how happy it makes me and I'm sorry I couldn't get back to all of you, I'll try my best from this chapter onwards to reply to you guys as soon as I see the comments 3_


	8. Sakura no Ketsui

"Suna's council sent you a thank you letter and payment for an A-rank mission." Tsunade-sama said as soon as Sakura entered her office. "Under your mission records an ANBU-type has been added."

"What?" Sakura exclaimed before she could help herself.

The Godaime sighed.

"They don't really have a closed ANBU system like we do, just ANBU-type missions. For how you handled the first missing-nin that attacked you, successfully extracted information from them on field and then proceeded to exterminate their hideout, you now have a foreign ANBU status."

Tsunade-sama sounded resigned if a little surprised but Sakura couldn't focus on deciphering her Hokage's microexpressions. Suna ANBU-type missions? What would happen to her mission roster here in Konoha? Would she have to go to ANBU here now? She voiced her questions hurriedly, almost not registering the words out of her mouth.

"There will be certain changes," the Hokage's eyes softened with something like regret. "You are now on Suna's Bingo Book like all their ANBU-type ninjas are so you'll get a bit more recognition outside but I asked them to explicitly put your rank as chuunin in Konoha so your bounty shouldn't be high." She crossed her hands together. "Apart from a bonus, Konoha won't be changing anything more for you, Haruno. It's bad enough that you had to go through a mission like this so young, I don't want this to escalate into something else."

Sakura knew what that meant. Historically, civilian born ninja like her that manage to get people's attention were often scaled for more dangerous missions. Seduction missions, ANBU missions that were too suicidal to consider sending a clan kid. Lower branch's and civilians were the ones who most took missions like that and Sakura had just proved that she could do it.

Despite the Hokage's assurance, Sakura couldn't risk being lost to the system like that. She had to stay where she was and alive if she wanted to protect her friends. Whatever doubts and insecurities that clouded her mind were pushed to the side as she bowed low to her Hokage and spoke clearly.

"Godaime-sama, please teach me everything you know."

Sakura counted a minute before the Hokage asked, "Why?"

Still holding her bow, Sakura replied.

"I want to protect my friends. I _need _to protect them. I need to keep them safe and I can't do that if I don't have anyone to teach me how." Sakura remembered Tenten's words from earlier and hoped she didn't sound to cocky by repeating them. "I was the one with the best chakra control in my class, I can take anything you throw at me."

The words had been barely out of her mouth when her senses caught the telltale sounds of an object moving fast towards her. Sakura ducked instinctively and a second later the wall behind her cracked, a paperweight embedded in it so deeply it had almost run through. From the height of it, she was sure it would have hit her right on the forehead and the impact would have been enough to kill her.

Sakura also knew that the Godaime had barely used any strength at all.

"I don't waste my times with losers." Tsunade-hime's voice was as sharp as her gaze when Sakura turned back to her, forcing her muscles to relax and not to look like she was ready to attack her Hokage. "If I take you in, there will be no quitting. You won't stop until I say you're done, you won't rest until I say you can rest and I won't take anything less than your hundred percent focus and effort."

"Hai, Hokage-sama!" Sakura bowed even lower, her heart thumping so hard she felt like it could rip her ribcage open any second.

She couldn't believe this was actually happening. Tsunade-hime, the female Sannin, the Godaime Hokage had just taken her in as a student. Sakura, the civilian nobody was going to be under the tutelage of this goddess of a woman.

"Call me Shishou." Tsunade sighed. "Maa, I really thought you would've asked me this earlier. I guess I owe Shizune now."

"Eh?" Sakura straightened her back to look at the blonde.

"The Hatake brat had suggested me to take you as an apprentice as soon as I got to the village." Tsunade shrugged. "He said you had the right skills and temperament for a med-nin."

"Oh," Sakura said.

It was somewhat surprising to hear that. Kakashi had never shown a particular interest in teaching her much of anything, she never would have thought that he would go as far as recommend her to one of the greatest kunoichi of all times. It was kind of overwhelming, the thought, and it kind of made her feel like a jerk for how she had yelled at him before.

"Why didn't you come sooner?" Tsunade asked her.

"I—I don't know," Sakura stuttered, unsure of how to deal with such a powerful woman's full undivided attention. "I never thought _you_ would accept me as an apprentice. I'm just a civilian kid with no extraordinary skills to speak for…"

"Sakura," Tsunade barked, her beautiful features contorted into a deep frown. "When I accepted you as my apprentice in meant more than teaching you medical ninjutsu. It means teaching you everything I know, from combat skills to healing skills to political training. It means passing on my Will of Fire to you and I won't have my legacy be a quivering mess of a girl with low self-esteem."

Sakura could only gape at her. She was so surprised by the outburst that she could barely muster any indignation.

"From now on you will bow to no one. You will speak your mind and act like my apprentice, do you understand?"

"Hai, Shishou!" Sakura had enough presence of mind not to bend her back but she still nodded her head to her master. "I will not disappoint you."

"You haven't so far." The corner of Tsunade's lips lifted almost imperceptibly. "Your training begins now. Head towards the Hospital and find Shizune. Tell her you need access to medical tomes, she'll know which ones to give you. Next Saturday I will quiz you on what's on those books and if you pass, we'll begin the real training. Dismissed!"

By Thursday, Sakura was already bored out of her mind.

She had taken the medical tomes Shizune—the dangerous, soft-spoken woman that always accompanied the Hokage—had given her and read them all methodically. She worked out a nice little routine for herself and stuck to it until she could recite the new material on physiology and chakra manipulation by heart.

Sakura woke up every day to do the advanced workout Lee had set for her. Then she spent her morning reading and taking notes on the gigantic books. She had a pre-lunch spar with Tenten whenever they could and if the girl wasn't available, Sakura would bring flowers to Ino's bedside.

During the afternoons she would read some more before doing a late-night training session before bed. She also may or may not have spent a few sleepless nights on her books.

She couldn't help it if they were _amazing. _

Not only was it a completely new subject for her, which always excited her, the complexity of it appealed to the part of her that liked solving problems. It was incredible to discover just _how much_ chakra could do.

It was reading Medical Ninjutsu Volume 1 that she found out she might have a problem in the future. The part of moulding her chakra and tuning it to other people's sounded hard but doable, what she feared most was that she wouldn't have enough chakra for it.

Her chakra reserves were average _at best_ and she would be completely useless in the battlefield if she wasted all her chakra healing someone.

She had to do something about it. She just didn't know what. So Sakura did what she always did when she was stuck and didn't know what to do. She went to the library.

The genin at the desk directed her to a section of books on chakra theory and left her there. It was a bit of a stretch, she knew, but she refused to think that being born a civilian could cripple her so much.

Lee was doing fine, she reminded herself. But then Inner whispered, _Lee doesn't use chakra, _and she felt her hopes plummet.

Sakura didn't know how long she stood there, staring blankly at a page that could have been written in ancient codes for all she got from it. She couldn't let this bring her down. She _wouldn't_. Not when she had come so far.

Not when she had already bloodied her hands and used her body to get her where she was.

With renewed energies and a bitter sense of determination, Sakura powered through the books. When it was midnight and the library was closing, she booked out the two remaining tomes and left.

The track to her house was long, she had to go past all the central Konoha where most ninja lived to get to where the street market was and where most civilians gathered around. But Sakura barely noticed anything around her. Her feet guided her truthfully and left her eyes free to glide over the words and consume them like they were the air she needed to breathe.

"Sakura!" She heard her dad's voice just before his arms enveloped her. "We were so worried! Where have you been, young lady?"

Young lady, the words echoed in her head, as if she was five years old again and caught sneaking an umeboshi out of her mum's kitchen. As if she hadn't had a man's life on her hands and his last words be ones of spiteful hate because she had _tortured_ him. As if she didn't know the feeling of having her best friend's blood covering her.

"Are you listening to me, Sakura?" Her mum had joined her dad in scolding her and she could vaguely remember being ushered inside the house. "Just because you are the Hokage's apprentice now doesn't mean you don't have to obey us still. You will be home every day by nine o'clock, young lady, or you will be sorry!"

"Just because I'm the Hokage's apprentice?" Sakura felt Inner taking over before she could so much as try and make sense of what was going on. "Why can't you understand how big a thing that is? Why can't you see how important it is for me? I need to dedicate myself as her student, okaa-san!"

"I'm not saying you don't but when it comes down to it, you're still a thirteen-year-old girl and my daughter!" Her mum exclaimed while her dad crossed his arms from behind her and they both stared her down.

"By the laws of Konoha I'm already an adult, mother!" Sakura glared at them, righteous anger coursing through her veins.

"While you're sleeping under our roof, you'll follow our rules." Her father finally spoke, staring down at her seriously. "Nine o'clock."

With an infuriated cry, Sakura threw her hands in the air and stormed up the stairs to her room. She didn't know how to deal with this.

She had always been the perfect daughter, never stepping the slightest bit out of line. The only thing Sakura could ever remember doing for herself and not because it was expected of her was entering the Academy, starting her career as a ninja, but even then, her parents had to sign a consent form.

She knew they had hoped she would quit the first time she took a punch to the face. That they still hoped she would give up being a ninja, especially now that Team 7 had disbanded. They had been counting on her giving up from the moment they signed the sheet when she was six years old.

What they didn't know was that she learned how to take a punch. In the Forest of Death she had taken hit after hit and still clung on to her enemy with sheer force of will, the same one she had seen in Naruto and admired so much.

She had learned from Sasuke that solitude only meant she would have more time to focus on her skills and Kakashi had taught her the importance of a team.

Sakura would fight for her boys until the bitter end. She would get strong enough to lift them both on her shoulders and carry the weight of their past for them. She would be there when they needed her to lean on and for that she couldn't let something as petty as a squabble with her parents get to her.

The answer to her problem came to her so suddenly, she almost fell out of bed with the force of her gasp.

Naruto's sunny face brought to mind not only his determination but his signature move. Kage Bunshin.

He had taken the one thing he just couldn't manage and _mastered _it and Sakura would do the same.

The books she had read so far seemed to be in a consensus that the easiest way to grow your chakra reserves, especially for someone her age, was to deplete them consistently. The clone would half her chakra immediately and she would still be able to work in some chakra control when trying to use as little as possible while creating and maintaining one.

She wondered how long she could keep a clone functioning and how far she could send it.

With an excited grin, Sakura formed the seals and focused her chakra. Exactly half of what she had, no more, no less. She wouldn't spend a single drop of it more than necessary.

"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"

It was with a low 'pop' that an exact replica of her jumped into existence. No smoke, no loud noise. She had done it.

"Yes!" She pumped her fist in the air before doing a shimmy. She couldn't believe it had actually worked. The focus she needed to maintain her clone was practically non-existent from this close, now she had to test out how far she could stretch their connection. "Walk slowly in the direction of the training fields, keep to the shadows."

Her clone blinked at her. "And what do you expect me to do until you lose your focus?"

Huh. It seemed her clone had an attitude. That was oddly offending.

"Take a book with you, brat." Sakura crossed her arms in front of her and her clone sent her a deadpan look before grabbing the last tome she had yet to read. It was a look that told Sakura exactly what the clone thought of her cursing at herself. "Go on, then."

"Roger that!" Her clone saluted her mockingly before jumping out of her window, the soft sound of her feet hitting the ground echoing loudly for Sakura. She hoped her parents didn't hear anything.

Sakura sat on her bed and closed her eyes. It was easy so far to keep her chakra steady and fluid enough to maintain her clone but she knew the further away it got from her, the harder it would be. She picked up her book and went back to her reading.

It was hard work, keeping her focus both on what she was reading and on her chakra fluctuations. She usually would have read at least a few chapters by now but her clone had almost left her neighbourhood and it was increasingly hard to keep it up.

She was sweating now. Her breath was laboured and she could barely read the words on the paper anymore. Reaching so far was _hard. _

The moment her clone stepped into the main street, she almost lost her hold of it. She could feel it immediately taking a step back, the connection not as strained, before it gradually loosened until her clone was climbing through the window. With another quick salute, the clone popped out of existence and the book it was holding, fell to the floor with a thud that echoed inside her head.

Sakura gasped with the intensity of information coming back to her. She tipped to the side and stayed still as her vision blurred with past and present sensations.

She could feel the ground beneath the soles of her sandals and she could feel the cool breeze of the night but most of all she could see all the words of the chakra control book her clone had been reading. The way she processed things and thoughts made sure the words and the meaning behind them were forever ingrained in her brain but having them coming back to her as they were, so fast, was like a thousand punches to her head.

Sakura gasped for a few moments, her eyes scrunched closed and head pounding before it dawned on her.

Her clone's experiences had come back to her. If she could manage to keep it up for long enough, even if only for more than half an hour, she would be able to increase her learning capacity. It would also be the best chakra control exercise she could do without the fear of potentially harming herself, especially because she had no one to oversee this kind of training.

The downside of all this, at the moment, was that while her clone had been able to focus on her book normally, Sakura herself had at least halved her concentration. So far, the experiment was useless because even if she did double her learning capacity for the ten minutes it took her clone to reach her limits, her own capacity dropped drastically.

So maybe, for now, it would be best if she didn't focus her training on sending her clone further away. Maybe she could start with something small while she read the materials Tsunade-shishou sends her. Something like tree walking.

"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!" Sakura said, focusing yet again to use exactly half her chakra reserves.

Her clone appeared with a pop and echoed her grin. She now had a little less than a fourth of her chakra reserves.

"Yosh." Sakura got up from her bed and pointed at the wall her bed was leaning against. "Sit down on it and read as much as you can. When you start feeling sleepy, do some sit ups without breaking the connection with the wall."

"Hai!" Her clone jumped straight to the wall and sat down just as she told it to.

Sakura took a few steadying breaths before doing the same. It was harder to do this than she expected but after a while of matching her chakra flow to her clone's and attaching herself to the wall, she managed to fall into some sort of meditative state that made it easier to read the words on her book.

The chakra control took a place on the back of her head while she read and before she knew it, three hours had passed. Her chakra levels had dropped so much she had barely any to stay sitting like she was and she simply left the connection go, falling to her bed in an exhausted heap.

She released her clone almost as an afterthought and with a gasp, received its experiences. Naturally, it was all too much and before Sakura could even comprehend what had happened, she passed out.

_Yo! I'm back. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Life is going to get a bit harder pretty soon because I'm back at looking for places to rent and better paying jobs while catching up on my assignments and my mom is visiting me soon BUT I was thinking for quite some time of setting up a posting deadline for myself. So, you guys can expect a new chapter every second and last weekend of the month, roughly. As I go along, I'll try to update more often, especially the next few chapters which will be very training heavy and which will contain quite a few time jumps. I know those can get confusing if updates are too far between, so let me know if you have any questions, 'kay?_

_Btw, chapter's title comes from the anime episode Sakura's Determination._

_I can't express in words how your reviews/kudos/bookmarks make me happy. Truly._

_I don't know if many of you follow me on Tumblr (s-scorpiusmlfy) but there was a comment there that just made me break down crying in the middle of the tram, it was ridiculous, but that's how you guys make me feel. This chapter was dedicated to you amibadwolf and all the people who left me a comment and made me smile on shitty days._

_s2_


	9. How to be an Iryo-nin 101

_Hello, lovelies! I'm really sorry for how long this took but life has been crazy! The next update will be around mid June bc by then, I'll be back home! Thank you so much for all the continuous support, you guys are truly the best 3_

"Sakura!" Her mum banged on her door. "There's a chunin in my living room saying he can only leave with you. Hokage's orders apparently."

Sakura blinked blearily at her ceiling and tried to situate herself. It was always dishoriating waking up after passing out and she could still feel a faint throb to her head when she moved to get up.

Yesterday had exceeded all expectations she had. Working with a clone had opened her eyes to so many new ways she could improve herself. She could use it to hone her chakra control and expand her reserves but there was _so much more_. She could use it to spar with herself and double her learning speed and never depend on anyone else. Not to mention the thousand of ways using a clone with perfect control could be useful during a mission.

"Sakura!" The annoyance in her kaa-san's voice was clear and just what she needed to get a move on.

"I'm coming!"

Sakura jumped around her room, putting on the lighter version of her uniform quickly and arming herself with all the weapons she regularly used, taking care to hide a few. She didn't know what to expect of the summoning.

She did a quick check to make sure she had an emergency backpack ready before going downstairs.

"Kotetsu!"

"Yo." The man raised his chin in greeting and regarded her with an amused expression on his face. "Are we going to war?"

"We're going to Tsunade-shishou, right?" Sakura grinned at him, his easygoingness a fresh start to her day.

"Good point." Kotetsu saluted her mother who had been watching with a sour expression on her face. "C'mon, kid. We don't have all day."

"Bye, okaa-san." Sakura sent a strained smile towards her mother's general direction and left, quickly pulling her fellow chūnin behind her.

He looked at her with a curious expression and Sakura knew he had picked up on the awkward tension between them. Kotetsu didn't say anything, though, only took to the roofs with her and chattered away about the latest gossips until they reached the Hokage tower.

Shizune was hurrying out of her office when they got there and she barely smiled in their direction before moving on, a pile of scrolls on her arms. They entered the office without knocking.

"Kotetsu!" Tsunade threw a scroll at the man who caught it easily. "You and Izumo are to meet Gai at the gates for your next mission. B-rank, anything you need to know is inside that scroll. Dismissed."

"Uh, hai, Tsunade-sama…" Kotetsu blinked dazedly at Sakura, reeling a bit from the woman's abruptness before he shook himself and turned to leave. "See you soon, Sakura."

"Good luck!" Sakura waved at him.

"Sakura." Tsunade's voice was as sharp as her gaze. "Shizune told me she gave you all the books you needed to read before Saturday. You've read them all already?"

"Yes, shishou." Sakura nodded. "I'm a fast reader. I'm working on another set of books now on chakra."

"Chakra?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow and put her chin on top of her linked hands.

"Chakra control, chakra manipulation and how to increase chakra reserves," Sakura said shyly, trying not to sink into herself as the Hokage waited for her to continue. "I figured it would be useless to learn how to do medical ninjutsu if I didn't have enough chakra to back it up. Falling into a chakra coma during a battle doesn't seem like a good idea."

"Iryo-nin are trained to use the least amount of chakra they can to heal a comrade," Tsunade challenged.

"I know." Sakura squared her jaw and took a deep breath to steady herself. She knew her shishou was testing her resolve. "But I have a civilian background against me. Right now I feel confident I can do simple techniques without spending any unnecessary chakra but medical ninjutsu is a thousand times harder than what I'm practicing on. I'm also at the edge of the ideal age for increasing one's chakra reserves, I figured it wouldn't hurt to try."

"What you're practicing on…" Tsunade trailed off, raising both her eyebrows in a sign for Sakura to keep going.

"Shadow clones." Sakura cleared her throat. "_A_ shadow clone, to be more specific. I'm using it to empty my chakra reserves in a controlled way, I can stay safe while also training myself in actual chakra control by making it go further away from me. Then I realised I could actually double my results by using the clone's experiences, you know? So I put the whole training it to go further away on the backburner while I have reading materials but once I get on to practicing, I'll definitely go back to that. But, you know, right now, the whole doubling my reading/learning capacity is a pretty huge thing don't you think?"

Sakura stared wide eyed at the Hokage who stared right back at her.

"Shadow clone."

"Yes."

A beat of silence.

"That's very clever, Sakura." A teasing smile Sakura had never seen curled on her painted lips. "And also very sly of you."

"I didn't mean to—"

"No, this is good. Short cuts like these are going to give you the edge you need to reach your teammates level. Your barely average chakra reserves _are _a problem and working on enhancing them and on how to lower your expenditure to a minimum is a great idea." Tsunade's smile turned sharper. "Good job, Sakura."

Sakura went to bow but at the last minute remembered herself and ended up giving a weird nodd of her head instead.

"Thank you, Tsunade-shishou."

"Now that you read all the books, I think it's time for your test." Tsunade clasped her hands together and leaned back on her chair. She opened a drawer and took out a piece of paper and a pencil. "I was going to give you a full week to memorise everything but I'm curious about your progress so far. Let's begin. Draw one human body for all the main systems, organs, veins, chakra. We'll do the quiz based on them."

Sakura drew them slowly but surely, her mind easily projecting an image of what she needed. She had studied everything carefully and Tsunade had started off with easy questions but the further they got into the questionnaire, the harder it was to answer.

At first it was strictly about the contents of the books but then Tsunade-shishou started asking about specific scenarios for specific types of surgeries and even moved on to creating fighting scenarios in which she had to perform on field aid.

You have three teammates, one of them has a broken femur, the other a stab to the gut and the last is unconscious for an unknown reason. The enemy is still able to fight. What do you do?

Your teammate can't walk because of a broken leg and you're outnumbered. What do you do?

You got separated from your team by the enemy and won the fight but is injured. You don't know your teammates condition or where they are. What do you do?

At first, Sakura floundered at these what-do-you-do questions but after a while, she got the hang of it, answering with what she thought was the most logical course of action.

"Well," Tsunade got up from her chair and went around the table to lean against it. "You got all the theory questions right, somehow. That's good. A solid base it's what makes a good medic." She didn't spare a single smile her way before continuing. "However, you failed all the scenario questions."

Sakura gaped at her, shame colouring her cheeks. How could she have gotten them all wrong?

"I—I'm sorry, shishou." Sakura bowed low, hoping so fervently this didn't mean she had lost her apprenticeship that she felt it in her veins.

Tsunade's warm hands settled on either side of her shoulders and straightened her up.

"What did I say about bowing, girl?" She leaned down a bit so they were eye to eye. "You got it all wrong because it doesn't matter what you answer here, safe behind these four walls. Being a combat medic in real life doesn't equate only to what injuries you have to take care of and how many enemies there are around you. Rules mean very little on the battlefield and that is something you'll only learn by practicing. It won't happen for a while, but you still need to be prepared for the reality of it. Do you get it?"

Sakura did. She really did. She had seen during her first C-rank how everything goes wrong so fast. Had learned first hand that the Shinobi Rule Book couldn't be followed completely to the letter. The battlefield _was _different from learning about things in the Academy.

"Yes, shishou." Sakura replied quietly, the heaviness of her short experiences suddenly laying hard on her shoulders.

"Maa." Tsunade clapped her shoulders hard enough to bruise. "I think it's time I teach you what every medic-nin learns during their first lesson. How to bring a fish back to life."

Sakura had read on that exercise thoroughly and was fairly confident she could do it but her stomach still rolled a bit with nerves.

Tsunade-shishou explained it once again for her while they waited for Shizune to come back with a large bowl of water with a fish in it. Sakura was handed a scroll and a brush to do the healing seal herself and was pleased that it passed Shizune's inspection.

"Good sealing skill," the older woman said with a kind smile. "You have steady hands."

Sakura felt her cheeks heat. It felt good to be praised, even if for something simple.

The fish exercise was harder than she expected it to be. She knew every single detail and step to it, had read it and knew exactly what to do—insert your chakra into the fish's network, get it to stimulate the fish's own dying chakra back into motion to bring it back—but it still took her most of the morning just trying to insert her chakra into its network. It also didn't help that Tsunade-shishou kept asking questions in between the mountain of paperwork she was taking care of.

"What are you doing now, Sakura?"

"Inserting my chakra very carefully, shishou."

"Yes, but why so carefully?"

"I don't want to fry his tiny chakra system up with large quantities of my chakra."

"Why work on a dead fish?"

"Small animals have simpler chakra systems, it makes it easier for chakra insertion."

"What else?"

"It needs to be dead so I can practice coaching its chakra into movement through its coils again. It's a similar experience to the one iryo-nin do on patients. We have to tune our chakra frequency to our patients, a more difficult task than this one but similar enough."

Sakura didn't take a break when lunchtime came around. She stuffed an onigiri Shizune brought right into her mouth and didn't even finish chewing it before going back to work. She was sweating a lot and she knew her chakra levels wouldn't handle much more but she still kept at it.

The first time she felt her chakra enter the fish's network she almost jumped around in joy. Somehow, she managed to keep still and focused. Her chakra felt heavy compared to the feeling of the fish's chakra so she instinctively reduced the flow she was sending into it, trying to make it as light and airy as the one beneath her hands.

The seals on the scroll helped her focus and pretty soon, she found herself deep into some kind of meditative place where she used her chakra as a guide. She could feel everything with it. It was so palpable, so real beneath her hands she could practically _see_ it.

The fish's chakra network was almost empty, only a single thread circled around it so slowly it almost looked like it wasn't circling at all but it was enough for Sakura to know which direction to go.

Her first attempt was so careful and small she could barely feel any difference. She tried again, increasing her chakra influx and speed by exactly 5% at each try. When she got to her third attempt, the fish took a gasping breath and started debating against the floor.

Sakura opened her eyes, not even realising she had closed them, and turned to look at her shishou and Shizune. Her smile fell quickly when she saw the looks on their faces.

"There was no green light." Shizune gaped at her. "But the fish is alive."

"Did I do something wrong?" Sakura asked hesitantly.

Tsunade gave a quiet, disbelieving laugh before shaking her head.

"No, Sakura. You just managed to perform the first task with precisely no chakra wasting. What Shizune is so surprised about is that your hands didn't emit any green chakra, common when a med-nin uses healing chakra. What most people don't know is that it is only a visual manifestation of the chakra the user is spending but the body isn't absorbing. You inserted the necessary amount of chakra into the fish's system and only the slightest bit escaped. The only thing glowing green was your palm and even then it was very little."

"Oh," Sakura said dumbly.

"But how…" Shizune was still staring at her with wide eyes and Sakura couldn't keep her cheeks from flushing again.

"Sakura must have better chakra control than we previously thought." Tsunade rummaged around her drawers for a bit before finding a yellow, scrunched up piece of paper. "Come here girl."

Sakura went to her desk, her steps a bit cautious when she caught the excited expression on the Hokage's face.

"This is an old test for chakra control. It's quite simple, just insert your chakra into the paper and try to smooth it out." Tsunade put it on top of her desk and reached for Sakura's hands to put them over the small piece of paper.

Sakura was a bit thrown by the quick turn of events but still did as she was told. She spread her hands carefully over the paper and did the same steps she had taken with the fish. The paper obviously didn't possess any chakra network but it seemed like it welcomed her chakra easily, so she figured it was made from a chakra paper.

Its lack of resistance made it easy for Sakura to spread the tiniest amount of chakra around to see what she could do. Just like she had felt the fish before, she could feel every plane and crease of the paper. She could see it even with her eyes closed.

Sakura didn't really have a guideline to follow on this one but decided to take a risk and force the chakra she had introduced into it to the crease closest to the bottom left edge. She focused her efforts on flattening the highest part of the crease, using the table beneath it as a guide.

It was slow, tedious work and by the end of it, Sakura was sweating so much she had sweated through her sleeveless shirt but she was gratified when she opened her eyes and found the yellow paper completely straight on the table.

"Right." Tsunade laughed sharply when she turned the paper around to look at some red markings on the back. "A ninja who has above 70% is considered to have good enough chakra control to become a medic-nin. The usual rate that anyone can enhance on the chakra control department during medical training is about 2%. You, Sakura, have precisely 97,3% control over your chakra as you are right now. That means…"

Shizune continued for her in a shocked whisper. "That means that by the time you're done with your training you'll have about 99,3% control." She gave a disbelieving laugh. "This is amazing."

"Do you have enough chakra to make a clone?" Tsunade asked her, a sharp gleam to her eyes.

"Hai, shishou." Sakura formed the seal and focused on using exactly half of her chakra. It was with its usual soft pop that her clone appeared.

"Amazing!" Shizune smiled at her. "Not a single bit of smoke and very little sound. This could be very useful during covert missions."

"Indeed," Tsunade agreed, "but it can also be a hinder. Sometimes during direct combat missions, you can hide surprise elements with the smoke from a clone. Can you try doing it?"

Sakura nodded at her shishou and focused herself with a seal again. It was actually harder to release more chakra than necessary after getting used to setting herself on a strict hold but she managed it. She released exactly 3% more than she would normally do and watched in satisfaction as a clone burst into existence with a cloud of smoke that was slightly bigger than the ones she had seen from Naruto.

"Excellent. Tomorrow we will start on scrapes." Tsunade smiled at her. "Training you will be fun."

Sakura had it in herself to feel happy to hear that but her shishou's voice sounded distant to her. She registered the sky outside and how night had fallen, she noticed the village had quieted and that the tower was almost silent but Sakura couldn't react anymore. All she could do was give the tiniest of smiles before passing out.

_I'll let you guys know in advance, this is going to be a long ass rant and probably a bit too salty for some. _

_Oh-kay! First things first, thanks for everyone who pointed out last chapter about the book! I'm writing very much in advance and, because I don't have a Beta, when I go back to the chapters to post them I basically edit grammar and typos. I actually had a reason for the book to have been dropped by the clone but changed my mind while I was writing (the character who was supposed to pick it up is only going to make an appearance later on in the story) and when I went back to it, it just completely slipped my mind. My bad. _

_ABOUT SHADOW CLONES: You guys have been wonderful for the most part but some people were really bothered by it (and one in particular was even pretty rude about it) so I thought I'd do some explaining. In the series, and I'm saying this bc I did go back and checked the episodes and spent countless of hours on Naruto Wiki, doing shadow clones is supposedly a jounin-level technique. Doing the taju kage bunshin (the one Naruto does) is a forbidden jutsu because just imagine how fucked up life would be if people could just conjure massive armies on the go. Anyways, I call bullshit. We see Kakashi telling Naruto that he's the only person in the village that could successfully use the clones for learning and that even he had problems with it and could only have a few for a few hours…. uhm, okay? So, you're telling me that Tsunade with her crazy chakra control and massive chakra reserves couldn't do it? What makes a jutsu difficult, by the way, because I find it hard to believe that Naruto would ever be able to do something Tsunade couldn't (at least before he became the op idiot we all love). For me that was all because Naruto is about, well, Naruto, and a lot about the show has to be, you know, about him. Making him special is a necessity. _

_So yeah, while it makes sense that people wouldn't be able to make taju kage bunshin, it makes no sense that someone with excellent chakra control and bullheaded determination like Sakura couldn't do it. My take on Kage Bunshin is based on the academy level clones and their difference. They're more a genjutsu than anything, they can't take any hits whereas naruto's kage bunshin can take some hits before disappearing. The better chakra control, the more corporeal the clone and the bigger chakra reserves (meaning, the more chakra gets put into the clone seeing as kage bunshin supposedly take half of your chakra) the more clones you canmake. _

_There's also another aspect of the jutsu which is the whole memories (and chakra) come back to the user once its dispelled. To put it simply, it makes no fucking sense. Chakra just doesn't magically travels the atmosphere back to the user without a conduit and for there to be a conduit, there has to be a thread linking the user to the clone, you feel me? Keeping that thread and extending it has got to take some control and I have no explanation as to why Naruto can do it when he's told time and time again that he has terrible chakra control. The only way I can explain it without chucking it up to plothole/inconsistencies is that some things (like the rasengan and all the op moves Naruto has) requires chakra control and others (like medical ninjutsu and shit) requires more chakra finesse. Yeah, I dunno either. _

_My whole point in this fic, however, is going to be a fix-it for Sakura (and to some extent Tsunade and the other girlies). What if Kishimoto wasn't a misogynistic bastard and actually followed through with female characterisation? You said Tsunade is a baddass bitch who takes shit from no one? You bet your ass that's going to be 100% how she acts. You said Sakura can pick up tree walking on her first try? Oh, darling, you just get ready for what more she'll be able to do. _

_So yea, this fic is an AU, things are going to be based on but ultimately different from cannon and I hope you guys are okay with that!_

_This is probably one of my last rants on this story, you guys! I feel like the more I write here, the less I'm being a good writer, you know? I don't know! What do you guys think? Vote on the comments, please, if you like big rants or ir you'd rather read them on Tumblr or smth…_

_Hope you all have a lovely day!_


	10. Okaeri

_Surprise!_

_Last chapter was shorter than usual and you guys have been wonderful, so I worked hard to get this out before my trip to Japan! _

_Quick warning for PTSD right at the beginning but this is actually the last warning that I'm going to put on this fic, be it for sexual content or blood/gore/panic attacks/PTSD. I don't really believe in the whole constant trigger warning thingy everybody seems to be doing because I think it takes a lot out of our experience as a reader. That being said, I do understand there is a need for it so here it is. Last warning for anybody that might be triggered by reading those kind of things, unfortunately this story isn't for you._

_Enjoy :)_

Sakura woke up in her bed.

For a moment she was so disoriented that her lungs constricted painfully and her heart sped up. She couldn't move or breathe too loudly because what if she was _attacked._ She couldn't remember how she got there. At all. But suddenly she had to get up and _fight._

Sakura felt chakra moving through her muscles as she sprung out of bed and grabbed the kunai she always kept at her bedside table after her first mission as a chuunin. She immediately put her back to the wall and sank to a crouch to assess the situation and analyse the enemy. One heartbeat, two heartbeats.

There was no one there.

Slowly, as if coming out from underwater, she blinked away the haze of panic and sunk shakily to the ground. Her hands cradled her head where she felt sweat drenching her hair and only after a few deep, shuddering breaths she felt she could breathe again.

She didn't know what had just happened, but she felt like she had been pummeled by that oto-nin in the Forest of Death all over again. She felt like shit, as Tenten would say.

Sakura dragged herself to the shower and contemplated how she had woken up in her bed. The ice cold water shocked her senses enough to drive back the panic she felt even further to the back of her mind where Inner neatly locked it away.

Tsunade-shishou must have asked someone to carry her home.

Waking up like that had shaken her up and Sakura could only be grateful no one had been there with her but she had to put it behind her. There were many new things happening in her life to which she had to give her full attention. Tsunade had mentioned something about starting with scrapes and Sakura wanted to feel excited.

From the women's reaction to her focus and abilities, Sakura had impressed them. Really impressed _them_. The _Hokage_ and one of the best med-nin in the continent. Sakura had done that.

After being belittled and left to the sidelines so many times during her short career, having their approval meant so much. Being the first one of the Rookie 9 to become a chuunin had felt good but it was so great to feel recognized by her hard work and she just _knew_ she could do much more. She would show them, these two beautiful women who believed in her, she would show them just how much she could do.

Sakura was _exhausted. _

She had no other words to describe the feeling in her bones that made her drag her feet home every night long after the sun had set. Her days began at the crack of dawn and only ended when she had done everything Tsunade-shishou asked of her plus Lee's workout routine—she had to keep improving her strength and speed, afterall.

Sakura only had time to meet Tenten and Lee about two times a week to train together and she only got to see Ino—who had healed nicely enough to go back to missions—about once a month for tea at their favourite place by the Hokage tower.

She hadn't actually seen either of her parents for about a week now. She would always leave before they woke up and by the time she got home they were long asleep.

The past six months had been nothing but work and it was _rough_ to keep up the pace.

Sakura entered her room quietly through the window, just like she had been doing for the past month after another fight with her parents about coming home late.

Ever since the mission in Wave her parents had shown themselves less inclined to accept her career of choice. Most of the time they were neutral about it but every so often a comment or another would slip by showing just exactly what they thought of her being a kunoichi.

They had hopes she would join the Genin Corps soon and start showing interest in the family business but every step Sakura took was one step away from what they wanted for her. Her dad had been hounding her for a while to take a vacation with her great aunt to the Flame Capitol to learn the trades of the business like he did when he was her age. It took some careful maneuvering and more complex evading techniques than she was expecting to escape his attempts.

Sakura jumped on her windowsill skillfully and immediately came face to face with both her parents sitting on her bed. They eyed her seriously through the glass and she had half a second of considering running away back to the training grounds before she resigned herself to the fight ahead of her.

They would only get madder if she ran.

"So this is why we never hear you come in." Haruno Kizashi raised a half amused, half scorning eyebrow at her and Sakura felt the full weight of it. But it had nothing on her mother's silent, impartial glance.

"What are you doing here?" Sakura glanced between the two of them before she noticed her bags were on the floor. Packed and ready to go.

"The better question is why weren't you in your room, I believe." Her dad's voice was accusing and it immediately raised her hackles. "You were supposed to be in bed."

"Kizashi," her okaasan's voice was strict as always. "We don't have time for this, it's late."

Her father sighed but nodded his head in agreement. "We are leaving in the morning to visit the clan in Hinote no Shuto."

Sakura blinked at them in confusion before realising they had packed her bags for her, assuming she would go without even consulting her.

"I can't leave my training, otou-san." Sakura frowned at him, fighting the impulse to cross her arms.

"This isn't up for debate, Sakura." His voice was serious and his expression closed off but what threw her off was the lack of endearment when using her name. Her dad always called her Sacchan.

Sakura stared silently at them both, horror downing on her when she realised what she had to do. Her parents didn't _understand_. They didn't get just how important it was to be the Hokage's apprentice or just how much effort she was putting in being a kunoichi. They didn't get what it _meant _to her.

And she was heading straight into another fight with them. The problem was she didn't want that. Not really. Her righteous anger had left her a while ago, all the training she had been doing leaving no room for anything else but exhaustion.

She didn't have it in her to fight with them. Yes, because she was tired of it, but mostly because she knew that nothing would come of it. She couldn't change the way they saw her and she wouldn't be persuaded to leave so that only left her with one option.

Sakura huffed a breath and relaxed her shoulders to show dejection. She rubbed her eyes before looking back at her parents.

"Fine, I'll be ready tomorrow morning." She looked them in the eye briefly before heading towards the bathroom. "I'll see you at breakfast."

She took one last look at her parents.

Her mum's blonde hair was as tidy as ever and her sensible nightgown as red as Sakuea's old qipao dress. There were lines on her face that were accentuated by the frown between her brows and Sakura could tell she was surprised.

Her dad's face held laugh lines but not one of them were strained. He wasn't laughing like he usually was or even grinning at her and calling her his little Sacchan. His pink hair was messy and his pajamas untidy and he looked older than she'd ever seen him. The expression on his face was one she couldn't put her finger on.

Sakura took a good look at them because she knew it would be the last time she saw them for quite a while.

She took her shower very slowly and checked and double checked her parents were asleep after putting her day clothes on. With careful movements that were made deliberately soundles, she unpacked the bags full of her civvies and started packing the things she would actually need.

Her two sets of uniforms, all her weapons, her cleaning instruments and camping gear. A few of her products and even fewer normal clothing. The last thing to go in was the old Team Seven portrait.

With a last glance around her childhood room, Sakura took a deep breath, grabbed her bag and climbed her windowsill yet again. She gently coached chakra into her feet so she could climb to the roof and rushed towards the only place she could find solace at the moment.

The moon was the only thing reflecting on the Memorial Stone and it was barely enough to let her see the names engraved on it. With a shuddering sigh, Sakura traced the characters with her fingertips and reminded herself why she was doing this.

She had to keep going.

She didn't know how long she stood there but her internal clock told her it was close to dawn when she finally managed to come back to herself. At some point during the summer night it had started to rain and she was completely drenched and shaking from the cold.

Sakura didn't know what to do now. How does one go about to rent an apartment? She couldn't live in her parents home anymore, not if she wanted to keep being a kunoichi, but she had no idea what to do now.

She had some money from all the missions Tsunade sent her but what about today? Her parents would surely look around for her at Ino's before giving up and leaving without her and even if they didn't leave, she had to find some place to stay until she could get her feet under her again.

Fierce smiles and claps on the back that felt more like an elephant had chosen to sit on it crossed her mind.

Tsunade-sama would help her, right? She was her _shishou_. Sakura bit her lip worriedly before shaking herself off.

It was no use sitting around in the cold and wondering when she could just go for it and ask her in person. The worst she could do was say no and then Sakura would move on to someone else. She was sure she could guilt trip Kotetsu into paying a hotel for the week if it came down to it.

Sakura knew she could find her master in the Hokage tower. It had been a crazy day at the office and the mountain of paperwork on Tsunade's desk had been taller than her.

When she got there, the whole building was deserted and the lights were out but she could hear light snoring coming from her shishou's office. Sakura quieted her steps as she approached the open door but when she got there, Tsunade snapped her eyes open and looked straight at her.

The woman's body was tightly coiled for a moment and Sakura made sure not to move a single muscle while recognition slowly bled into her fierce features. She figured she had triggered her instincts by sneaking closer and wasn't looking forward at all to seeing the Hokage in attack mode.

"What are you doing here so late?" Tsunade scowled at her. "And with your bags?"

Sakura stared blankly at the diamond on the middle of the blonde's forehead. She had no idea how to go about this.

"Where's Shizune-senpai?" Sakura asked instead.

Tsunade raised an imperious eyebrow.

"She's at the hospital but you're not here to ask about Shizune." She crossed her fingers in front of her and leaned her chin on top of them. "Now spill."

Sakura was never one to disobey orders. So she did.

"I-I can't stay with my parents anymore," she blurted it out fast, like one continuous word, before taking a deep breath and calming herself. "I need a place to crash for a few days so I can figure things out. How does one even goes about renting an apartment here, shishou?"

Sakura stared earnestly at her master, trying to squash the feeling inside of her that this amazingly strong woman could fix anything but not quite managing. She didn't like relying on someone like this, not after everything that's happened, but she still couldn't help feeling like Tsunade held the answers to all her problems, like she could snap her fingers and fix everything.

Tsunade looked intently at her, eyebrows furrowed and eyes glinting with something Sakura couldn't recognize, for what felt like an eternity. The silence dragged on until Sakura started sweating and she was about to excuse herself and jump out of the window when Tsunade abruptly got up and moved around the desk.

"Come on." She waved her hand impatiently and turned the lights off before leaving.

Sakura stood in the dark for a moment, her brain struggling to catch up. This wasn't the reaction she was expecting.

"Did you knock your head, girl?" Tsunade yelled from outside. "Get a move on, I don't have all night!"

"H-Hai!" Sakura scrambled to follow the woman down the hall. They went straight past the exit at the ground floor and continued towards the back of the tower.

There was a simple unassuming wooden door at the end of the hall and that's where they went through. The corridor they entered was long and it lead them with a downwards incline. The only source of illumination were a few gentle lights fixed to the dark walls.

She had always wondered what secrets the Hokage Tower held but, somehow, seeing Tsunade stop and slap her hand to the wall and then the intricate seals that lighted up the hall still managed to surprise her.

It was like a veil had been lifted and instead of seeing the same endless corridor they had been, a cozy hall came to life right before her eyes.

She hadn't even felt the chakra signature from the seal.

The hall held three doors, all of them without handles, and was nicely illuminated. Tsunade didn't even stop before biting her finger to bring blood to the surface, she brought that hand to the centre of the dark wood and another seal activated.

"Tsunade-sama?" Sakura asked hesitantly as they entered another corridor, this one leading up.

Tsunade's pigtails slapped across her back when she turned her head to glare quickly at Sakura.

"I already told you to call me shishou." Her voice was emphatic but didn't hold its usual fierceness. "I don't want to hear another "sama" coming from your mouth ever again. Remember what I told you, girl, bow to no one."

Sakura took in a sharp breath through her nose. It was kind of irritating having to be told that more than once and even more so due to the fact that she'd been told to follow blindly behind Tsunade.

Normally, she would let it go. This was her Hokage after all, if she told Sakura to jump the only possible response she could have was to ask how high. Years and years learning and then following the Shinobi Guidebook had taught her to trust the system. Follow orders without questioning, do what's asked of you and trust your Hokage.

Tsunade had been teaching her differently, though. She didn't value rules like Sakura did. She didn't care for deference and actively hated pushovers that did whatever they were told by their superiors no questions asked. Tsunade did what she thought was right.

And she wanted Sakura to be like that, apparently. She wanted Sakura to stand up to herself, to keep her chin up and speak her mind. To be more like _Inner. _So it was actually pretty easy for Sakura to let her annoyance be known.

"_Shishou,"_ she said firmly just as they entered a spacious foyer. "Where the fuck are we going?"

Tsunade barked a laugh and finally turned to look at Sakura, something like pride shining in her eyes. She put both her hands on Sakura's shoulders and shook her a little.

"You're staying with me from now on, brat. We just went through the secret passageway that leads the Tower to the Senju estate."

Sakura gaped at her. "W-what? I can't possibly—"

"It's not unusual for an apprentice to live with their masters." Tsunade shrugged and despite the magnitude of her words, the thing that shook Sakura to the core was the uncertainty behind them. "That is if you want to, of course. You can leave when you find a place to stay if it makes you uncomfortable."

"No!" Sakura almost shouted. "I-I want to live here… with you, shishou."

She was certain by how warm her cheeks felt that she was blushing horribly but it didn't really matter when Tsunade beamed at her.

"Okaeri, Sakura."

Sakura's face felt like it would split in half by how big the smile on her face was.

"Tadaima, shishou."

* * *

_Yooo, author's rant is back (before it even left) by popular demand haha You guys, it makes me so happy to know you enjoy this because I loooove writing it. _

_Some points to consider from now on: There's gonna be many time skips. This comes from the fact that so far, you guys have only seen the introduction__of this fic. To be completely honest, I haven't even gotten to writing the part where I look and go okay this is it. You guys think I named this Bad Idea ™ out of jest but I shit you not, I'm fucked. _

_So yeah, the next few chapters will be a healthy mix of time skips and continuous storytelling with a few flashbacks sprinkled on top. And that's because, to be honest, we all know what happened during the years Naruto was away. Sakura trained and she trained _hard_. This aspect of the story won't be much different from canon. _

_Oh yea! Almost forgot to say, the time jump between the orginal and Shippuden will be longer than in canon here. Not sure just how much longer, so far in my drafts it's about four years until Naruto comes back. That'll make Sakura almost 18 bc it's my headcanon that Sakura is a bit older than her peers. _

_About Sakura running from home and the situation with her parents, well, I'm sure you've seen it coming. While in canon we get almost nothing about Sakura's civilian background and I tried to explore that a bit here, it won't have much 'importance' in the coming chapters. _

_Did you guys just realise I made up a Land of Fire capitol? Bc I kinda did. It just really bothered me that we never knew where the Fire Daimyō lives and I read somewhere that it would make sense to have it far away from Konoha, you know, not to have the two most important figures of the country close to each other in case of an attack so I kind of went with it. Hinote no Shuto (which literally means Flame Capitol according to google, if you didn't catch on to that) is where the Fire Daimyō and his besties live. _

_What about Tora, you ask, and the fact that it escapes to Konoha from the daimyō's wife? Well, it is my personal headcanon that while the fire palace would be in the capitol, they'd still have lots of estates thrown around the land of fire. Fire daimyō's wife is always nearby because of the weather, ya'll. just go with it. _

_Thank you so much for everyone who reviewed, you guys always make me so damn happy, I can't even describe it! This might be the last update in a while because,as you guys know, I'm taking a short trip to Japan before moving back to my country and things have been/will be insane. However, be on the lookout for a June update!_

**The most important part of this rant: **_We officially hit 10 chapters and I wanted to give something to you guys for being so wonderful to me. So, on top of this kind of double update, I decided to do a drabble lottery! Wooo! _

_The conditions for applying are: You have to have reviewed on all the chapters I posted so far and you have to comment on this one letting me know your favourite part of the story OR your favourite kakasaku trope. I will give you guys until the next update to submit and I will draw up three random names which I will let you know on my next rant. These three peeps will then send me their prompts hihi_

_If you didn't review on all the chapters already and still want to participate, that's totally fine I get sometimes we just don't have the time to review and I'm sure there are still some people who are just now finding the story! So yeah, it doesn't matter if you reviewed when the chapters were released or just now, as long as I see your name (that's also for guest users) in all the chapters and the submitting review on this chapter, you'll be part of the draw! Just make sure you actually followed all the requirements!_

_See you soon xx_


	11. The Real Beginning

Living with Tsunade was… odd.

She wasn't a bad person to live with, honestly. She was barely home most of the time, as was Sakura, but it was the little things that kind of freaked Sakura out. It was the way she learned how the blonde talked slowly when she first woke up and hadn't had coffee yet or how she always liked to sit on the corner of the sofa or even how she fixed her hair only after she had breakfast.

It was strange seeing her Hokage who had always been this imposing, untouchable figure, become this woman who was no less intimidating or fierce but so much more _human. _

Sakura didn't have much time to contemplate this drastic change in perspective, though. Tsunade had buried her completely in hospital work. She had been doing rounds all day long, healing scrapes and learning to mend broken bones. She had been promoted as Tsunade's assistant during surgery but while those were always interesting, they were few and far between.

She hadn't been to a single mission outside the village for almost three weeks and the only physical training she managed to squeeze in was her nightly routine of exhausting herself to sleep, only now her books where always on genjutsu, and Lee's workout regime. She hadn't trained with Tenten and Lee in over a week and _they were all in the village_.

She got up early to do her laps around the village and rounded back to the Senju Estate to do the rest of her workout. The property was installed on the right side of the Hokage Mountain and it was _gigantic. _There were many training grounds on the backyard that Sakura took full advantage off.

By the time she got back to her room—that was equally large and traditional—Sakura was sweating but nowhere near getting the itch under her skin taken care of. She needed to do _something. _

The hospital was buzzing that morning. Tsunade was performing a heart surgery never done before that afternoon and they were all expected there bright and early to prep for it.

"Haruno!" An annoying voice called from down the hall and Sakura fought back a sigh.

Momoe Satsuki was the chief nurse and an ambitious kunoichi. She was still a genin in her twenties, sure, but she had managed to climb the hospital ladder faster than anyone Sakura had ever seen. Satsuki would never be considered a good combat medic nin, but her word was law at the hospital.

Tsunade hated her, just like Sakura did, but even she couldn't deny how efficient her role on Konoha's General was.

"Hey! Did you hear me? I need you to do something for me." Satsuki's bland face stared up at Sakura with a frown.

"What do you need, Momoe-san? I'm supposed to help Tsunade-shishou prep." Sakura gave the woman a polite smile, already prepared to make an excuse and leave.

She took a step past the plump woman that was blocking her path but stopped when she felt a pudgy hand grip her wrist firmly.

"I don't like your attitude, Haruno." Sayuri said with a strained smile on her face. "While you're in my hospital, you will do as I say and be respectful towards your superiors."

Sakura didn't take her eyes off the hand that was still holding on to her. The past three weeks of no action and the months of suffering through this hag's self-righteousness suddenly exploded in white hot anger inside Sakura. The same sharp calmness she felt on the battlefield descended upon her and before she knew it, Sakura was leaning closer to the woman.

Inner brought forth the same fierceness she used on her enemies and, clad in a blanket of darkness and a mask of danger, raised her eyes to finally meet Satsuki's. The woman's dark green eyes were wide in fear as Sakura slowly peeled her hand out of her arm. She used the tiniest amount of chakra when she touched her pinkie and watched in satisfaction when she cried out in pain.

"Don't ever touch me again." Her voice was dark and low and flashes of monsters with too wide grins kept going on the back of her mind.

Sakura left Satsuki a shaking mess on the floor, not bothering to look back or hide. She was done. She was fucking _done._

"I'm not doing this anymore." She barged into Tsunade's office at the hospital without knocking and found her and Shizune hunched over some papers. She was marginally calmer in that she had managed to push the darkness back, but nervous energy still cursed through her bloodstream.

"Not doing… what?" Shizune asked.

"This whole hospital thing!" Sakura threw her hands in the air and started pacing. "What am I even doing? Cleaning bedpans and healing easy injuries, what is it doing for me? Absolutely nothing, that's what!"

"You don't clean bedpans," Tsunade said.

"I might as well for all the useful things I'm doing here!"

"Working at the hospital is useful, Sakura-chan," Shizune chastised her and Sakura had to fight very hard not to jump at the girl's throat for her condescending tone. "You _are _bettering your medical skills and helping others in here. If you ever want to take on my mantle and then Tsunade-sama's you also need to know how the hospital works."

Sakura took a few deep breaths before turning her head away from her senpai to look at Tsunade. She knew she was being rude but she had reached her breaking point.

"You told me you would train me in everything you know. You haven't taught me anything new since that first lesson on augmenting muscle force." Sakura stared unblinkingly at her shishou's golden eyes. She wouldn't back down on this. "I get you have a lot of work to do and I'm fine with learning a few things on my own but I barely have any time left for it!"

"You're learning how to lead here, kid." Tsunade didn't offer anything else but Sakura had an answer for that.

"I'm a chunnin, I can lead on the field." She raised her eyebrows. "I'll be more useful out there than here, at this rate. You know, maybe there's something wrong with the Medical Program, Shishou. It doesn't make sense to keep _combat_ medics at the hospital all the time, it's why your proposal was shut down by Sandaime-sama." She felt like she had crossed the line with that one but Tsunade just stared at her for a moment and when Shizune went to protest she raised a hand to silence her. Sakura took it as her cue to use the big guns. "I won't be able to catch up to Naruto at this rate, Shishou. I _need _to be ready to fight by his side when he comes back, not to stay back at the hospital where it's safe. It's not where I belong. At least not yet."

There was a beat before Tsunade grinned at her. It was more a snarl than a grin, really, full of sharp annoyance and fierce pride but it was still a grin. Sorta.

"I'm turning you into a little shit, aren't I?" She barked a laugh. "A week, girl."

"What?" Sakura said through her smile.

"I'll take a week off to give you only combat training. That first week will be only theory training and then we'll settle a schedule where you'll take missions while I can't train with you and we'll focus on your training when we're both available."

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune's eyes were as wide as saucers. "You can't leave the Hokage post for a week!"

"I can do it in three days." Sakura rushed to say.

"You can half your learning time now, kid, but I can still only teach one thing at once." Tsunade raised her eyebrow at her.

"Not if your clone teaches mine." Sakura countered. "You have enough chakra for that."

Tsunade barked another laugh. "Little shit is right. Let's go."

She got up and tossed her white coat on the desk before moving around it to grab Sakura's head with one hand.

"Tsunade-sama, the surgery!" Shizune cried out.

"Reschedule it for next week!" Tsunade yelled over her shoulder. "We need more time to go over the final details and I have a sudden urge to kick a certain pinky's ass."

Sakura thought her brain was about to explode. Tsunade had given her so many new and wonderful information on medical ninjutsu and chakra control—after beating her soundly, of course—that a whole different world had opened itself up for analysis. Not to mention the fact that she had learned the theory behind all of her shishou's signature jutsu including the Byakugou seal and how to get a start on that.

The Strength of a Hundred Seal was probably one of the most complex and amazing technique Sakura had ever heard of. The thought that soon her training would be directed towards that was enough to make her heart pound and blood rush.

Even if her head did feel like there was a tiny Tsunade inside it, constantly punching her brain.

She trudged her way back home with dragging feet that seemed clumsy enough to make fear of falling a reality. Tsunade had left her a couple of hours ago when the sun began to set but she stayed behind at the Senju training grounds to practice some of the basics. All she'd gotten for her efforts was a sprained wrist so far.

Sakura had done exactly like her shishou had instructed and tried to punch the boulder into smithereens like demonstrated but two hours later and she was feeling more discouraged than ever.

She went to bed that night with a weight on her chest, thinking how she had felt so confident she could do this and how wrong she'd been.

However, there was nothing like a healthy dose of night terror to shake the glum out of a person. Dreams vivid enough in a way that was only possible because they were actually memories plagued her night. Her own screams woke her up and she was briefly grateful that Tsunade apparently had already left for the Tower before she was on her feet.

Sakura didn't bother with breakfast or even changing out of her pyjamas, she simply marched outside to the training ground in her backyard and faced one of the boulders there. Sasuke was still out there with Orochimaru. Naruto was unreachable. And all night she'd been stuck in flashes of her friends falling in front of her and blood, so much blood.

She would master that technique _today_. She couldn't afford not to.

With a deep breath, she closed her eyes and coached her chakra towards her right fist. A sudden bout of inspiration struck her and she used her left hand to make the tiger seal to help her focus. Keeping her flow steady, she guided as much as she could towards her knuckles and pulled her fist back.

She let go of the breath she was holding the same time she left her fist fly, still not opening her eyes, and heard the deafening crack that ensued.

Sakura opened one eye warily to look at the boulder and whooped in celebration. There was a large crater in the boulder before her, the cracks a spidery web reaching the edges of it. She hadn't managed to pulverize it like her shishou but it was still something. If that boulder had been a person, she would have done some serious damage.

And she loved it.

It was a week later that Tsunade managed to escape the office long enough to join her for an early morning training session. The two of them had been sparring for a while and Tsunade had seemed proud of Sakura, even if she hadn't explicitly told her so.

Sakura knew her shishou was pleased by how her grin was that much fiercer and her eyes that much sharper. She knew because she realised Tsunade kept increasing the intensity and speed behind her hits to see just how much Sakura could take, like she was testing her but also like she was rewarding her.

Every time Sakura managed to evade or successfully block a blow that would have broken someone else's bones, Tsunade's smile grew. When Sakura finally managed to switch to the offensive for the first time ever while sparring with her shishou, she felt a rush like none other.

Tsunade dodged easily from her well-aimed punch, but the tree behind her had been completely obliterated. She hadn't actually managed to do it to the boulder yet, but she was getting there. She knew she was and it was downright exciting to see the progress in herself.

"Alright!" Tsunade clapped her hands together and snorted. "That's enough for a pre-workout don't you think?"

Sakura would have scoffed but she was too busy falling to the floor in a heap. Every muscle in her body ached and she was pretty sure she couldn't get any wetter if she jumped in a river. Sweat ran into her eyes making them sting and the hair that had escaped her usual braid was plastered to her forehead because of it. At that moment, tired was an understatement.

"Get up, brat, we're not finished." Tsunade's shadow fell on Sakura as she leaned her hands on her hips and bended a little at the waist to look at her. "Or are you? I have more to do than sit around and watch you pant, girl."

That was enough incentive for Sakura to gather a breath and gasp out, "No!" Tsunade raised an eyebrow at her and she was sure she would have blushed if her cheeks hadn't already been flushed from the exercise. "I can keep going, just give me a few seconds."

Tsunade rolled her eyes but to Sakura's surprise, she sat down next to her and leaned back on her hands to tilt her face towards the first rays of sun, like she was soaking up its warmth. A few minutes went by in silence and Sakura had calmed her heartbeat enough to get up and try again but Tsunade cut her off before she could.

"Did you mean what you said?" She asked, her tone subdued in a way that Sakura had never heard before. She didn't have to ask what Tsunade meant because she continued shortly after a heavy pause. "Do you really think there's something wrong with the Medical Program? Shizune said you were just being ungrateful and inpatient like the usual teenager but I don't think you're the type of girl to run from work like that."

Sakura blinked at her. Her shishou was sitting next to her after finally finding some time to spar and was actually asking for her opinion on official matters. She was stunned to say the least.

It was only after careful consideration of her words that Sakura answered.

"I think when you introduced it here you did the best you could considering the shitty situation Konoha was facing. But," Sakura took a deep breath and hoped she wasn't overstepping her boundaries by continuing, "things are not like they were anymore. The hospital is well stablished and staffed, the people there can handle the normal influx and with you and Shizune-senpai around, the possibilities of anyone dying from an injury while at the village is practically null."

Sakura paused to let Tsunade take over but when she looked at her, her amber eyes were still watching the tree tops in silent consideration, so she decided to keep going.

"The problem right now is that there aren't enough medics out there because becoming a medic is so time consuming and, frankly, bureaucratic that the only ones who end up doing it are ninja who later on can't keep up on the field. It's almost field career suicide." Sakura bit her lip. "During the disaster that was my first chunin mission there was this Anbu guy at Kakashi-san's team. His name was Fox, or at least his codename was, and he could do some basic medical ninjutsu. Enough to give Ino a fighting chance."

It was quiet for a while, the only sounds in the clearing of a few distant birds and the wind rustling the leaves and Sakura was afraid she had said too much but then Tsunade was speaking again, her voice uncharacteristically soft, like she was still lost in whatever thoughts plagued her mind.

"Some Anbu who have better chakra control sometimes take it upon themselves to learn the basics."

She still wasn't looking her way but Sakura nodded anyways before bringing her gaze to where Tsunade's hadn't left since the beginning of the conversation.

"Maybe what we need out there isn't fully trained medics. Maybe what we need for now are those that have enough control to know how to do patch up jobs. Emergency field solutions until they can get somewhere safe." Sakura untied her hitae-ate and scratched at the healed scar that bisected her right eyebrow, courtesy of that Kusa ninja from her first mission as a leader. "I'm sure some of them will feel much more inclined to work in the hospital after they've experienced the field one too many times."

Sakura forced her fingers from scratching anymore at the scar and brought them to her lap to fiddle with the ends of her headband. Every time she thought back to that mission it itched as if a reminder of what could have happened. The wound on her shoulder had been completely healed by that nurse but Sakura had brushed her off before she could heal any of her scratches. The tiny wound across her eyebrow had been enough to make blood fall on her eyes but had long since clotted and Sakura had only remembered it again when she had stood beneath her shower head. It was now a constant reminder for Sakura of what had happened.

The silence had stretched on for a little too long when Sakura realised her shishou was looking at her, eyes narrowed and eyebrows furrowed.

"You're way too smart for so early in the morning, brat." Tsunade continued looking at her before scoffing and rolling her eyes. "And you were right about why the old man refused to follow my advice on having a medic on each team." Tsunade pursed her lips before saying in a low voice, "Imagine all the deaths that could have been avoided if you had been there with that way of thinking."

Sakura felt warmth in her chest at the blonde's words but acknowledged the compliment with only a faint smile before responding.

"Konoha wasn't ready for that, Shishou. The hospital was a disgrace and the medics clueless, they needed your guidance to grow to how they are now. The only reason we can think about field solutions now is because of you, really."

Tsunade's eyes widened minutely before she turned towards Sakura.

"Flattery won't get you out of another round, girl."

Sakura knew it was Tsunade's way of avoiding the sentimental turn their conversation had taken but didn't take offense to it. She could read now the pride in her shishou's eyes and the mirth in her scowls and she was glad they'd shared that talk even if she could barely walk throughout the rest of the day.

_Hey, babes! Sorry for the unexpectedly long wait for this chapter! I hope you liked it as much as I did 3 There shouldn´t be another long wait like this one because I´m going back to uni which means going back to having a routine and things won´t be as crazy anymore lol Thank you all so much for reviewing, I really cherish each word from y´all_

_AND NOW FOR THE MOST EXCITING PART!_

_THE WINNER OF THE RAFFLE IS... oh_jeez! Thank you so much for commenting on every single one of my chapters, specially when sometimes you´d do it twice lol You can send me your prompt as a review on this chapter or as an ask on Tumblr (s-scorpiusmlfy). Thank you again 3_

_Now, you guys, I have to confess something... While I was away I ended up writing a little something... It´s supposed to be the first chapter of a spin off for this story that just wouldn´t leave my head and I just had to write it but now I kind of don´t want to write it anymore so it´s just a really confusing AU one-shot thingy? Should I ever shape it up to let it see the light of day or should I just keep it to myself?_

_See you soon ;)_


	12. Shu'unen

Sakura sat down on the foyer of the Senju house to put on her boots and blew a piece of her hair away from her face as it fell from its usual tight braid. It had been almost a year ago that Ino had first put it there before the ambush and every day since, Sakura had religiously put it back up when getting ready for the day.

It had become a ritual of sorts, almost like tracing the characters on the memorial stone with her eyes. Her hair would stay up in that braid and grow long until she had enough skills to back it up. Only then she would let it down.

With a last check to make sure she had all her weapons in place, she left the house through the side entrance that led into the Hokage Tower. The place was buzzling this time of day, with plenty of influx of ninja getting back from their missions before sundown but no one paid her any particular attention as she walked the hallways.

These walls had become like a second home for Sakura over the course of the last six months. The day after that training session where Tsunade had asked her opinion on the Medical Program, during breakfast, her shishou had implied that she would appreciate an extra hand at the office. At first Sakura was reluctantly compliant, following through Tsunade's barely veiled order only because she was her Hokage, but after a while, working at the office had proven to be a good way to keep her mind sharp.

After the disaster that working at the hospital had turned out to be, Tsunade hadn't really pressured Sakura on taking any kind of formal shifts at the office, only calling for her when necessary. Most of the time, it was Sakura who volunteered to be next to her shishou, be it to help sign paperwork, assign the fitting shinobi for a certain mission or just simply work on her own studies beside her.

It was always great to have her shishou by her side when she was testing out a particularly tricky genjutsu.

Sakura could say she spent a lot of her time inside those walls, even as she kept an intense training regime and took many missions outside the village. Just because she was working against the clock on improving herself, didn't mean the village wasn't still in a short supply of available ninja.

Gradually, over the weeks and months that Tsunade had taken up the Hokage mantle, their living room had become a second office of sorts, paperwork strewn across the coffee table and all sorts of scrolls pilled up around it. During the night, Sakura had taken the habit of sitting with her shishou around the low table to either study or help her finish her work while her clone went outside to see how far she could stretch her limits.

Sakura had found herself knowing more about her village and the intricacies of it than she ever hoped for. She'd already known a lot about the trades done in Konoha on the civilian side because of her training as a Haruno but working with Tsunade had shown her so much more. She'd learned about which treaties were made and dissolved and how to navigate around shinobi politics but perhaps the most important thing she'd learned so far was how Konoha's past wasn't as squeaky clean as she'd pegged it to be.

Having access to basically everything the Hokage did wasn't always a blessing and it was hard to come to terms with the fact that Konoha had some very shady shadows in its past, especially with how much of that shadiness had involved the elders in some way.

Sakura had come to hate Mitokado Homura and Utatane Koharu for a lot of reasons. At first, she was just mildly annoyed with them for all the disapproving glances they sent her way whenever Tsunade asked her to stay behind for a meeting with them but it was more than that. The Council claimed to be there to ensure the Hokage made the right decisions concerning the village but it was extremely counterproductive to have two people who hadn't known field work for over three decades to stand against the Hokage at every turn.

They seemed to _hate _Tsunade, often implying how young and inadequate she was for the role and contradicting her on almost everything. Once, Sakura had even seen them belittle her in front of some of the daimyo's correspondent. She had no idea why they had suggested her for the post if they wouldn't stand by her.

Perhaps the thing that made her the most apprehensive about Konoha and the Council, however, was Shimura Danzou. She knew the elder had gone behind the Sandaime's back and had been forcibly removed from the Council about a decade ago for his efforts, but the man always seemed to be just around the corner, giving his input to the Council who, to Sakura's disbelief, sometimes _agreed _with him. She thought that claiming he was an elder wasn't reason enough not to have put him in jail for going against the Hokage.

But even if they didn't always see eye to eye, all three of them seemed to agree that Sakura shouldn't be Tsunade's apprentice. They always had something to say about her. Sometimes it was that she was too young for Tsunade to share so much of her work with and that she should be taking more missions instead of learning the ropes of the Tower. Other times it was that she was too inexperienced and lacking to be groomed as the Senju heir. It didn't matter what she did, they were always complaining about her and she knew it was because she was civilian borne.

Sakura frowned a bit at herself for having let her mood deter because of her thoughts. There was absolutely nothing she could do about the elders but play her carefully crafted game of deafness and polite smiles that her political training had provided and Inner made possible. It was no use dwelling on them any longer, she had a date with Ino and she couldn't be late.

Sakura stopped on her tracks.

She knew it would happen before it did. Had felt the electric whiteness of his chakra the moment he entered the building. Still, it kind of felt like a punch to the gut to see Kakashi's white mop of hair over the top of the other ninja's heads. Just the sight of him, orange book held in front of his face and one hand buried deep into a pocket, was enough to send a torrent of emotions through her system.

Lately, it was safe to say that emotions weren't something Sakura had had any pleasure in dealing with. To push herself harder like she'd been doing, there had to be little space for any kind of feeling but determination and focus. The thing was, this wasn't how Sakura _worked. _

She'd always been very emotional and the frustration she'd been feeling over the past few months at herself had only kept growing every time she threw up after a particularly vicious mission or woke up in a fit of nightmares or even when she cried because of a sudden flashback during the night.

The same confusing mix of sadness, frustration and anger went through her when she saw Kakashi and she almost pretended not to have seen him and continued on her way, but… Next week would be the anniversary of Naruto leaving the village.

It didn't matter that she was angry at herself at feeling so nostalgic or sad. It didn't matter that she was supposed to have heeded the man's subtle tells and gotten rid of any sentimentality involving Hatake Kakashi. It didn't matter that she thought he was a fucking idiot to just walk around the village without ever acknowledging her. None of it mattered because Kakashi _had _been team 7 at the end of the day.

"Kakashi-san!" She turned around to call him when he passed her by before she could overthink it.

Sakura saw him hesitate in turning around. She was sure many wouldn't have noticed it, the tiniest of hesitation between one step and the other before he stopped and turned his head and torso slightly to look at her.

"Yo." His eyes closed in a smile hidden by his mask.

The sight of it rankled on Sakura's anger but she pushed it down and forced herself to step closer to him so that she could talk without attracting the attention of the other ninja. He still didn't turn to look at her.

"It's been almost a year since Naruto left Konoha." Sakura knew he was the type to play in subterfuge and double meaning words but she couldn't care less. During missions it had become easy to analyse the way a target worked and adapt her approach accordingly but for the life of her, Sakura couldn't bring that training to deal with him at that moment. For a second, he was Kakashi-sensei and she was twelve once again and for some reason, she couldn't remember how to be the calculating chunin she'd become in the past year.

"Ah, really?" Kakashi scratched at his covered cheek and turned towards her.

If one looked, they would think the two of them were having a friendly conversation now that he had turned to look at her, but Sakura knew better. He still had his book out and was hiding behind his smiles and carefree tone but his feet had spread just a hairsbreadth more than usual for a man his size, like he was strengthening his base to defend himself. Or to bolt.

"Yes, really," Sakura managed to say with the barest hint of sarcasm to her voice. "Do you want to meet up at Ichiraku sometime?"

"Maa." Kakashi's eyes strained more around the corners as he kept up the infuriating smile of his. "I'm on my way to a debriefing for a mission that doesn't really have an estimated length, unfortunately. Maybe when I get back?"

With that, he turned to walk away from her.

Sakura stared at his back feeling at once angry and sad. She couldn't contain the roll of emotion on her stomach so intense it made her sick. She hated him then. Truly loathed him and the last nostalgic image of Kakashi-sensei she had went up in flames by how hurt she felt.

"Ah, by the way." He turned his head back to look at her. "Congrats on your medical training. Ja." He raised a hand in goodbye but Sakura wasn't looking anymore.

With a determined tilt to her chin, she swallowed until her stomach settled, turned on one leg and left the tower without glancing back.

With a little help from Inner, she locked away all the hurt and sadness and anger into a tiny box she had on the back of her mind and continued on her way to meet Ino. The blonde had practically forced Sakura into agreeing to go out with her today, something about not seeing each other for the past month.

Sakura couldn't help it, though. Her training was taking up so much of her time that she barely had enough hours in the day to _rest _let alone have a social life. Her meetings with Lee and Tenten had also cooled down to practically twice a month now that they all had turned chunin and had missions outside of the village with Team Guy more often. Sakura had remained close to them both but she didn't have much space in her life for anything other than training partners. Training partners who happened to be her friends, sure, but their interactions had been restricted to the training grounds.

Ino appeared to be the exception.

She had forced her way into Sakura's life over and over again during the course of the year, making sure she didn't bury herself completely in her training. Ino dragged her off for lunch when Sakura had skipped it because of how concentrated she was on her chakra, prattling off about who was dating who and how scandalous it was because he was twenty years older than her.

She stopped by to paint Sakura's nails dark red like her shishou's and watch a corny chick flick when Sakura had planned to work in the Senju training grounds until she collapsed, or she declared Sakura's day off and forced her to head to the salon to get her double ends taken care of.

Once, after a particular mission that had taken Sakura a couple of weeks to complete, Ino had knocked on her door, entered without saying a word and proceeded to make her dinner. Ino had always been better at cooking than Sakura—it really wasn't that hard, to be honest—and she didn't have the heart to complain because Tsunade surely wouldn't be back from the office anytime soon and she needed _something_ to keep her from spiralling down the darkness that had taken place inside of her.

Needless to say, that had been a hard mission. Sakura and another girl had been the only ones to make it back home.

Now, Ino sat waiting impatiently at the street tables of a new teahouse near the Yamanaka's flower shop. It was a little too close to the civilian market for Sakura's comfort, but it _had _been over a month since she'd seen her best friend and she _had_ missed her. So Sakura powered through any fear of running into her parents and made her way towards the table.

"I thought you'd never get here." Ino crossed her arms petulantly and pouted at Sakura. "You're fifteen minutes late, you know?"

"I know, I'm sorry." Sakura shrugged. "I had a run in with someone on the way here."

Ino narrowed her eyes at her and Sakura fought a frown. Having a Yamanaka's pupilless eyes analysing you like that was unnerving, even after all the years Sakura had been Ino's friends.

"It was Kakashi-sensei, wasn't it?"

Sakura's eyes widened.

"How the fuck did you figure it out?" Sakura exhaled a small huff of amusement and shook her head.

"What did he do now?" Ino demanded, not answering her question. Sakura had no idea how she figured it out so fast, but didn't find it as surprising as she should. Ino always had a sixth sense for things like that and Sakura didn't question her on that anymore.

"Nothing," Sakura sighed. "He didn't do anything."

"Ah, I get it now." Sakura had no doubt that she did get the full scope of the situation with just those short words. "It's really no surprise, Sakura-chan. That man has some serious emotional issues. No one stays in Anbu as long as he did and comes out of it without some baggage."

"How long did he stay in Anbu?" Sakura asked after they ordered. "And just how do _you_ know that?"

"About ten years," Ino said. Sakura merely raised an eyebrow at her and a sheepish look crossed her face. "I overheard Daddy talking to Shikaku-ojisan once."

Sakura nodded pensively. If Kakashi had stayed in Anbu for that long then a lot of things made much more sense. His habit of emotionally distancing himself from everyone around him, hiding like he did today behind cheery smiles and a bright book was suddenly clear to her.

Sakura had always wondered what happened to his team. Usually, the jounin in the village still kept in touch with their genin team but the closest things to a friend that she ever saw interacting with Kakashi had been Guy-sensei. Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-sensei had been present when she went to find him at the tea house one afternoon after waiting hours for him to show up to train them but even then, he had looked distant.

The only possible explanation for his team not being around was that they were… gone, and just the thought of that made her chest constrict painfully. The hours she spent thinking her best friend was dead were probably the worst in her life, she couldn't imagine what he was feeling.

The realisation that Kakashi had lost not one team but _two_ made her want to cry. It was stupid to feel so compassionate about him when he barely took the time to notice she wasn't even in the Medical Program anymore but Sakura thought she understood him a little better now. When you had lost people like that, pushing others away seemed like a safe choice. She got that and couldn't really resent him for it.

A bit of the anger she'd felt for him was chipped away by the thought that maybe he was suffering just as much as her but, ultimately, it made no difference.

Sakura was done reaching out to someone who didn't want her company, be it Kakashi or Sasuke-kun. She had her own problems to deal with now and no space in her life for anyone else's bullshit. Even if they were justified.

"He's back in Anbu," Sakura murmured, the tiniest bit of worry lodging itself on her chest. "Or at least semi-reinstated. Most of his missions nowadays are solo S-Ranks but sometimes he gets assigned a few from Anbu or with a group of other jounin. To boost morale or something."

"I'm guessing having the famous Copy Nin on your team can make you feel invincible, right?" Ino shrugged. "He's famous around the village, it makes sense."

Sakura sighed and nodded. This train of thought left her feeling a bit depressed, the worry she felt for the man seemed somewhat unjustified in her head. They had absolutely nothing to do with one another anymore, she shouldn't feel worried about him because it wasn't any of her business anymore. And that was just fine with her.

She perked up a bit when their food arrived.

"This is really good," she moaned around her mochi, Ino echoing her sentiment. "I guess I can see now why you chose a place so close to the civvie market."

Ino paused, her tea halfway to her lips and looked at Sakura. Her big blue eyes poked a hole in Sakura's defences and she frowned.

"I thought you guys kept in contact through letters."

Sakura sighed. Throughout the six months since she'd left home, her parents had sent her exactly two letters. One to tell her how disappointed they were with her and making it clear she would have none of the perks she used to have from being a Haruno. It wasn't exactly a disownment, that would never happen because she was their only heir and if something happened to her otousan's cousin, she would be expected to take her dad's place when he died, but it was close.

The other letter had come after the annual meeting at the Haruno estate in Kumo. Apparently, Tachibana had been there and had asked for her. The letter ordered her to keep up appearances with the two brothers and for her to keep their 'disagreement' to herself if they ever contacted her.

It hurt that they hadn't made any effort to seek her out. Her chest ached just thinking of it but Sakura hadn't really dwelled on it much over the past months. She'd been so busy with her work and training that there just wasn't time for her to feel sad. Tsunade and Shizune had filled the void her parents had left better than they ever could, constantly challenging her in her shishou's case and encouraging in her senpai's.

She had a home to come back to thanks to Tsunade and all the support she never thought she needed before. Staying with people who encouraged her to be a better ninja everyday was doing wonders to her self-esteem and drive as a kunoichi.

Tsunade had upped the intensity of her training gradually over the last year and, looking back, Sakura took a moment to be amazed at how much she had managed to accomplish. The Hokage usually trained her late into the night after working at the Tower or at the crack of dawn before Shizune tracked her down to force her into the mountain of paperwork she always seemed to have.

She had managed to master her shishou's famous chakra enhanced strength after a lot of broken bones and collapses and was cultivating her seal like a mother would a child. Tsunade had taught her how to use the genjutsu she used on herself to keep her skin smooth and young and told her about how much easier it was to go undercover if she had it. She also had begun overseeing much of Sakura's experiments with genjutsu.

However, their training had gotten more specific towards mission procedures and skills that could be helpful on the field. When Tsunade realised that although she had all the skills of a medic-nin, Sakura wouldn't conform to her rules, the first thing she taught Sakura was how to mask her chakra.

"The trick isn't to put a cloak on it and try to snuff it out, Sakura," Shishou had said. "The trick is to feel your environment. If there are birds, bugs or any kind of animal nearby, have a feel of their chakra. See it in your mind's eye how much of it there is, the wavelength they operate. Then all you need to do is match yours to how theirs feel. Normal shinobi probably wouldn't notice you if you cloaked it like other people do." She smiled a fierce, dangerous smile that almost reminded Sakura of her nightmares. "But this is how you fool the elite."

Sakura's natural affinity with genjutsu had helped her a lot in those training sessions and now she made a habit of constantly having a great part of her chakra reserves cloaked.

She had been right in her assumptions that she had still been in the perfect age to make them grow. She had almost 27% more than she did before and even if they had stopped growing so much lately, it had still been more of an improvement than she could have ever hoped for. What a proteinic diet and constant exhaustion didn't do for chakra reserves.

"You're a slim girl and you have pink hair," Shizune-senpai had said. "People will always consider that to be a disadvantage for you. Use that to your favour, Sakura-chan. The less powerful they think you are, the better. The trick is to never let them see you coming."

Sakura had spent long afternoons with Shizune at the labs whenever her mind got bored of all the physical training she'd been doing. Shizune taught her about poisons and toxins and how everything works at a microscopical level. It was interesting to see how those rules applied to genjutsu and Sakura always kept a journal near her to take notes on those lessons.

Since her training had taken a more practical turn after she managed to master one of her shishou's signature moves, Sakura's mission influx had gone off the charts. She had a flawless rate of success to all her missions if only because she had found an inner fierceness in herself that was somewhat unexpected. She would sacrifice anything to finish a mission.

Anything other than her teammates' safety, that is but, so far, she'd mostly been sent on missions that she got to be a captain, so ordering her team to stay behind was easy when it came down to it.

The last year had been a busy one for her, that's for certain. She felt more tired than she'd ever been, but with every sore muscle and cracked bone, she felt stronger. Seeing all her efforts amount to something was more rewarding than she'd expected it to be.

Of course, the energy she had so far had waned the closer Naruto's departure anniversary got. She had been more and more tired the past few days and all she wanted to do was crawl beneath the covers of her fuuton and sleep for the three years that Naruto would take to come home.

"How did you know?" Sakura asked quietly when they were leaving the tea shop, the afternoon spent gossiping and laughing like she hadn't done in what felt like years. "How did you know it was Kakashi?"

Ino's eyebrow twitched when she noticed the lack of honorifics but she didn't comment on it as a terribly soft expression that made Sakura feel nauseous all over again took over her features. "No one in the world but someone from Team Seven can give you that look, Sakura-chan."

_Yo! So sorry for the long wait for this one, you guys, you have no idea how hellish life has been. BUT fear not, my dear friends, I will keep on posting this fic until it. is. DONE. 'ttebayo._

_This chapter is a bit transition-y and it may be a bit of a disappointed with the whole lot of nothing happening after quite a long wait, but I promise the next one will be a bit more exciting. I get to (FINALLY OH GAWD) introduce one of my favourite characters hihi BTW I'll write a prompt from whoever figures out who that character is, YAY._

_About the previous raffle, oh-jeez didn't actually reply with a prompt soooo they have until the next chapter to send it and I'm gonna do the raffle again if they don't! So if you haven't followed all the restrictions for participating, go back to the next chapter and make sure you do because there's a chance I'll draw another name!_

_About this chapter. Well. I have a lot of things to say but not all of them are coming to mind so I'll just settle with: time skip. We finally get to see our poor socially awkward boio-kakashi and that will be the last time for a bit and also we see just how busy Sakura has been. Also, and perhaps more importantly, Sakura's weird/dangerous/worrisome change of personality that began to happen since chapter one is becoming clearer. Remember she is often an unreliable narrator and her views on the Hokage are justified even if we as outsiders who live in western 21st century know Konoha for what it truly is. Military Dictatorship with child soldiers. _

_Anyways! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter! See you all soon :)_


	13. A-Rank

Sakura thought her chakra reserves enhancing training was finally complete. She didn't think they would grow much more even if she kept all the exercises she had taken up over a year ago and it started to feel pointless to send her clone away every night. Both her control and her reserves had grown and it was refreshing to say she was satisfied with the results.

She would never be a power house like some of her peers but she had more than enough to stand by their side. It was all about control, really, and that she had plenty to go around.

Things had been calm for a while. She still woke up screaming most nights and, particularly when Tsunade wasn't home, spiraled down a dark path in which she barely recognized where she was from time to time. Her coping mechanism had so far been ignoring it ever happened and it was kind of working.

After an adjustment period, the Rookie 9 and Team Guy had managed to meet up more often and while Sakura didn't really participate in many of their gatherings, she did manage to maintain her friendship with Lee, Tenten and, of course, Ino. Her training partners always made sure to include her on some of their training sessions when they were all in the village and once in a while, Tenten would join Ino in forcing her to some girls night. Sometimes even Hinata was present and they had agreed on having sleepovers whenever they could.

Sakura just made sure she never actually fell asleep during those.

The missions and training were still taking up a lot of her time, but she had managed to let herself be lulled into a sort-of-but-not-really routine. The day she realized that was the day she decided to change her training methods. She wouldn't get ready for Naruto's return if she got complacent.

So she decided to try something different. On a cloudy afternoon, Sakura headed to one of the Senju training grounds and created a clone, this one more resistant than the ones she used for practicing clone reach. When the rain came, she took to the trees and hid herself. She played a game of cat and mouse with herself until inevitably her clone won and they started sparring.

Sparring, perhaps, was putting it lightly. Since the clone was more resistant, it could take a few hits before it disappeared and Sakura used that opportunity to go full out. She used every one of her nastier genjutsu and didn't hold back on any chakra enhanced physical attacks. It was definitely something she could never practice with her usual sparring partners so these sessions were often destructive and left her completely wringed out.

She couldn't take much from fighting against an 'enemy' that had the same skill level and moves as herself but she had learned a lot. After fighting herself for so long, it had become quite easy to stablish her tells and quirks and, after that, to get rid of them. Tenten had noted how unpredictable she'd become and how much that could help her in the field.

Sometimes she felt chakra signatures around the training fields but she just steered clear of them and kept to the ones that were vacant, her own chakra always halfway covered.

It came as a complete surprise, naturally, when one of her training sessions with herself got interrupted by a loud whistle.

"Am I drunk or is there really two of you?" A man asked from the shadows.

Sakura immediately turned towards him, her hand unsheathing the tantou at her back and her clone tightening her fists. A tall jounin wearing a bandana-style hitai-ate came out into the clearing, his hands in the air and… was that a senbon on his lips?

She heard him muttering something like, "How did I not know there were _pink-headed twins_ in the village?" before he took a few steps closer. Sakura bared her teeth.

"What are you doing here?" She asked him and was glad to see him heading her silent warning and stopping where he was.

"I was looking for an empty training ground." He shrugged nonchalantly. "Anbu training grounds are always better for night practices. I'm pretty sure you're not Anbu, though, so that begs the question of what you're doing here."

He still looked laid back, as if he didn't really care what her answer was but something about the way he kept his eyes trained on her let her know he was ready to fight her depending on her answer.

"Anbu training grounds?" Sakura couldn't help but frown at that. "This isn't Anbu training grounds. I live here."

"You _live_ he-" His eyebrows rose high. "Oh… _Oh._" The man scratched his jaw. "I remember you now. Though the last time I saw you, you had considerably less clothes and was covered in blood. You're Haruno Sakura, right? Kakashi's kid and the Godaime's apprentice."

"I'm not Kakashi's anything." Sakura raised her chin at him and sheathed her blade. She remembered him from her first mission as a chunin, the shinobi who had cut off the head of the missing nin, and could now fill in some of his features that were hidden by the lack of light. "It's rude not to introduce yourself when you're in someone else's backyard, you know. Specially if you already know their name."

The man smirked at her and came closer into the spot she was standing where the moon illuminated the grass.

"Shiranui Genma, darling." He gave her a two-finger salute. "And this isn't your backyard. The Senju have let Anbu use these grounds for training for over two decades now."

Sakura copied his shrug, her heart racing a bit at the possibility of him causing her any trouble because she was basically trespassing on Anbu territory. It wasn't her fault that there weren't any signs that she was leaving her compound and entering the shadow corps domain. Really, they ought to be more attentive.

"No one has ever complained about me being here before." Was the best she could do.

"I suppose that doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you're masking most of your chakra?" Genma raised an eyebrow at her but he still looked more amused than anything else.

Sakura found herself wanting to return his grin but fought against it and shrugged once more in response. His observation confirmed her suspicions that he was a very skilled shinobi. His confusion about there being two of her had only been a ruse and she knew that now.

"If this is Anbu grounds than why aren't you wearing the uniform, Shiranui-san?" Sakura redirected the conversation towards him instead of confirming his accusation.

"I don't want any of that reverence bullshit, kid." He waved his hand dismissively but Sakura didn't miss the fact that he was also not answering her question. "It's Genma."

Sakura narrowed her eyes at the man. She had long since determined he wasn't a threat in any way and had seemed to enjoy a joke so letting Inner take over seemed alright with him.

"I'm not a kid, _jiji._"

Genma blinked at her for a second before throwing his head back and laughing. It was the sort of laugh that one would think was carefree but Sakura could see from the way he kept his eyes open and the hand that went to his stomach that was poised just that bit closer to his hip pouch that he was still ready to fight at a moment's notice. She knew it wasn't about her, though. He looked to be around Asuma's age and that would make him around the age that everybody went to fight the Third War.

She knew the shinobi around his age had joined the battlefield younger than she had graduated the Academy and she assumed that had left some marks. Not being able to relax, even while in the village, was an expected outcome. There was a reason most of the shinobi from that generation wore their uniforms constantly.

"I like you, Blossom." His smirk was as rugged as his laugh. He pointed his chin towards her tantou. "Do you know how to use that blade or is it just for show?"

Sakura's eyebrow twitched at the nickname and she narrowed her eyes at him, her own grin stretching across her face just before her clone moved in front of her and dispelled itself with an unnecessarily large cloud of smoke. She used the cover to move forward, chakra enhanced muscles propelling her forward in a fast shunshin while she unsheathed her tantou once again and brought it up to meet his neck.

The clash of metal on metal was enough to get her blood singing and she couldn't help the way her smile widened when the smoke cleared and she could see his face once again.

"Wanna find out?"

It was an unnecessary question because Genma was already moving towards her, his own tantou matching hers blow for blow in a fight that seemed more like a dance. She knew they were both holding back, testing each other's limits and reach but it was still exhilarating.

"You're good, _Flower._"

A vicious swipe to his neck.

"Your footwork and hold are solid and you're _fast._" They both paused on opposite sides of the training ground, blades still held in the air as Genma looked at her head on. "Tell you what. If you can hold yourself against me until midnight, you got yourself a new sparring partner. Nothing else but our blades are allowed." He gave a pointed look to the craters and ruined trees she had left behind.

Sakura didn't say anything. She lowered her center of mass by bending her knees and spreading her feet, twirled her tantou on her hand to better grip it and when he said, "Go," she was already halfway across the training ground.

He never really thought much of medic-nin.

During the war there had always been a constant need for them and what he remembered from that horrible, dark time was begging the skies for someone to stench the bleeding on his comrade's bodies. He remembered how desperation sunk in when the squad he was in had been attacked and the first to be targeted was the sweet girl he'd been flirting with for the past few weeks. Medic skirts and pouches were as good as bullseyes paint in the battlefield and her head flying was a scene that still haunted his nights, well over a decade later.

For quite some time, he'd really believed that iryo-nin were, well, a bit useless to be honest.

Every single one he had come in contact with the exception of the Hokage and Shizune had been so focused on their training that they had left the _ninja _part of 'medic-nin' aside and the result was a ninja that became a liability in the field. He didn't make it a habit to request a medic on his missions, even if they were dangerous.

This time, though.

"I need Shizune on this." Genma's voice was hoarse and he knew the team behind him stiffened in response to the heavy feel of the room. He didn't care to comfort them at the moment.

"She's in a mission, brat," the Hokage spoke harshly in response to his lack of deference but her eyes held such sadness that he had to look away. She knew all too well what he was feeling and Genma was all too aware of it. "It shouldn't take long to finish but it would still take some time for her to reach Grass and time is something we can't spare at the moment."

She was right and he hated her for it. Their information was fresh, a distress message sent as one of Anko's snakes straight to the Hokage. Her team had been captured by the same syndicate they'd been trying to shut down in the border between Iwa and Grass and they were requesting backup. The message had taken three days to get to Konoha and it would take two more for them to reach Kusa. There was no time to wait for Shizune.

Genma fought a shiver.

He didn't normally request a medic-nin for missions, that much was true. But today he would because when it came to his friends, Genma was not one to fuck around.

"Haruno Sakura," he spoke up, lifting his head and looking his Hokage in the eyes as if he wasn't asking her to send her pseudo-daughter on an A-Rank mission that bordered on Anbu level. His team — Aoba and Raido, ever there by his side — had been specifically set up so that they could work like the well-oiled machine they were, all of them elite jounin. Adding chunin Haruno would be like asking for her to go on a suicide mission.

If he didn't know better, that is.

Because no matter all his previous opinions on medic-nins, Sakura had managed to break them all down with her little chakra infused fists. From that first night they had met on Anbu training grounds and throughout the few months ever since, she had proven herself as a skilled fighter. She still had some work to do to get an elite status but the girl was _good_.

Another shiver was forced down, this time one of unease. While he knew she was the obvious choice, Genma still worried. Haruno Sakura, despite her age, had become more than just an occasional training partner for him. There had been moments of respite between trading blows in which they'd gotten to talk and he realized that the girl had a dry sense of humor that bordered on dark and somehow connected with his.

They had met from time to time around the village and her pink hair had become a constant in his life in the past weeks. And now he was specifically requesting her for a mission that she might not have the skill to complete.

He opened his mouth to back down, go back on his request and hope everyone forgot it ever happened, when a knock on the door interrupted him.

"Enter," Tsunade yelled.

"You sent for me, Shishou?" To Genma's horror, Sakura strode into the room, her pink hair neatly tied in its usual braid, her altered uniform neat and all her weapons present. Genma watched as she nodded to his squad before clearing his throat.

"Sakura," he greeted her with a slight nod and her eyes narrowed in response. He didn't use her name often, preferred to call her stupid nicknames that always got a rise out of her and suffering through the 'old man' jibes she sent back his way, so he knew she recognized the gravity of the situation immediately.

Tsunade sent the scroll flying Sakura's way and she caught it flawlessly before reading it quickly.

"Fuck," she breathed out, her eyes moving over the page so fast he had a hard time thinking she read it all. "Does Iwa know, yet?"

It was like the air had been punched out of his lungs.

He had been so worried about Anko and the squad she had taken with her that he hadn't even considered the implications of having Konoha nin being held hostage by a missing nin compound in the border with Iwa. By the sharp intake of breath coming from his friends, he figured they'd failed to think of that too. Five seconds in and Sakura was already being a better jounin than them. They had to pull their heads out of their asses if they wanted to complete this mission. Fast.

"Not yet," Tsunade sighed and massaged her temples. "It won't be long before word gets to them, so time is of essence here." Tsunade leveled her gaze on her apprentice. "This is an A-Rank mission that I wouldn't usually send a chunin to, Sakura. Be careful."

Sakura nodded. "Not my first A-Rank, Shishou," she tried to assure her, "not even the highest ranked mission I've taken."

Despite the situation, Genma found himself curious at hearing those words.

"Damnit, Sakura!" The Hokage raised herself from her chair by slapping her hands on the table. "This isn't an accidental S-Rank. This is an official A-Rank that borders on Anbu level. You wouldn't be sent if Shizune was in the village. This mission is beyond your skillset and you'll do well to remember that. Don't be reckless."

Sakura didn't glare or shout insults at the Hokage like he expected of a fourteen-year-old. Instead, her expression blanked for a second before she nodded perfunctorily at the Hokage and turned back towards him.

"I need to get my medical equipment from my house, taichou." Her voice was as shuttered and contained as her expression.

"That's fine." He cleared his throat and stood up straighter. "We'll all meet up there in fifteen minutes and use training grounds 67 as an exit."

"Team Genma," the Hokage said, her eyes grave and mouth pinched, "be careful."

"Hokage-sama," Genma, Aoba and Raido said at the same time but Sakura only smiled gently at her master.

"I'll see you when I get back, Shishou." Sakura's big green eyes shinned mischievously but behind it something gentle and scared could be seen. "Don't let the council drive you crazy without me here, okay?"

Genma didn't know how to feel about Sakura coming with them on such a dangerous and sensitive mission. He felt more anxious than before, the responsibility for his friend's lives sitting heavily on his shoulders, but he couldn't help but relax just the tiniest bit when he remembered the slight green tone Sakura's hands took whenever she healed him after a sparring session.

He couldn't predict how Sakura would handle this mission, but he knew that with her around them, Anko's chances of survival no matter what she had gone through while being held captive, had just raised tenfold.

_Sooooo, our surprise character is my boyo Genma! I absolutely love him and had some unexpected fun writing from his perspective, next chapter will have some more of that ;)_

_About the chakra exercises. I believe it's about time Sakura reached the point where her reserves won't be doing any significant growing. My personal theory is that it works just like our body, we have growing spurts around puberty and keep on growing (even if very little) until we're about 25. Only, I'd reckon it'd be earlier, say around 20, in the Naruto world. My Sakura is almost completely mature at this point, if you remember my other theory about how ninja grow up earlier than we do due to stress and other stimuli. A fourteen-year-old ninja would naturally be more physically and mentally mature than a fourteen-year-old irl. At this point in the story, Sakura is coming into herself and has developed into a very assertive young adult who has her own set of morals and loyalty. She's becoming more confident in her abilities everyday and is starting to see how successful she really is. I love writing this._

_Next chapter we'll have the first part of the mission! I hope you guys enjoyed this. Please let me know what you think and help make my last days at uni feel a little bit less like death._


	14. Inbound

_Happy New Year, everyone_

Genma kept a tight arrowhead formation with him leading, Aoba and Raido on either ends and Sakura right behind him. He'd made the mistake of thinking Sakura wouldn't be able to keep up for long, but after she 'accidentally' stepped on the back of his sandals twice, he took the hint and sped up to an almost breakneck run through the trees.

Raido and Aoba had complained plenty about going in with an untested chunin on the way to the Senju compound and he had to reign in his own anxiety on the matter. They would act like Sakura was a full fledged jounin and if she showed any signs of fatigue, they would slow down. For now, his goal was to reach Iwa in two days.

When they finally stopped for the night, letting their packs fall on a gathering of trees, the crescent moon was already high up in the sky and they'd been running in the dark for a couple of hours. All four of them were winded, but he was relieved to see Sakura wasn't much worse than they were.

"Here you go, Flower." He nudged her elbow with the water pouch they were sharing. "You have first watch."

"Thanks, jiji." She replied reflexively and took a few gulps before passing it back to him. "Do you think we'll reach Iwa tomorrow?"

She sat down next to Aoba and accepted the ration he offered her with a slight nod. Genma sat on the other side of them next to Raido and moved his senbon around on his mouth, not touching his food.

"Anko is going to be okay." Raido nudged him with his shoulder but Genma kept his face to the forest floor.

"It's been almost a week." He took a deep breath. "You and I both know we can't be sure of anything at this point."

The small clearing was filled with uneasy silence, the darkness around them seeming overwhelming to Genma. His chest felt constricted, like someone was sitting on it. He had lost enough friends over the years, Anko was one of the few good ones he still had and he wasn't ready to let himself dwell on her situation much.

"Mitarashi Anko?" Sakura asked, her voice low and sharp. Genma looked at her and had a hard time finding the fourteen-year-old girl she was supposed to be. He imagined she'd had to grow up fast — they all had to — and that she probably was as much a kid as he was at this point in her career. It was still jarring to see how she transformed when on a mission. It was like someone else had taken her place and she stood that much taller, her eyes noticing every single detail around her even as her chakra remained sealed to less than half of what it was.

Sakura on a mission didn't look like a girl at all. She looked like a five foot six pile of pure muscle and _kunoichi._ He could count more than seven weapons on her — some of them really well hidden — and the uniform she wore most days seemed somehow more like an armor.

"Yes, that's right." Raido answered when he didn't. "We all were at the same class at the Academy."

"Ah." Sakura nodded again, this time more pensively. "She was one of the proctors for my chunin exams."

"So was I, kiddo." Genma smirked at her, pushing the chill he felt at seeing her so transformed away and giving himself an internal shake. Head, say goodbye to ass. "But I don't remember you fighting in the arena."

"That's because I didn't." Sakura shrugged.

"How the hell did you become a chunin without making it into the final rounds?" Aoba was looking perplexed at her and Genma could feel the judgement from afar and didn't really blame him. Sakura had a lot to prove on this mission if she couldn't even qualify for the finals during the chunin exams.

"Field promotion." Sakura's voice was clipped and it signaled the end of conversation for the night.

Genma admitted that he was curious about that. He remembered the first time he saw her, covered in blood with just her wrappings and mesh shirt to cover herself, three bodies on the ground as she bared her teeth to the enemy that was about to end her. She'd already been a chunin at that point so that meant she had received her field promotion right after the Konoha Crush.

The Council must have pushed for it, he decided. It made sense to put a fierce kunoichi like her as a chunin, specially with how much damage control they'd been doing for the past year. _Cannon fodder_, his mind supplied and he shivered. Field promotions always happened when the village was unbalanced and it scared him that Tsunade had sent her on this mission without considering that Sakura had been wrongly promoted.

Sure he knew she was good. During their sparring sessions he could see how she was always improving herself and her movements were fluid and unpredictable, keeping him on his toes. That didn't mean he thought she'd survive if he went all out on her. He was still a jounin and she was still a chunin, after all, but what did that say about this mission?

Anko's squad was composed of two jounin besides her and one veteran chunin and they'd still been captured. That meant the enemy was either much more powerful than speculated or their numbers exceeded what the mission intel had gathered.

They went to sleep without much more conversation that night, Sakura's sharp gaze watching over them and a perimeter set. Genma was woken up by Aoba for the last shift and he sat on a branch up high and watched the sunrise. Not even fiddling with the senbon between his lips could calm the nervous energy coursing through him.

Ideally, this mission would have gone to an Anbu tracking squad — preferably with Hatake in it — and the situation could be handled as safely as possible. With the shortage of shinobi in the village and particularly how Kakashi never seemed to be at Konoha for more than three days at a time, they had to make do. Raido and him had just gotten back from missions and were still tired and the only source of intel was Anko's tiny snake that came with the appropriate coordinates and code for rescue. If the enemy moved their base, they would have to do the tracking by themselves.

"You should be sleeping," he spoke around the senbon, not bothering to turn and look at Raido who had perched himself silently on the three branch beside him.

"You woke me up with all the sighing you've been doing," Raido joked and nudged his shoulder with his. "We need to keep our heads clear if we're to get this right, Genma."

"I know," Genma grunted. They stood in silence for a while, both of them watching the sky get lighter.

"I didn't expect you to know the iryo-nin." Raido looked at him sideways. "Much less for the two of you to have _nicknames_ for each other."

Genma knew what he was implying but didn't rise up to the bait. The casual way he'd teased her before and her immediate response despite having kept a professional tone with him so far had been completely unintended on both their parts but it couldn't be helped.

Sakura was young, that much he was aware, but he still considered her as a friend.

"We spar sometimes and we've met up around the village." Genma frowned at his best friend. "And it's not like you're implying."

Raido raised his hands in surrender. "Hey, I'm not judging. She's a fine kunoichi from where I'm standing."

"She's _fourteen_." Genma narrowed his eyes.

"Huh." Raido stared dumbly at him. "She looks older." He scratched at his scar. "I feel kind of gross now."

"She's fourteen," Genma said again, this time in a voice so quiet he barely heard it. The weight on his shoulders became that much heavier.

"She must be good." Raido looked at him. "You wouldn't waste your time sparring with her if she wasn't. Do you not think she can handle this mission?"

"She's fucking amazing for a chunin that has had exactly one year of experience, Raido." Genma pinched the bridge of his nose. "This mission should have been given to Anbu."

Raido was silent for a while, his gaze like a heavy weight on Genma's shoulders before he spoke up, his voice quiet but strong.

"But it was given to us instead."

Genma wanted to rip his hair out. They'd just come back from a week long mission in Kumo and he had barely had any sleep and now one of his friends was being held hostage in the border with Iwa while the other, much more inexperienced one, was the _medic_ on the rescue mission.

"Look, you have two options here." Raido turned him around by the shoulders so that he could look him in the eye. "You either believe in your Hokage's choice and Haruno's abilities and see this mission through or you start second guessing everything about this and gets us all killed."

Genma stared wide eyed at his best friend for a second before a snort escaped him. He punched him in the shoulder.

"Your pep talk is still shit, asshole." He smirked at him. "Wake the others up. We leave in ten."

"There are twenty one ninja in the compound." Genma stared blankly as Aoba retold what his stakeout had resulted and wondered how they had gotten into this mess. "Four of them just changed stations and are outside doing a perimeter check."

"This is the best time to move in, then." Raido took a kunai out of his thigh pouch and nodded at him.

"Intel said there were _seven _missing nin in the compound." Sakura had her arms crossed over her chest and an annoyed frown on her features. "How the fuck did we get such unreliable info on a mission so close to Iwa?"

Genma exchanged a look with Raido before meeting her gaze. He saw by how her features darkened that she reached the same conclusion they had. Before he could speak it out loud, though, Sakura raised her finger to her lips to shush him. With quiet steps, she moved around the small clearing, placing tags on the barks of the four threes without saying anything. When she was done, she came back to where they were huddled together and spoke up.

"We have a mole, then."

"What was that?" Raido asked as he and Genma examined the carefully woven seals on one of the tags.

"Looks like a privacy seal," Genma pondered out loud.

"I didn't know you knew anything about fuinjutsu, Genma." Sakura cocked her head to the side.

"I learned my way around it when I was on the Guard Platoon for the Yondaime." Sakura's eyes widened a bit but he didn't let her speak up. "Why did you put them up?" It wasn't really what he wanted to ask, of course, but they didn't have much time and he figured he could leave the question of just how did she know enough of fuinjutsu to make her own tags for later.

Sakura cleared her throat. "During my first mission as a captain, a group of missing nin managed to listen to our plans and later on ambushed us so I figured looking into privacy seals was a good idea. Who did the initial report on this compound?"

"Anko's team," Raido answered, his voice as grave as his face.

"You think someone inside Konoha is working with these missing nin?" Aoba scratched his head. "Why would someone do that?"

"I don't _think_ anything." Genma moved his senbon around his mouth. "It's most definitely one of the ninja on Anko's team. We may have to fight eighteen ninja today, folks."

"There's only four of us, Taichou!" Aoba fiddled with his glasses. "Some of the chakra signatures I picked up were strong."

"I could send a clone to get a better layout of their chakra," Sakura offered. "It will be pretty much undetectable under a genjutsu and it will get closer than Aoba-san can. Let's see what we're up against before we rush in on such odds."

Genma nodded at her. "Do it."

Sakura weaved a seal and with a quiet pop another one of her appeared. The clone sent Sakura a quick nod before weaving a seal herself and completely disappearing, her chakra fluid and barely present.

"No smoke." Raido raised his eyebrows.

"There's no unnecessary chakra expended if you have enough control," Sakura shrugged. "I only used about two percent of my chakra on that clone. As soon as it releases we'll kno — " She stopped mid sentence, a frown gracing her features one more. "There's only four jounin level ninja in the compound. One of them is in the middle of it while the other three are in a back room. I think it's safe to assume that the enemy forces only have one jounin." She took a deep breath and her eyes focused. "Six chunin level ninja and ten others who could pass for genin or even civilians."

"The odds are fairly better, I guess." Raido returned his kunai to his pouch and rested his hand there, waiting for Genma to give out further orders.

"No matter what level they are, we can't attack twenty ninja that have hostages with them." Genma bounced ideas around in his head, his eyes wandering around the tiny clearing and falling on Sakura. Her bottom lip was in between her teeth and he knew she wanted to say something. "What, kid?"

"I can get to the hostages without the enemy knowing I'm there," she said quietly.

"It's too dangerous," Raido blurted.

"It's our only choice." Sakura was firmer this time. She lifted her chin and squared her shoulders. "I can get inside, heal them and as soon as I signal, we both attack from opposites sides."

"How do you plan on getting past the sentinels?" Genma asked.

"Aren't you an assassination specialist?" She smirked a bit. "I'm sure you can handle taking three genin and a chunin out without making a fuss."

Genma rolled his eyes at her sass but chose not to comment on it. Raido's words from earlier came back to him. As much as he hated putting her in that position, Sakura had just presented a very valid solution to their problem. They talked some more, hashing out the details of the plan before he finally nodded at her.

"I trust you." It was a concession and a warning but Sakura only smiled.

It was a smile so brilliant and unexpected that Genma was floored for half a second before returning it.

"Move your pretty little ass, Blossom." He grinned at her, his own resolve settling as he felt her reduce her chakra so much and make it so smooth, he couldn't feel a difference between her and the three behind her.

"When we all get back to Konoha," she disappeared from their view just like her clone had, "you'll owe me a fuinjutsu lesson, old pervert."

_My dudes, something terrible happened. My computer broke down with everything I had written for this fic (and quite a few Adobe files) and I was completely ruined for about two weeks when I realised I had saved original drafts of the chapters on my google drive ha ha. I lost quite a few updated versions of things but all in all I managed to keep my chapters. Sorry about the delay, it was because I wanted to die._

_BUT new year, new life, your crazy author is officially BACK and I've been writting a lot recently. Sorry for the short chapter, it was really transitiony and sucky but more will come soon, promise. Next chapter our baby Sakura is going to show them all she's not much of a baby anymore. Next chapter is one of my favourites actually. You'll see._

_I absolutely LOVE writing Genma, you guys, he's such a sweet baby I love him. Getting into his mindset was surprisingly easy and he's become a more important character than what was initially planned for him. Oh well, at this point I'm just rolling with it. Hope you guys enjoy it. This chapter was from his perspective because I wanted to show Sakura's progress through someone else's eyes. We don't normally realise how far we've come and I think Sakura is at that point where she knows she improved but she's still more focused on getting better and better and can't really appreciate just how good she already is. It's time people start noticing._

_Anyways, my loves, I just wanted to take the time to thank you all for all your love and support. I'm really sorry I haven't been able to get back to all of you when you guys review but I get so anxious sometimes, it's kinda hard for me. I want you guys to know that I read every single one of them, sometimes more than once haha, and they mean so much to me. You guys really make me feel so good about writing this and I'm so happy I get to share this little piece of madness with y'all. In about five days it'll be a year of writing this and, really, you guys keep me going. I'll do something for that date, what do you guys suggest?_

_See you soon :__ )_


	15. Mission Complete

Sakura moved closer to her position, feeling her teammate's chakra signatures spreading out on the compound, each of them targeting one sentinel. She didn't bother staying away from any of them, simply walked towards the back of the compound where the room that held the three jounin and a chunin was. She trusted her comrades to take out the ninja outside.

Her blood was rushing through her veins, pumping hot with excitement as she approached a window. She didn't particularly _like_ killing whenever she was ordered to but being there, right under the enemy's nose undetected was something she had rather come to enjoy. Every mission she completed, every enemy she outsmarted brought a sense of fulfillment to her like nothing else.

For the first time in all her life she could look at her accomplishments and be satisfied. Her training wasn't complete by any means but she had gotten good enough to not let her progressing skills hinder her in the field. She learned how to hide her disabilities in battles and how to use everything she had to her favor. She wasn't done, no, but she was good. Her mission success rate proved that.

Two men passed over the window she was looking through. One of them was short and stocky and looked like he could break her neck by squeezing it between two fingers. The other was only slightly taller but considerably skinnier. They wouldn't look like much if it weren't for the countless weapons strapped to their bodies and the dark brown paint on their faces. Like crusted blood.

Sakura frowned and molded her chakra to a thin string, directing it through the open window and letting it settle a perimeter on the floor, walls and ceiling next to it. The genjutsu she cast using that tiny amount of chakra wasn't enough to fool a jounin level ninja but it would be enough to make whoever came across that hallway suddenly have the urge to turn back around.

With that part over, she nimbly climbed over the windowsill and slipped inside the hallway. The two goons were still walking towards the end of the hall towards a windowless room where she hoped Anko and her team were being held.

Sakura was completely in her element at that moment, sneaking up to her prey in the cover of her genjutsu, preparing to knock them unconscious with another use of her affinities to the art of illusion. Just before they reached the door, she weaved the signs for two genjutsu simultaneously and stretched her arms forward to catch them when they feel back.

With chakra pumping through her muscles, she bound them both together, took their weapons and threw them outside the window. Sakura turned back to the door and rummaged in her pouch for lockpicks. She wasn't the best at it because she never really had to practice much, but the fact that she knew the mechanics behind the whole process and that it strongly resembled a puzzle helped in assuring she had it done in under two minutes.

She had to move fast now, before there was a shift change or someone noticed they were missing six ninja. She pushed the door open and almost cringed back. The smell of blood and decay was strong and if she hadn't spent some of her time at the morgue, she might have thrown up.

The room was bare but for the bodies on the floor. Two of them huddled in one corner, one of them laid down on the other corner with what looked to be Anko's coat covering them and the woman herself, only wearing her mesh shirt and pants, right in the middle of the room.

Sakura was surprised to find her conscious and even more that she had the strength to bare her teeth at Sakura.

She put her hands up and approached her slowly.

"I'm here to rescue you, Mitarashi-san," Sakura kept her voice steady as she prepared herself to start her triage and defend herself at the same time. "I'm here with Genma, Raido and Aoba."

Sakura thought that even if the woman before her hadn't been clearly dehydrated, she wouldn't have cried but the sheer, unadulterated relief that she felt was betrayed by how her shoulders relaxed and she swayed a little even while sitting down.

"The Hokage sent me a pink haired kid and three doofus." Anko's voice was raspy and her eyes fought against the weight of her lids. "Great."

"I'm sure you'll appreciate it better when you're safe back in Konoha, Mitarashi-san," Sakura quipped before finally reaching a hand to her wrist, instinctively knowing the woman wouldn't take well to being touched anywhere else. She concentrated on the feeling of Anko's week, barely there chakra network and coached her own through it, assessing the damage quickly.

"Cut that Mitarashi-san crap, Pinky." Anko coughed. "Name's Anko."

"Sakura," she replied softly, before she reached inside her pouch and gave her two pills. "Blue one first. Wait two minutes before taking the soldier pill. What's your teammate's status?"

"Kaito and Kenzou fell asleep a few hours ago. Hirako is dead." Anko's voice was blunt, the nutrition pill Sakura had given her already taking effect. "There is also the tiny fact that there is a — "

"Take three small sips," Sakura interrupted and handed her a water canteen. "You have too many wounds for me to heal right now. I'll work on damage control, enough for you to fight, and after we're gone I'll fix the rest of it." Even as she talked, her chakra was already doing as she said, coaching Anko's cells to reproduce and multiply accordingly. It was clear from her injuries that she had suffered through some type of torture. "About the other important factor concerning your teammates, we're already aware of it and we'll deal with it after we're all free."

Sakura got up and went to the other two huddled in the corner and healed them as best as she could without spending much of her chakra. If only there was a way to fight dehydration with medical ninjutsu. For now, they would have to make do with her nutrition pills and the soldier pills.

With all three of them woken up, healed and carrying the weapons from their guards, Sakura nodded at them.

"Yosh." Sakura adjusted her gloves. "As soon as I give the signal, we'll attack from this side and the others from the outside. Hopefully they'll attract more attention than us. Remember that the soldier pills and the patch up healing isn't enough to leave you to your full abilities, so I think I should take point on this one."

Sakura kept her eyes on the three of them as she talked, monitoring their chakra fluctuations and mannerisms.

"Once that wall," she pointed to the one that the corpse of their teammate was resting against, "is gone, we'll reach the main hall where most of the enemy ninja are awaiting. Be prepared for attacks on all sides."

Kaito was looking at her with fear and trepidation in his eyes while Kenzou tightened his fists around the katana he was holding. Sakura looked closely at them both for a second, noticing how Kenzou's eyes seemed to darken with something like anger and determinations, his whole body vibrating with nervous energy.

"We are greatly outnumbered, Sakura-san," Kaito said, his voice quivering just so.

Sakura narrowed her eyes. "Are you not shinobi of the Leaf?" Anko snorted but Sakura ignored her. "All three of you are jounin of Konoha, you have weapons and you can walk. You will fight and we'll get out of here." Sakura had taken Inner's proffered mask of fierce determination, the thrill of the impending fight rushing down her spine. She smiled at them, a dangerous smile that was more bared teeth than anything else. An intimidation tactic and reassuring gesture all in one.

Kaito squared his shoulders and nodded at her before tightening his hitai-ate.

It was deliberate. She wanted to see how they would react to her façade. She knew from experience that those against her cowered when faced with it but her teammates always stood up straighter at the sight of that particular smile. It was good to have a monster on your side unless… Her eyes zeroed in on Kenzou.

Unless you weren't really on its side.

"Kenzou!" She called out and threw a scroll at him. "Seal your teammate's body in that."

Kenzou stared wide eyed at the scroll, the nervous energy she had noticed before increasing by the second. He moved to the corpse hurriedly and sealed it up without a second look before taking his place behind her and slightly to her left, scroll firmly into his pouch.

She had expected to find only three team members inside that room, the other having defected to join the band of missing nin in the compound. Now, she knew exactly what had happened.

"You're not gonna blow that wall up, are you Pinky?" Anko scowled at her. "Because that would be really stupid."

Sakura snorted. "I'm not gonna blow it up, _Mitarashi-san_." Sakura enjoyed seeing the tick on Anko's eyebrow. Really, the woman deserved it for insisting on that wretched nickname. "You should still step back, though."

And without another warning, Sakura rushed forward. With chakra gathered on her fist, she let it collide with the wall before sending it to web out. The whole wall was instantly pulverized and the small particles of dust that resulted flew over the hall, obscuring their enemy`s vision.

Sakura immediately detected the closest chakra signatures, even with her vision impaired, and sent out four senbon to take them down. The sound of them hitting the ground was covered by her team's entrance through the front door. The dust cleared out and she could see all of them, weapons ready and fingers weaving signs for ninjutsu that only elite could do.

Her first year as a chunin and she had mostly been sent on missions in which she was team leader, only a few times serving under a jounin, so this was the first mission she got to see them truly at work. It was intoxicating.

Sakura's own skills seemed to improve, her senses sharpen, her blood pump faster. Being around better ninja made her reach that extra mile and she knew she had never fought like this. Her body was weightless liquid, changing forms and stances constantly, slashing down men with her tantou or just merely punching right through their chests.

The three ninja behind her barely had to do any work, only fight off the occasional ninja who came from different rooms from behind them. However, Kenzou — who was supposed to be taking care of Sakura's left flank — seemed to be lagging.

Sakura dodged a swing of a kunai and dove under the enemy's arm before using her momentum to bury her tantou right into his heart, her lower stature making it easy to angle the blade up and bypass his body's natural protective bone structure. Without stopping, she picked Kenzou from the scruff of his neck and shoved him in front of her.

"Don't fall back!" She yelled over the sound of dozens of dying men.

They fought through another wave of ninja and it was over. Sakura didn't know who had been the one to kill the last missing nin but suddenly Genma was saying something and Anko was barking a laugh and Raido was grinning.

"You look like a complete psycho, Blossom," Genma laughed at her and he looked pleasantly surprised. "You and Anko will be best friends pretty soon, I'm betting."

"Oi!" Anko punched him in the shoulder. "I'll show you psycho, Shiranui."

"No fighting, children." Raido stepped between them, his hands in the air. "I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get back to Konoha."

Sakura sheathed her tantou and wiped her bloodied hands on her pants.

"We were supposed to take some of them in for questioning," Aoba said, his hand on his hip as he looked around at the bodies littering the floor of the hideout.

Sakura didn't really know how to feel about them treating the carnage before them so lightly. A part of her — the part of her that had been nurtured by her parents and that thought ladies shouldn't fight — thought it was appalling the sheer disregard for life they were showing.

She had squashed that part of her pretty thoroughly in her year and a half as a shinobi.

Now all that was left was a slight remorse for the people these ninja might have been and even then, it didn't really factor into her conscience because at the end of the day, those ninja were standing between her and ensuring her teammate's safety.

It was with that thought in her mind that Sakura stretched her arms and rolled her neck.

"I'm so tired." She whined in a soft voice. She saw Aoba, Genma and Raido looking at her questionably and the other shinobi's barely contained disgust when she gave a girlish giggle, soft and airy. "But you don't need to worry Aoba-san. I got that part handled."

"What did you do, Petal?" Genma's eyes met hers and she thought she saw recognition in their dark depths.

"I have a couple of guys tied up in the back." She winked at him. "I'll go get them and we'll meet up at our last camp?"

Genma frowned. "Someone should go with you." Oh, yes. He definitely had caught on to her tactics.

"I'll go." Kenzou approached her from the left and Sakura wanted to smile in satisfaction but didn't.

"Thanks, Kenzou." She started leading the way back to the room they had been held captive. "Come on."

They walked in silence until they reached the window she had climbed through and Sakura smiled up at him.

"Give me a hand?" She barely waited for him to reach out before enclosing his hand with hers, the tip of her middle finger finding his pulse.

"What the — " Kenzou fell to his knees.

"You know, it's really easy to lower someone's heartbeat if you know your way around the human body." Sakura's voice was low and steady. "Right now it's enough that with how dehydrated and tired out from the after effects of the soldier pill, your body can't handle standing up."

"You fucking bitch." Kenzou spat at her.

Sakura shrugged.

"Been called worse." She took his chin with her other hand and tilted it up so he would look her in the eye. "At first I thought the mole had been deliberately leading Anko's team into a trap because they were somehow affiliated with the syndicate but it wasn't until I saw you that I got it."

"How did you…" Kenzou slurred, his eyelids drooping.

Sakura slipped into her mask as easily as putting on your favourite coat was.

"You led them somewhere you knew they would be outnumbered but not outmatched and hoped that in the chaos you'd be able to run away, defect from Konoha." She laughed, the sound flat and cold. "Do you know the first important lesson I got as a ninja?"

Kenzou was still awake but slipping fast as Sakura bent down to whisper.

"Those who don't follow the rules are trash but those who abandon their friends are worse than trash." She bared her teeth at him, her eyes locking on his and relishing the fear she found there. "I hate people like you and I wish I could crush your throat and watch you choke on your own blood but death it's too merciful for you."

Kenzou's eyes, wet with tears of desperation, rolled behind his head and he slumped against her. Sakura sighed, let go of the tension on her shoulders and hauled him out of the window like she'd done the two goons from before.

Genma and the others were waiting for her.

"You know," he drawled. "You sounded just like Kakashi right there."

"Fuck off." Sakura scowled at him and moved to Kaito, her hands glowing green as she moved to heal him.

"Eh?" Raido scratched at his scar. "You're Kakashi's genin?"

"She's not Kakashi's anything," Genma mocked her at the same time as she said, "I'm not Kakashi's _anything._"

Genma sent Raido a look that said, "See?"

Sakura sneered at him and moved to heal Anko only to have the woman bat her hands away.

"I'm fine, doc."

"I didn't ask," Sakura took the woman's wrist by force and used her chakra so she couldn't dislodge it. She was refraining from touching her anywhere else and she knew Anko appreciated it by how she relaxed a bit. "We need you in top shape when coming back to Konoha because me and Kaito will be busy carrying those idiots back. If we're attacked, I need you to have my back."

"The mission is over, Sakura-san," Aoba stretched. "There's no need to worry about an attack."

Sakura scoffed. "The mission is over when we hand our reports to the Hokage." She slugged Kenzou and one of the goons on her back like two sacks of rice, effortlessly. "If there's something I learned is that Team Seven has shitty luck when it comes to missions."

Sakura didn't miss the looks exchanged between Anko, Raido and Genma but didn't know what to make of it. There was something dark behind it, something that spoke of pain and loss and that held the heavy weight of past horrors. She analysed it, processed it and stored it away in her mind for further wonderings. For now, she had to get three traitors into IT.

Tsunade leaned her elbows on her desk and let her folded hands hide the smirk she was sporting. The shinobi in front of her was ragged and bloodied, having done two A-Ranks back to back wasn't exactly easy, even if they had been both successful.

"You didn't want to take Sakura did you, Shiranui?" Tsunade didn't miss the way his eyes travelled quickly towards Shizune before snapping back to her. How amusing it was to see them both skirting around each other. "I just heard from Ibiki that one of the shinobi you caught was a recently deserted Iwa ninja. I ought to give you a bonus for that. That is, of course, if you have anything to say on Sakura's performance."

Genma snorted, shaking his head a little bit.

"I knew she was good you know. There was never a doubt about her skills." He stepped forward to press a piece of paper into her desk. "This mission proved she could do more than be a good sparring partner, though. She can follow orders just fine but when she's in a leader position is when she shines. She works well under pressure, she can create and execute plans flawlessly and her gut instinct is strong. When we were out there, it didn't feel like we were a jounin squad trying to work around our only chunin member."

"What are you saying, Genma?" Tsunade narrowed her eyes at him and then at the paper in front of her. If he was implying what she thought he was…

"I'm saying it is my duty as a jounin of the Leaf to officially recommend Haruno Sakura for the Jounin Exams." He nodded at the piece of paper. "There are four signatures in there from the other jounin present in the mission."

"She's fourteen," Tsunade spoke before she realised she was going to. Her heart was constricting painfully in her chest for some reason and she fought hard against a frown.

Genma moved the senbon around his mouth a few times before answering. She was sure his eyes were seeing deep into her soul. She didn`t like it.

"She's a highly skilled chunin who stands a chance of passing the Jounin Exams," he said simply, like anything about it was simple _at fucking all._

"The council will not—"

"Are you trying to find excuses for not making her a candidate?" He interrupted her before she could finish her sentence and it was enough to make her hiss.

"Get out."

Tsunade didn`t yell and throw things at him like she normally would and perhaps that was the bigger indicator of all that he should be getting the fuck away from there. She wasn`t surprised when he bowed his exit but she most certainly wasn`t expecting his parting words to hit her so hard.

"Forgive me, Hokage-sama. I only have Sakura's best interests in mind."

_Hey, guys! Sorry for the wait, it`s been hell not having a computer, I'm currently posting this on a public on and let me tell you the keyboard is absolute rubbish._

_I was so excited for this chapter, I hope you guys liked it as much as I did haha, please let me know what you think!_

_Poor Tsunade, yo, she's having to come to terms with the fact that she actually loves that pink haired brat and what it means for her as a Hokage. Sending your pseudo-daughter to missions was hard but imagine how much harder it would be for her with Sakura as a jounin? And a civilian borne one at that._

_You guys, are so so so fucking wonderful in your reviews, it leaves me breathless sometimes the amount of support I'm receiving from people I don't even know! Please continue to do so, it's my greatest motivator and you know it makes me write faster haha Love you all 3_


	16. Once Broken Cannot be Fixed

Sakura crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her head to the side.

"Come on, Pinky." Genma squeezed her upper arms and shook her a little. "It's tradition!"

Sakura scoffed and glared at him until he took his hands off her. He smirked. Sakura's glower deepened. Cheeky bastard.

"I'm not going to a bar with you, pervert." She turned back to the genin behind the missions assignment desk and smiled a bit aggressively at him. "Are you sure you don't have any C-Ranks for me?"

"I'm sorry, Haruno-san, I can't give you any missions outside the village for another two days." The skinny man paled when he looked at her and Sakura took it as a cue to restrain her attitude.

"You make it sound like I'm asking you on a date," Genma reminded her of his presence. "It's tradition after an A-Rank for everybody to get shitfaced drunk."

"It's a _jounin_ tradition," Sakura reminded him.

She turned around and started to walk out of the Tower, intent on finding something to do at the hospital. She was sure a lot of nightmares would plague her that night — it usually went like that after a mission — and she would only let herself rest if she was completely exhausted. It was better that way.

"Yeah, well." Genma easily kept up with her as they walked outside. "It was a jounin mission which you happened to be a part of. In that case, you absolutely can't break tradition."

Sakura shot him a deadpan look and his smirk only widened in reply. She sighed.

"I'm not dressing up — " Genma hooted in victory but she ignored him. "I'm not going until after I finish a shift at the hospital and you're paying."

She narrowed her eyes at him once more, just to make sure he knew how inconvenient he was being before walking away.

"See you at eight, Sweet Cheeks!" He called back to her and laughed when a pair of ninja leaving the Tower looked at him strangely.

Sakura hastened her stride and hoped they didn't think the comment was for her. Sometimes Konoha looked less like a village filled with serious shinobi and more like a gossip hub. And the ninja were the worst.

The last thing she needed was a rumor about her having something with a ninja twice her age.

Working at the hospital had become much more bearable after her confrontation with Momoe but a thousand times more difficult in some aspects. Most of the nurses were afraid of her now and, usually, she only went there when the more serious cases required it or if she was going to meet Shizune for some poison work.

When she got there, a harried looking genin medic-nin bowed low and said there weren't any cases in need of immediate attention even though Sakura could see the janitors cleaning the blood on the floor towards the ICU. That could only mean one thing.

"Are you sure they don't need any help in there?"

"Sakura-sensei, I'm terribly sorry," the girl bowed, "but I don't have any access to that case and… neither do you."

ANBU.

The only place that Sakura had been forbidden of going was the back of the ICU where the shadow corps took care of their more grievously wounded. They took their identity very seriously and only authorised medics were allowed to treat them even though most people knew who was in Anbu and who wasn't.

However, it made sense to bar all unnecessary staff from treating Anbu operatives. A good medic could tell a lot just from looking at injuries and it wouldn't do to have all types of classified information leaking around the village.

With a frown, Sakura pulled up the sleeves of her shirt and tidied her hair.

"I'll just have to do some rounds at the Emergency Unit, then."

The rest of the day was spent treating minor injuries and setting bones. It seemed like this was one of those days that literally everybody seemed to be out of the village, finishing up their missions and almost no one was due back. It didn't matter because all Sakura needed was to keep her hands busy.

She needed to feel her chakra being used for something other than destruction. It was kind of therapeutic to help cells multiply instead of strengthening her own so she could punch a hole through someone's chest. She hoped this tiny bit of balance she brought to the universe was enough to keep the worst of her nightmares away from her usual breakdown after a mission.

It didn't matter that the mission was a success or not, Sakura always needed a couple of days to go back to her intense training routine after a mission. While she had come to appreciate the thrill of being out in the field, actively doing something to help, she was self-aware enough to know it still was a sort of trigger for her.

The couple of days after a mission were always filled with flashbacks and periods of time in which she was either too riled up or in which she didn't see time passing at all.

That night she headed to the bar and had her first taste of alcohol.

She sat on a table with Anko, Genma, Raido, Aoba and Kaito and downed shot after shot with them. After a while, her belly was warm and her body felt light. She was pleasantly dizzy and everything made her want to laugh and it was only then that she got why it was tradition.

They were all like her, she mused as Genma helped the hiccupping disaster that was her body into her bed, just before sunrise. Because while Sakura couldn't really focus much on anything, she did notice that Genma's senbon was bouncing more than usual, his grin wider or that Anko was loud and inappropriate or even that Raido couldn't keep still for longer than exactly thirty-three seconds.

They were feeling just like her and probably had the same troubles she did, only with almost a decade and a half more of experience and trauma to add on to that.

Sakura fell asleep that night feeling better. She understood what Genma was trying to say through his actions now. She wasn't alone, there were others just like her who had to grow up too fast and they all had each other's backs.

Sakura woke up the next day feeling like she was underwater. Her limbs were heavy and her eyes unfocused and a constant ache pounded behind her eyes. With a groan, she got up to make herself some tea.

The house was silent and from the lack of dirty dishes, Sakura knew Tsunade hadn't even come back last night. It wasn't an uncommon thing but it still worried her. If a wave of nausea hadn't hit her, she would definitely be considering searching for her shishou to help her out with whatever work she was buried under.

"Oh, shit." Sakura leaned her head against the fridge and tried to will her stomach's contents down. The chill was good on her head but it made the rest of her body shiver so she quickly gave up on that and forced herself to go through the process of making the strongest tea possible.

Swallowing anything down seemed like the last thing she should be doing but after draining her cup, she felt marginally better. Good enough to be able to walk in a straight line towards her bathroom.

Deciding if she sat on the tub, she would fall back asleep, Sakura discarded the idea of a bath and turned the knob to the fullest. After a while of staying under the strong stream of hot water, she managed to slip into a meditative state by focusing on the flow of the stream pushing against the back of her neck. Her chakra seemed to tune in to that frequency almost instinctively and when it did, Sakura had an easier time controlling it.

She focused her attention on her liver, activating the cells there and encouraging them with her chakra to work faster on filtering the alcohol in her system. It was a slow process, mostly because she wasn't in any hurry and also because while she was confident in her abilities, it was never a good idea to meddle with complex things on a cellular level when she could barely see straight.

After a while, she felt good enough to step out of the shower. Her headache was still present but it wasn't enough of a bother at the moment and she knew it was only going away after she drank enough water to replenish what she lost.

Sakura put on her uniform slowly, almost languidly, before heading out. It was only after a hearty breakfast on her favourite café that a harried Kotetsu found her.

"Sakura!" He panted. "Tsunade-sama needs you at the hospital. It's an emergency."

Sakura was already moving before he even stopped speaking. They both took to the rooftops, the civilians around them looking on annoyed.

"Do you know anything about it?" Sakura asked him, her tone serious.

"I know she's been in there with Shizune since last night." Kotetsu scowled. "They're in the Red Section."

Red Section was what almost everybody called the intensive care unit reserved for Anbu members. If Sakura was right, the trail of blood she'd seen leading to its doors may be from the same people Shizune and Tsunade have been treating for over twelve hours. The name had been given to how common it was to see the floors around it shining with blood.

Anbu operatives were as bad as the jounin in the village when it came to going to the hospital, specially because there was an infirmary on Headquarters, so if the Red Section was being used—specially by not only Shizune, but also _Tsunade_—then it was a sure thing that whoever was in there was fighting for their lives.

Sakura sped up.

Tsunade had made a point not to give her access to Anbu cases and if she was calling for Sakura like that, it was because something had gone terribly wrong. Not one for caring about etiquette during a crisis, she jumped through the open window at the top floor where her shishou's chakra pulsed angrily.

"Do you have the test results or not?" She heard her yell. "It's a simple fucking question!" Something made contact with the wall.

"They're inconclusive, Hokage-sama." A skinny man cowered before her, his robes shining with blood just like the head medic's.

"Shishou," Sakura interrupted before Tsunade could throttle the poor man. "Where do you need me?"

"Where the fuck have you been?" Tsunade glared at her. "Nevermind. Come with me." Then she turned around and went through a set of double doors that Sakura knew marked the entrance to the Red Section.

Four beds were occupied, each of the bodies laying there shaking so much it was a wonder they didn't fall off. Shizune was bent over one of them, another medic helping her hold down the woman on the table.

"What is going on?" Sakura stared in horror at Shizune plunging a yellow liquid into the woman's chest cavity with one hand and extracting it with another, this time the blob of chemicals holding a few drops of neon green liquid.

Poison. Sakura had studied enough of it with her senpai to know that this wasn't any they'd known before. There were a lot of things she realised while her body kicked into gear, instinct taking over and she was moving towards the woman to help hold her down.

The first thing she noticed was that while the shinobi on the tables had open, gaping wounds and torn clothes, there wasn't as much blood as expected. The second thing, and perhaps the most worrisome, was just how tired Shizune looked. While Tsunade's eyes had bags under them as she worked on one of the men, Shizune's hands positively shook and her eyelids drooped.

Sakura would have to step in any second now.

She mentally prepared herself for the procedure Shizune was administering on the woman and listened closely to what Tsunade was saying.

"They arrived from Kumo yesterday, their team captain and this one here," Tsunade pointed at the man whose chest she was inspecting with chakra filled hands, "carried the other two all the way here. Half the team went down from the poison immediately, we haven't been able to make an antidote yet. All we know about it is that it contains a blood coagulating agent that's highly effective, we're struggling to keep their organs functioning long enough to extract the poison."

"I didn't get to that point in my training, Shishou," Sakura's voice didn't shake but she felt cold all of a sudden. The realization of what was going to happen settling in her stomach making it churn. "What do I do?"

"You know the theory, girl. Watch Shizune and I and trust your gut. You can—Fuck." Tsunade furrowed her eyebrows, sweat gathering at her temples. "His lungs are failing. Sakura, take over for Shizune, I need her help on this."

Her body follows the command before she can properly analyse what it's doing. She scrubs her hands thoroughly and as fast as she can, accepts the cirurgical mask the nurse places on her face and moves to take Shizune's place.

The woman is so pale, she already looks half-dead. Sakura checks her vitals and orders someone to hold her down, her voice sounding far away as all her focus is suddenly zoomed in on the person in front of her. She reaches for the chemical concoction and tries to gather it to her right hand but some of it falls on the floor when she moves it to hover above the woman's exposed chest.

She breathes in, closes her eyes and plunges the liquid inside her.

The resistance she finds is expected but jarring all the same. She's so used to tuning her chakra so accutelly to her patient's that there is barely any resistance with the work she's trying to achieve. This is completely different.

It's like even though the woman is too out of it to scream, she can _feel it._ Like every cell in her body is screaming out and beging her to stop. Sakura takes longer than she hoped for to find the particles of poison but when she feels the first one, it's easy to find all of it.

She takes the liquid away with her left hand and dumps it in a bucket without looking. There's still a lot of poison stuck right into the kunoichi's right atrium, the organ itself beating so feebly, it's barely keeping her alive.

"I'm gonna lose her." It didn't sound like her voice but it was her mouth that spoke the words. The moment they're spoken, the machine monitoring her vitals flatlines.

There's a rush of movement where the few nurses allowed inside all work with her to start the resuscitating process and Sakura wouldn't be able to remember it if she tried. She knew it would be in vain the moment she took a look inside the woman's body. Logically, she knew it was a lost cause, but admitting defeat was never her style.

She pumped chakra into her system until she felt chakra burns on her hands and only stopped when one of the nurses shook her roughly by the shoulders. She was dead and the staff were already unhooking her from the machines.

Sakura stares at the woman on the table.

It's a corpse now, she reminds herself. The blood that should have been pumping through her veins is now staining the bedsheets beneath her just like Zabuza's did on the bridge. Just like Haku's. Her skin is losing what little colour and warmth it held fast and soon it will be completely cold.

She knows that because she had touched her fingers to Haku and Zabuza's neck that day. They were cold and clammy from all the water around them and sometimes she still had nightmares about the feeling of their skin beneath her fingertips. It's not something she will ever forget.

Sakura thinks she's fine with the memories the corpse on the table forces upon her. It's becoming easier and easier to push those kinds of thoughts back because Inner knows she'll get a chance to bring it back up during the field. So she knits them into the patchwork of a cloak she shrugs on when needed and paints them on the mask she wears. It's almost a habit now, an afterthought.

What she isn't ready for is the blood bringing flashes of Ino falling to the forest ground so viciously to the forefront of her mind.

She couldn't save the woman. It was logical to think that it wasn't exactly her fault but it didn't matter because she had taken her last breath under Sakura's chakra filled hands and that wasn't a fact that would change anytime soon. All the people she had killed before couldn't possibly have prepared her for the feeling of having someone die on her operating table.

Because while those deaths she could justify—it was for the village, she was completing the mission, it was her _duty_—this one hit close to home.

That woman had two teammates who would wake up happy to be back home only to realize she never will. She had a captain that was sitting on the hallway outside, hearing about the news from the Hokage herself. It was all a reminder of how that day had went. Ino's blood on her, Hinata falling to the hospital floor when they arrived.

Sakura raised a shaky hand to her head and pushed the loose strands back, counting her breaths and willing the darkness on the corner of her eyes away. Nausea made her exhale sharply and her next breath stuttered in her chest.

"Sakura."

She didn't know how long her shishou had been calling for her but when she finally came back to herself, Tsunade was looking at her like she might either pass out or attack her. Sakura's awareness of her surroundings came back slowly and she noticed that Shizune was almost asleep on the only chair in the room, her head resting on the wall behind her. The two nurses there were writing something on the patient's charts and attaching them to fluids.

The body was covered by a white sheet.

"You did good today," Tsunade said. "Go home and rest. I'll see you for dinner, okay?"

Sakura wanted to bare her teeth at her. She did _good?_ What a fucking joke. She wanted to claw at her shishou's face and demand her to actually look at her and tell the truth about how much of a fuck up she was she couldn't even save a woman that had survived all the way from Kumo.

As soon as the violent thoughts entered her mind, though, they left leaving only a hollow feeling behind. Shame and regret welled deep inside her and Sakura lowered her head.

"I'll take Shizune-senpai home." Her voice was barely above a whisper but she knew Tsunade heard her when she squeezed her shoulder.

"Take Hatake with you, he's outside waiting for news of the other two and he still needs some healing." Tsunade scoffed. "The brat refused any, but I trust you to guilt trip him into it."

Sakura ignored the pang in her belly when Tsunade said she trusted her and focused on the other part of the sentence. Hatake Kakashi was the captain outside. The hair on her arms raised when she realised that he had just been told that a teammate—his subordinate, the kunoichi technically under his command—wasn't going to make it.

She may have thought that she had been done with him but just the idea that he was going through what she did with Ino and Hinata made her shudder. There was no time for resentment when he was feeling exactly like she had. It didn't matter that his last dismissal of her had made her give up on rekindling their teacher-student relationship.

Nothing really mattered at that moment because in the end Kakashi was still Team Seven and she couldn't bear the thought of not being there for him at that moment.

She wanted to hold on to the anger and near indifference she had managed to feel towards him. She wanted to stomp her foot and childishly tell her shishou that she could heal the big idiot by herself, turn her back on him like he did her.

She couldn't, of course. When she came back to herself, her feet were already guiding her towards the door and her hands were pushing them open. No matter what happened between them, the need to protect him—just like the need to protect Sasuke-kun and Naruto—was still there.

"They'll make a full recovery," she said, the doors swinging shut behind her. Her eyes immediately fell on the figure leaning heavily against the wall. His mask was covered in blood and his Anbu uniform was so dirty, it was hard to say if he had any injuries at all. "Hound-taichou," she added belatedly, his mask glaring at her like it had on her first chunin mission and the codename coming back to her.

"Sakura." His voice was scratchy and deep, like he hadn't used it in a while and the hollowness in it sent a shiver down her spine.

Sakura took a deep breath, her lungs shaking with the effort. She didn't really know how to proceed, she realised. He looked like he was ready to bolt and she instinctively knew that if she mentioned his teammates anymore he would be gone. No matter what Tsunade-shishou had said, she wasn't in any state of mind to actually convince him of anything.

The only thing she could use at the moment was the truth. She was a medic-nin, he needed healing and they needed to get Shizune home.

"I need your help," she said when he took the tiniest of steps away from her. "Shizune is barely conscious and Tsunade is still busy. I need help getting her home."

Admitting any type of weakness seemed so contradictional to every effort she had put into not being helpless ever again, but she knew it would work on him. At that moment, the man in front of her didn't resemble Kakashi-sensei at all. He was just an Anbu captain who had seen too much, done too much and that had survived another teammate. He would only respond to two things—orders and someone in need of help.

A tiny part of her rejoiced when he followed her back to the operating room, his steps as silent as hers, but mostly she just felt numb. Seeing him freeze at the sight of the covered body when she went to help Shizune up, however, made her snap out of it. Tsunade barely payed them any mind as she barked orders to the other medics to take the samples to the laboratory while she finished up.

"Sen—" Sakura took a deep breath. "Senpai."

Kakashi didn't move.

"_Hound-taichou._" Her voice was sharp and commanding, the same one she used during missions while she lead her team of genin or chunin into dangerous situations. It was a voice that demanded to be heard, she had learned, and hear he did.

He shunshined to her side so fast, she could barely see him moving at all as he took her senpai into his arms, one behind her knees and the other supporting her back. Kakashi barely looked at her as he moved to the hallway and Sakura had to jog to catch up to him. Tsunade-shishou sent them a piercing look that Sakura couldn't decipher before going back to her patients.

She felt like she should ask him to slow down, take it easy, he was still injured but she held the urge. She doubted he would listen even if she managed to speak up.

Kakashi moved to the window at the end of the hall and opened it with his elbow, his movements graceful even in their stiffness as he climbed out leaving only a trail of mud and blood in his wake. Sakura scowled, her breath shortening as she followed him through the village.

Shizune's apartment complex was close to the Hokage Tower and it was late enough at night that no one was around but Sakura almost lost him twice if it hadn't been for her tracking his chakra signature. She actually had to shunshin to catch up to him. He was standing on a balcony's edge, Shizune still in his arms.

It took Sakura a moment to realise he was waiting for her to actually open the balcony door. She couldn't help the glower she sent his way before she crouched and fished two lockpicks from her thigh pouch. It took a few minutes for her to get it right, but she managed not to break the lock in annoyance so she was counting it as a win.

Sakura opened the door cautiously, checking for any traps, and pushed the curtain aside when she didn't find any. She felt more than heard Kakashi walking behind her and it was only because his arm accidentally brushed hers that she felt when it happened.

The skin of his bare upper arm slid against her shoulder briefly but instead of him moving past her, she felt him sliding down the length of her arm. She caught him just before he tumbled to the ground with Shizune but she didn't expect how heavy their combined weight would be and almost got dragged down before instinct took over and chakra gathered at her muscles to help.

"Shit," she mumbled, taking Shizune from his arms with one hand and helping his nearly unconscious body slid to the floor. She glanced at him long enough to establish he was still breathing before stepping over his form to find the bedroom.

She may have been feeling a bit vindictive that the stupid man had made her move so fast when she had spent the day at the hospital.

By the time she put Shizune to bed, the woman was waking up.

"Sakura-chan?" Her voice was weak and slurred.

"Yo, senpai," Sakura gave her the closest thing to a smile she could muster. "You wouldn't happen to know where Kakashi lives, would you?"

"Floor above mine," Shizune blinked rapidly trying to wake herself up but it didn't really help, her eyelids were still heavy and her speech slurred, "one window to the left."

"Roger." Sakura straightened herself up. "You rest now, senpai, before you get yourself into a chakra comma."

And with that, she moved back to the living room only to find Kakashi halfway through the window. Sakura scowled but let him climb out by himself, only moving to grab him when he balanced precariously on the ledge. He pushed her half-heartedly away but she already had chakra on her muscles and his strength was almost laughable.

"'m fine," he mumbled as she tightened her grip on the back of his vest.

"Uh huh," Sakura replied as she channelled chakra to her feet to help them jump to the next level.

Kakashi's apartment didn't have a balcony but it did have an empty flowerbox in which they balanced precariously for a moment as he removed his traps, most of his weight being supported by her. Sakura payed careful attention to the several defence mechanisms he put and moved to put him inside.

Kakashi tried to push her back again and block her way into his apartment but he only managed to unbalance them both, making their entry even clumsier than necessary.

"Boss?" A rough voice called from the bed she had almost fallen into and Sakura recognized Pakkun through the moonlit room.

"Pakkun," Kakashi sighed, leaning his weigh on her when Sakura righted themselves. "You're not supposed to let strange people inside the apartment."

Sakura narrowed her eyes at him but decided against saying anything about how she wasn't a stranger. By the looks and sounds of it, Kakashi was even worse than she expected.

"Where's the bathroom?" Sakura asked sharply, the question aimed at the ninken that immediately jumped to attention. "And the first aid kit, while you're at it."

"Floral Green?" The pug cocked his head to the side. "What's going on?"

"Pakkun!" Sakura frowned at him. "Kakashi is delirious and he's starting to feel really cold. I need to treat him so. Where. Is. The. Bathroom."

"Over here," Pakkun guided her in the dark towards a door to their left and turned the light on himself before opening a cabinet with his mouth and pointing at a white box. "The first-aid kit."

"Thank you," Sakura mumbled, her eyes already roving Kakashi's figure trying to locate the source of his bleeding.

His Anbu uniform was cacked in so much dirt and mud she could barely recognize it. Finding an injury like that was practically impossible and even if she did, she wouldn't be able to treat it when it was that dirty. The medic-nin in her knew the obvious course of action would be to get him into the shower and Sakura had squashed the part of her that cared about decency long ago.

"What are we doin' in my bathroom?" Kakashi mumbled confusedly.

Sakura guided him to the shower and turned the knob on before bending to help him in. She took of his chest guard while his hands pawed uselessly at her arms to push her away. He only succeeded in pushing himself under the spray of hot water. Sakura tutted as he gasped for breath.

"Stupid man," she mumbled under her breath and continued to help him out of his outer layers in search for his wounds. A part of her still balked at the thought that holy shit, she was undressing _Kakashi-sensei_, but she shut it down pretty quickly. She was helping an Anbu taichou out of his uniform to treat his injuries.

She had him down to his undershirt and was on the process of taking his pants down when she realized he was still gasping.

"Taichou?"

His body was shaking and his arms were locked on his sides as he let her hands work on his clothes. His head was turned to the side and slightly up, away from her and his chest stuttered on each harsh, uncontrolled breath he took. From her position at his feet, it looked like he was sobbing.

Sakura quickly got rid of the rest of his uniform, leaving him in only his boxers and undershirt before she moved to take his wrists in her hands.

"Kakashi," she said more urgently when she realised he was working himself up in a frenzy. At this rate, he would hyperventilate.

The force in which he tore himself out of her grip was enough to startle her as he fell back to the wall. His head connected with the tiles with a sickening crack before he slowly slid to the floor, his hands ripping the hound mask out of his face.

Sakura saw his eyes fixate on his gloved hands, the Sharingan tomoe spinning wildly in his socket and his single charcoal eye with its pupil so tiny it was barely a pinprick. He looked like a wild animal, ready to attack at any sign of danger to his injured form.

With a strangled sound, Kakashi tore the gloves from his fingers and frantically began to scrub his hands under the heavy shower. His breath was faster now and Sakura knew she had to act. By then she could identify the source of all the blood—a large mark on his torso and a gash on his thigh—so she focused on that.

"Kakashi," she said, her voice low but firm, "I'm going to heal you now."

With hands glowing a soft green, she approached him, the water drenching her as much as him now. He was mumbling something as she set about coaching the cells in his torso into reproducing faster. His breath had slowed some, but his hands were still rubbing each other raw. She noted with relief his wounds weren't poisoned.

The sight of him made her stomach drop. She knew very intimately what he was going through if only because it was a common occurrence for her too. Get back from a mission, establish everything she needed to do was over and proceed to break down quietly in her not so comforting room by herself.

Only Kakashi wasn't by himself this time and Sakura was assaulted by a mix of emotions at that thought. She was glad she could be there to heal him but she couldn't imagine how he'd feel once he actually came back to himself and realised she had witnessed him in his weakness.

A great shudder racked his body and it was only then that she realised he hadn't been mumbling nonsense.

"Rin," his voice was just above a whisper, so desperate and filled with hurt that her chest ached in response. "Obito, I'm sorry." He gasped lowly. "_Rin._"

She needed to bring him back. She didn't know where he was stuck at the moment, what kind of horrific memory could make his voice sound like that, but she needed to bring him back.

"Kakashi," her voice was louder now, her hands insistent on his. "It's Sakura, we're in your apartment in Konoha. I need to heal your leg. Can you understand me?"

It took a few more moments of her calling his name and holding his hands before he stopped mumbling and gasping and a few more before he actually looked at her instead of through her.

"Sakura."

She didn't know what to do. The moment was more intimate than she had fooled herself into thinking it was and it had nothing to do with the fact he was half-naked and they were both so close to each other. She was there in his private space, seeing him in a state she wasn't sure anyone else had ever seen. She had never been in a situation where she felt so connected to someone.

It broke something between them, she realised. The way he was looking at her was not how he had ever looked at her before.

His eyes used to see right through her when she was a genin under his care. When he stopped being her teacher, he stopped even looking at her, it was like his eyes just couldn't bear the sight of her and now.

And now, he was looking at her like she had made a grave mistake and saved him all at the same time.

"Get out."

His voice was low and emotionless and it was with a start that she realised he must have been using his commander voice with her. It was a strange thought that he had the same defence mechanisms as she did, and that more than anything else was what made her step away from him.

It was like a spell had been broken and she could finally see what was happening.

Her uniform, previously speckled with blood and dirt was completely drenched through. Her hair was halfway out of her braid, matted against the side of her head from the water. Her hands holding his tightly. And, of course, Kakashi.

Half-naked Kakashi with a scowl on his face she had only ever seen him wear before in the middle of a battle.

"_Get out._" His voice took a dangerous undertone that made her suppress a shiver.

But she hadn't conditioned herself all throughout the last year to balk at his tone. With a scowl that rivalled his, she dropped his hands and tilted her chin to glare him down.

"I'm not done healing you." Her voice was the same one she used on the field, the same voice he used on her as an intimidating tactic. The voice of someone who was used to being a captain on the field.

She only looked at him long enough to see the flash of surprise on his face before she lowered her chin, her own face flushing slightly when she realised they were both still very much inside the shower together.

_Get yourself together, Sakura,_ she told herself. It was the only thing she could have done to clean up his wound properly.

With tense muscles, she moved her hand towards his leg—slowly and deliberately. He seemed to have snapped out of the fight or flee mindset from before but she knew how these things went from personal experience and she wasn't taking any chances.

Her chakra tuned to his wavelengths effortlessly and worked on his cells efficiently. She didn't take any longer than necessary, finishing the job almost perfunctorily. It was still hard to miss the way he tensed when their chakra mingled.

"Pakkun." She turned and left the shower without another look at the man standing there. "He already passed out once tonight I don't need him hitting his head."

"I'll call the pack," Pakkun grumbled. "We'll make sure he's okay."

Sakura nodded at him and adjusted her flak jacket. Her back was still turned to Kakashi and he made no move to follow her or even to acknowledge her presence any longer. She would give him the same courtesy.

"Make sure he doesn't sleep in those clothes. If his temperature rises during the night or he isn't awake in the next fourteen hours, call for a medic immediately." Sakura looked seriously at the pug as his droopy eyes moved from her to the jounin behind her a few times.

She wanted to say more. She wanted to turn around and give him a piece of her mind. She wanted to comfort him and punch him in the face for pushing her away even when he knew she had helped. She wanted to reach inside his head and take out whatever memories had caused his breakdown. She wanted to never see him again.

Sakura wanted a lot of things and the need to do _something_ was swirling in her gut so strongly, her whole body tensed for a second. It didn't really matter, though, because in the next moment she had disappeared, not leaving a single bit of smoke on her wake.

.

_WHEW. This chapter was HARD to write, ngl. It's one of my favourites tho. Many important things happen in this one and I hope I captured all the emotional turmoil well enough haha Poor baby boio Kakashi, I love him so much and so does Sakura. I hope you guys enjoyed this one, I feel like I really need feedback at this point lol, I'm stressed._

_We're living history, yo. What's happening out there is insane. My uni shut down completely and I teach English at a private school which also shut down so I've been working from home. I'm in the risk group so I've been staying inside my apartment, dutifully quarantine. Y'all, if you can, please do the same. I'm sooo tired but I'm pretty sure the next chapter is gonna come soon, I hope this update can give you guys a little bit of happiness during these though times. _

_Love you all, stay safe and take care of each other _3


	17. The Birth of the Wolf

The month had passed too slowly for Sakura's liking but it had been enough time for things to go back to normal. Tsunade had cut back on her missions for the past few weeks and as a result she had a lot more down time than she was used to.

It was refreshing, really, to be able to finish some of her personal projects so fast. As a genjutsu type, working with that particular type of jutsu was always rewarding and the intricacies of the work kept Sakura on her toes. It had been nice to be able to sit down and read a new book or practice a new jutsu.

The seal on her forehead was coming along nicely too. Not that Sakura could actually predict how long it would take to perfect it, but she felt it was going great so far. It was always exciting, having something of that magnitude to look forward to.

Having more down time for Sakura meant she had more time to train, however, and she had used every second available to further her abilities. There was only so much she could learn by books and training with her clone, so the past month had been especially dedicated to meeting up with her friends at the training grounds.

During the day she would hang out with Tenten and Lee if they were in the village and when the sun began to set, she would meet Genma at the training grounds behind her house.

Their training had taken a weird turn lately. Instead of giving some pointers on her tantou work, he had actually started giving full out lessons and they were always on the most random of things. Some nights, he blindfolded her like Tsunade had taken to doing and proceeded to attack her from all angles in every possible way.

He taught her the best ways to infiltrate a place during the night if she needed to and how to kill someone with only her hands while still making it look like an accident. Genma guided her through the basics of blending in a crowd and even how to properly seduce a man that couldn't be seduced.

Sakura had taken all of these lessons to heart, confused as to why he was teaching her those specific things but also unable to be anything less than excited about learning new things.

Everyday life had definitely fallen back into an easy routine of training, studying, occasionally meeting friends and ignoring and being ignored by the Copy Ninja.

Ever since that night, something had changed between them. Like a barrier had been broken, some kind of line blurred.

Hatake Kakashi had always been in her head this impossible figure, up high in a pedestal of aloofness and fame sectioned off by a jounin sensei yellow tape but that night had changed her perspective of things.

He was a man. A dangerous, broken, genius of a man but still just a man.

He was just a man that didn't seem to have liked at all the fact that she had seen him break down in the privacy of his apartment, if how he was avoiding her was any indication. But then again, not seeing Kakashi had been the norm every since… ever since Naruto left them.

Sakura reasoned with herself that he was always away on a mission, barely touching his feet on Konoha's ground for more than a few days at a time. Still, it was hard not to notice how he always seemed to be just about ready to leave whenever she arrived somewhere.

"Can you forge my signature for these documents?" Tsunade-shishou slid a pile of paperwork towards her end of the table without looking up from her own pile. "Give them to Shizune when you're done."

Sakura grumbled but did as she was told, briefly checking over the papers as she went. Most of them were ANBU reports that were classified, for the Hokage's eyes only.

That was something else that had changed during the past month. Ever since Tsunade asked her to heal Kakashi's team it seemed she had given up on acting like Sakura was only a chuunin and was now treating her like she stood on the same step as Shizune. Someone she trusted completely with basically everything that the village had to hide.

Sakura's chest warmed at the realization but it brought dread with it as well. She had never wanted so much responsibility as she was getting now, it had never been her dream, really. She was a girl motivated by love and the bonds she had with people and her greatest wish so far had been to be a kunoichi that would catch Sasuke's attention.

Things had changed so much, she was so much stronger yet still so weak. The very foundations of who she was had evolved. She was still moved by her love and bonds with the people around her but it had become so much more. Sakura was now the apprentice of the most powerful person in the village. She had responsibilities that she had never dreamed of having and despite not being something she had ever envisioned for herself, she found that she wasn't just good at this.

She _thrived_ at being the Hokage's apprentice, be it doing the hard, physical tasks or even the political part of the job. Sakura was ready for it all, even if sometimes her self-doubt caught up to her.

"Tsunade-sama!" An ANBU woman burst into the room, her breath harsh, before kneeling on the floor.

"What is it?" Tsunade lifted her head from where it was bent over a stack of documents and frowned at her.

The ANBU stepped forward and handed her a letter.

"From the Fire Daimyo," she explained, "it's a matter of utmost urgency and he has a special request."

Sakura focused on the paperwork in front of her but it was hard to ignore Tsunade's murmured "Shit" when the woman finished reading the letter. Her curiosity was peaked but she pretended not to be paying any attention.

"Get me Team Ro!" Tsunade raised from her seat suddenly and moved to the window behind them, one hand moving through her bangs shakily.

"Hai!" The woman bowed lower before shunshining away, her body barely a blur.

Sakura gave up on her work and turned back to watch Tsunade pace. She seemed agitated and that made Sakura nervous. Whatever request the letter held couldn't be anything good if her Shishou was so perturbed by it.

"Shishou?" Sakura asked hesitantly.

Tsunade turned to look at her and Sakura almost startled at the emotion in her amber eyes. She pinched the bridge of her nose and lowered her head for a moment before squaring her shoulders and looking at Sakura once more. Her eyes were still softer than Sakura was used to seeing it, but when she spoke her voice was strong as usual.

"You have a mission, Sakura." Tsunade pointed her chin forwards. "Go home and have a hearty lunch then report here in an hour."

Sakura wanted to argue. She wanted to ask what the hell was going on and demand an explanation. She wanted to know just what the hell was going on.

Sakura nodded and shunshined home without another word.

The protein heavy lunch she put together went down her throat like cardboard and her mind blanked in preparation for what was to come. Seeing her shishou like that had really shook her but if she had a mission, now wasn't the time for any freaking out.

Her body went into autopilot—double the hidden weapons, tighten her braid, soldier pills inside her left pouch—as she tried to connect the random dots she had just received.

Tsunade's look was one she had never seen before but Inner supplied her an image that matched well enough. That first mission she was sent on with Genma, the moment Tsunade had sent them off, something had crossed her face. And also when Sakura had come back and they were having a rare quiet night at home. Tsunade had sipped her spiked tea with something in her eyes that Sakura hadn't been able to recognise.

Now she knew what she had found in those looks.

It was fear. Fear and pride and melancholy and—incredibly soft—affection. The only reason Sakura could find as to why her shishou had looked at her like that was if whatever mission she was being sent on far exceeded the expectations of a chuunin.

The urgent feeling of the letter and the sheer fact that it was from the Fire Daimyo was another indicator.

Sakura tightened the hitai-ate on her forehead and rushed back through the secret tunnels to the Hokage Tower. Tsunade was pacing the floor of her office when she opened the door and barely spared her a glance before moving past her.

"Keep up."

Sakura did. Even as they entered an inconspicuous door on the ground floor that lead them down so many flights of stairs she got dizzy. Even as she realised where they were going.

ANBU Headquarters was at the same time everything she was expecting and so much more. She figured there were many entrances to the complex but this one was guarded by two ninja, masked and cloaked, that knelt to the Hokage but said nothing as she activated the same type of seal that lead the to the Senju estate secret passage.

The corridor they entered was dimly lit and endlessly looking but this one didn't hold a genjutsu. Soon enough, they reached the end where another door lead them through to a wide room. There was a desk full of reports and a harried looking ninja sitting behind it, his orange hair standing on end behind his porcelain mask.

"Ho-Hokage-sama!" He squeaked, quickly getting up and knocking his chair back in the process.

"Back to work, Badger," Tsunade barked and the man sat back down once he righted his chair, faster than Sakura thought him capable after seeing him stumble.

She could feel his eyes following her so she smiled and waved cheerfully back at him and was rewarded with a splutter just as they went through another door. This one led them to another set of equally creepy hallways until finally they reached a door marked as ろ. Tsunade walked through it without knocking.

"Hokage-sama!" Three ninja chorused, bowing to show the top of their heads almost in unison.

The room held two black couches and a white writing board against the walls with a four seat table right in the middle of it. Another door on the wall opposite of where Sakura was standing was the only other remarking quality of it all. One ninja, clearly the leader, stepped forward and handled her a bundle. The other two sat back down, one of them a purple haired woman wearing a cat mask and the last... was that—

"The pink hair will draw too much attention." It was the man in front of her who spoke. He had mousy brown hair and a bear mask and his voice was devoid of any emotion.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes.

"Are you complaining about her hair or my choice of teammate for you, Tenzou?" Her voice was sharp and impatient and Sakura was surprised when the man didn't instantly back down.

"Forgive me, Tsunade-sama." At least he had the sense to bow again. "But the letter explicitly asked for Shizu—"

"Shizune is in Suna," Tsunade barked at him and he straightened himself up immediately. "Do you suggest we wait the three days it would take for her to get here before dispatching a team?"

"Don't be a dick, Tenzou," the other man drawled from where he was seating at the couch and Sakura had to fight a smile because yes, that most certainly _was_ Genma. "The kid's got talent, she won't slow us down."

And just like that, Tenzou was nodding at her, like it didn't take much more than his teammate's word for him.

"Put the uniform on," he told her, voice giving nothing away.

Sakura didn't look around for a bathroom or changing room. She knew from the expectant way they held themselves that this was as much a test as any other. It wasn't clear if it was supposed to be an intimidation tactic or a way to see if she'd follow orders without question but she did know a challenge when she saw one.

Forcing herself to keep her eyes on him, Sakura stripped. This wasn't the time for self consciousness, so she let Inner push that to the back of her mind and unfastened her pouches as quick as she could. She was down to her bindings, many of her hidden weapons laid out at the table, when Tenzou spoke again.

"This is your uniform for the mission," he told her. "You're not an initiated member, so when we come back you're expected to return this and the mask."

"We'll show you where to put it, Pinky," Genma said, his voice as carefree as usual but Sakura glanced at him just quick enough to see his posture was that millimetre too taught for him to be completely comfortable with the situation.

"You are strictly forbidden from going anywhere during the mission or the headquarters by yourself, do you understand, Haruno?" Tenzou's voice was hard and emotionless like a rock and Sakura matched hers when she answered.

"Hai, Taichou."

"Haruno Sakura," Tsunade spoke clearly, her voice formal as she handed her a white porcelain mask marked red. It was a wolf. "This is your new identity. Under the mask you are sworn to protect your Hokage and your village with your life. Secrecy is paramount, you cannot speak of this to anyone outside the ranks and during the mission you should maintain discretion. Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai deals in the shadows and in the shadows only."

Sakura nodded, chakra already washing over her hair and coaching a fine layer of genjutsu to darken her unconventional colour. She stopped when her shishou nodded in satisfaction and brought the tail of her braid to take a look at how it turned out.

Her tightly braided hair was a deep auburn colour, close enough to her original pallet that it was barely an effort at all to keep it as such. She knew that unless she suddenly lost all control of her chakra, it would stay like that.

"Do you accept the mask, Wolf?" Tsunade's voice was terribly soft, carrying the weight of the moment and what it mean for Sakura.

"I do, Shishou." She supposed she should have said something along the lines of Hokage-sama or Godaime-sama but by now Tsunade had beaten all types of unnecessary deference Sakura could have had for her.

She placed the mask on Sakura's face and attached it with chakra.

"May the Will of Fire burn bright and guide you through the shadows." Tsunade grinned at her, the same sharp one that kind of reminded Sakura of her nightmares but that always brought her comfort, and then she was gone, her heels clacking back to her office.

"We have a few procedures to go through with you before leaving, special signs and protocols that we may need for this trip but ultimately," Tenzou sighed, "time is of essence."

It took them two days to get to Kumo and Sakura had plenty of time to worry about the mission on the way there. Apparently, one of the daimyō's closest friends had a daughter that was kidnapped by a rival merchant three days ago. They were sure Matsumoto Rei was responsible for it and their mission was strictly to kill him and retrieve the girl but to not make any more of their involvement known. Everything was to be kept under wraps.

They were about ten kilometres away from the compound when Tenzou-taichou raised a fist in the air to stop them. Sakura cocked her head to the side as, one by one, her teammates' chakra signature disappeared. They were completely cloaked. It was instinct for her to match her chakra waves to that of a bee flying around a wildflower next to Genma's feet.

"That takes some serious control." Tenzou's tone wasn't particularly excited but the nod of approval he gave her was satisfying all the same. "From now on there will be no more speaking. You'll follow after Cat and Coyote will take the rear. Once we're there, there will be no time for any explaining so just take your cues where you can and don't break formation."

"Hai, Taichou." Sakura nodded at him, her whole body made of marble as the thrill of the mission settled within her veins and tightened her muscles.

The same feeling she got during that first mission with Genma came back to her. The pure professionalism and unadulterated danger that her teammates projected was like a boost to her skills making her that much stealthier and quicker.

There were about six sentinels, all of them skilled from what she could tell from their chakra signatures but none of them were any match to an assassination squad from the Leaf. They separated at one point, Yuugao and Genma following a path that lead to the basement and Sakura following Tenzou to Matsumoto Rei's room.

Sakura put a genjutsu outside the door as soon as possible and closed it silently behind them. Tenzou was already halfway through a set of signs when she turned back.

She barely contained her gasp when wooden poles—actual wood—sprouted from his hands and enveloped Rei's wrists and ankles after gagging him thoroughly. Wood release? _What the actual fuck_. She thought that was a Senju only ability.

Sakura stood there, wide eyed, for some time before coming back to herself. They had a mission to finish. Tenzou moved forwards quickly and before Sakura could even register the fact that he held a kunai in his hands, he slit Matsumoto Rei's throat wide open. The man had been awake but any struggling was fruitless against Tenzou-taichou's jutsu. He died with wide eyes and a wicked smile beneath his chin.

There was barely a pause before Tenzou was retracting his wood and turning towards her. Sakura, her horror pushed firmly to the back of her mind, simply turned and dispelled the genjutsu on the door.

On the other side of it, they came face to face with one of the guards, the genjutsu just fading from his milky looking eyes. Sakura was fairly surprised at how quick her hand shot out to grab his throat. It was both a move to keep him from screaming and also to make it easier for her chakra to slow down his heartbeat considerably.

She held his unconscious body like that before turning to Tenzou for further instructions. They had been told to only kill the merchant but the man could had seen them both.

Tenzou nodded slowly and it was the only response Sakura needed before she snapped the guard's neck.

They stood for a few beats just staring at each other after Sakura lowered the body to the floor slowly as to not make any sounds. Tenzou finally nodded at her again and began leading them back to the point they had split. Genma and Yuugao were already there, a slip of a girl beneath the woman's arm.

Sakura stopped in her tracks.

The girl was about her age, it seemed, but looked much younger than her. She was a shaking mess of bloodied blonde hair and pale skin marred by bruises and cuts. The only thing covering her seemed to be Genma's undershirt and there was blood and... something else running down between her legs.

Sakura was so enraged that for a second she only saw red. Inner barely controlled the influx of images that jumped to the forefront of her mind and it was with great effort that she reigned in her killing intent. The others were looking at her and she got the feeling that beneath their masks their faces held surprise and apprehension.

Objectively, she had known that it was a possibility that the girl would suffer many kinds of assault during her capture but, for some reason, Sakura had naively held onto the thought that she was only being held captive. She let out a shaky exhale.

With her hands raised in a sign of defeat, she approached the girl slowly before touching her light on her wrist. It was enough to make the girl flinch back but Sakura held on and soon enough she was slumping against Yuugao, dead asleep.

Yuugao took the girl in her arms and they resumed their previous formation, leaving the same way they came in. They'd been about four kilometres out of the compound when Sakura felt the chakra signatures moving in position to intercept them. They were the same two of the sentinels.

She knew that she should sit back and follow orders, keep to the formation and get the fuck out of there but the sight of the girl slumped on Yuugao's arms with blood still drying on her skin was enough to send her down the rabbit hole into a state of mind in which she could barely recognise herself.

Inner hadn't even attempted to curb the homicidal thoughts running rampant through her head and the killing intent that leaked out of her in waves. There was barely a second before she had donned her cloak and mask so fast and in the next she was already ripping the heart out of one of the nin with her gloved fist. The satisfaction she got out of it was fleeting but intense and then she was already moving to the next one, one hand grabbing his face and crushing it tightly while the other unsheathed her tantō and decapitated the last nin in one single movement.

Sakura's vision was blurry with how heavy she was breathing as the three sentinels fell to the floor in a heap almost simultaneously. There was a beat of silence in the clearing, broken only by her shaky gasps. They hadn't even gotten the chance to scream.

Her team surrounded her then, Tenzou brushing his arm against hers as he took point and Yuugao leaning on her briefly before she felt Genma's hands on her back. It was a touch reserved to set her moving and also to support her. Tenzou upheaved the ground and buried any evidence of the struggle, fresh grass grew with unnatural speed and then they were off.

No one spoke a single word even as they passed the ten kilometres mark and they only stopped when they reached Land of Fire territory.

Sakura felt like throwing up but she held it in, taking one shaky breath after the next and using Genma's hands on her as an anchor. She knew the others went about setting up camp but she just stood there watching the tiny steam they had settled next to rush languorously over smooth rocks and focusing only on the feeling of Genma's chakra mingling with hers through the hand he had sneaked beneath her uniform to reach her back.

"C'mon, Blossom," he murmured, nudging her forward towards the stream and tears welled up in Sakura's eyes.

He crouched next to the water and used a rag to gather some of it before slowly taking her hand in his and meticulously wiping it clean. Sakura didn't bother hiding the tears sliding down her face as she counted his strokes silently to herself.

Genma took her chin in his hand, slid her mask off to the side and brought the rag to get rid of the mix of blood and tears on her cheeks. The kiss he pressed into her forehead after was enough to make her choke on a sob.

"I-I didn't even notice I was—" Sakura stuttered through her sentence another strangled sob leaving a knot on her throat.

"You shouldn't have broken formation, Wolf," Tenzou's words were that of a captain but his tone was so soft and caring that there was no way it could be seen as a reprimand.

"Don't worry," Sakura could hear the soft smile on Yuugao's voice, "we've all been there."

Sakura nodded a few times, squeezed Genma's hand once and brushed past Tenzou like he did before and kneeled next to the girl. She smoothed some of the matted hair on her forehead and moved her chakra into her system to get rid of all the cuts and bruises. It was over in a few seconds but it had been enough to further calm Sakura down.

Yuugao went to the stream to wet another rag and the two of them tidied up a bit of the mess. Sakura used her chakra to clear the girl's uterus from inside, making sure there wasn't a single sperm left alive inside her. It was one of the few things she could do for the girl.

"We can't give her back to her dad like this," Sakura said, her voice firm like the one she used with her subordinates even as she turned to look up towards Tenzou-taichou.

"I'll go look for some clothes in the next village over." Tenzou nodded at them. "Coyote, set up a perimeter, you have first watch."

"Roger, taichou," Genma drawled in his usual sarcastic voice and saluted Tenzou before disappearing into the tree line.

Sakura leaned against Yuugao as the older woman began humming a haunting tune under her breath. She watched as her hands shook when she smoothed the hair out of the girls face.

"We don't even know her name," Sakura whispered, regret for the girl's lost innocence sitting heavy on her chest. "I wish I could have helped her more."

"You did all you could," Yuugao's husky voice reassured her. "That's all that matters in the end," she said, then softer, as if only to herself, "It has to be."

The girl's name was Yuki, Sakura found out later on the next day when they reached the merchant's household and an ageing man ran over to them. Her name was ripped from his throat like a prayer and Sakura had to avert her eyes from the two of them embracing.

She would be okay, Sakura thought. Someone who had a father who loved her that much would get all the help in the world. Sakura had to believe that was enough.

The trip back was with a much heavier mood but somehow Sakura felt much more connected to her teammates. She could predict the way they moved much easier and it felt like she fit with them. It was a weird feeling, if she was being completely honest with herself. She had never really felt that with Team Seven even though she loved them fiercely.

They were a couple of hours away from Konoha when the sound of fighting reached their trained ears. Tenzou-taichou immediately adjusted their course and Sakura prepared herself for combat. Her muscles tightened in anticipation of a fight and she detected a significant chakra signature. It was a chuunin, she was certain, and when they got closer she could see a wagon with six men, all civilians but armed.

It seemed like the chuunin was attacking a farmer's wagon but it was laughingly easy for Tenzou to subdue him and shackle his hands with wood. The sight of it still sent Sakura's heart racing but she chose not to address it right then. The man was wearing a hitai-ate. The leaf symbol scratched through glared at Sakura. She felt like she couldn't breathe for a second, Sasuke immediately coming to the forefront of her mind.

The missing nin spat on the ground.

"Of course Konoha's dogs would be sniffing around me." His voice was nasty as was his smirk. "I'm surprised they didn't send their best hound. Friend Killer Kakashi too busy these days to hunt down fellow ninja?"

Yuugao was a purple blur before her hand connected with the missing nin's throat painfully.

"Shut up."

Sakura had never seen her that riled up.

The shock of hearing Kakashi's name faded while they continued on their way back but the curiosity nagged on her mind like an insistent itch. Something that she had pushed to the back of her mind suddenly resurfaced. During that rescue mission for Anko's team, the look they had exchanged when she mentioned Team Seven's bad luck was so heavy with... something. The same something she felt from her teammates now.

She was definitely missing a piece of information here. Something about Team Seven's legacy and even Kakashi's story. Maybe it wasn't anything that was strictly her business, exactly, but then maybe, just maybe, it might help Sakura explain Kakashi's way to herself. So far, she was positive that he had lost his genin team but _Friend Killer Kakashi_? That seemed... ominous.

They went through the barrier on training ground 67 and Sakura watched in a daze as Tenzou slapped a hidden seal on a boulder and an entrance revealed itself to them. They wound up in the same corridor as last time and entered the room marked ろ again. Tenzou rummaged around for a scroll while the others filled out on the other side of the room.

"Go with them, Sakura." Tenzou took his mask off and smiled kindly at her. "You did good today, I hope we get to work together again in the future."

"Thank you for taking care of me, Tenzou-taichou." Sakura took her own mask off and gave him what she hoped at least resembled a smile.

He waved at her as she followed Genma outside. The door led to a large rectangle that resembled a dojo, similar doors lining it on all sides and right across from where they stood, a set of double doors led them to the changing rooms. The first part of it was the locker room where Yuugao instructed her to leave her uniform at a basket near the corner.

Sakura barely thought about stripping to her undergarments in front of them.

The three of them headed to the showers together not bothering to talk but also choosing shower heads next to each other. It seemed none of them wanted to be too far away from one another and Sakura wanted to stay with them that night. She wanted to let their proximity wash away the horrific things they'd seen during the past few days and the emotional toll it took.

There was still, however, in the back of her mind the itch that demanded attention. She couldn't ignore her curiosity anymore. She wouldn't.

So when Genma was fastening the bindings around his calf and asking her to meet them up at the bar, Sakura merely smiled slightly, gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek and asked to meet him in the morning for breakfast instead.

She had some research to do.

* * *

_Yo! This is being uploaded a bit later than I wanted but it's here! I hope you enjoyed this new development, hihi. I've been angling for this for quite some time, you guys should know that Wolf will be here for a while._

_Now, remember Sakura isn't an official member of ANBU. This was an emergency because Shizune wouldn't be able to do the mission as requested and Tsunade couldn't just send any medic to a mission the daimyo requested. That being said, this opened another can of worms that being accepted into the Red Section had made a tiny hole last chapter. In this chapter, the can is positively open. Let's see what comes out of it._

_Tenzou is a big teddy bear, but he's an even worse stickler for the rules than teenager!Kakashi. The way I see it at least. That being said he may come of as standoffish at first but Sakura definitely noticed he cares a lot for his comrades. Btw, ろ __means Ro. So the room they enter in Headquarters is Team Ro's "meeting room". We know next to nothing about how ANBU really works and a lot of things we do know I don't like so I'll take as much of creative license as I see fit on this front, thank you very much._

_If you guys recall, Kakashi used to be Team Ro's Captain during his time in ANBU. Back in the good old days before genocide was a thing, it used to be Kakashi, Yuugao, Tenzou and Itachi. I think. When he got taken off ANBU, I imagine the squad leadership would be passed down to Tenzou and now that he's back, I don't think he would be placed back there for one reason. He doesn't *need* to be. See, in the anime we see Kakashi doing a lot of Solo S-Ranked *jounin* missions. He's being carted around in all directions and I think his ANBU missions would mostly be solo ones or big operations with lots of teams. I dunno, it's just the way I see it. ¯\ _(ツ__)_/¯ _

_We see Sakura getting a bit darker here and actually shocking herself with how easy and *satisfying* it felt. Also, Tsunade installed in her a real problematic habit of not bowing down to higher ups and a downright disrespect for authority. Oh, well._

_Pay close attention to the timeline from now on, guys. Sakura is about fourteen and a half (yes, fourteen and six months give or take because I did a rough estimation of time and agonised over it for months trying to fit everything in my timeline. Appreciate it.) and it's been a month since last chapter. So, a month since she's been going over every single detail of her last interaction with Kakashi and trying to figure out what the hell happened to him. _

_Next chapter will be chaos._

_On another note! _

_I absolutely love you guys. Truly. It amazes me how much love you give me and it really is a big motivator for me to write faster. If you got to this part of this farce of an author's note (it's more of a dissertation, really) please let me know what you think so far of the story. Do you like where I'm taking the plot? What do you wanna se more of? Please validate me? Thanks._


	18. Archives of the Past

The good thing about infiltrating her own village's archives—if there was anything good about this situation—was that Sakura knew _exactly _where to find what she was looking for. The worst thing, treachery notwithstanding, was that she had no idea what she was looking for. She wanted to find out what had happened to Kakashi but she didn't know what exactly she should focus on. Was there a single moment that changed everything about him or was it just various moments, piled on top of each other that had made him like this?

Her first stop was his personal file.

She knew most of the things there, had seen them on his hospital charts, but some things stood out. He graduated the Academy at _six-years-old _and was already a jounin by twelve. Dai-nana-han.

Their first mission with him leading, the same mission where the Yondaime proved his Legendary status by single handedly fighting a battle that ended the war. But they didn't manage to do so without any sacrifices. She'd known that his Sharingan had been a transplant but she could never have guessed it went down like that. His teammate's sacrifice. On field surgery. Behind enemy lines by themselves.

With shaking fingers, Sakura turned the page and tried to find what happened to his last teammate.

Team 7 had almost been dismantled after they came up short a member but Kakashi still used to take missions with his teammate, Nohara Rin, a medic nin. The last mission they took together, the one where next to her name were the red stamped letters K.I.A., all of it was redacted.

With a frown that barely conveyed how annoyed she was, Sakura skipped through the rest of his file. She confirmed he'd been put into ANBU by the Yondaime and later on taken out of it by the Sandaime to become a jounin sensei. Most of his mission reports were redacted. With a quiet sigh, she closed it.

The archives were fairly secure even if she managed to slip past the guards easily. There was, however, a place where the Hokage had always placed their most important files. Nothing in there was redacted and everything was meant to be for the Hokage's eyes only. Good thing Sakura had been trained by the Godaime herself not to take no for an answer.

She moved silently through the empty halls of the Hokage tower towards the secret passage that would lead her home. Before she had moved there with Tsunade, the Sarutobi clan had taken everything pertaining to the Sandaime but there was one room in the whole estate that no one but the Hokage could enter. A secret seal marked the entrance, only one door and no windows.

The Hokage's private archives were meant to be impossible to penetrate and only the Hokages knew how to go past the seal on the door. Of course, that meant that Sakura knew precisely how to get there.

Sakura had only seen Tsunade activate the seal once but that was enough for Inner to remember how to replicate it and soon enough, Sakura was inside.

There were tons of drawers labeled by years and the light was dim. The ninja in her raised its hackles at the thought of entering a place with only one exit but she ignored her instincts and moved towards the drawer she needed, the one marked with the Sandaime's name and the date of his second rule.

The report made her nauseous.

She took a deep breath to still herself and tried to count down from ten so she wouldn't cry or punch a hole through the wall.

Not only had the girl—Rin, she reminded herself—been a Jinchuriki but she had forced Kakashi's hand into killing her. _Purposefully stepped right into the path of Hatake Kakashi's signature move, Chidori. _

_Friend Killer Kakashi, _that ninja had said.

She had made him kill her to protect Konoha. How fucked up was that. How fucked up was _Sakura _to think she would have done the same thing? Maybe she'd have been stronger than the girl, maybe she'd have taken her own life instead of strapping her teammate with the guilt and the memories of his fist going through her chest. The outcome was the same. The girl had died for the village as they all would.

Sakura's hand immediately went to the tiny vertical scar on her eyebrow. The wound she got from her first chunin mission had healed on its own and it felt like a physical reminder of that time. Everytime she looked in the mirror or her fingers caught the edges of it throughout the day, she came back to that night. She wondered if Kakashi's scar held the same meaning as hers.

A lot of the things she knew about him suddenly fell into place. His difficulty in getting close to anyone, how he always seemed so aloof, so closed off. He lost everyone around him. He was put in a position where he could have been held accountable for someone else's well being while he was so young and he lost everything, time and time again. Sakura was surprised he was still a functioning human being, let alone one of the best shinobi in the village.

She placed the file back in the drawer with a newfound respect for him, her hands bracing her weight on it briefly. A part of her understood him better and whatever animosity and lingering hurt she had towards him faded away. She didn't fool herself into thinking she could change him or that they had the type of relationship where she could reach out to him. Not after she saw him break apart, not after he had basically kicked her out of his apartment.

Their relationship as a student who looked up to her teacher was long gone but she really wished someone, _anyone, _would reach out and help him. Sakura closed her eyes and silently added a new name to her nindo. She would make sure Naruto and Sasuke's name didn't end up in the memorial stone and that Kakashi stayed alive to see them return.

She was pushing away from the drawer to slide it closed when she heard a click.

Sarutobi Hiruzen had placed a hidden compartment in the drawer reserved for him. Curiosity made her reach for what was inside. This was a secret room that only those close to the Hokage knew of its existence and even fewer people were supposed to know how to enter it. Not even the council knew how to activate the seal outside the door. What did he have to hide?

The compartment was tiny and only held a single small black scroll.

What Sakura saw inside was a horror story she could never have prepared for. It was blood written in pretty if regretful words. The Sandaime expressed his remorse on a few key happenings that left Sakura reeling.

There were so many things _wrong _that she didn't even know where to start. With the Kyuubi Attack and how the Sandaime had simply followed Minato's wishes and let him kill himself for the village while he still had a young son to look after. How the promise he had made to look after Naruto had meant absolutely fucking _nothing. _Her best friend had still been raised in orphanages that mistreated him, had barely enough a month to scrape by. All by himself.

The problems started before that, even. Sarutobi Hiruzen had known of the existence of Root. He had stood by everything wrong that happened inside it even if what he had done was just turn a blind eye to it. They had almost continued the Third War because of Danzou's actions in Rain and he had done _nothing. _

There wasn't even a side note of regret of sending Kakashi's team to Kannabi Bridge. After he stepped down when he didn't ask for reparitions from Iwa—weak, he was just so fucking _weak_—he was supposed to have put Orochimaru, Minato and Uchiha Fugaku as options for Yondaime but he didn't. The Uchiha's hate towards the village had started there and what came next made bile rise in the back of her throat.

They had suspected the Uchiha for the Kyuubi attack. Kept the whole clan under observation. The Uchiha Compound, which she had always thought was a sign of their power and superiority was actually a segregation camp. They had been _moved _there to be better observed.

When tensions—obviously—rose, Danzo had—_Shimura Danzo had ordered Uchiha Itachi to murder them all. _He gave a fourteen-year-old _kid _the choice of seeing his whole clan dead because of a civil war or killing them himself in order to spare his little brother. The Sandaime, the Council, all of them old _fools _had stood by and let that happen.

_I hadn't known about Danzou's orders until Uchiha Itachi reported back to me. It saddens me that such a burden had fallen on top of such a dedicated young shinobi's shoulders but there was nothing that could have been done at that point. The Council wouldn't back up the idea of putting Danzou under trial for treason and Konoha couldn't afford that kind of stain on it's history. The matter would have to be kept quiet. I would follow young Itachi's wishes to let the Uchiha clan hold their honour. I stripped Danzou of his position in the Council and terminated the Root program and promised Uchiha Itachi I would take care of his little brother. _

Only he hadn't. Sasuke had been kept in the Uchiha Compound where all his kin had their blood spilt and Uchiha Itachi, the most loyal ninja Konoha had bred, was seen across all the nations as the biggest traitor.

All while Danzou had kept Root going on, let them experiment on _children _with Hashirama's cells and fuck. _Fuck. _Koharu, Homura, Hiruzen. They had all known. Their inaction had killed _thousands. _

Sakura didn't realise she was breathing so fast until her vision swam with the beginnings of hyperventilation. She thought she had been put under a genjutsu for a brief, panic-filled second and even tried dispelling it before coming back to herself.

She had to get to Tsunade. Had she _known _too? Sakura fled the room in a blur and only realised she had moved at all when she stood before her shishou.

The woman was working through a pile of paperwork on their coffee table and Sakura felt an odd sort of feeling in her stomach. What else could Konoha have hidden behind the facade of the good village?

Anger was hot on her veins, she could barely see straight. Inner was in a complete frenzy inside her head, images of blood and despair kept playing in a loop and she felt like she could explode. She slapped the diary on top of the paperwork covering the surface of the table.

"Did you know?" Her voice was low and dangerous and killing intent was leaking from her in waves. She felt the signatures of Tsunade's guards outside shift in response to it but it registered in the back of her mind, unimportant.

"What the hell, brat!" Tsunade stared wide eyed at her, her brush dropped and smudging a few of the papers strewn about.

"Read it," Sakura's voice was so low and so vicious it sounded more like a hiss. "Read it and then look me in the eye and tell me if you fucking knew, _Shishou."_

Tsunade had never been known to follow orders like that, specially from someone younger and less experienced than her but their relationship was far beyond rank. She could see that whatever was happening was serious.

"Sensei's handwriting…" She glanced from Sakura to the small scroll, her frown deepening. "I've never seen this before," she said in a confused mutter but didn't waste any time.

She read it all in less than two minutes and Sakura watched as she paled, her hands clenching and unclenching before smacking down on their table with enough force to break it.

Watching the surprise, the horror and shame on her shishou's face had been enough to confirm to Sakura what she suspected. She didn't know.

With that realisation, Sakura could finally begin to calm herself down. She forced Inner back, let her mold all that hatred and anger into her cloak and mask and took deep breaths. She realised she had closed her eyes when she heard Tsunade speak.

"I'm going to kill them."

Her voice was unrecognisable. Not in all the years Sakura had heard it reach different levels of anger had she sounded like that. In the blink of an eye, she was gone, the door left open in her wake.

It took Sakura two beats to understand what was going on. When her mind caught up, her shishou was nowhere to be seen. She blinked slowly and considered for a moment letting her go before common sense won. They couldn't play their hand so early into the game. With a controlled sigh, Sakura closed her eyes again and focused on her shishou's chakra signature.

It was moving fast across the training field, four signatures from her guards following her. If Sakura shunshined fast enough through the Hokage tower's passage she could intercept her just on the border of the training field—

She paused.

There were two chakra signatures following the five ninja. It was almost nothing really, just enough chakra that you would find in a rat, but it was moving abnormally fast and at a safe distance.

Sakura realised with a start that it was the same technique Shishou had showed her to fool the elite, make her chakra signature like that of a small animal and no ninja would suspect it for moving.

It wouldn't have raised any questions normally but everything about it felt off. Apart from just how _fast_ the signatures were moving, Sakura estimated the distance they kept from her shishou's guards to be the recommended for following highly skilled ninja.

It was Root, without a shadow of a doubt.

Sakura had never moved so fast in her life. Her shoes barely touched the ground as she practically tore her way out of the compound, through the Hokage tower and finally reached the grounds just as her shishou broke through the tree line. The two women moved towards each other, Tsunade trying to side step her but Sakura was faster. She moved her arms around her shishou and _squeezed._

When Tsunade started to pull away, she held on with chakra reinforced arms and brought her mouth to her ear.

"Don't be fucking stupid," she whispered and received a snarl in return. "You were being followed, shishou. They're watching us."

The hands Tsunade had on her ribs to force her to back away crushed bone but Sakura held on. They stood there for a few seconds, Sakura using her chakra to bring down her shishou's heart rate and noticing in a distant kind of way that she was now taller than her master. When had that happened?

Tsunade nodded and the girls parted before silently moving back home.

They protected the place with the strongest privacy seals, designed by the Yondaime himself, methodically brewed some tea and sat around their broken table. Sakura set about fixing her cracked ribs.

"They need to go." Tsunade's voice was calm but still held an undercurrent of danger that brought chills down Sakura's spine. Because they could. Between the both of them, they could kill them all and still make it look like an accident.

But that wasn't the issue was it? If they just murdered the old bastards, how different from them did that make them? No. They wouldn't be paralysed by fear like the Sandaime, but they had to do this the right way. Konoha had to stop that vile circle of hidden ruthlessness at some point. They had to be _better. _

Golden yellow met emerald green across the table, their tea's steam rising between them as they shared the heavy certainty that they both could strip down Konoha of its bloody past and set it on fire. And they would, Sakura vowed, but they would do it the right way where nothing would be able to stop them.

The only question was how. She could see in Tsunade's eyes how this news broke her heart. She had believed in her sensei wholeheartedly, had followed his lead even when that hurt her and seeing proof of his carelessness must be hard. Even though she tried to cover it up, she was old enough to remember the teachings of her grandfather and to share his grand views for Konoha when she was a child. How far had they strayed from that path.

"I'm sorry, Shishou," was all Sakura could say. And then, "What do we do?"

Tsunade took a deep breath, closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. When she looked back at Sakura, her eyes were focused, her mouth set into a serious line.

"Nothing, for now." She narrowed her eyes. "You'll tell me where you found that scroll, I'm going to put it back and you will tell no one about this, Sakura. Trust no one. I need a plan." She sighed. "I need to think."

They didn't do any sleeping that night.

In the morning, Sakura mechanically took a shower and put her uniform on. Tsunade was nowhere to be found and Sakura was kind of relieved. A big part of her wanted to help and solve this situation but a considerable part of her wanted to do shit all about it. She wanted to hide and let her shishou take care of this like she used to do when there was a cockroach at the house back when she used to live with her parents. She would wait on top of the nearest surface while her dad killed it.

Sakura wanted to find the nearest surface but all around her things were unstable. She felt like she would fall if she tried to get up.

It was in a haze that Sakura moved through her training routine. She added so many more sit ups, pushups and squats that her muscles were contracting painfully at the end of it. She barely felt it.

She didn't remember how she ended up at the memorial stone. She had no actual recollection of getting there or sitting down on the fluffy grass in front of it. The characters there were familiar but now her eyes caught on some of them.

_Uchiha Obito. Nohara Rin. Namikaze Minato. _

She blinked herself awake from her haze when a morbid thought crossed her mind. _I wonder if Kakashi's name shouldn't be there too. _

Because, fuck, wasn't that the truth. He was directly involved in the death of everyone in his team, and was held accountable for two of them. The man walked around the village like a ghost because maybe he _was _a ghost. He just hadn't been declared dead yet.

There were tears in her eyes that she refused to spill. Specially when she felt someone next to her.

"You said we'd meet in the morning."

Genma's voice was lazy as usual, like he didn't care which direction the conversation went. Sakura knew him well enough to see he was worried.

"It's still light out." She didn't turn to look at him yet, couldn't see his face without spewing everything she had learned.

"It's six o'clock, kid."

She did turn to look at him then. There was a tiny mark between his eyebrows that grew thicker when he saw the tears in her eyes that threatened to fall. She wouldn't let them, of course, not then, not in front of that stone. But still.

"What can I do?" Genma asked around his senbon, his voice low and worried now. He wouldn't waste time asking what was wrong. He knew she would say that if she could.

"Train with me?" Sakura's voice was weaker than she'd heard it in a long time but maybe it was that that made Genma agree so quickly.

"Anything."

When they reached their usual training grounds and Sakura dropped her weights, it looked like they would take the fight seriously but that's far from what happened. Sakura couldn't land a single hit and Genma stayed in the offensive the whole time, letting her tire herself out. It didn't take long.

He made her dinner that night. Actually, he bought her takeout after shoving her into the shower but still, it was the thought that counted. He sat with her and watched as she ate it all with careful, calculating eyes. She felt kinda ridiculous sitting in front of him in her cute fluffy PJ's but it made her chest warm to have him with her.

She wanted to tell him everything. Had he known of the things she read last night? Most of them, that's for sure. What did he think about it? Could they even _do _anything about it? Everything was just bubbling to the surface, like her throat couldn't contain all the ugly truths of her village and she just needed to _spill. _

"Genm—," she paused. She didn't know if she could do it. Paranoia had set in and she just _couldn't—_

"Sakura?" Tsunade called from the living room. Genma immediately stood up and turned to face the doorway when her shishou and Shizune walked through. The blonde narrowed her eyes at him while Shizune clasped her hands worriedly. "Leave, boy."

"Hokage-sama." Genma said respectfully enough but there was no bow where there usually would be. He spared Shizune a brief glance, almost like he couldn't bring himself not to and then his eyes were back on Sakura.

"It's okay. Thanks for today." She managed to give him a small smile. "I'll see you tomorrow at the bar."

He waited a beat longer, his eyes piercing hers for a few tense seconds before he nodded and turned to leave.

"You better remember it this time, kiddo." He waved a hand before opening the back door. "Ja."

The kitchen was so thick with silence, Sakura was scared she might drown.

"Did you tell him?" Shizune's voice was tense and accusing and Sakura felt betrayed that her senpai would think she'd spill like that, even if she had thought about it. The truth was, she wasn't sure she would have told him if they hadn't been interrupted.

"_No_."

"Of course she didn't." Tsunade sat down at the head of the table with a huff, Shizune sat at the chair opposite Sakura's. "I need a drink."

Sakura huffed a laugh at that and immediately got up to get them some sake. Shizune didn't even protest much against it and it was only after two shots that they spoke again.

"We need a way to undermine the Council's influence, little by little so they don't catch up to what we're doing." Tsunade breathed deeply and held it in for a beat before letting go harshly. Another shot for all of them. "We need to discredit them enough that they couldn't possibly oppose me without making it look like treason and that by the time we come at them for their crimes, they can't escape going to jail."

Sakura was finding it hard to breathe. The realisation of just how _huge _this was was finally catching up to her. The haze between her ears was gone and with it came the rush of adrenaline of pre-battle.

"We also need allies," Shizune said. Her voice was serious and her eyes narrowed. "But we have to be very careful of who we trust."

Sakura felt something forming, the beginnings of a plan that weren't anything concrete at all but it was enough for her to voice it.

"We could have a bigger council."

"Like Suna?" Shizune asked, her frown more evident. Tsunade only steepled her finger before her and focused her gaze on Sakura. That was enough to give her confidence.

"The problem right now is that they basically oppose everything you say, Shishou, and Danzou still holds enough power with them that it's like he's still in the council, right?" She took a deep breath and used her tongue to wet her lips. "If you get more people on the council, people you can trust to back you up, that will do what's right for the village, they won't have such a huge influence."

"Traditionally, we only have ex-Hokages and their teammates as part of the council, Sakura-chan," Shizune said softly. "They are supposed to represent the Will of Fire itself, teachings of the past, guiding the future."

"_Fuck tradition_." Sakura smacked her hand on the table hard enough to rattle their sake cups. "The only thing it brought us so far is treason and the complete annihilation of a founding clan. If it were for tradition, we wouldn't have a female Hokage, we wouldn't have the best medic nins in the continent and I wouldn't be Tsunade's apprentice."

Silence yet again fell upon them but this time Sakura's harsh breaths filled it. Shizune had her eyes widened but Tsunade, well. Tsunade was looking at her like she's never been prouder. And that's what gave her strength to keep going.

"We need good ninja in the council. Younger ones, ninja who still remember what it's like to fight and bleed for the village."

"We can't have members of the council being on the active roster," Shizune reminded her, "and we can't afford to pull any shinobi out of the field right now."

"That's true," Tsunade said, a fierce glint in her eyes. "There are some ninja who fit the job perfectly, though. For now, I need you to become the Hospital's director, Shizune."

There was a beat of silence where Sakura's eyes widened and Shizune's jaw dropped.

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune exclaimed. "I couldn't possibly—"

"You'll have to," Tsunade replied harshly. "I can't afford to focus my efforts there while I take this on. I'll take care of any serious cases but, for now, I need you to handle everything else there." She gave her a sharp grin. "You can do this, Director."

"I—" Shizune seemed to be speechless but in the end she managed to get herself together. "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

"Enough of that." Tsunade rolled her eyes. "This will take a while, years maybe. From now on, the three of us will be constantly observing those around us to determine who we can trust. When we are completely sure, I'll decide if we bring them into the loop." She rubbed her temples and sighed irritably. "We'll need to take a closer look at Danzou and Root but that will have to wait for a while."

"We can do this." Sakura wasn't sure if she was saying this to the others or if she was simply assuring herself but it made her feel marginally better when Shizune-senpai nodded resolutely.

"I already know just who I'm going to add to the council first." Tsunade smirked, the same tiny smile that brought shivers down Sakura's spine and made her stand up straighter. It was a smile that was as dangerous as it was pretty and it made her have all the confidence in the world that they could pull this off.

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* * *

_... yo_

_This chapter fought me to the death, you guys. I had it written for so long but it just seemed off, you know? I thought about not going there, you see, ignoring the Uchiha Massacre and letting it be a kind of homage to Itachi's wishes just like the anime. It wasn't sitting right with me bc I think that the whole thing was just so stupid (let's not even get into the shitshow of bad decisions that was Shisui's death) and in the end, one of my best friends convinced me that I could write the shit out of this plot. Thank god for good friends._

_So, yep, we're going there. Do you remember that this was Bad Idea TM on my files? Well, you can now see why. This story just *needs* to be written. Desperately._

_That being said, I'm super self-conscious about this and I need love and cuddles so please review?_

_Stay safe alright? If any of you wanna chat about what's going on on your side of the screen and vent or maybe not chat about that *at all*, I'm here. _


	19. Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai

_This chapter is dedicated to all frontline workers. Thank you for everything you're doing for us, truly. Thank you for going out there everyday so that we can stay safe inside our homes. A special thank you to Aura FitzBlack over at FFN who is a doctor and kindly left a review on last chapter._

_I'm really glad this fic can bring some joy to people all around the world during these weird, scary times, be it for readers who are still having to go outside and risk themselves to do the essential work or for everyone who is isolating themselves at home. _

_We'll get through this 3_

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One of the first things Tsunade had said to both Sakura and Shizune about the shitshow that they came upon was "Be careful of who you trust." It came as no surprise to her when Sakura told her a few days later that she'd begun following her teammates.

She knew how much they meant to her, had seen it for herself how well they all fit together. She knew Sakura had never felt like she belonged—being a shy civilian at the Academy and later on with Team Seven—and seeing her actually be a part of a team that recognised her and supported her growth made her happier than she knew how to deal with. It was in the girl's nature to care and being cared _for_ must have felt amazing.

Tsunade had been sending her on many missions with Team Ro. It felt natural that Sakura reached out to them to make sure they were people she could trust. She knew it was only a matter of time before the girl took on the mask for good.

She hadn't anticipated how attached she'd get to the squirt.

It was something that she would have betted against if she had the chance, so there really was no surprise that it was exactly what happened. Sakura played a role in her life that wasn't quite clear to Tsunade yet. Apprentice. Little sister. Daughter. It didn't matter what labels they put on it. Sakura was her family as much as Nawaki had been. As much as Dan had been.

Despite all the draining work she'd been doing for the past four months, Tsunade took the time to break out a sake bottle to celebrate the fact Sakura had looked into her teammates enough to assert they were trustworthy. The good stuff.

After putting the hospital entirely in Shizune's hands, her workload had lessened considerably but not enough to make any of this easier.

She had worked day and night, going over the archives on anything she could use to incriminate the Elders and looking through ninja profile after ninja profile to see who'd be good enough to stand by her side. She'd known she'd start with Nara Shikaku from the moment Sakura had suggested the outlines of a plan but there was still a huge way to go.

The first thing she did was establish many meetings with him. She'd ask his opinion on political matters, strategy issues and even once in how to deal with her personal accounts. She had to make sure those meetings were well known of and that the Root operatives following her always listened in. For the first part of her plan, she used the most powerful tool in her arsenal.

Gossip.

She planted seeds all around the village of how helpful Nara Shikaku was to her rule as Hokage, how trustworthy he was not only as a ninja but also as an advisor. Things naturally progressed from there and there was even talk of her grooming him to become her successor.

One night, she sent Sakura's team on a mission to retrieve him from his compound and get him to the Senju manor without Root getting wind of it. It wasn't easy, that much was obvious, but Tenzou's powers and insight on how the organisation worked had made it possible.

On that night, she told Nara Shikaku everything she had found out about their village. The day before she gathered the elders to announce she was instating the Jounin Commander as the newest member of the Council, they sat around her newly bought coffee table and drank themselves stupid until they couldn't feel the sting of betrayal any longer.

The old bastards protested. Very loudly and publicly but, in the end, they couldn't reject the idea without grossly overstepping and no one in the village was very surprised. They all knew and valued Shikaku. Having him in the Council, although it went against tradition, made _sense _after all.

Nara Shikaku didn't take missions outside the village because of his status as a Jounin Commander unless it was an emergency. Tsunade wouldn't need to take an active ninja out of the roster, the Nara family head would simply have a lot of sleepless nights from then on.

His ceremony would happen the following week and, as was customary for ninja about to retire from active duty, he was to take a last mission.

"Haruno Sakura will accompany you as an iryo-nin." Tsunade took a sip of her sake and shrugged when he refused a refill. She was comfortably seated on her desk at the Hokage tower behind a pile of paperwork while he leaned against the windowsill.

"This is supposed to be an InoShikaCho mission." Shikaku smoked his cigarette even after she'd told him not to do so inside her office, but she granted him this defiance for all the responsibility she had dumped on his lap.

"Yes, it is." Tsunade smiled sharply at him. "She'll meet you at the main gate at dawn."

He grumbled, because of course he did, but left soon enough and when he got back five days later, there was a glint to his narrowed eyes when he sat in front of her. Tsunade knew how Shikaku worked. He would sit in silence and analyse her like a board of shogi until he was ready to make his move.

She lacked the patience to play his games.

"Out with it, Nara." She didn't give him more than a glance before going back to signing paperwork Sakura had done for her. The piles of work had diminished greatly over the past year but there was still much work to do.

"Haruno Sakura," was all he said, like speaking her name was enough. Maybe it was. Tsunade had no doubt hers was a name that would be spoken quite often given how far the girl had come, how dedicated and talented she was.

"Yes?" Tsunade finally looked at him, eyebrow raised in challenge. _I fucking dare you to waste my time, boy._

"Why isn't she a jounin yet?" Shikaku scratched his chin in thought. "She has the ability and the profile for it and I went to check her records. She has more than enough missions and _seven _recommendations. That is more than enough to qualify."

Something settled for Tsunade then. She had known that Sakura was a very capable shinobi for quite some time now, it was obvious to anyone close to her. She had seen her go from a determined if quivering young girl to a full fledged kunoichi that was downright _scary. _

There had been a part of her, however, that didn't want to let her go any further. She knew what came next, the path that all shinobi who excelled at what they did took. She'd get into a Bingo book, get a mark on her back and die young. Or she would ignore all the emotional toll being a top tier shinobi took and she'd end up dead by her own hand. Or she would end up just like Hatake.

Quite honestly, Tsunade didn't know what was worse.

There was a reason she had chosen Nara Shikaku as the next council member. He was loyal and he was freakishly smart. He was resourceful and a strategist. He was a father.

She knew that he was well aware of all the risks of letting Sakura progress in her career. He knew about all of the things that had held her back and he was still in favour of the idea of promoting her. Tsunade had to let go.

"The council looks very disfavourably towards Sakura," Tsunade sighed. "Sakura is civilian borne, there's no clan backing her up."

"Hm." Shikaku scratched at his goatee again, his clever eyes seeing all that she wasn't saying. "There are the Senju, Hokage-sama." He got up from his chair and turned to leave with a wave. "And now the Nara. I'll make sure the girl is in the next exam."

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Sakura neatly dodged a swipe at her head from a katana. She smirked slightly at the opening that left her but realised a little too late that it had been a trap. The moment she stepped forward with her tantou, a swift elbow made contact with her jaw.

The pain spread all over her face but she was quick to recover. She let the momentum of the hit bring her forward and used it to turn on one leg while the other delivered a high kick to her sparring partner. Her shin guard met metal and they both stepped away at the same time.

"Pay attention, kouhai," Yuugao sheathed her weapon and brought her hands to her hips. "That was an easy one."

Sakura spat blood on the tatami beneath their bare feet and gave her a semi apologetic shrug.

"If my tooth falls out, I swear to fuck I'll murder you on your sleep."

Yuugao snickered and moved to place her sword on the weapon rack on the edge of the training mats. They'd just come back from an extremely boring seven-days-long recon mission on a tiny village in their northern borders. It had been cold and damp as per usual this time of the year but utterly _still. _Team Ro came back with a lot of energy to burn out and finally get rid of the cold in their bones now that they were back in Konoha's milder temperatures.

Sakura had roped Yuugao into training with her as soon as they stepped foot inside HQ and the girls had left Genma and Tenzou to write the report back at the office reserved for them.

"Let's hit the showers, kiddo."

Sakura put her sweaty uniform on the laundry basket and hung her mask on Yuugao's locker. Later, Tenzou would bring it to administration to put under her name so she could pick it up when they summoned her for another mission. Since Sakura wasn't an official ANBU member, she didn't get a locker so she put all her stuff in her teammate's.

It was weird, being at headquarters. Even after over six months of on and off missions with Team Ro, she still wasn't quite accepted in the ranks by the other operatives. It made sense, in a way, her tattoo free shoulder was a clear indicator that marked her as an outsider.

ANBU policy was that their operatives should wear masks at all times, even while inside the village. However, like any other place where people spent a lot of time together, these rules had become lax while inside HQ. Many operatives didn't walk through the locker rooms fully clothed and most of them ate their meals at the mess hall without the outer layers of their uniform.

Sakura somehow kept getting side glances when she dropped her genjutsu on her hair and let it take on its natural pink hue. People seemed to be weary of her and she even caught a few operatives putting their masks back on when they saw her.

It was a bit insulting, but she got where they were coming from. The reason they could be lax inside headquarters was because they'd all taken a pledge to protect each other and the Hokage. They were branded as a faction, almost like a cult, by the tattoo on their shoulder. Sakura _was _an outsider in that sense.

It wasn't uncommon for new operatives to come into the shadow forces like she did. Many young people were scouted and asked to join because of their particular skills, without having to undergo the exams the average ANBU aspirant would have to take. What wasn't common about her situation was the fact that she _still _wasn't a proper agent. It was almost like the Hokage herself was lending her skills from time to time but not fully committing to her placement there.

Which Sakura felt was warranted.

If she was stuck in ANBU permanently, she'd have to dedicate much more time to the faction. Any mission they wanted to put her in, she would have to say yes. This way, Sakura was protected by Tsunade and she would be able to continue her training in peace. She was still learning and she felt there was a long way to go before she could safely say she was _ready._

So Sakura would endure feeling like an outsider even if it was quite frustrating sometimes. At least her team got her back.

"I can't believe you skipped on me." Genma pouted from the couch and shot her an annoyed look when she came back with Yuugao in tow. "You know I hate writing the reports."

Sakura moved his feet off the seat and dropped herself next to him, protesting a bit when he put his feet back up on top of her legs.

"I didn't leave you to write the report, jiji." Sakura squeezed his shins with her hands and grinned cheekily at him. "I left Tenzou-taichou to do it."

She could feel her taichou's glower before she even looked at him. Yuugao laughed and sat herself down on top of the table right next to where he was slaving away at a scroll. She leaned over to read it.

"And it looks like he did a bang up job at it, Wolfie." Yuugao gave Tenzou two thumbs up. "Great job, Taichou."

Genma barked a laugh and Sakura chuckled lightly at the man's expanse. Tenzou-taichou was a big old softie even if he was scary sometimes.

The light atmosphere of the room was ruptured when the door that led them towards the outside corridor banged open. Sakura managed to contain the full body flinch that came with being surprised and tried to remind herself that they wouldn't be attacked inside headquarters even as her hand subconsciously inched towards her holster.

A tall man wearing a dog mask and long white cape stood at their doorsill.

"Commander!" Yuugao greeted him, her eyes blinking slowly in confusion and Sakura tensed in her seat.

Genma seemed to sense this, or maybe he thought the man deserved the minimum of deference, because he sat up next to her but didn't go any further. He pressed his thigh to hers subtly and Sakura breathed a tiny, almost imperceptible sigh.

"Is that for me?" The man nodded his head at the scroll Tenzou hadn't stopped writing on. His voice was unbelievably soft and the careful, deliberate tone of it made the hair on her arms stand on end.

To Sakura's great surprise—because what the actual fuck, this was the _ANBU Commander—_he took off his cloak and hung it on the back of a chair before carelessly plopping down on it.

"Hai, hai," Tenzou smiled briefly at the man. "I'm almost done. There were no complications."

"Good." The man sighed then took off his mask and let it drop to the table.

Sakura couldn't help but stare at him. He was older and at the same time younger than she expected him to be. His dark hair didn't hold a single white strand and the only lines on his face were those tiny ones around his eyes but he looked… mature.

If Sakura had to guess, she'd say he was anywhere between forty and fifty.

His eyes were dark brown and completely, uniably _normal. _Just like the rest of him. Like he'd put himself together in the morning with the sole intention of blending in, of looking just like the next person. Sakura couldn't find a way to describe him without it matching the description of at least a dozen other shinobi.

"Haruno, right?"

Her gaze snapped back to his and she unconsciously tilted her head to the side. Now that he was looking at her, she could see something behind his eyes. Something deliberate and old and maybe the tiniest bit mocking, like the whole interaction was a play he'd seen before and he was waiting for her to make her move to react accordingly.

Sakura narrowed her eyes and gave him a smile.

"Yoroshiku," she said, polite but not too polite, slightly threatening if you looked at it a certain way.

The smile he gave her echoed hers and Sakura felt a chill run down her spine.

"I think it's about time you became an official member of my little gang, don't you?" His voice was light and Sakura fought the urge to sneer at him. He was annoying, she found. He reminded her a bit too much of the way Kakashi wore his fake squinty eyed smile around the village.

"Ah, I've been wondering why you hadn't marked her yet, old man." Genma moved his senbon around his mouth with a grin. "She'd wear the tattoo well, don't you think? But maybe it'd look weird as she grows up…"

Genma's insinuation was clear to everyone in the room. Even if he didn't look the least bit threatening, his words held a clear warning. _She was too young._

Sakura saw the look Tenzou and Yuugao exchanged but they didn't speak up.

"No one ever had that problem before." The Commander shrugged good naturedly.

"Yeah, you're right." Genma leaned back on the couch and let his arms rest on the back rest. "You can't get any taller if you're dead, I suppose."

The mood of the room got heavier with that but the Commander seemed unaffected. He turned his face from Genma as if he hadn't spoken and busied himself taking a scroll from his pocket. He opened it and placed it on top of the table before inching it slightly towards Sakura.

"If you sign here, you'll become an official member, Haruno." His eyes locked onto hers intensely even as his voice remained light and airy. "You'll have full access to every part of the facility at all times without having to be chaperoned, that includes the library and the mess hall. This will also mean you're consenting to the ANBU seal being placed on your shoulder and the Wolf alias will be yours for as long as you're alive."

Sakura noticed he didn't say for as long as she was in the forces. She knew no one _really_ retired from ANBU. She nodded at him. He was hiding something.

"And my team?" She asked instead of what she really wanted to know.

"You'll be officially assigned to all Team Ro missions but medic nins are in high demand." He shrugged again as if to say it wasn't his call. "You'll go where you're needed."

Sakura hummed.

"Does Tsunade know about this?"

_Ah, right on_.

She knew she'd caught him when he took a tiny breath to start his next sentence. It was the same tick Kakashi had, a slight deliberate breath as if they were preparing to speak and an immediate blink.

It wasn't much to go by but Tsunade hadn't said anything about this to her. In fact, she seemed to want her out of ANBU as soon as possible. _Now, how to play this_.

"Of course," he said, his smile growing slightly bigger, making his eyes crinkle more.

"Of course," Sakura repeated, smiling amusedly at him. She watched as he stayed completely still, not letting his posture betray how annoyed he was that she had seen through him. Sakura contained her smile.

For what reason could he possibly want her in his 'little gang'? So far, she'd only been taking missions coming directly from Tsunade to Team Ro, it was safe to say that the Commander had no say on that. She just didn't quite understand why he'd want complete control over her.

She wasn't a jounin yet, so she'd have to take extra ANBU training if she was to keep up with whatever mission required a medic nin. She was also a ticking time bomb, if anything happened to her, Tsunade would immediately unleash hell on him.

Sakura dropped her act and stared seriously at the man in front of her. She looked deep into his eyes, Inner taking in every detail on his face.

"Why do you want me?" She asked him, her voice barely above a whisper, as if she was talking to herself.

The tension in the room was so thick, she heard Genma's breath hitch as he sat up straighter. There was a beat of silence before the Commander dropped his smile as well.

"You're skilled," he said simply. "You could do a lot of growing here. Your talent wouldn't be wasted."

"I'd be trapped," Sakura countered, her eyes narrowing minutely. "And my talent isn't being wasted where I am."

"The council is holding you back and we both know it." His smile was back, just as fake as before and the similarities to Kakashi's were uncanny. Sakura shrugged.

"Being where I am lets me follow through with my goals," Sakura countered. "I would be stuck here otherwise."

"You mean getting Uchiha Sasuke back." The way he said it, so simply, almost callously made her hackles rise. There was absolutely nothing simple or easy about the Sasuke situation and it made her want to hit his overly normal face. She wondered if he knew about the truth behind the Uchiha Massacre, he had been Uchiha Itachi's superior afteral.

"And Uzumaki Naruto." Sakura fought to keep the aggression out of her voice. "Having them both safe inside Konoha, by my side."

The Commander stretched his legs in front of him and considered her for a moment. Sakura was beginning to really dislike the guy even if his resemblance to Kakashi were slightly endearing in an annoying way.

"You could have access to all our knowledge." He nodded to himself, like he was trying to find the right way to go about this and had just seen an opportunity. "You could be trained by the best of the best in here. You could _become _the best of the best in here. Don't you think you'll need a lot of skill to follow through with your goals?"

Sakura scowled at him. He'd found exactly the right buttons to press. He'd seen through her and rightly assumed her need for validation and her never ending thirst for knowledge and skill aprimoration. He'd played her overwhelming love for her teammates like a fiddle. He took a shot and Sakura learned that his aim was ruthless.

She scoffed, got up and stretched lazily.

"This is getting tiresome." She moved closer to the man and he raised his eyebrows in a look of genuine surprise. "I won't take any missions that Tsunade herself hasn't specifically approved. I'm her apprentice before I'm Wolf."

She could see Tenzou and Yuugao smiling to her left but her focus was still on the man in front of her. His face was serious as he gazed up at her.

"Deal."

He stretched his hand out to her but Sakura didn't take it. Instead, she picked up Tenzou's discarded pen and handed it to him.

"Write it down, sign it and mark it with your blood and _then _we have a deal."

The Commander chuckled and there was a genuine smile on his face when he did as he was told.

"I like you, kid." He used the tip of a kunai Sakura hadn't seen him handle to pierce the tip of his thumb. "You remind me of someone."

"Likewise," Sakura scoffed, making sure he knew that wasn't a good thing.

Sakura signed it herself and marked it with her blood before nodding at him. Genma groaned and Sakura turned to see him pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You'll be the death of me, Petal."

Sakura smirked.

"If you don't die of old age first, Jiji."

The Commander barked a laugh and Sakura was surprised at how warm it sounded. He got up and she had to fight a flinch from how tall he felt compared to her.

"Go get your mask and a uniform and head towards the training mats when you hear the cong." He nodded at the door leading towards the main square where Yuugao and her had just come from. "Yuugao."

"Haai," Yuugao jumped down from the table and offered the Commander a bow before steering Sakura by her shoulders.

"He's annoying," Sakura said, knowing full well that they were still well within their hearing range, and the door closed the laughter of the men inside. "Reminds me of Kakashi a bit too much."

For a second, she thought she'd offended Yuugao as she remembered how fiercely the woman had defended Kakashi against that loudmouth missing nin. They entered the changing rooms and Sakura began to strip before she heard Yuugao give a soft snort.

"I guess he does remind me of senpai in a way." Her voice was soft and contemplative as Sakura put her uniform back on. "It makes sense doesn't it?"

"Does it?" Sakura shot back, an incredulous look on her face as she tightened her pouches.

"Oh, I guess you wouldn't know that," Yuugao said, her eyes widening a bit. "Sometimes I forget you're so young, Wolfie-chan."

Sakura rolled her eyes at the nickname and gave her senpai a deadpan look. Yuugao laughed but answered without pretenses.

"Kakashi-senpai was just fourteen when he got into ANBU," she explained. "The Commander was the one who personally trained him before he took over as captain of Team Ro."

Huh.

That explained everything and nothing at the same time. She wondered how many of Kakashi's quirks she'd deciphered through the years she'd find in the Commander and just how she could play that to her advantage.

Before she could question her senpai any further, a loud cong echoed through the HQ. It was time.

The ceremony was over quicker than she'd expected. It seemed like all the shinobi inside headquarters were lined up before the Commander as he branded the dark red seal on her shoulder.

It hurt like fuck and Sakura was glad for the mask over her face because it hid her grimace. She thought, not for the first time, that maybe she understood why Kakashi wore his everyday.

The mark looked like blood on her porcelain skin.

The Commander explained that the seal contained a special kind of jutsu in case she got caught. Some missions were done without the possibility for extraction and she was to activate it if she thought the enemy had a chance of killing her. Immediate termination of her life and destruction of her body.

The ceremonial words the Commander said echoed Tsunade's the first time she was assigned a mission with Team Ro. Sakura felt like those words would be forever ingrained in her soul.

_Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai deals in the shadows and in the shadows only. May the Will of Fire burn bright and guide you through the shadows._

Sakura changed back to her day clothes, glad that she'd chosen a long sleeved shirt that day. Distantly, she wondered when she'd find the time to buy new clothes that covered her tattoo during summer time.

She put her uniform and mask inside a bag Yuugao provided her and started making her way out of HQ. She'd have to stop by the store to buy more sake before she went home to tell her shishou the news. She would _not _be happy.

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_Let me tell you, this chapter was a surprise to myself hahahah I had no idea I was creating this Commander character until the words started coming to me. He's a real character in the anime btw, I just gave him a bit more depth. And some weird relationship to Kakashi lol more on that later maybe?_

_Nara Shikaku! Some of you guessed right on that one hahaha I didn't want to make y'all wait so long for another update after last chapter's bomb so I hope you liked it :)_

_For the reviewers who guessed right, you guys can leave another review in this chapter asking for a prompt and I'll write it as soon as I can! UHUUUU It can be anything Kakasaku! It can be a scene in this universe I created or a cOmPlEtE AU (college teacher AU, soulmate AU, coffee shop AU, YOU NAME IT DEAR READER!) You can also request it over at Tumblr where I'm juliette-deschemps, just make sure you put your username so I know who you are hehe_

_Y'all have no idea how last chapter's reviews hit me right in the feels. You guys made me cry so hard hahaha I wanted so bad to just sit down and answer every single one of them but for some reason I couldn't? I don't know what happened, I just got really overwhelmed every time I typed something down and that doesn't make any sense because I love every single word you guys wrote for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!_

_You're the best readers someone could hope for and you really make my day, specially during this fucking quarantine that I'm feeling I'm about to go iNsAnE. 51 days and counting._

_This chapter! Personal promise! Reply to every single review I get even if it is with a very creepy tonelessly written i love you._


	20. Loyalty in the People You Love

_This chapter is dedicated to little_bean who reviewed every single one of my chapters as she read them. Let me just say this, it is never ever EVER annoying when you guys do that, okay? When you guys get really excited about this story and start guessing things in the comments or when you leave a lot of words for me to read. I love every single one of them._

_Little_bean won a prompt for her efforts hahaha so expect a short ks one-shot very soon 3_

_(P.S.: Go check out her ks fic! It's called "looking for the truth"!)_

_(P.S.2: This chapter was supposed to be named Loyalty In The Eyes of The People You Love but FFN hates me and didn't let me write it all.)_

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Sakura got home that night when the sun was setting, Tsunade's shouts echoing in her head. The woman was _not _happy with the Commander going behind her back like that.

She confirmed, after quite a bit of cursing, that he probably wanted her skills in ANBU because it was rare to see a medic nin so skilled in combat like her. Tsunade had put a new crack in her office table but in the end she had barked a laugh when Sakura explained the bargain she made and there was pride in her eyes and maybe something more. Like she had more to say but was holding back for some reason.

Instead of actually saying what Sakura could clearly see she wanted to say, Tsunade had slapped her hands on top of her table making the abused wood creek threatenly, created a privacy seal and started laying out what she knew of the Commander.

Usui Toshio, forty-nine years old, widower, no children. He had a tragic backstory much like everyone else, parents died in combat before he graduated from the Academy. He fought in the Second Shinobi World War and during the third was already an ANBU captain. Apparently, he'd been the Commander for ANBU forces ever since just before the Kyuubi attack where he lost his wife.

"Do you think he's trustworthy?" Sakura had asked her because, in the end, this guy was a serious player in their game. In most meetings between the daimyo and the Hokage, the council was present but so was the ANBU Commander. He had a voice, politically speaking, and on top of that, maybe the most important part was that this guy was supposed to be the leader of the force that was created to act under the Hokage specifically, to protect Tsunade with their life if need be. If he wasn't safe, they would have to knock him down.

"I checked he's not in Danzou's pocket." Tsunade had looked far away at that point and Sakura wondered what memory she had gotten lost in. "I also knew his wife. He used to be one of the good ones. That being said, a lot of shit has happened since then and while I do trust him as a shinobi, I don't trust him with everything." She had looked back at Sakura with finality. "He's not Danzou's but I'm not bringing him into the loop anytime soon."

The message was clear. He could be trusted, Sakura could follow his leadership, but Tsunade wasn't about to spill all her secrets to the man.

It had alleviated some of Sakura's worries. She didn't like the fact that he'd gone behind Tsunade's back but in a way, knowing that he was committed to the village and not Danzou had made her appreciate the fact that he did.

It showed her that he was a man who wasn't above breaking the rules to do what was right by his shinobi. In the same way that Tsunade didn't completely trust him, he probably didn't completely trust her either. He was playing it safe. Getting a medic like her inside his ranks wasn't about anything else but keeping his shinobi safe in the end, and she respected that.

She respected that at the same time that she filled away that bit of information to be used later. Usui Toshio was a man who cared, even if it didn't look like it at first glance.

In the end, Tsunade had agreed that ANBU would be good for her but there had been promises of increasing her workload because of her little stunt. _You want more, girl? I'll give you more._

Sakura shuddered thinking what was ahead of her.

She knew it had been the right decision, even if she did feel a bit like she'd signed her soul over to the devil. The kind of skill aprimoration ANBU provided was something she couldn't achieve as a simple Leaf Chunin, even with all her perks as Tsunade's apprentice. She also knew that being in the shadow corps might make some things easier when it came to taking Danzou and his Root operation out.

With a sigh, Sakura opened the front door to the Senju mansion, letting her shoulders drop when it closed behind her and she felt the privacy seals activate.

"Tadaima," she muttered, not expecting a reply.

"Okaeri, stranger."

Sakura paused in her next step, her whole body tensing. There was a beat where Sakura contemplated how tired she must have been to not have noticed another chakra signature from inside the house and in the next, a kunai was in her hands as she turned towards the living room.

Sitting on her sofa, were Tenten and Ino.

With a harsh expel of her next breath, Sakura holstered her weapon and crossed her arms at them. Both girls looked at her amusedly, Tenten raising her hands in mock surrender.

"I was this close to taking both your heads off." Sakura pinched her fingers together and stepped closer to them.

"Sorry, sorry," Tenten placated her before Ino could add tinder to the fire. "We would have let you know we were having a pajama party if we could actually find you anywhere in the village, you know."

Sakura fought the urge to freeze at the offhand comment. She had been admittedly gone from the social scene for a while there, her missions and unofficial training with Team Ro taking most of her time. It would take a while for her to settle into her new routine, she was sure.

Thankfully, they didn't press the matter, Ino just hugged her tightly before steering her towards the couch and forcibly pushing her to sit down. She pointed to a bunch of items on the coffee table.

"Cake, hot chocolate, sake and corny movies." Ino sat down on one side of her and Tenten on the other.

"Why are we having a breakup date night?" Sakura said, one eyebrow raised and her hands grabbing for the sake before any of the girls could get to it first.

"Ino's last beau broke up with her," Tenten snorted.

"I'll have you know, I was the one doing the breaking up, thank you very much" Ino sniffed primly and reached for the movie selection. "Which one?"

"This one." Sakura pointed to the pinkest of the titles. "You broke up with Yosuke?"

"_Daisuke," _Ino and Tenten said at the same time and the older girl continued, "Ino broke up with Yosuke about two weeks ago."

"Honestly, Sakura, do keep up." Ino shot her a fake glare before moving to put the movie on. Sakura snickered and raised her hands in defeat.

"Sorry, sorry," she laughed. "It's hard to keep track of so many."

Sakura dodged a hot chocolate soaked marshmallow and side hugged Ino when she sat back down.

"You would have been invited to that breakup date night if you were anywhere to be found." Ino looked at her pointedly, her pupiless eyes staring right into Sakura's soul.

Sakura fought the urge to gulp guiltily and forced herself to keep staring into her friend's eyes. Of course, Ino wouldn't let it go. She'd just let Sakura _think_ she was safe from any further interrogations and wait until she could pounce. Sakura almost pouted.

"I was away on a mission," she said simply. The best lies always came from half truths, after all.

"Right," Tenten said slowly. "We thought you might be, so we checked the mission roster."

The two girls shared a look that Sakura immediately saw through. _Shit. _This had been an ambush from the beginning and Sakura had walked right into it.

Sakura took a deep breath but before she could even begin to formulate a plan to escape, Tenten was hugging her around her middle, pinning both her arms to her torso while Ino attacked her.

"Hey!" Sakura yelled as Ino stretched the collar of her shirt so far down it made its way all the way past her shoulder. Sakura froze when Ino gasped.

_Shit, shit, shit._

Her first day as an official ANBU operative and she was already revealing herself to people.

"I knew it!" Ino pointed an accusing finger at Sakura and Tenten let her go. "I knew you were doing something shady! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!"

"Okay, okay, I get it." Sakura sighed. "This was supposed to be classified information, you nosy bitch."

Ino and Tenten looked at her and neither girls said anything for a few seconds. Sakura opened her mouth to explain things, to tell them the story behind her promotion but nothing came out. She wasn't sure where to begin.

Sakura trusted the girls implicitly. She knew that if it came down to it, both of them would support her in her fight against the Council and Danzou and that they would understand why she _needed_ to go into ANBU.

But the truth was _she didn't want to tell them. _

Not yet, at least. The Rookies weren't inexperienced by any means but there was a certain kind of innocence to them that Sakura envied. She knew the world they lived in would eventually knock them down to the dirt and force them to grow up like it did her but if she could just for a little while protect that innocence, for as long as she could, she would.

"I got offered a place on a team there." Sakura shrugged and then laughed good naturedly. "Everything is confidential, though, so don't even try to get something out of me, you hear me?"

Ino looked at her like she was either really happy or really scared and for a second it looked like she might start crying, which made Sakura's eyes widen. Before she could even think of something to say to stop the waterworks, Tenten stepped in.

"Don't freak out, Ino-chan." She smiled reassuringly. "Oji-san says that ANBU is harsh but that they all become something like brothers and sisters in there, that they protect each other. Sakura-chan is not alone."

Sakura gaped at her. The owner of that weapons shop and the old man who adopted Tenten after her Academy graduation has been telling her about ANBU?

"How would Oji-san know that?" Sakura wondered out loud and Tenten laughed.

"He's a retired ANBU captain!" She said proudly. "A lot of those masked guys come around to buy things from him too, so… I kind of pestered him until he told me a few stories about his time there."

"Okay." Ino nodded slowly and took a deep breath before letting it out harshly. "Well, at least you opened up a whole new pool of hot guys to explore. This time you might actually manage to find yourself a boyfriend."

Sakura punched her on the shoulder and laughed along with Tenten.

"Shut up, Ino!"

The girl shrugged unapologetically and reached towards her hot chocolate. She poured an alarming amount of sake into it and turned to Sakura assessingly.

"You'll need new summer clothes to hide that tattoo." Ino nodded to herself and turned back to the movie. "We'll go out this weekend to do some shopping. Maybe Hinata will be able to join us this time."

"Oh, yeah," Sakura said, immensely glad they were past the subject of ANBU. "Why isn't she here today?"

"Something about feeling bad about showing up to your house without you inviting her." Ino waved her hand and scoffed.

"You mean that she actually has manners, unlike you two heathens." Sakura teased them but Ino just shrugged and Tenten laughed.

"Alright, let's make this night interesting!" She pumped her fist in the air much like Lee sometimes did. "Every time the main couple eye-fuck, we take a shot!"

The girls snickered and Sakura settled herself for a night of relaxing. She wouldn't fall asleep, the chance of her having one of her episodes was too high, but she would let herself wind down and enjoy her friends' presence.

That night, as she lay in her futon with both girls pressing against her sides, Sakura wished she could protect them from the ugly truths of the village. She knew it was unreasonable, that they were ninja just like her, but still she hoped. The only thing she could do, she concluded when the sun was already peeking through the horizon, was make sure she was strong enough to protect them.

Sakura got up slowly and, almost without thinking, put on her shishou's genjutsu to make the shadows beneath her eyes disappear. As she went around cooking the girls breakfast, she promised to herself that no matter what, she would keep getting stronger so they could retain a bit of their innocence.

Even if it meant signing a deal with the devil.

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Sakura opened her eyes to the first ray of sunlight coming through her window. She blinked blearily for a few moments, her thoughts lazy as she stretched on her futon. With a sigh, she forced herself to get up.

She had never been a morning person. Sure, she was used to getting up at the crack of dawn now and was beginning to acquire the ability to sleep wherever she was at any given time during her missions with Team Ro, but waking up never really came naturally to her when she was relatively safe inside the village.

On Sundays, she took special time off her routine to just _wake up late_. It was silly, but she quite enjoyed the feeling of waking up to lunch sometimes.

Sakura went about putting her futon away and jumped headfirst into a cold shower before she could convince herself that she didn't really need to do anything that day. When she got to the kitchen, sans her flak jacket but otherwise with her uniform complete and with her hair still drying around her shoulders, Tsunade was already there.

"Morning, Shishou," Sakura said before moving to the fridge to get them something to eat.

Tsunade just grunted in response while she nursed her cup of coffee because while Sakura wouldn't consider herself to be a morning person, Tsunade was another category in itself. She couldn't even put words together before she had at least _some _caffeine in her veins.

Her drinking habits also didn't help much. Since they'd taken on this mission, Sakura noticed that her shishou seemed to drink less, mainly because there was so much to do she just simply didn't have the time. Her sense of duty towards the village spoke louder than her vices most days.

However, that didn't mean Tsunade wasn't one to indulge. It was common to find the woman working on paperwork and drinking sake late at night and that made mornings a particularly hard battle to fight.

They ate in silence before each of them went on their way. Shizune came in right before Sakura left, a pile of paper on her hands and a frazzled smile on her face.

Sakura gave the women twin kisses on their cheeks and resisted the urge to sigh as she made her way to the training field while tying her hair in her usual braid. From the looks of it, today would be a busy day at the office.

This week had been particularly tiring and not because of her workload but because of stupid _social obligations. _Sakura scoffed. Last week had been her fifteenth birthday and she'd been away on a mission to the southeast coast of the Land of Fire with her team.

It was an easy assassination mission, but they had to stay and make sure the business transactions their target had going on were thoroughly canceled before going back home. Staying at the beach for her birthday was far from exhausting but when she got to Konoha, it seemed like all of her friends were seeking her out.

Sakura was tired from all the _talking. _

Today would—hopefully—be the last day of celebrations, this time with Team Ro themselves on their usual bar. The Rusty Kunai was far too busy for Sakura's liking but she didn't mind making that sacrifice for her team.

Sakura finished her training routine and went straight to the hospital to see if there were any cases she could take off Shizune's shoulders or any paperwork that she could bring to Tsunade for the day.

Shizune-senpai showed her latest research at the lab and scheduled a time of the week for Sakura to come back and work on her poison studies before handing her a stack of files and waving her goodbye.

When she got to Tsunade's office, the place was a mess with many shinobi inside talking at once, either to each other, to Tsunade, or to Shikaku-san. Sakura put the paperwork on top of Tsunade's desk and moved around the room to try and see what fire she could put out first.

She helped a few of the civilians clan elders she could identify from her time as a child. One or two seemed to recognize her and immediately attacked her with complaints and demands. Sakura politely said good morning to them, smiled prettily and kindly shut down any wayward line they were aiming for while making sure they felt validated.

She wrote down the reasonable requests that she thought they could meet and set a date that week for them to come back for tea with the Hokage. Her smile was sharper as she set the date, her eyes boring on the civilians to impact the importance of them following the schedule and stop showing up unannounced.

By the time they left, the office had cleared out considerably and it was easy to hear her shishou bark a laugh.

Sakura smiled sardonically at her and received a thumbs up in response as she went about forging Tsunade's signature on several official papers.

"See why I keep her around?" Tsunade laughed again and this time Shikaku huffed a laugh of his own.

"You do know that forging the Hokage's signature is a crime, don't you, Haruno?" Shikaku stood by the open window, his torso leaning outside as he smoked a cigarette.

"Put that thing out, brat," Tsunade barked but Sakura was pleased to see she refrained herself from throwing her paperweight at him. "Sakura does what she's ordered to do."

"I see." Shikaku rolled his eyes as he expelled the last bit of smoke from his lungs before putting his cigarette out. "Have you told her the good news yet?"

Sakura raised her eyes from her work and cocked her head to the side. Tsunade's eyes widened and she searched for something under a stack of files before letting out a little "Aha!" when she managed to find a small scroll that had fallen on top of an opened drawer.

"Here you go."

Sakura got up from her chair on the corner of Tsunade's table and broke the seal on the scroll to see what's inside. A tiny gasp escaped her.

"You're officially summoned to participate in this year's Jounin Exams," Tsunade said, a smile so big on her face that made Sakura wonder how long she's been wanting to tell her this. "That is your application file, you can see all the people that indicated you and the time you have to come back here with that signed for further information. Congratulations, brat."

She was really shocked. She obviously knew that's where she'd been heading but she never thought the Council would approve. She was fifteen and came from a civilian clan and they _hated_ her. Sakura read the scroll and figured that they couldn't have had any choice on the matter, not with how her application form was written.

**NINJA: **Haruno Sakura

**AGE: **15 yro

**NINJA REGISTRATION NUMBER: **012601

**RECOMMENDATIONS: **Shiranui Genma, Yamashiro Aoba, Namiashi Raidou, Mitarashi Anko, Shiokawa Kaito, Uzuki Yuugao, Tenzou, Nara Shikaku

**CLAN AFFILIATION: **Senju

She had the support of both the Senju and the Nara clans. It felt surreal. Like everything that she had worked for was finally panning out. Sakura wanted to climb to the roof of the Hokage Tower and shout at the top of her lungs that she'd made it. She wanted to laugh with all her friends and to hunt Naruto down so she could hug the shit out of him. She wanted to meet with Team Ro and thank them for helping her grow. And even a tiny bit of her wanted to crawl into her futon and cry.

Sakura put the scroll inside her pouch and bowed.

"Thank you," her voice wasn't thick with emotion like she thought it would be and she felt grateful for that.

"You're a great shinobi, Haruno." Shikaku's praise settled warm on her chest and she smiled brightly at him, getting a nod in response.

"She knows that," Tsunade scoffed and waved her hand dismissively. Sakura turned her smile towards her shishou and let it get sharper as she saw the gleam in her eyes. They wouldn't celebrate things yet, she knew. They would celebrate when the exam passed and Sakura got promoted because they both knew _she would. _Then, they'd break out their best bottle of sake and get properly smashed.

"Don't forget to sign the consent form at the end," Shikaku reminded her with an amused smile. "In case you die, of course."

Sakura and Tsunade both rolled their eyes.

"Ninja are so dramatic," Sakura murmured, making her shishou laugh once again.

"Get out of here, brat. Go get us some lunch."

Sakura left the office with a smile. It felt like the weight on her shoulders had gotten lighter. Not because she had any less to worry about, but somehow, she felt stronger, more capable to carry anything the world threw at her.

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Sakura was steered against her will towards the back booth at the Rusty Kunai by Genma's strong hands.

"I don't see why we're doing this," she complained for the hundredth time that night. Genma scoffed for as many times.

"We, the dear jounin of your life, are celebrating your appointment to the upcoming Jounin Exams, Blossom." He squeezed her shoulders and prompted her to take a seat. "And properly celebrating your birthday."

It wasn't that she was unhappy to see them, most of her grumpiness was exaggerated and he probably knew it. But goddamnit the day had been long and she was _tired._

She scooted all the way to the end of the booth so he could sit down next to her. Tenzou and Yuugao shouted happy greetings that were a bit too loud and too overly affectionate for them to be anything other than drunk.

"How the fuck do you even know about that, I didn't tell anyone!" Sakura squinted at them. "Were you spying on me?"

"No, you little paranoid pinky… _ninja_," Tenzou slurred, his finger pointing in her general direction as he all but yelled at her. Yuugao snickered. "There's a biiig jounin meeting the day before the Hokage gives away the summons and we all get the, uh, get the list of the candidates before the test."

Tenzou-taichou was a _loud _drunk.

"Why?" Sakura asked miserably and greedily grabbed for the rest of their sake, slapping away all the too-fast-for-normal-eyes-to-catch hands reaching for it. She didn't want anyone knowing she was going to participate in the exams in case she didn't pass. Not that she wouldn't, she reminded herself with a frown, she was more than capable of making it to jounin.

_Unless another snake decides to crash in, _she smiled internally at the morbid thought.

"That way we can _sheenks, sheenks," _Yuugao motioned her hands as if she was holding a katana and decapitating someone, "eliminate the candidates who look good on paper but are particularly _nasty _in real life."

Sakura chuckled at the woman and felt the tension she'd been carrying in her shoulders lessen. One couldn't stay in a bad mood whenever Yuugao got _sheenks-sheenks _drunk.

The woman was the epitome of a good kunoichi during missions. Always following orders and never shying away from her duties. Whenever she was training with them or lounging around at headquarters, she was funny and loved to tease. Sakura liked all versions of Yuugao, their personalities matched in a lot of aspects.

With all the many traces of her personality Sakura had been privy to, drunk Yuugao was perhaps the one that she liked the most. The woman was clumsy and exaggerated her movements in a tremendously funny way that always got Sakura to laugh.

Coupled with how Tenzou-taichou loved to complain and loudly exclaim whatever came to mind and the way Genma got exceedingly flirtier and clingy, it was safe to say that getting drunk with Team Ro was one of Sakura's favourites activities.

Sakura and Genma quickly caught up to their teammates and soon enough, she was undeniably, soundly drunk.

"Go get me some food, jiji." She pushed Genma with her foot until he sort of fell out of the booth. He quickly recovered and dragged himself to the bar where he waited until the bartender put a plate of tempura on his arms and came back to their table.

"Here you go, sweetheart." He dropped the plate more than put it down on the table but Sakura couldn't care less. She was starving.

"Very ladylike." Yuugao sent her thumbs up while Tenzou looked at her across the table with squinting eyes and a grimace. She was positively stuffing her face.

"Wha'?" Sakura shrugged. "I barely ate anything today." She turned to Genma when he took another shot and frowned at him. "I told you before, I'm not helping your drunk ass anymore."

"I'm fiiine, pft," Genma scoffed and waved her away. Sakura narrowed her eyes at him.

"I'm serious, Shiranui, I'm never cleaning your puke again."

Genma grinned at her—his most charming one, she noted—and put his arm around her shoulders.

"No puking, I promise."

Sakura scoffed, shrugged his arm off her and went back to her plate.

"How, just—" Tenzou took a deep breath. "Just how can you keep talking about puke and still have an appetite like that?"

Sakura burped, more to see his reaction than anything else, and grinned at him.

"I'm a growing girl." She laughed when Yuugao snorted and sake came out of her nose, gave the girl a napkin and then shrugged. "Had a lot of work today, I didn't have time to eat much."

There was a pause where her teammates looked at each other and Sakura felt dread pool at the base of her spine. Whatever that look was, it was heavy with _something. _Sakura could see it even in her state.

"We know there's something going on, Sakura." It was Tenzou who spoke up, his voice slurring but not nearly as much as before.

Ice froze her insides and her food turned into ash in her mouth. Sakura gulped it down and reached for the sake. Maybe if she pretended she didn't hear him, they'd go back to their night of drunken fun.

"Whatever it is you're doing for Tsunade-sa—" Tenzou continued but Sakura was quick to interrupt him.

"Not here," she hissed, her hand closing around the bottle so strongly it was a surprise it didn't break.

The mood around the table was completely changed, tension hanging around them like a thick fog. Sakura instinctively started metabolizing the alcohol in her system faster. She knew there wasn't a chance she was under attack but her body was quickly falling into fight or flight instincts.

Sakura started when Genma's hand closed around hers and only then she realised she had begun inching it towards her holster. Sakura stared at their hands almost in a trance. Why had she been reaching for her weapons?

"You're safe inside the village, Sakura-chan," Yuugao said, her voice soft even as she slurred her words. "You're safe with us."

Genma's fingers were warm. Sakura focused on that for a while, willing her heart to slow down. His fingers were warm and his large hand completely enveloped hers in his grip. She sighed.

Sakura looked at each of them.

She tried to tell them with her eyes that no, she wasn't safe, even inside the village. Maybe it made her a paranoid to think like that and her experience as a shinobi had really put too much darkness inside her heart but she _knew. _She knew she would be Danzou's first target if he got wind of what was going on.

They looked back at her, alarm and concern clear on their features. They were so earnest. Sakura wanted to tell them everything and let them take care of it while she hid beneath her covers.

"I want to tell you everything," she murmured. Genma pressed more of his body against hers and she relished the warmth it gave her.

"You can trust us," Tenzou said, his voice as low as hers. Sakura managed a small grin.

"I trust you guys with my life, taichou." She tried to reassure them the best she could. "You need to trust me for a little while, until I can tell you everything."

She knew she had already said too much, that their conversation was already suspicious to anyone listening but she didn't care at the moment. Team Ro was where Uchiha Itachi had been placed during his time in ANBU. She figured they would have bonded with him like they did with her and the toll it must have taken to find out he murdered his entire clan...

Sakura had read in an official report that Team Ro had been the first to the scene, Yuugao being the one who found Sasuke.

She wondered how painful it must have been for the team. Sakura knew that if they had been half as close as they were nowadays, they would have noticed Itachi's behaviour and probably be concerned for her because of that.

She smiled her biggest smile then and changed the subject to something lighter. She channeled her inner Naruto and started spouting off different guesses of how the jounin exams would be, trying to get a rise out of them.

Sakura turned the hand Genma still held in his and interlaced their fingers before squeezing. He looked at her with a small smile on his face, nodded and turned back to the others to ply them with more drinks.

Sakura's guesses became progressively more outrageous and with a little help from the sake, they were back to joking in no time.

The sun was almost rising when she helped a plastered Genma into his apartment. They had left Tenzou and Yuugao back at the bar when Sakura realised that the man could barely keep his eyes opened anymore. She scoffed when she had first realised that he lived in the same building as Kakashi and Shizune. He even lived in the same _floor_ as the copy-nin.

"What, did you boys just go to the same realtor and begged for matching apartments?" Sakura joked as she helped him out of his boots before stepping out of hers.

Genma laughed as he tried to stay upright.

"This building got crushed during the Kyuubi attack," he sighed and leaned his head back against the wall. "This area was really cheap when everything got rebuilt and a lot of shinobi bought the premade plants." He pushed himself off the wall and waved his hands. "You got me home as promised, no puke involved! Now shoo, I can make it to bed."

Genma took one step forward and proceeded to trip. Sakura huffed a laugh as she grabbed him by the back of his jounin jacket and held him upright.

"Sure thing, jiji."

She guided him to his bedroom, using Kakashi's apartment layout as a guide. Belatedly, she realised she was giving too much away when Genma looked at her strangely. It wasn't exactly _common_ for students to know where their teacher's bedroom was even if the conditions she had found that out were completely innocent.

Sakura waited with baited breath for Genma to say something, but the man just gratefully pitched forward on top of his bed with a groan. Sakura smiled fondly at him and tried to help him out of his flak jacket.

He grabbed her wrist before she could pull away.

"Sakura." His tone was more serious than she ever heard it. The fact that he was using her name alone proved how important what he was about to say was. "I'm a loyal shinobi."

"I know," Sakura murmured with a frown, not really sure where he was getting at.

"Shut up and let me say this, brat." He frowned back at her and continued to look into her eyes intensely. "I'm loyal to Konoha and I'm loyal to our Hokage but most of all I'm loyal to my friends."

Sakura stared at him, not sure how to proceed. He took a deep breath and raised his eyebrows at her, his face completely serious.

"I'm loyal to you, Sakura," he said like if he didn't correctly enunciate each word perfectly, she wouldn't get the meaning behind them. "I trust you. And I trust your loyalty."

Sakura stared at him with wide eyes for a few seconds. The amount of gratitude and love she felt for her friend suffocated her for a while before she realised what the clouding of her vision meant. She was about to cry.

With a wet laugh she pitched forward and hugged him, uncaring that her tears were now being absorbed by the fabric of his shirt.

"I trust you too, Genma," she whispered to his shoulder.

.

.

.

_Sorry for this very transition-y chapter!_

_I'd like to make it very clear that the Commander is NOT Kakashi lol his name is Usui Toshio. Usui bc I like Kaichou wa Maid-sama and Toshio bc according to the site one of its meanings can be outstanding person/man/husband. What I said earlier about him sitting in on meetings with the daimyo is anime canon, btw! You guys can look him up, although all we ever saw was his hair haha I guessed he was important bc he wasn't like standing guard on the meeting, you know? He was actually sitting down on the table with the fucking daimyo so, yeah._

_I know you guys really want Kakashi (trust me, I am DESPERATE to have him here too) and I promise he'll be here soon, just hang on tight, I gotcha._

_I'm sure y'all have guessed Sakura would get to jounin pretty soon in her career and honestly it just never made sense to me that Neji was the only one who made it after the time jump. The only way I can explain that is because jounin is basically a political job (yeah, I call bullshit on that thing about oooh you have to have two affinities, like? More on this rant next chapter, stay tuned) and then it got me thinking "Wait up. Sakura is *the Hokage's* apprentice. Wtf." So yeah, headcanon is that she didn't get promoted because the council was always road blocking Tsunade left and right. I say fuck that, let's show how hard our girl worked and give her what she deserves._

_I wish ffn let me put links in here but it doesn't so go over to youtube and watch a video called "Drunk Yamato" and I'm sure you'll start loving drunk!Tenzou as much as I do (thank you Tumblr, for showing me things like this)_

_Also, I think I should address this at some point but like... Genma and Sakura are STRICTLY friends in this fic. I'm sorry, I know they have great chemistry and all but there won't be even a tiny, drunken mistake of a kiss between them. Please, try to understand that they have a very real and very beautiful friendship and that they do love each other at this point, but they have no interest in each other apart from that. Ship their BROTP with me, please?_

_I have REALLY exciting news! We officially have a Beta! ! ! Remember that friend that encouraged me to continue with my original plot and said that I could write the shit out of it? Well! She's here to stay and she's fucking amazing. Everyone, please say hi and thank you to Mands on your comments! She's awesome._

_This fic is very complicated and long and before I started writing I thought I'd write it all before posting so I wouldn't stop in the middle of it and leave my possible readers hanging but like... I just couldn't. The thing about fanfiction for me is that it brings people together. I remember during my early fanfiction days back in 2009 that I used to read other comments for the fics I liked and talk to people in the comment section and it was just so fucking good to really feel like I'm a part of something, you know? I continue to write this fic because of your comments on it, because I get to have fun writing it and then watch you guys have fun reading it and I dunno what my point even was._

_I guess, I just wanted to say thank you. To you all and to Mands and specially to those who review and are willing to take this journey with me._


	21. The Jounin Exams Begin

_I'm sorry for the length of this chapter! I was originally gonna write it all in one chapter but it got HUGE so I split it in two... somehow it stayed gigantic all the same haha_

_I suggest y'all sit with a nice cuppa in a comfortable position. Oh yeah, I wrote this listening to the fighting soundtracks from the anime and I totally recommend you reading while doing that. Just head over to youtube and type something like Naruto Fighting Songs, any of the thousands of 2 hour long videos will do._

_Enjoy :)_

_._

_._

_._

Sakura checked and double checked her uniform.

She had four pouches: one custom-made medic pouch on her left hip, dark blue in colour and holding an assortment of things she'd need such as simple antidotes and soldier pills; a standard pouch on her left hip with a special paralysing poison she created with Shizune-senpai, six kunai, ten exploding tags and various senbon; around both her mid thighs were smaller pouches with more kunai, exploding tags a few pepper bombs and about eight meters of ninja wire.

In her chunin flak jacket were tiny scrolls Tenten had given her for her birthday where she could fit inside an assortment of different weapons and ration bars. On her lower back, stuck horizontally to her vest was her black and red tantou.

Four small knives were hidden in her black sandals, on her wrists and even two poisoned senbon lay between the twists of her braid.

She tightened her hitai-ate on her forehead and headed out, absentmindedly scratching the scar bisecting her eyebrow as she went.

She got a few looks from the people on the Hokage tower but she paid them no mind. She usually didn't wear her flak jacket inside the village and certainly not her medic pouch, but she had to be ready for anything.

It had been about a month since she was appointed as a candidate to take the jounin exams and today was the day she and her fellow ninja would hand in their consent forms. If this was anything like the chunin exams, the test began today even if it wasn't explicitly said.

Spring was in full swing and the mild weather allowed her to comfortably wear her dark chunin issued pants and her prefered skin tight, black long sleeved shirt. She felt right at home in the tight lycra and it hid her ANBU tattoo perfectly.

She took a deep breath as she reached the top level of the tower. She had to remain focused. This was it. After she was done with the exams, she wouldn't have anything else to prove to her peers. She'd have reached the utmost top and she wasn't about to let anything stand in her way.

The room she entered was the one usually reserved for when there was a large meeting. It could probably fit all the jounin and tokubetsu jounin at once. Today, there were only about fifteen jounin and ten tokujo. It made sense. This was a test that never had a set date so it would be harder for any possible spies from other villages to gain access and many of the jounin of the village barely stepped foot inside Konoha anymore since the Crush.

While the chunin exams were specially tailored to showcase all of their strengths to the other allied villages, the jounin exams were perhaps one of the most well kept secrets of the village. No one ever knew when it was going to be held, usually because they had to have a certain amount of applicable shinobi to take the test and even then it was all kept quiet when everything was settled.

Sakura recognised a lot of the shinobi present.

Some of them she had been on missions with, such as Kaito, Raido, and Aoba. Others she knew from her chunin exams like Ibiki and Anko. Then, there were some who she found herself familiar with the way they walked, their hair and laugh.

ANBU jounin, she realised.

People whose name she didn't know but had once or twice seen naked around the changing rooms.

Sakura successfully suppressed a smile at the thought but she was sure she had an amused expression to her face when she stepped up to where the Hokage waited behind a low table, sitting cross legged on top of plush red cushions.

"Here you go, shishou," Sakura said before handing the woman her registration scroll.

The minute she stepped into the tower she'd begun to pay attention to genjutsu, not exactly sending her chakra to do any work, but extremely attentive to the tiniest of details. She couldn't afford to be caught unaware. Maybe that was why she didn't even have to turn to catch the projectile sent her way from behind.

"Anko," Tsunade chastised. "Please refrain from decapitating my shinobi before the exams begin."

Sakura brought her hand to her line of sight to see what the woman had thrown at her. A dango stick. Sakura snickered and rolled her eyes at her shishou. As if she would let herself get hit like that.

Tsunade's dry look told her exactly what she thought of her overly confident face but the woman didn't comment on it. Sakura stepped back and let another chunin hand in their scroll. She turned to where Anko was and sent the woman a charming disarming smile before flicking the stick back at her.

It sailed past her eye, the strength of the throw making her hair swoosh, before reaching the trash can.

There was a pause in conversation in the room as most people tried to look like they weren't watching their every move and others unabashedly stared. Anko's laugh was as unsettling as ever but the woman didn't try to approach her and Sakura only gave her a tiny wave before turning around. The woman _had _recommended her after all, she deserved at least some type of acknowledgment even after throwing random objects at her.

Sakura let her feet guide her towards the back of the room where Genma was leaning against one of the many windows. He had a senbon between his teeth as always and the first thing Sakura did was pluck the thing right out of his mouth.

"Careful, jiji, you don't want to choke before you can see me kick some ass." Sakura grinned cheekily at him and only when she heard a laugh did she realise the people around him were actually there _with _him.

Ino's sensei, Sarutobi Asuma, was to Genma's right and to his right was Tenten and Lee's teacher, Maito Gai. Asuma had been the one to laugh and he was still kinda grinning with an unlit cigarette on his lips.

"Jiji?" His dark eyes roved the ceiling. "I didn't think we were quite there yet."

Sakura found herself blushing despite herself. She didn't mean to sound so familiar with Genma in front of his peers. These men were nothing like the ANBU guys they normally hung out with at Headquarters. Would they even find it okay for them to have a friendship as close as theirs? Sakura wasn't sure.

Genma pulled her to him, his arm over her shoulders and her hand immediately went to brace her weight against his chest. His message was clear, even if they did find something wrong with it, he wouldn't give a fuck.

Sakura relaxed against him even as a part of her continued alert.

Gai cut a sharp gaze towards Genma but there was still a smile on his face when he returned her greetings. Sakura figured if anyone would have anything to say, it would be him.

It was weird being in a place full of people that would judge her for being close friends with a man twice her age. She'd become accustomed to the way ANBU just didn't give a fuck about things like rank and age, only skill. It was kind of jarring to realise she'd have to put some distance between herself and Genma.

Given the arm around her slightly tightening when she tried to leave, he wasn't about to let her do that. Damn him.

If her name started to go around the grapevine with stories of sordid affairs, she was going to castrate him while he slept.

"You're Kakashi's student, right?" Asuma asked her.

"Do you see Kakashi here?" She asked instead.

She regretted the acerbic tone of her voice and words the second they left her mouth but she didn't back down. She didn't resent the man anymore but it was kind of unfair that after all she's accomplished by herself, her name was still tied to his like that. She hadn't been the copy-nins student for more than six months and that was over two years ago.

Asuma raised an eyebrow at her while Gai widened his eyes but before they could say anything, Genma stepped in.

"Blossom over here is my teammate now." His words had a tone of finality to them that broke no other arguments and she was glad for it. Even though she kinda wanted to punch him for hinting at her new status as an ANBU operative.

There were more people coming in as Genma drew the two men into conversation and Sakura's eyes wandered around the room. It was to assess the situation around her as much as a way to familiarise herself with the other contestants.

At one point, Gai left and came back with Hyuga Neji under his strong arm. The boy seemed surprised at seeing her there but greeted her with a quiet "Haruno" and a nod.

The surprise on his face had been kind of offensive but not unexpected. Today, she'd get the chance to prove them all that she could make it.

Her gaze continued categorizing everything around her before it fell upon a familiar figure standing to the back of the room.

The man was leaning against a wall, his posture unassuming, everything about him easily forgettable. The Commander was looking straight at her, a small smile on his lips.

Sakura kind of wanted to kick his teeth in when their eyes met and his own closed as his smile grew. Cheeky bastard. She wondered if he knew she was about to be appointed jounin before he roped her into becoming an official member of his 'little gang'. Probably.

She rolled her eyes at him and fought the urge to stick her tongue out. It was amazing how annoying he was without even trying.

Regardless of how irritated she was, seeing him reminded her of something else.

"Where is everybody else?" She asked Genma quietly when there was a lull in their conversation. She could see Gai was occupied shouting something to Neji but Asuma looked like he could be listening in. She'd have to continue this without giving much away.

"They got dispatched yesterday night," he said just as quietly, watching as she twirled his senbon between her fingers. "Undercover job."

Sakura frowned at him, her fingers picking up their pace.

"Without backup?" She asked.

"They're kind of the backup." Genma grimaced at her and her frown deepened. "Hatake sent one of his dogs late last night."

A myriad of feelings churned inside her gut. Concern for Kakashi and her friends sat heavily inside her and she was sure it showed on her face by the way Genma's arm tightened around her.

"Do they have a medic with them?" The senbon between her fingers spun so fast it looked almost liquid now.

"Keiichi is with them." Genma shrugged his shoulder and Sakura scoffed.

"Keiichi wouldn't even be qualified as a fucking nurse, Genma," she said, voice full of scorn even though she didn't hold any ill feelings towards Fox. He was an okay guy in her books and she had to admit his skill in iryo-ninjutsu was passable and even surprising for a guy with no formal training. Still, the concern she felt for her friends outweighed all that.

Genma laughed and his hand grabbed the one she held his senbon.

"You're being careless, Petal."

Sakura's eyes widened. Her movements with the senbon were those of a shinobi that knew what they were doing. The same way she had been looking at people and assessing them, others were surely doing the same to her. To a trained eye, her skill with the senbon was evident and to any shinobi worth their salt it was a given that most people who worked with senbon usually dealt with poison.

Shit, she'd already given way too much away.

With a quick nod, she gave him his senbon back and pushed away from him. This time he let her go.

She had to get her head out of her ass and pay more attention. Tenzou and Yugao were very capable shinobi and Keiichi was a competent enough field solution. Not to mention the fact that Kakashi had Team Seven's uncanny ability to always come out okay in the end. She had to focus on her exam now.

"Alright everyone, can the jounin wannabes please form four lines in front of me," Tsunade called, her voice rising above the carefree chatter around the room. Sakura grinned at Neji's offended face when her shishou said 'wannabes'.

Genma winked at her and she waved at him before doing as she was told.

She stood at the back of a line, Neji's long, ridiculously soft looking hair swinging in front of her. There were a total of twelve chunin in the room plus a really big black dog that marked his owner as someone from the Inuzuka clan. It was a very low number and she guessed even fewer passed the exams. Being jounin really meant being elite, after all.

"You're all here because you had at least five recommendations from your peers," Tsunade said in a clear voice, "at least a hundred D-ranks, thirty C-ranks, ten B-ranks and two A-ranks."

Sakura couldn't keep the frown off her face. She knew being promoted to jounin was more of a political job than actually skill based. The only chunin that ever managed to snag enough A-ranks to even _qualify _for the test were those who had connections in good places. And that's where the tokujo came in.

People like Genma who had been orphaned in the war—both his parents lowly genin, canon fodder—and didn't have a clan backing him up. He was a genius in the battlefield, but the furthest his skillset got him was to tokubetsu jounin and a place as an assassin in ANBU.

People like Anko. A bright, extremely talented _woman_ whose reputation had been tarnished beyond repair because of a fucking psychopath of a _man. _The only place she could progress her career being TI.

It was disgusting.

It made her stomach churn and her blood fill with the sudden _need_ to prove the system wrong. She'd gotten there because fate seemed to favor her when it unceremoniously dumped her on Tsunade's lap but her future as a civilian born genin had always been bleak. She'd show them all what people could achieve if they were actually given the chance.

Tsunade graciously got up, spread her feet wide and folded her arms beneath her breasts.

"The jounin exams consist of three phases." She grinned fiercely at them and Sakura heard the guy next to her gulp. She fought a grin of her own. "The first one starts precisely at eight o'clock in the Forest of Death. It's a free for all fight, when we give the signal and you're still alive, it means you passed."

Ibiki moved from his perch on the window behind Tsunade and motioned for each row as he spoke from where they should enter the forest. Each row got a letter N, S, W, E, and each person a number. Sakura would have to enter through the northern gate number forty-four. She wanted to roll her eyes at how ominous it sounded.

"Remember, if you're not inside training grounds forty-four by eight, you're immediately disqualified." Tsunade glared at each of them. "See you there."

In the next second, the room was filled with smoke as all at once, Tsunade, Ibiki, Shikaku and Inoichi all disappeared.

Sakura waited until her fellow chunin all scrambled from their positions, some yelling for their jounin sensei that they didn't come prepared for the forest of death, others running like their lives depended on it and others shouting words of encouragement to themself.

She rolled her eyes and checked the clock. Seven fifty-one. She'd have to run if she had to make it all the way to the northern part of the training ground but she knew she was being observed by the remaining jounin in the room as well as the others contestants.

"Well," she let her voice rise a bit above the noise in the room so she could draw a bit of attention to herself, but not too much. "I'll see you there, Neji-san."

She waved at him and turned around, leisurely stretching her arms as she left the room through the only door even as some chunin desperately jumped out of the windows.

She'd lose some time with this but it was nothing she couldn't make up by taking the secret passage that led to her house. She'd come out around training ground sixty-two and then shunshin all the way to the forest of death. Easy.

The thing was, she wasn't stupid enough to not realise they were already at battle. Her skills were already being assessed by the jounin, her enemies were already sizing her up and taking her actions into account. She looked unassuming, her pink hair making her features look softer even though she probably looked ready to survive war with how she dressed. And her carefree attitude would show that she was either too self-assured or so powerful she could afford to act that way.

Emotional manipulation was a key factor during a fight and everything about her was carefully constructed to keep her enemy on their feet.

When she got to the Forest of Death, she quickly located the hidden camera at the gate and gave it a cheeky wave before immediately putting her usual genjutsu over herself. Once she was inside, she would spend a lot of time unseen and she needed the proctors to know she actually got there before eight.

Sakura matched her chakra to that of a squirrel she saw passing by and jumped towards a tree branch high above the ground. With swift, practiced leaps aided by chakra, she made her way through the forest towards the eastern gates, dodging the natural wildlife, unseen and unheard.

She'd have to be extra careful with Neji. His natural abilities countered hers perfectly and she wasn't sure of the reach of his Byakugan. She estimated at least twice as much as Hinata's but found it better to let someone else deal with him.

During her observations she had noticed that there were three ninja that seemed to have been in the same genin team. That meant they'd have an advantage over everybody else, specially since they got placed in gates near each other.

East gate number seven for the bigger guy who carried a single pouch, no noticeable weapons and looked like he could snap her neck with one hand.

East thirteen for the only girl in the team that held a single katana and a serious scowl on her face.

East eighteen to the lanky dude that had a controlled quality to his movements that set off the warning bells inside her head.

Taijutsu. Kenjutsu. And… ninjutsu?

She estimated their abilities with what little she had gathered as she reached the area near the eastern gate thirteen. It was a calculated guess that they would meet in the middle, so Sakura hunkered down and spread her senses as far as she could without having to spread her chakra.

In her meditative trance she could feel every single being around her. Everything had chakra in it and she could almost see it all. A leaf fell from her branch and she knew it would take exactly 11.43 seconds to reach the forest floor.

She heard a small bird two trees away getting eaten by a snake. She could hear the river in the distance.

A smile came to her face, unbidden.

The last time she had been inside the Forest of Death, she had been nothing but _prey. _She had felt it in her skin, the cold sweat of fear, the feeling of having every single step watched by something dangerous, something that wanted to _eat her alive. _

Now she had inverted the roles. She was a predator, coiled tight and waiting to strike.

Adrenaline rushed through her bloodstream when she heard her prey a few meters away. She took three senbon from her left hip pouch and dipped it in the paralysing poison she had stashed away next to them. She had to choose carefully her first kill otherwise she wouldn't stand a chance against three ninja of their calibre.

With a controlled breath, she chose the guy she guessed was the ninjutsu specialist. The other two were clearly categorized as kenjutsu and taijutsu specialists and she knew she could hold her own against them both if she needed.

Sakura brought her arm back and then quickly forward, at the last second remembering she didn't want to actually _kill him_ and changing her aim slightly before releasing the poisoned senbon. One for the inside of his thigh as he took a step forward, the other to his neck and a last one to his bicep.

She would give it to the guy. He was aware of his surroundings enough that he managed to deflect the one aimed for his arm but Sakura's aim was too good and the strength behind the throw too strong. The other two hit their mark.

Sakura didn't wait for him to fall or for the others to react. The poison was fast acting and he wouldn't be able to move a single muscle by the time she touched the ground. Using gravity to her advantage, Sakura kicked the girl in the back.

There was barely any chakra in the hit but it made her genjutsu drop and the girl broke through five tree barks before coming to a stop at the forest floor, unmoving.

The big guy shouted after his teammates but didn't waste time before aiming a punch to her face. With the force and speed of the hit, she knew she'd have been knocked out cold if she hadn't sidestepped it. No matter how strong he was, he got nothing on Tsunade whenever she trained her.

With calm grace, Sakura's fist closed over his extended wrist and she used his momentum to bring his arm behind his back. The guy was at least two heads bigger than her so she kicked his feet from under him and wrapped her free arm around his neck to cut off his oxygen supply.

"What the fuck!" The man choked as he tried to force his arm out of her grip.

A guy like him was probably used to always being the strongest person in the room, physically. He was probably freaking out that a girl as slight as her could be stronger than him. Sakura laughed.

When his flailing had diminished and with it his strength, Sakura let go of his arm to touch her palm to his forehead.

"Shh," she whispered to him while he grunted in her grip.

With chakra finesse only a skilled medic possessed, she shut down some of his key brain functions so he'd go into a comma.

She was going to lay him gently on the ground when she was suddenly attacked from the back. Sakura dropped him unceremoniously, sending him a mental apology for how the fall must have hurt, before unsheathing her tantou from her back.

The sound of steel on steel echoed through the forest and a flock of birds flew away.

"I thought you'd be unconscious," Sakura told the woman, actually impressed with how she had managed to not only stay awake but also have enough strength to attack her. She had been worried she'd hit her too hard when she saw how many trees she ran through.

"Don't," the woman panted, her dark hair falling on her face and blood dripping from her mouth, "don't underestimate me."

From up close, Sakura could see she wasn't that much older than her. Maybe eighteen or nineteen. She sent a silent prayer that this girl wouldn't take this loss and be discouraged to try again. Konoha needed more women like her.

"I won't hold back this time." Sakura nodded at her because she owed it to her. The girl's eyes widened in fright at seeing that this girl younger than her whose kick had broken at least two of her ribs had been holding back.

Sakura quickly advanced on her opponent, her kenjutsu lessons with Yugao coming to the forefront of her mind. Every movement she made with the blade like an extension of her arm came to her naturally, muscle memory taking over and letting her speed increase, allowing her to think less about her attacks and parrys.

It didn't take long to subdue the girl, she was already tired and heavily injured. With a swift tap of the back of the handle of her tanto to the girl's temple, she was down for the count.

Sakura kneeled next to her and used the same technique she'd used on her teammate to put her into a comma.

"Sleep tight," she murmured to the third teammate who was beginning to choke on his spit. She carefully turned him on his side and put him out as well before going back to the girl.

With careful hands, Sakura healed her more serious injuries.

She didn't know how long they'd have to stay there and if there wasn't anyone to set her ribs back in place, it would be hell later on for the girl. Upon further examination, she decided to heal the microtears along the girl's kidneys and her concussion.

"Yosh," she whispered to herself before hauling the girl and the slighter man on each of her shoulders. Sakura walked casually towards the big guy and held him by his flak jacket before starting to climb a tree with chakra infused feet.

She sat the three of them on a large branch and rummaged around their pouches until she found some ninja wire to tie them down. With a carefree sigh, she sat down next to them and opened up a ration bar.

Sakura searched the trees surrounding them as she munched on the dry, almost tasteless stick. She didn't know if she'd get another break before dealing with the others so she'd take—

There!

Sakura jumped to the next tree over and landed on a thin branch just below the one she had been perched on.

"Yo, shishou." She waved at a hidden camera, making sure her lips could be read in case there were no microphones nearby. "I put those three into a comma, so you'll need to revert that when this is over. Check the girl's ribs too, will you? I put them back but it wouldn't hurt to double check."

She nodded at the camera, feeling a little silly for talking to herself but needing to make sure her fellow konoha ninja would be okay. It didn't matter that this was a competition. They weren't competing against outsiders and she didn't want anyone to _die _in there.

"Oh, yeah!" She was almost about to leap away from the branch before she remembered the lanky guy. "Shizune-senpai, I used _suxamethonium _on Lanky over there. The effects should pass soon but maybe keep an eye on him to make sure he's still breathing, yeah?"

She waved again before putting her genjutsu over herself and leaping towards the next tree.

She'd make her way towards the gate and circle around the training grounds until she could find the three people that came through the southern gates. South twenty-four, twenty-eight and thirty-two. They were probably long gone but she'd be able to pick up their track if they were careless and didn't hide it.

It didn't take her long to reach the southern gate twenty-four. By then she could see from the sun's position that it was around eleven.

The shinobi's tracks were still fresh.

From what little she had seen of him, he had appeared to be from the Sarutobi clan. She vaguely remembered glancing over his profile once. His affinity was air and he used it to enhance his speed in taijutsu. He would be troublesome but Sakura had an advantage over him.

He knew nothing about her while she knew a bit about his abilities and had managed to gather while inside the meeting room that his attitude was brash. He was an act first, think later kind of guy and she could use that to her advantage.

She paused when she noticed a second pair of footprints joining her prey's. It seemed like there was another predator inside the woods.

Sakura upped her pace when she noticed signs of a fight. From the distance, she could barely hear the sound of screams.

Sakura jumped towards a tree and moved quickly through the tree branches before finding a perch where she could see the fight going on. If her prey had already been hunted, she would gladly let whoever it was take care of him before she jumped in.

The Sarutobi boy was on his knees, screaming in anguish as thousands of bugs crawled on his skin. In front of him, an Aburame stood with his palm outstretched. _Fuck, _she really hoped those bugs weren't eating him alive.

A silent command from the Aburame and the bugs left the Sarutobi's face long enough for him to yell.

"Fuck you, you fucking maggot!" His eyes were filled with fury. "I'm going to kill you."

"As if you ever stood on my level, Sarutobi." The Aburame's voice was monotone as everyone from their clan's. "In the food chain, you stand below maggots."

Yikes, that seemed personal.

Sakura really didn't want to step into whatever pissing contest they had going on but she knew this was a great opportunity. She'd known from the start the Aburame would be a tough one to deal with, specially since his bugs deemed all her genjutsu entirely _useless_ and this was the perfect place to—

Sakura slapped her neck where something had landed on it.

Her hand had squashed a tiny black bug. _Fuck. _She'd been made.

Dropping her genjutsu entirely, Sakura let herself fall forward just in time to dodge a swarm of bugs. She scraped her hands along the tree bark to try and slow down before she hit the floor but the impact was still enough to send her rolling through the grass.

Sakura didn't stop to think before sprinting towards the Aburame, tanto drawn and aimed at his vital points.

Another swarm of bugs intercepted her and she cursed when some latched onto her skin. Instead of drawing blood, she could _feel _her chakra slowly being drained. She couldn't even fucking move with how many were around her.

Trying not to panic, Sakura sent her chakra out of her pathways in a forceful burst, pushing the bugs back in its intensity only long enough for her to move out of the way of the swarm. A scream was torn out of her throat from the pain.

With a barely formed theory in her head, she coated every inch of her skin with a thin layer of her chakra. For the bugs to suck her chakra they had to actually pierce the skin, right? This way, she could sacrifice this tiny amount for them and buy herself time to get the fuck out.

She had lost her tantou in the fray but didn't bother looking for it.

Aburame was looking at her in what she could only guess was surprise. She didn't give him enough time to process, only jumped towards him, chakra scalpels in each of her hands. The man sent another swarm towards her and Sakura didn't even think of dodging. She pushed through the heavy dark cloud of bugs and begged for it to work.

It did. Kinda.

The chakra layer had bought her time but the sheer _force _of the swarm threatened to push her off her feet. With a frustrated grunt, Sakura channeled chakra to her legs and _pushed,_ the chakra enhanced movement breaking the ground at her feet and sending her careening towards the Aburame.

She dropped her weight towards the forest floor, slid between his legs and cut his hamstrings with her hands.

His scream was almost inhumane and the fact he was an _Aburame_, a family she'd never heard even a word spoken louder than a murmur, sent chills down her spine. Despite the uneasy feeling in her stomach Sakura didn't falter before turning on her left foot and letting the heel of her other foot come into contact with his temple.

The Aburame flew straight across the small river about ten meters away from them and didn't move any longer.

"Fucking b-bugs," Sakura stuttered. The wave of chakra she'd forced out had frayed her pathways and her whole body was shaking from it.

She used her medical chakra to deal with it but was interrupted when a foot swished past her head. Her instincts had made her move in the last second to dodge the first kick but the second one had caught her right in the cheek.

Sakura used her momentum to flip backwards before jumping towards the tree behind her and landing on a branch with a crouch without turning away from him.

The bugs had clearly done a number on the Sarutobi but now that they were either converging on their master or flying aimlessly, he seemed relatively fine if a bit tired.

"Stupid clan kids with s-stupid fat chakra reserves," Sakura spat blood and raised a hand as if giving up.

The Sarutobi was panting from exertion but she knew he was battle ready and she needed to get ready too.

"You're fast, I'll give you that," she spoke out loud so he could hear her.

It seemed her sudden stop had given him pause as well, like she hoped it would. With a fierce grin, she put both hands to the wrappings on her calves. Her genjutsu had covered the latest weights Lee had given her—_The last set, _he'd said, _you won't need weight training after this one—_and she used this time to take them away.

She held it out for him to see before letting it fall to the forest floor.

The resounding sound of the forest floor exploding echoed around them and the tree she was perching on shook with the force of it.

"Well," she said with a bigger smile and she knew this one bordered on uncanny because Inner had been the one to put it there, "if I lose these weights because of you, you can be sure that I will kill you."

The Sarutobi was eyeing her with eyes so big she wondered idly if they would jump out of their sockets.

In one second she was on top of the tree and the next she had appeared behind him. Lee's taijutsu lessons coupled with Tsunade's had given her a particular style of aggressiveness that she learned terrified her enemies. She let the smile on her face grow as the man grew desperate.

He was good.

Very skilled and a passable challenge for her. Just enough so that she couldn't simply end the fight with one punch—not without killing him, anyway. She had to pull some punches just so that she wouldn't accidentally stop his heart or snap his spine but he went down soon enough.

The first mistake he made was blocking her first punch.

The force behind it broke at least four bones in his arm instantly. The man had _fire_ in his soul, though, and he kept going at her without even letting out a scream for it. Sakura was impressed with his speed but it hadn't been a match for Lee's and she was used to sparring with the kid. All it took was one well aimed punch to his jaw and he was out.

Sakura shook herself out, a shiver making her way down her spine when she remembered the feeling of the bugs on her skin.

Her chakra had continued healing the pathways without her even having to think about it while she fought and she felt marginally better but she was absolutely _sure _she'd have nightmares of this. As if she needed any more fodder for that.

She went back for her tantou and found it lying on the floor.

She put it back on its sheath at the base of her spine and treated these guys like she had the first team she took out. And if she was less careful with them than with the others, well, no one could really fault her for that.

Sakura moved towards the river to drink some water and calculated her next move.

She had already taken out five out of the eleven other participants. There were seven remaining, counting her. Because shishou had said that there would be three phases in total, she figured they'd stop this part of the exam whenever they had an even number.

She could choose to hide away the remainder of the day, she had already taken out more people than what was expected of her, she was sure of that. But no, this was so she could showcase her abilities. She wasn't done yet.

With a resolute nod to herself, Sakura set off towards the middle of the training grounds, keeping the river on her left.

There were many smaller animals fleeing from that area and she had seen at least two flock of birds flying away. She got closer to the centre of the forest and the sounds of battle could be heard if she focused enough.

With a controlled exhale, Sakura put the genjutsu over herself yet again and moved closer until she could see them.

She quickly counted how many people were in the small clearing. Six shinobi, going all out on each other.

If this had been a mission, she would have waited it out, assessed all her opponents carefully before acting. But this was basically a shopping display for the jounin of the village. They would see what each of them had to offer and choose those they deemed strongest. She still had more to show.

Sakura dropped her genjutsu and finally—_finally—_put on the mask and cloak Inner had crafted for her. The intensity of her killer intent paralysed the shinobi in the clearing below and she let them feel the fear she could smell in the air before she jumped down right in the middle of them.

With concentrated chakra on her fist, she punched it into the ground.

"_Shannaro!_" Her yell punctuated the sound of the ground exploding all around them.

Shunshuuda, Tsunade had called this hit, Killer Spring. It was an adaptation of one of her shishou's moves and highly effective. The forest floor rose all around them, broken in tiny petal-like pieces and Sakura used an insignificant amount of chakra to cast a genjutsu over them so that they would appear pink, like sakura blossoms.

There were times in a ninja's career that they should be precise and calculating. Other times called for theatricality.

So far, she had been holding back _so much. _It was getting exceedingly frustrating not being able to let her power loose, to go all out. She didn't think she'd be penalised for killing anyone but at the same time, it didn't feel right attacking her fellow ninja from Konoha knowing that it was very likely she'd end their lives.

So Sakura fixed the amount of power behind her hits to thirty percent of what she usually put. She kicked and punched and moved around the six shinobi around her like water, her movements fluid, one blending into the next one.

She took more hits than strictly necessary, but she could barely feel them. A slice of a katana to her bicep, a fist to her mouth, none of it anything that could even make her pause.

All around her came attacks, she didn't have a single moment of reprieve, no one to have her back. Fire ninjutsu from someone, a wave of water drenching her soon after, a fucking _bite_ that would have taken her leg clean off if she hadn't dodged.

Everything was so unlike anything else she had ever experienced before, it was _exhilarating, _even though she had to hold back on her instincts to kill. It was enough to bring a grin to her face.

At one point, Neji had turned on her and she blocked his hit without thinking.

It was a mistake, of course, because he used the opportunity to block at least six of the tenketsu in her arm with his Gentle Fist technique, messing with the nerves on her arm and rendering it useless.

She quickly moved her chakra through the pathways faster and in more quantity to force them open again. It hurt like a bitch and she made sure to snarl at the Hyuga so he'd know how inconvenient he was being.

Sakura couldn't use any of her training with Lee during a fight with him because he'd surely know all the techniques Lee had taught her. Any weapon work would be a moot point with him as well because of Tenten and all genjutsu was useless. The only thing she could use to her advantage was her training with Tsunade and her mind.

Inner took over and almost immediately lowered her centre of gravity to match his stance. The snarl on her face came straight from her nightmares and she saw it made Neji pause for half a second, probably not expecting such a violent approach from her as the full effect of her killer intent washed over him.

Half a second was all she needed to attack.

She rushed towards him and used her speed and the images Inner had stowed away from his fight with Hinata during the Chunin Exams to mimic his hidden clan technique. Neji's eyes widened as he did his best to defend himself.

While her posture perfectly matched his, she knew her chakra work was crude at best compared to the Gentle Fist. The way her chakra entered his pathways was forceful and not quite as cirurgical as his, the tenketsu burning beneath her fingers more than closing.

It didn't take long for her to manage to get his heart and he doubled over, blood bursting from his mouth.

Their eyes locked for a moment and something passed over them. They could continue this fight and the only possible outcome she saw was either one of them dying. Their skills were the exact opposite and while he put her in a tremendous disadvantage, so did she.

She'd really rather not fight him unless she absolutely had to.

With a quick nod, Sakura stood straighter, drew her tantou and engaged the other katana user in battle, leaving the pale eyed man to fight the Inuzuka.

Judging by the position of the sun, they were really close to sunset. This all out battle royale fight had gone on for _hours _and she could see the effect of it on everyone.

She punched a blonde guy in the gut—with a little more force than she'd wanted to—and he went through a tree. The sound of the thick bark breaking was covered by various small explosions all around them, a thick mist covering the clearing.

Sakura took a startled breath and immediately regretted it. The explosions had come from smoke bombs that released poisonous gas. And she had just taken a big lungful of it.

She tried not to panic even as everyone around her broke into desperate screams. Was this really happening? The proctors wouldn't actually _poison _them, would they? That seemed so extreme.

And if not them, just who would break into the Forest of Death and poison a bunch of chunin? Just one person came to mind. Someone who knew their way around a lab and would have the guts to come back to this place again.

Why would he be here? Naruto was gone and so was Sasuke and she was fucking _alone _this time around god damnit she couldn't deal with any more of this shit—

With a start, Sakura realised she'd started hyperventilating. It took everything in her to gather enough focus to send a rush of chakra to her heart and lungs. She slowed her heart rate enough that the poison wouldn't spread as much when it reached her bloodstream and tried to isolate the poisoned air in her lungs.

She fought to raise her hands to her chest, every single nerve ending _hurt_ like they had been set on fucking fire but she managed to open her jacket and apply her green covered hands to her chest to help the process.

The smoke began to slowly clear away and Sakura kept her work steady even though she wanted nothing more than to take another gulp of air. Her little crisis had made her breathe more than she should have and a considerable amount had already reached her blood.

She was fucking pissed when she noticed the four figures that teleported to the clearing, the smoke completely cleared out now.

Ibiki, Shikaku, Inoichi and Tsunade stood before them.

Sakura coughed up a mixture of blood and poison and spit it at the ground. The other contestants were on the floor, just like her, some of them still writhing in pain but most had stopped screaming.

Ibiki started going around each of them, injecting the antidote as he went.

"If you're still awake," Tsunade said, her arms on her hips, "you passed the first test."

.

.

.

_Whoo this chapter was so hard to write xD_

_I don't even know where to begin talking about it tbh hahaha You guys, I had to do some basic physics calculation and almost *died* trying, no kidding. Somehow, google has anything you'd wanna know about paralysing poisons but absolutely NOTHING on how long a leaf takes to reach the forest floor if it falls from a 10m high tree. So I gathered my friends (on the whatsapp group, stay home!) and we all took a trip down memory lane to our hell years *ahem* I meant high school years. Anyway, we managed to reach the number 0.7 seconds but then one of our smartest friends told us that was disregarding gravity and air resistance and the such so I just said fuck it and decided a leaf takes about 11.43 seconds. Don't believe anything I write._

_You guys probably already know this but training grounds 44 is called the Forest of Death bc the japanese are ready superstitious, basically. I won't get into too much details bc I'll bore you to tears but basically one of the pronunciation for 4 is "shi" which means "death". Just like we westerners are superstitious about the number 13, they have it with 4. So that's why Sakura rolls her eyes when she got placed on gate 44 of the training grounds 44._

_Oh yeah, about Sakura's tracking skills. Well, I was doing some research and came across an article talking about shinobi's and kunoichi's main weapons and the such and it said that ninja were renowned trackers. In the anime, they made it out to be like the only ninja who could track well were those that had extra skills like Kakashi, Kiba or sensory types. That doesn't make sense, so in here, they learn how to track during the Academy and I can just see Sakura becoming really proficient at it bc it's all about looking for signs and patterns. Anyway, that's just a side note that got huge, sorry!_

_I'm not really sure how I feel about this chapter tbh! What do you guys think on my take on the Jounin Exams so far?_

_I've been reaaaaally productive lately! There was that chapter on Sunday and on the same day I wrote and posted a one-shot (called "safe from the rain" go check it out!) and not even a week later here I am with 7600+ words and the next chapter almost finished. I think it's all because I lost my job because of this pandemic a few weeks ago and I've just been on a roll creativity wise and also because I have nothing else to do with my free time. Spite does wonders to my muse._

_That being said! I think the next chapter comes out this weekend! Hihihi HOWEVER, if you want to see it sooner maybe bribe me with some lovely reviews *wink wink nudge nudge* I can totally be bought._


	22. Uchi Naru Sakura

_I wanted to post this earlier today but I only managed to finish this now, sorry! I'm actually really nervous about this chapter so please be kind._

_I hope you enjoy this :)_

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Sakura panted and pushed herself into a seated position, one of her legs stretched out in front of her and the other bent at the knee. The toxin had been harmless, only aiming to trick the nervous system into thinking it was being attacked but not doing actual damage to anything. She only needed to concentrate enough to encourage her cells to work at metabolising it faster.

"Your skills in battle and survival were being observed and this final part of the test was to remind you that being a jounin of the leaf isn't all about your jutsus." Ibiki's scratchy voice boomed over the clearing. "It's about enduring. Be it pain, tiredness or a seemingly never ending battle."

"Most of the missions you'll take as a jounin will be in the position of leaders," Shikaku took over, "but quite a few of them are solo missions. You need to be able to handle a fight against however many enemies by yourself without the safety blanket of a team."

When Ibiki got to her, Sakura shook her head at him. She didn't want the antidote.

First, because she was already beginning to gain control over her limbs again and the pain was almost gone. Second, because she could only imagine how it would look to the other 'jounin wannabes'.

They had felt the same excruciating pain as her and the overwhelming relief from the antidote. They had no way of knowing she had taken care of the poison with her medical ninjutsu and would only think that she could stand that pain with no counter medication.

The exams weren't over and she still had something to prove.

"Don't be stupid, Pinky." Ibiki frowned at her and she could see people were turning to see her argue with him. "You'll need your strength for the next phase."

Sakura looked him right in the eyes and pushed herself off the ground. She stood on shaky legs but her posture was straight and sure.

"Pass."

Ibiki narrowed his eyes at her and scoffed but didn't force the issue. She saw the approval in his eyes and that was enough for her.

Inoichi-ojisan explained the second part of the test.

They were going to be randomly put into two groups of three and each group would get a scroll with a profile report on a fake ninja. They were to set up base at northern gate one while the other group's base would be at southern gate twenty-three. They had ten minutes to get there and create a plan. Whoever got the other team's profile report first, won.

"Protect the information at all costs," Ibiki said.

Sakura had to fight the urge to sigh in relief when she was sorted into Neji's team. Thank _fuck _she wouldn't have to fight him again. The guy was annoying.

Mozuku, a guy that she vaguely remembered seeing during the first phase of her Chunin Exams, was also on their team. He'd been a proctor from Torture and Interrogations and Sakura was sure he'd managed to be appointed because of Ibiki. He had no last name and so she figured he was an orphan like Tenten.

His sharp jawline and dark rimmed glasses were charming in a way and he looked to be in his early twenties. Sakura thought that he didn't look like much, but he had held his own during their litlle battle royale so she would give him the benefit of the doubt.

On the other team was the guy with the nifty fire ninjutsu, the sharp look in his eyes matching his chakra nature; the guy whose katana had cut into her sleeve and the Inuzuka with his bear looking dog.

Sakura scowled. They were already at a disadvantage regarding manpower.

No matter, they would make up for it with their brains. She knew she was intelligent, it was one of her biggest strengths and source of pride. Neji had been called a genius more than once and she knew he was very capable. Now Mozuku… Mozuku was the epitome of what TI had to offer.

He kept everything about him simple and unassuming but Sakura could read the strength behind his posture and frame. His glasses, which she distantly wondered if they were even a real necessity, made it difficult to read him but when he changed the angle of his head Sakura could see what the reflection in them hid.

His dark eyes were calculating.

She would bet all her money that Mozuku had made it to the Jounin Exams on sheer _planning _on his part. He looked like a guy who had worked hard to get to where he was.

Their eyes locked for a second and she nodded at him. He would do.

When the proctors gave the signal, the three of them leaped towards the nearest tree in unison. Sakura waited until they couldn't be heard before she began to lay out her plan. She had just opened her mouth to begin speaking when Mozuku cut in.

"The other team is clearly melee oriented," he said.

Sakura grinned at him. She had been about to say that.

"Yes. It's safe to assume they will take the offensive approach to this." She turned her head slightly to look at Neji. "Maybe it will be best to see if we're not being followed already."

Neji activated his Byakugan and shook his head.

"They're heading south," he said.

"How are you on chakra?" Sakura asked. "Can you keep monitoring their moves until we reach our base?"

"My chakra reserves are at about seventy percent, I should have no problems with the byakugan." There was a frown on his face, emphasized by the enlarged veins around his eyes. "However, my reach doesn't go that far."

Sakura fought a tiny grin. She wondered how much admitting that must have hurt. The silence that followed made her wonder if he just wouldn't say what his reach was at all and she was almost ready to reprimand him from keeping vital information from their teammates when he spoke again.

"998m."

Mozuku gave an impressed whistle but Sakura wasn't satisfied. The Forest of Death had a radius of 5km, that meant that from their base to their enemies' were 10km. If they were dealing with a melee team, the best strategy was to wait for them to come to them, control the environment to their advantage and hopefully overwhelm them with the element of surprise.

Sakura came up with a half-formed plan and gave the scroll to Mozuku.

"Read it, memorise it, pass it to Hyuga," she ordered.

They had already taken three minutes. She had four minutes more.

"We'll set up traps around our base's perimeter. Nine-hundred and ninety-eight metres out. That way Hyuuga can keep his Byakugan turned off and conserve chakra. When the traps activate, you turn it on." Sakura moved around a branch that looked too fragile to hold her weight before she fell back into step with them. "I have thirty exploding tags, five pepper bombs and eight meters of ninja wire. Do you have anything else that will help with the traps?"

Mozuku gave the scroll to Neji and turned to gape at Sakura.

"Who walks around the village with _thirty _fucking exploding tags?" He shook his head. "How could you have guessed that you'd need to set up traps like that?"

Sakura huffed a laugh.

"Being Tsunade's apprentice taught me to expect the unexpected at all times." She shot an amused look at him but then raised an eyebrow so he'd focus again.

He cleared his throat and pushed his glasses up on his nose.

"I have enough that we can combine and set up some A-ranked traps." Sakura snapped her head around to stare at him. Even with her favour of traps, she couldn't safely say that hers were A-ranked. Mozuku shrugged. "I specialize in traps."

Huh. They were really fucking lucky.

"Alright, are you done, Neji?" Sakura turned to look at him and he gave her the scroll with a nodd.

Sakura raised her hand in the air with the sign for stop. Only when the two of them continued to jump to the next branch did she realise she had used the _ANBU sign _for stopping. She blushed at her flunder and called out to them.

The two men turned around but she paid them no mind. With a quick scan of the profile inside the scroll, Inner memorised the words and Sakura set it on fire.

The small katon used a lot more chakra than if she was using her natural affinities but it was a nice trick she had learned during ANBU to always have fire at her fingertips.

Mozuku gasped.

"What the _fuck _are you doing, Haruno?" Neji was in her branch in the next second, a mighty scowl on his face.

"You're TI, right Mozuku?" Sakura ignored the white eyed boy to her left and looked at their other teammate. "Didn't you pay attention to what Ibiki said?"

_Protect the information at all costs._

Not protect the scroll. Now the only way for the other team to get their profile report was to torture it out of them. Sakura watched as Mozuku came to the same conclusion as her and Neji's scowls lessened.

"Don't waste anymore time," she said harshly to Neji before continuing towards their base.

When they reached roughly the one kilometre mark, Mozuku started instructing them on how to make the traps more effective. They wasted seven minutes getting there and would only have three minutes before the beginning of the second phase but it was enough.

"That fire type was favouring his left side," Neji said when they were almost at the gate. The traps were properly set and now all they had to do was wait. "I think he broke his foot."

Sakura nodded at him and leaned against a tree when they came to a stop, the gate at their backs.

"From the looks of it, it was a grade 2 sprain on his ankle." Sakura took a scroll from her flak jacket and unsealed it, taking out some ration bars to distribute to the guys before sealing the rest of it back up. "Nothing major, but I think it's safe to say he's the one who stayed back."

Mozuku thanked her and immediately started munching on it while Neji hesitated for half a second before primly nibbling the dry stick like it was a fancy scone.

Sakura raised an amused eyebrow at him. He could be just as pretentious as Sasuke and _that _was saying something.

Sakura prepared for the customary pang to her chest that came whenever the boy crossed her thoughts but was surprised to realise it was barely there. She had come to accept that he had made his choice and all she could do now was get strong enough to kick his ass all the way back into Konoha. There was no use in wallowing in her sadness for him.

An explosion came from straight ahead.

"You were correct," Neji said, his white eyes pumped full of chakra. "The fire type is not here. The other three are."

Sakura cracked her knuckles and pushed away from the tree.

"I'll take Inuzuka and his bear," she said. "I have a special treat for them."

Mozuku snorted a laugh and stretched his arms above him.

"Well, I'll tag along if you don't mind," he said.

"Will you handle the katana guy okay?" Sakura asked Neji, partly because she needed to know and partly to annoy him.

He gave a tiny scoff.

"Please."

"Alright, we'll meet up at the tower."

The fight went relatively fast. Sakura dropped the pepper bombs as soon as they came into view and both Inuzuka got disoriented enough that they were no match for Mozuku and her working together.

Still, the man was strong enough to hold his own quite well. Sakura figured seeing his loyal companion temporarily blinded and hanging from one of their traps had set him off because the Inuzuka had fought them bravely. She left with three horizontal scratches on her right cheek.

She was more worried about Neji. He would have to fight Katana Guy on his own and she could only hope the man didn't have anything up his sleeves. She briefly considered circling back to assist him if he needed, but in the end decided against it.

"Shouldn't we go look for him?" Mozuku changed his weight from foot to foot in the shade one of the tower's marquee gave.

Sakura had sat down, crossed her legs and closed her eyes in concentration.

"Neji is a very capable ninja," she said calmly. "You have to trust your teammates."

She would give the pretentious genius ten minutes before she went looking for him.

"You seem familiar." And it looked like Mozuku was one of those guys that liked to _talk _to pass the time. Sakura fought a sigh. Okay, she'd humour him.

"You were one of the proctors for my Chunin Exams." Sakura counted the minutes inside her head. Eight more minutes. She kept her eyes closed and chakra aware of her surroundings.

It was a few seconds before Mozuku replied.

"Holy shit, I remember you!" He exclaimed. "I was tasked to watch over your row. You didn't cheat a single time and got all the answers correct."

Sakura heard him huff a laugh and she hummed in response, neither confirming nor denying.

"You were one of the rookies. Really impressive of you to know those questions, you know, they were jounin level problems," he continued.

"I'm sure there were plenty of people who knew those questions." She shrugged.

"Yeah, a few of them maybe, but you got everything correct like you had a textbook with you to look at the answers." There was an admiring quality to his voice that Sakura didn't quite know how to feel about. It was flattering, that's for sure, but she kinda felt like it wasn't warranted.

"Good memory," she said simply.

"No shit." He snorted. "Wait, just how old are you again?"

Sakura rolled her eyes behind her lids. She really wished he'd been the silent type.

"Fifteen."

"Holy fucking shit." Sakura was sure he was gaping without having to open her eyes. "You gotta be the youngest here."

"Neji's sixteen," she said curtly. She really hoped he would take the hint and just _shut up _for a bit. It worked for about two minutes.

"What are you doing?"

He'd got to be kidding. Sakura opened one eye to look at him and concluded he was trying to get a rise out of her. This oblivious facade was just that, and it kinda reminded her a bit of Anko, to be honest. That would make sense, he probably studied under her in TI.

"I'm meditating." She took a deep breath to calm herself down.

"_Now?_" He asked incredulously and Sakura smirked.

"Meditation helps you control your chakra," she began her impromptu lecture. His voice had gotten too annoying for her liking, it reminded her a bit of Naruto and _that_ really sent a pang through her heart. She missed the idiot. "When you do it enough, you can kind of tune in with the chakra wavelengths of everything around you and when you do that, you can easily get a better understanding of your surroundings."

"That sounds like what a sensory type does," he interrupted her and she immediately scowled.

Sakura opened her eyes with a sigh and got up. The scowl between her brows deepened as she saw the amused expression on his face. She took half a step towards him, barely perceptible, but it was enough for him to freeze. It seemed he still remembered how her killing intent had felt.

"It is." Her voice was calmer than before but she saw him gulp all the same. "They do this almost instinctively. Doesn't mean you can't do it too if you have good chakra control and work hard enough. Maybe you'll never be as refined as a good sensor type but it gets the job done. Just like everyone can learn any type of jutsu even if they don't have the affinity-"

Sakura stopped mid sentence and turned towards the tree line. Her hand inched towards the tantou on her back, her posture not exactly stiff but _ready. _A few seconds later Neji jumped down from a tree branch.

She dropped her hands and didn't spare a single glance towards Mozuku before meeting Neji halfway.

He was bleeding heavily from a cut to his arm, his kimono's right sleeve tattered. All in all, he seemed tired but okay.

Sakura moved her left hand towards his wound, her palm glowing soft green, while the other held fast to his wrist so he wouldn't run away.

"I don't need you to heal me." Neji frowned at her when he couldn't get out of her grip.

"This will only take a second," Sakura replied. "This phase isn't finished yet, you need to be able to fight."

"The next phase could be me against you, Sakura." Neji wasn't trying to leave anymore but his posture was still stiff. She didn't quite know the feeling that passed through her when he spoke her name. It felt weird, having his pale eyes on her. Mozuku watched her hands interessedly.

"Hmm," the older boy hummed. "That is true, Sakura-san."

"With a wound like this you could pass out before we even reach the other side of the training grounds." Sakura narrowed her eyes at them both, her chin set. "If this was a mission, I wouldn't go further without healing my teammate so that's what I'm gonna do."

Both boys shut up.

Sakura nodded when she was done and Neji ripped the sleeve completely off before they set off towards southern gate twenty-three. They didn't rush there to conserve their energy but also didn't dally. The sun had begun to set and neither of them wanted to drag this on for longer than necessary.

Being in the forest at night wasn't something she wanted to go through again.

The last guy, fire type with fire in his eyes, was a surprisingly tough opponent considering he was heavily outmatched. If this was a real mission, she would have run a fist through his chest without hesitation and be done with it in the next second but this wasn't a mission.

So Sakura made a mental tally on everything she had shown the proctors so far and, in the end, decided to trap him in her nastiest genjutsu. It was one she did without hand signs or spoken words and she could practically _feel _her teammates eyes on her when she told them to go look for the scroll while Fire Eyes suddenly dropped to the forest floor screaming.

Ibiki was the only one to appear in a cloud of smoke.

"Congratulations," he said dryly. "You passed the second test."

"Hi, Ibiki-senpai," Mozuku said with a tired smile and a lazy wave of his hand.

"Idiot," Ibiki growled at him. "You should've been the first one to think of destroying the scroll." He threw a tiny one at his head and two more towards Sakura and Neji. "You did good on that one, Haruno."

Sakura acknowledged his compliment-which she figured didn't come easily by Mozuku's face-with a nod and looked at the scroll on her hands. If she had to guess, she'd say it was a teletransportation scroll.

"Well, this last part will be thoroughly less enjoyable…" Ibiki narrowed his eyes at each of them. "For you."

Sakura wanted to find his ominous voice amusing but found herself shuddering instead. His dark eyes were like bottomless pits and she feared if she stared long enough at him, something dark and heavy would reach out to her.

She averted her eyes and waited for his command to open the scroll. With a last glance towards the boys and a quick, "good luck," uttered for them, she was gone.

The room she was in wasn't one she recognised. For a second she thought she'd been transported towards an interrogation cell in TI but she knew for a fact that those were underground. She could see the full moon beginning to rise from the only window.

Suddenly, chakra cuffs were closed around her wrists.

Sakura snarled at the man that appeared in front of her and made to attack him but heavy arms held her down until she was strapped into a chair by her hands and feet.

She had put up a hell of a fight, but in the end, her chakra had been deemed worthless and even though she was _fit_ she was no match for six shinobi without it.

They all filtered out of the room and the only one who remained was the first who had put the cuffs on her.

"Ah, I'm terribly sorry about all this." He did a little bow. "From now on, it's best if we keep things clear, don't you think?"

Sakura frowned at him and waited for him to continue. She was sure she knew what would happen, but was finding it a bit incredulous.

"We're gonna do some role playing, Haruno-san." The man smiled at her, his light brown hair falling on his dark eyes. "I'll play enemy ninja and you'll play loyal kunoichi from Konoha."

This was really happening. What the fuck. Sakura kind of wanted to kick Tsunade for even considering this a suitable part of the exams.

"Now, you're going to tell me _exactly _what was in that profile report," the man looked her right in the eyes and leaned forward, "or I'll start cutting."

Sakura could feel the chakra washing over her, entering her pathways and disturbing her flow. The genjutsu made everything seem bleeker, the moon outside suddenly gone, making her chest constrict. Sakura bared her teeth.

She knew what the genjutsu was doing to her, she could feel the effects on her body and she knew that whatever happened inside it wasn't real but she _couldn't get out of it._ The chakra cuffs prevented her from doing anything. She felt helpless and _weak_ in a way she had promised herself never to be again.

It was maddening.

Inside the genjutsu, Sakura spent seven long hours being tortured. She didn't give him anything, staying quiet for the first five hours. Then, she started playing with her fake captor, her irritation at him and the situation showing through her manipulations. She cried, begging out by telling fake chopped out information between sobs. She could see it gave him pause but soon he was laughing and commending her on her acting skills.

During the last hour she dropped her act and headbutted him when he got close enough.

The genjutsu wasn't really as sturdy as she figured it was supposed to be. With an inner repeat of _kai, kai, kai, _inside her head and the constant way she kept trying to disturb her chakra, things seemed glitchy.

_Look underneath the underneath. _And she did.

She sometimes could see the moon outside, noting that barely any time had passed. The chair beneath her wasn't filled with sweat and blood from time to time and even his face looked different, less scary.

The genjutsu was lifted off her suddenly and without warning, leaving her out of breath. Sweat dripped inside her eyes and her scar _itched._

"That was very impressive!" The man raised his eyebrows at her in mock surprise. "I'll see you soon!"

And with a careless wave, he left through the door on her back. A blond man took his place. He wore the uniform for TI and his pupilless eyes stared into her soul.

"What the fuck," Sakura panted. "This is insane! The enemy wouldn't have a Yamanaka to take the information from me!"

The man blinked at her complaint and scratched the back of his ponytail.

"You successfully kept the information from 'the enemy', Haruno-san." He tried to look reassuring but Sakura knew the kind of invasion to her privacy was about to happen. "This is the final part of this test. I promise you it won't hurt."

Of course she knew it wasn't gonna hurt.

If she was correct, though, he was about to Mind Walk inside her head and he would see _Inner. She_ wasn't really sure what Inner even was, she didn't want a stranger-much less a stranger that was probably going to put what he found out in an official report-messing around inside her head.

She had wondered about Inner over the years. In the beginning she had guessed that it had been a coping mechanism she had found as a child to come to terms with the fact that she had two very different personalities inside her head.

One that obeyed her mother and father, wore pretty dresses and smiled politely, if not shyly, at everyone. The other was a fierce girl who had chosen to be a ninja and stood up for herself.

When she was younger, she could see Inner as a chalky outline of herself inside her head that sometimes worked completely by herself. As she grew older, that outline disappeared as she managed to grow into herself, find out who she really was. She didn't have separate personalities nowadays, it was all facets that made her who she was.

But still, she had learned that her mind was very much more pliable than she had ever thought before. She used "Inner" to represent her ability to mold parts of her mind. She could control the things going on inside her head, bringing specific feelings to the surface while burying others deep inside of her.

Her eidetic memory helped her in that and in a sense, Inner was simply _her._

Sakura still didn't want a Yamanaka inside her head. Specially with all the dangerous things she had lying around.

The process of another person breaching her senses was more disturbing than she remembered it being. Maybe because she was expecting it now and could pay better attention to it.

She didn't have enough time to come up with a strategy to keep the things she wanted to keep unseen locked away. All she managed was to use Inner to cloak everything and then he was inside her.

"Heh, that sounded weird."

Sakura had thought that but she could hear the sentence spoken… by herself.

It was her voice, for sure, only it was distorted. Scratchy and somehow both deeper and higher at once. But it was definitely her.

"What the fuck."

_That, _however, wasn't her.

Sakura couldn't see anything. For a second she thought she'd gone blind but then she realised it wasn't that she couldn't see but that there was only darkness to see. Very small, if she looked in the general direction of _down, _was the Yamanaka.

He was looking around at the darkness surrounding him and that's when she realised that it was her. Sakura was the darkness.

She didn't know why her thoughts weren't being spoken out loud, only that it maybe had to do with the fact that they weren't exactly _sentences_, but more like half-formed images and sounds and _thoughts_ all combined.

The Yamana looked up.

"What the fuck is this?"

Sakura laughed and the sound echoed around them. With conscious effort, she thought the words she wanted him to hear out loud.

"You're inside my head, Yamanaka-san." No matter how freaked out she was, she wouldn't waste this opportunity to mess with this guy who had uninvitedly broken inside her mind. "What exactly do you want to see?"

He continued to look around, his face the picture of incredulity. She had to give it to him though, he only took a few seconds more to recompose himself.

"This is mandatory for every jounin," he explained slowly. "We have to check if you haven't been compromised before giving you all the clearance the elite has."

Sakura felt angry. She felt like she could just get up and go pinch the elders' heads and squeeze until it went _pop. _From the way the Yamanaka shivered, she figured he could feel it.

Sakura took a deep breath, and that was so weird because she technically didn't have a body to do it, but it calmed her down all the same.

Her mind was going overtime trying to think of her next move. She couldn't exactly block him out completely otherwise he wouldn't pass her and _fuck _she really wanted to make jounin. Not to mention he would be extremely suspicious of her and she just _knew _Danzou was involved in this.

This type of disregard for the personal lives of the shinobi in the village had his dirty little paws all over it.

She'd have to hide it. Tuck away the information against a little corner somewhere he'd never think to look twice. She didn't even know if she could actually do it but she'd have to try.

Sakura took the darkness away, slowly giving him access to her childhood memories first.

Where to hide it, where to hide it?

He was already reaching her genin graduation. She had to hurry.

It needed to be somewhere dark. Somewhere he wouldn't notice the heavy feelings around the memories because he would assume it was from what he was seeing. Somewhere like…

Sakura stepped into the Forest of Death once again. This time, she was in her thirteen year old body, Sasuke and Naruto to her sides and… Orochimaru staring them down.

This was a memory that made up most of her nightmares. It had always been a moment where she thought she had failed them, her teammates. With Orochimaru staring at her like that, she had never felt so fucking _weak _before, not even when they had faced Zabuza at the bridge.

Sakura fought the shaking of her tiny legs-so fucking tiny, she didn't remember being this small-and jumped towards the snake sannin. With quick fingers, she shoved the handful of darkness suddenly trapped between her fingers right into his pouch.

This memory, once something that had held her captive many nights, keeping her awake with nightmares, would be her savior today.

Yamanaka peeked from around a tree.

She was _strong_. Blood and sweat permeated every single nook and cranny inside her mind, her hard work had gotten her to a point where she could actually do this-whatever the fuck this even _was-_and it had taken a lot of sacrifice on her part to get here.

But she made it.

And she would fucking make it to jounin.

The blond haired man sped through many of her memories. Some of them, she fought the urge to push him out of-Sasuke leaving her on the cold bench, Shinsei pressing her against the onsen wall, Ino falling to the forest floor, Kakashi breaking down, the blood that felt sticky to the touch during her ANBU missions-but she held fast.

She let this _intruder _inside her head and waited with baited breath for him to get the fuck out. The memories stayed hidden.

She felt lightheaded. The moon was a bit higher in the sky but not by much. Probably a couple of hours since the sun had set. There was sweat on her forehead. It slid slowly down her temples and neck and she counted to five before she felt the chakra cuffs being removed from her.

"I'll take you to the arena now, Haruno-san."

Sakura stared at him.

No. No fucking way would they put them to _fight _right now.

Suddenly, she came back to herself. She was so angry and so fucking _ready _to punch the next person who threw something like this at her again that maybe a fight wasn't that bad.

She shouldered past him with her teeth bared, killing intent slowly leaking out of her. They made it to the arena where Tsunade, Shikaku, Ibiki and Inoichi stood at the podium, Mozuku in front of them.

Sakura took her place next to him while the Yamanaka joined the jounin and tokujo standing on the mezzanine.

Mozuku took a discrete step away from her and she cut her narrowed gaze towards him. He had his eyebrows furrowed and sweat on his face. Sakura tsked and put a lid on her killing intent.

Neji joined them in the next minute and Shikaku took a step forward.

"The three phases of the exam are over," he spoke loud and clear. "Now, we'll discuss your performance and each jounin of the village will take a vote. If the majority agree, you'll be promoted."

Sakura felt some of the anger she had been feeling leave her body. While the people on the stands spoke about Mozuku's abilities and then Neji's, Sakura felt the exhaustion from the day settling over her.

"Haruno Sakura," Shikaku called.

She snapped her gaze to his, her muscles locked tight to keep her from shaking. She was so tired of this already. While the nervous energy of being minutes away from a promotion kept her alert she was overcome with the sudden need to just lay down and _take a nap._

"Impeccable work," a woman called from the stands. Sakura couldn't see who she was but she had heard her voice around headquarters before.

"She needs to work on her ninjutsu," a man said, which, okay. She'd give him that. Ninjutsu had never been her forte and she wasn't in any hurry to increase her control over her chakra nature since she had a vast repertoire of skills to fall back to when needed.

Someone defended her, saying exactly that and she turned to see that it had been Raido.

"She's not a team player, is she? That could be troublesome in the future." It was a man who spoke and he was standing right to her left. He was a jounin sensei, she knew, but not of anyone she knew. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"You've got to be kidding me." It was Genma who spoke up, his scoff loud and disrespectful. "Haruno would die before letting anything happen to her teammates. She fits well in any team she's assigned."

Sakura couldn't see him without turning but she let a smile reach her lips all the same. His voice was carefully nonchalant, almost bored but she appreciated his effort all the same.

"Shiranui is right." She recognised the voice once again but had never seen the face of the man who spoke up. "This isn't about her not being a team player, it's because she's highly effective in her decision making. This can come across as rash but the truth is every second counts in the field. This is a characteristic every ANBU operative has."

"She's from ANBU?" Someone said, surprised.

"Has been there for almost a year now," Genma answered. She couldn't place his tone of voice, couldn't figure out if that was a good thing or not in this situation.

"Alright." Shikaku raised his voice over the chattering shinobi. "Let's call a vote now."

"Mozuku," Shikaku said. "All those in favour raise your hands."

Mozuku passed.

"Hyuga Neji."

Just a few hands weren't raised.

"Haruno Sakura."

There wasn't a single hand left unraised.

Sakura didn't know the kind of relief that washed over her was possible. It rushed through her veins and scrambled her brain for a bit, leaving her kind of dizzy in its aftermath. Blood rushed inside her ears for half a second before she felt Mozuku lightly punching her shoulder.

"I'm really glad I didn't have to fight you," he said with an awkward laugh.

"Congratulations," Sakura laughed. She turned to extend the same sentiment towards Neji but her view was blocked by the thick green _wall _that was Gai. For a second, she feared Neji wasn't even breathing in his embrace.

Anko touched down next, immediately putting both her hands to Mozuku's head and ruffling his head rather roughly. Sakura laughed at the blush on his cheeks.

Then she was being pulled into a tight hug, Genma's strong arms around her like vices.

"You'll break me, jiji," she laughed, "fuck off."

"I knew you would make it," he said.

"Then why are you trying to squeeze the shit out of me?" She joked.

He called her a brat and hugged her tighter and she didn't mind at all. A lot of people came to congratulate her and she smiled at them all. Most of them she knew were from ANBU but others like the people who recommended her, Asuma and Gai still made sure to speak to her.

Gai was loudly speaking to both her and Neji-more like yelling at their general direction-and he happily announced a night out the following Friday to celebrate their promotion. Even Mozuku was invited. Sakura was actually glad for it, this way she wouldn't need to do any work.

Sakura made her way towards her shishou.

Most of the people had already left and she just wanted to go home.

"Shishou," she murmured as she approached the woman.

Tsunade nodded at her. She knew exactly what she needed. With quick goodbyes to everyone else, the two women made their way towards the Senju Estate.

The night was cool and she was already shivering by the time they got home. The lack of food had gotten to her and while her chakra reserves weren't dangerously low, they were greatly diminished by the exams.

Sakura made to reach for the fridge but Tsunade slapped her hand away and pushed her into a chair before going about heating up their leftovers.

"What happened today was _sick._" Sakura didn't waste any time. "I'm guessing Danzou suggested the whole let's-torture-our-elite-to-know-they-can-be-trusted _shitshow._"

"During the Sandaime's first go at the job, yes." Tsunade sighed.

"And what if I hadn't managed to hide what I needed to from the Yamanaka?" Sakura challenged because, fuck, if she hadn't totally winged it and _succeeded_… She didn't even want to think about it.

"This is one of the reasons I didn't immediately shut down the third phase," Tsunade said. She sat the food in front of Sakura and took her place at the head of the table as Sakura scarfed it all down. "Shikaku and I both thought it would do well to lose this battle for now so we can win the war in the long run."

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked around a mouthful of rice.

"If you hadn't managed to hide everything from Yamanaka Fu, we would probably be okay because we'd just have Inoichi order him to keep it to himself." Tsunade steepled her fingers in front of her.

"You're moving things along." Sakura blinked at her.

"Yes," Tsunade said simply.

Sakura sighed and worried her forehead with her fingertips.

"So Inoichi-ojisan is next, then," she said.

It made sense. First, they knew for absolute certainty that he was on their side and he worked well with Shikaku, to put it mildly. Then there was the fact that both the Yamanaka clan and the Nara clan had been affected by Danzou before. Both clans had reports of missing children and having them on their side would be good for their mission.

"Next month, we'll announce it." Tsunade grinned at her and her eyes seemed to soften for a second. "I'm so proud of you."

Sakura stared wide eyed at her shishou. It's not like she didn't think she would be proud of her, she'd always known she was, having long ago learned how to read the woman. But the simple fact that she had actually said it out loud…

Sakura didn't fight the tears that sprang to her eyes.

"Fuck," she choked on her exhale and now it was Tsunade's turn to look surprised. "If you think that will get you off the hook for springing this on me you're absolutely wrong, Shishou!"

She brushed her tears away with her forearm and looked back at the blonde to see she was eyeing her with a soft expression on her face.

"I'm sorry I couldn't give you a heads up, Sakura." Her voice was as soft as her face and Sakura actually _sobbed_.

"I don't even know why I'm crying!" She exclaimed, wide eyes spilling tears on her cheeks as she choked down a few more bites of her dinner. "I think I may be pms-ing. Shishou, stop looking at me!"

Tsunade got up and rummaged around the kitchen cabinets for a few moments while Sakura began to wonder if there was something wrong with her tear ducts. They just wouldn't _stop_ leaking.

Her shishou smacked a bottle of sake and a couple of cups in front of her before sitting down. The good stuff.

"Here," she poured for Sakura, letting the first cup overflow, "this is what you need."

Sakura hiccuped into her food before pushing it away to grab the small cup. She took a tiny sip, her tears still falling but the taste of alcohol on her tongue calmed her down a bit.

"I'll draw you a bath and give you a chakra massage today." Tsunade nodded almost to herself before downing her whole cup in one go. "Drink your sake, Sakura."

"You're the best, Shishou," Sakura whispered into her cup, eyes closing as she savoured the taste of the fine sake.

She was safe beside her shishou and she'd made it.

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_I figured Sakura was well due a good cry, don't you?_

_This chapter (and the last) was really hard for me but I gotta admit the thing that was the hardest was that scene with Inner Sakura (btw Uchi Naru Sakura means Inner Sakura). It wasn't even supposed to be addressed in this fic at all, but the scene just wrote itself and I spent quite some time agonising over it later -.-'_

_In the end, though, I stand by what I wrote and I ended up liking it a lot. I hope you do too. Also, I have some more theories on this but since I haven't decided if I'm gonna address it later on or not, I'll keep quiet for now hihi Sorry for the suspense, but do let me know what your personal hc are regarding Inner Sakura!_

_You guys, next chapter it's going to be... I don't even have words for it. I'm really excited to show it to you, I think I've been desperate for this more than you._

_Anyway! We're closing a cycle with this chapter, Sakura is finally a jounin and quite some things are gonna change for her in the near future. I'm excited hehe. Also, some time jumps will come pretty soon, be prepared for it._

_Thanks for reading! I hope you all have a great weekend! Much love to everyone who reviewed last chapter, I didn't get a chance to reply because I was rushing to finish this but I hope you know that every single one of them got the biggest, goofiest smile on my face. Please keep them coming!_


	23. Back Home

_It's currently three in the morning._

_Here, have a chapter :)_

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Two minutes until they reached the eastern barrier.

The moon had already reached its apex a couple of hours ago and the only reason they kept running through the night was because they knew these woods like the back of their hands. The mission had been _exhausting _and they were all ready to get back home as soon as possible.

Kakashi sighed in relief when he disarmed the coded seals of the barrier.

Tenzo, Yugao and Keiichi stepped through the opening behind him and they each saluted the sentinels on duty. He could probably find his way towards headquarters with his eyes closed from there and had to restrain himself from actually doing so.

"So," he stretched his arms above his head and cracked his stiff neck, "Rusty Kunai?"

"I'm beat, I think I'll head straight home, Taichou." Keiichi gave them a wave and waited for Kakashi to give him a nod before shunshining towards the Hyuga compound.

"Anything but that karaoke bar, please." Yugao huffed a laugh and waved hello to some operatives they passed by. Kakashi watched as they looked at him in awe and had to fight a scowl. "I don't think I can take anymore of Tenzo's singing."

"Rude…" Tenzo muttered with narrowed eyes.

They went immediately towards the changing room and when they took off their masks, Kakashi could see that his cheeks were flushed. He chuckled.

"Maa maa, no teasing my kouhai, Kouhai-_chan_."

This made both their faces redden like he knew it would and Yugao _squeaked. _Kakashi chuckled again as they divested themselves of their clothes, they were so easy to tease.

When he was younger, their hero worship of him was something that always made his head bigger than it had any right being even if sometimes he found it annoying. As they grew up—fought together, bled together, _lost_ together—that hero worship had morphed into deeper respect and camaraderie. Still, years after and it was just as easy to get them flustered like this.

The three of them made their way to the showers, Kakashi in the middle with Yugao to his left and Tenzo to his right. It wasn't anything close to erotic or even something to be embarrassed about. There was no space for such things in ANBU.

When he was younger, Yugao had often graced his bed but it had been years since she had fallen for Hayate and there hadn't been a fallout between them of any kind. She was his teammate, he would die for her and she would die for him. The sex had been purely a way to release stress after missions and as easy as it had been to take that extra step it'd been easy to take that step back.

Seeing their teammates naked wasn't exactly anything new or exciting and it was good to use this time to unwind. They joked about him needing to be rescued from a solo mission as the steam rose around them and Kakashi found himself relaxing.

Yugao and Tenzo finished first and left for the changing rooms but Kakashi stayed behind. The hot water felt amazing on his stiff and overused muscles. He closed his eyes, braced his arms against the wall and let his head fall between them.

He missed home.

Usually when a shinobi went away for longer than a month they had mandatory leave for at least a week unless an emergency came up. Ever since the Konoha Crush he couldn't remember being in the village for longer than two or three days at a time. As soon as he touched ground and managed to throw out the contents of his fridge and buy new ones, he had to leave again. An urgent mission needed his skill set or his expertise or maybe he was needed to boost morale.

Kakashi sighed and turned the water off.

He wouldn't complain. If what his village needed was for him to go out on a string of seemingly never ending missions, it's what he would do. If he died along the way then that was fine, it was a shinobi's death, a worthy one. He would do what was needed of him.

Kakashi grabbed a towel and dried himself up as the steam in the room began to clear out. He frowned at his hands wrapping the towel around his waist.

That had been what he'd always thought ever since his father killed himself. The way for a shinobi to go wasn't with his own weapon. It was on the battlefield, fighting and protecting his village.

The same drive that he had a few years before to always go above and beyond during missions was still there but now… Now, he didn't feel like he was as okay with the thought of dying as he had been before.

There were still some things he had to do before he could go. He had to see Naruto return, had to make sure he could make up for the terrible upbringing his sensei's son had. He had to take care of Sasuke—whether that meant getting him back to Konoha or not. He had to win another challenge with Gai and make sure the village was safe after the hit they took.

_He missed Konoha._

Kakashi shook the troubling thoughts from his head and moved to the changing room. Yugao and Tenzo were already wearing their jounin uniforms and were both talking to the ANBU Commander.

The man's lazy brown eyes met his and a cheery smile spread across his face.

"Late as always, huh?" He shook his head with a laugh and turned back towards the rest of Kakashi's team. "You guys can go on ahead, I'll give you a few days to write the report so you can relax for the rest of the night."

The pair turned towards Kakashi and he dismissed them with a cheery smile of his own, saying he would catch up in a minute. The flush on both their cheeks was as cute as always, they had never quite gotten used to his bare face.

Usui sighed.

"You know, I really didn't expect you to have any problems with that mission." His face was uncharacteristically serious as he looked at Kakashi and he fought the urge to fidget. "If I had even the slightest idea that you would need backup I would have stationed a team nearby."

Kakashi looked at Usui. He could see that the look on his face hid just how worried he'd been. He knew this man better than probably anyone else in the village even if he made it a point to always call him by his last name.

When the last person in the village that he had any emotional connection died, Kakashi had been lost, his grief all consuming. Usui Toshio had taken him under his wing when his sensei died, he'd taught him how to hide his feelings behind a cheery mask, taught him the way of ANBU.

_A blank face reveals too much, Kashi-kun, it's always better to hide behind a smile._

At first, he'd been resentful, refusing to create another bond with an authoritative figure because all of those had _left him._ When the Commander had said that he could call him by his name, Kakashi in all his teenage angst had refused to call him anything but his family name. It was stupid and childish but it stuck.

After the Kyuubi attack, Usui had been the one to help him find an apartment, the one to take him out of his father's mausoleum of a house. He had been a guide to many of the orphans from that time. Kakashi, Genma and many other lost kids that had found themselves falling into ANBU.

Usui had been the one to make sure he'd gotten all the best missions, the one to make sure he grew up right. Or as right as someone in the shadow ranks could. Kakashi had shaped his very personality around the teachings of this man.

Smile to hide how dead his eyes looked. Be aloof and cool so that people would never realise that he dissociated on a frequent basis. Pull out a smutty book so people would think he was eccentric and not notice that he hadn't slept for the past two days because of his nightmares.

Kakashi would have been long dead if it wasn't for Usui Toshio. He still wasn't used to seeing the man demonstrate any kind of concern towards him.

"Ah." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly and raised a shoulder in a half-shrug. "I think it was an oversight on both our parts. Don't worry about it, my old team took care of me just fine."

Usui frowned slightly when Kakashi moved past him to reach his locker but he pretended he didn't see it. He started pulling on his jounin uniform.

"Speaking of, it seems like Team Ro was a member short." Kakashi chanced a look at Usui while he's fastening his pants. The man had sat down on the single bench that ran between the lockers and was lazily sprawled along the length of it. It looked like he was going to wait for Kakashi.

"Ah, yeah. Actually, Keiichi is not a member of Team Ro," Usui explained. "I put Genma on the team when you left to play pretend dad with a bunch of genin but he asked for the week off because of the Jounin Exams."

Kakashi scoffed. Pretend dad. He wasn't old enough to be their dad and their relationship had never been like that. Gai and Kurenai easily fell into the role of almost parent-like figure to their students. Asuma could maybe have passed off as a fun uncle but Kakashi had always figured his relationship with Team 7 was that of an absentee older brother at best.

"I didn't _leave, _I was forcibly retired from the forces." Kakashi rolled his eye at his mentor while he tied his hitai-ate. He leaned back against the locker and faced Usui. "That still leaves Team Ro short a member."

"There's a newbie." Usui looked at him with a slight grin and a particular glint to his eyes that Kakashi had no idea what to make of.

"A newbie?" From what he gathered, only three new operatives passed the ANBU exams last year, two of which he had worked with already and one that had only been stationed inside the village so far.

"Yep." Usui shrugged and Kakashi crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Only fifteen years old and already a medic nin."

"A recruit then." The minimum age for anyone taking the ANBU entrance exams was sixteen, anyone younger than that had to be personally recruited to join. Kakashi nodded to himself and frowned. "Unusual for a medic nin to be considered, isn't it?"

Usui huffed a laugh and leaned back on his hands.

"Yeah, she's truly exceptional, Kashi-kun." Usui gave him an impish grin and an unapologetic shrug when Kakashi glared at him for the nickname. "I had to do some careful maneuvering to get her to join Team Ro, to be honest. It was worth it, though. Anything to make sure my shadows are as safe as possible."

Usui treated each member of ANBU as if they were his own family. A very competitive and deadly family, sure, but everyone was important to him all the same. Getting a medic to join the ranks was a good idea, Kakashi was sure he'd be giving the kid extra work soon enough.

"I'm glad Team Ro has a capable medic," Kakashi said softly, his hands running through his damp hair. "Why didn't you send her instead of Keiichi?"

"Uhei came with your extraction request the night before her Jounin Exams, I couldn't pull her away." Usui got up and stretched a bit, an amusedly fond look on his face as he continued. "That's also the reason Genma stayed behind. He asked for the week off to be there for her." Usui snickered. "The two of them are really close, it's adorable."

So this girl was not only a medic when she had been recruited, she was a _chunin _medic. That was insane, Kakashi thought, he could only wonder how capable this kunoichi was for Usui to have scouted her.

Usui clapped him hard on the shoulder and pushed him towards the exit, saying he didn't want to make those two wait too much. Kakashi followed his lead to leave headquarters and once the cool night air ruffled his hair, he stopped and looked at the clear sky.

He briefly considered just going home, he was so tired. He watched Usui slowly walk towards the treeline in the direction of his house as Kakashi considered his options. In the end, the thought of his cold, empty apartment propelled his legs towards the Rusty Kunai.

He took his time walking through the empty streets once he left the training grounds, appreciating how peaceful the village was at night. As he made his way inside the busy bar, though, he was greeted with the complete opposite.

Every single booth was occupied to their maximum capacity and beyond and the few tables in the bar had been taken away to accommodate even more shinobi on their feet with drinks and cigarettes in their hands.

Kakashi looked towards the clock behind the bar as he pushed his way towards the booth furthest on the back where he knew his friends would be. It was already three in the morning, why did the whole village feel the need to convene on the bar?

He finally managed to sit down across from Tenzo and Yugao, noticing in the back of his mind that he had never seen the two of them sit so closely together like that.

"Why is it so fucking crowded in here?" Kakashi grunted mostly to himself, he'd been hoping for something more peaceful after over two months away. He spared a smile for Tenzo when the man poured a cup of sake for him.

"Oh, yeah." Yugao blinked widened eyes at him. "You don't really know do you?"

"Know what?" Kakashi frowned at them.

"Sakura made jounin! We didn't know the good news ourselves before we came here but this is her party." It was Tenzo that answered, a proud grin on his face. "The only ones who passed the exam were her, that Hyuga kid and a guy from TI. You know, the one Anko took under her wing?"

He hadn't known Anko had taken anyone under her wing. Nor that _Sakura _had been recommended for the exams or even that she had been capable enough to _make it._

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he immediately felt his stomach drop. That was unfair of him to think. Sakura had always been extremely driven and hardworking even if her motivation had been skewed at first. This shouldn't come as a surprise to him.

It takes him a few seconds to realise Yugao had been giving him this little smile that looked equal parts confused and amused. Kakashi downed his sake.

"She's the newest addition to Team Ro," she said, voice gentle and proud. "Our own little Wolfie-chan."

Sakura was in Team Ro. The newbie Usui had told him about, a medic nin with great skills. _Wolfie-chan._

Kakashi leaned back on his seat and took his cup to his lips absentmindedly when Yugao filled it back up. He felt blindsighted but undeniably _proud_ of her. Even though he hadn't been able to do much for her when she was younger and they had never been particularly close, Sakura was still Team 7 in the end.

More than that, between the two of them was a bond that he didn't have with Naruto and Sasuke. The boys had left Konoha and even though it was for different reasons, neither had the same amount of loyalty and dedication to the village that Kakashi and Sakura had.

The two of them would forever be the ones left behind and shared the fate of holding the same guilt in their hearts for letting Sasuke defect and the hurt from Naruto leaving the village.

Even though their last encounter hadn't been pleasant for either of them, Kakashi still felt proud as fuck and maybe just a bit scared for her. He'd never paid attention to all the raw potential she had but he was glad someone else had and also a little terrified because he had taken that same too fast escalation in his career and it had left him very vulnerable.

It left him with a mark on his back outside the village… and inside as well.

Kakashi nursed his sake silently and tried to reassure himself that Sakura was going to be fine because she had a lot of people surrounding her and caring for her. She wasn't alone.

Even as he thought that, his eyes scanned the bar to find her. It seemed all her hard work had been at the cost of her social life.

Sakura was standing between Tenten and Ino and she seemed happy and carefree for appearance's sake but as soon as she was forced into a larger group of the rookies, things changed.

She _looked_ participative, sure, but Kakashi himself was a master at faking things like that. Everybody else probably didn't realise it but he could see she was actually always on the sidelines, not really committing to any of the conversations going on around her while keeping a smile on her pretty face.

He worried for her because while he had distanced himself from his friends—pushed them away, really—like she had, he had always had his pack with him. Faithful companions that knew where he was at all times and that at the tiniest sign of danger, both outside and _inside _the village, would alert someone.

His ANBU team had also been a kind of family for him and he was glad that she at least had been placed with the people he trusted most in the village. They would have her back.

"I should go congratulate her," Kakashi said into his cup, not really intending to.

"You really should," a familiar voice said to his side.

Kakashi turned and was surprised to see Genma sliding in next to him in the booth. The man that had been one of his best friends ever since he joined ANBU put a heavy arm around his shoulders and grinned at him, the familiar senbon bobbing between his teeth.

"You old bastard, I haven't seen you in ages." Genma shook him a bit by the shoulders and immediately slid the glass of whisky he'd been drinking towards him. "Here you go, catch up."

"You're older than me…" Kakashi sighed but accepted the alcohol all the same. One of his number one rules was to never turn down food or drinks when they were for free. He was pretty sure that was in the Shinobi Handbook somewhere.

The four of them easily fell into their usual banter and Kakashi immediately felt like he was a teenager. Sitting with his old team, drinking and talking shit. If he ignored the complaints from his body he could easily pretend he was eighteen again.

He missed them.

Genma's behaviour that night, however, was odd. Not odd as in bad but more like Kakashi couldn't really figure out what he was thinking. He seemed his usual carefree self in one moment and then suddenly he would make a quip at Kakashi that held just the tiniest bit of excessive aggression to be considered joking.

It was almost like he was mad at Kakashi but he never broached any particularly troubling subject and in the next second he was back to being goofy and flirty.

A flash of pink caught his attention suddenly.

Sakura had managed to slip away from the worst of the crowd and was leaning against the counter talking to the bartender. Kakashi pushed Genma until he slid off the booth so he could get up and start making his way towards her.

Kakashi dodged a few elbows and a drunk kunoichi he didn't recognise all the while keeping Sakura in his sights. She was wearing the full jounin uniform like he was, her hair much longer than the last time he'd seen her but still in the same braid as before.

Without a second thought, Kakashi leaned against the counter next to her and interrupted whatever the bartender was saying to order another whisky.

They both looked at him in surprise and it only took Kakashi a few seconds to see the blush on both their cheeks and realise he interrupted something. The man behind the bar was maybe a few years younger than him and moderately handsome, and Sakura was the star of the night. It shouldn't come as much of a surprise for him as it did.

Kakashi cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head.

"Sorry," he murmured just for her ears.

For a second, they just looked at each other and Kakashi wondered if she knew all that he was apologising for. By the look on her face, she probably did.

He had been a dick to her the last time they had seen each other. She had caught him off guard, breaking down in the safety of his apartment and he had all but ordered her to leave. He didn't know how to properly address that, how to explain to her what had been going on inside his head that night.

Sakura was looking at him with a firm expression on her face. Her green eyes were calmly regarding him like they could see inside his very soul, like she knew just what he was thinking. Kakashi unconsciously held his breath.

She looked at him for a beat longer, a frown appearing on her otherwise smooth face. He was vaguely intrigued by the small scar bisecting her eyebrow, he wondered distantly how she had gotten it. Had it been an enemy's sword or maybe an accident during a spar? Why didn't she heal it herself—

"It's okay."

His thoughts were interrupted by her voice. It was light and didn't hold any particularly heavy notes to it but he knew, he just _knew _that she was saying that in answer to his own thoughts. It was like the two of them had silently agreed to move past it.

Kakashi exhaled.

The bartender placed their drinks in front of them and Kakashi was surprised to see she had ordered whisky to herself as well. They both broke their staring contest and took equally long sips of their drinks.

"I'm glad everything went okay on your mission," Sakura said quietly.

Kakashi took another sip of his drink when he realised that her shoulders were relaxing a bit. It jarred him, honestly, the notion that not only she had been aware of his mission but also worried about him.

It was enough that his reply came out completely honest, and not coated in the fake sugary smile he'd learned to give everybody else.

"It was a fucking _disaster._"

And then he found himself telling her about the mission.

He told her he had been tasked with infiltrating a minor lord's court in the border with Kiri. The merchant kept trade with both Konoha and Kiri and Kakashi had been sent to evaluate the situation and see what needed to be done so that the lord didn't stop trading with Konoha and dropped the other village if possible.

Kakashi had discovered that Shunichiro, the lord's firstborn, had been preparing to campaign for his father to drop Konoha because he'd been in love with a Kiri girl. Kakashi killed the man easily, without giving himself away, but the problem had come when the girl Shunichiro had been in love with came to the compound with an entourage of shinobi to investigate her lover's death.

The lord's youngest daughter had apparently fallen in love with him and just _wouldn't leave his side for a second_ so Kakashi didn't have any ways of escaping without anyone noticing and he wasn't sure he could fight all the shinobi and still run without giving Konoha away.

He managed to summon Uhei, his fastest hound, while he was in the bathroom and got the distress call out.

Kakashi was almost having an out of body experience as he told Sakura everything, his mouth moving without his consent. He barely managed to keep the details out of his story and it was with horror that he realised he had almost told her _everything _as if she was Genma or Tenzo.

Because the truth was that the lord's daughter, Himiko, had fancied herself in love with him because for the past two months he had thoroughly _indulged_ himself in her. Not only that, but through her, he had gathered a lot of information on her father that Konoha could use to blackmail him later on.

He thanked _fuck _he managed to keep his tongue inside his mouth at least concerning these particular details of the story because _what the fuck, _he didn't even know _why _he was telling Sakura all of this.

Kakashi downed the rest of his whisky and briefly wondered if he was drunk. Sakura was looking at him with a small smirk so he cleared his throat.

"Congratulations, by the way."

He fought a wince. After all that talking he had finally managed to tell her that.

"Thank you." Sakura's smirk grew into a smile and she clinked her glass with his empty one before finishing hers.

"It's only natural that you'd be the first to make jounin," Kakashi said. He saw her surprise and beneath that, he could practically see her pushing away the unwanted sadness that came with any mention of their team. He could see it because he was doing the same thing. "You had always been the most dedicated, the most hardworking… I'm sorry I couldn't see that as clearly before."

The words tumbled out of his mouth easily because they were the most simple truth. He was sorry. Sakura was speechless besides him for long enough that he turned to look at her.

There seemed to be something she was struggling to say but the words didn't come out of her mouth so he decided to save her from coming up with a reply. Kakashi cleared his throat.

"Yeah, uh, congratulations again, Sakura." He gave her a cheery smile that wasn't as fake as it usually was, his tone of voice sheepish. "I'm sorry I don't have a present for you now but I definitely will soon."

Sakura nodded slightly, her tongue coming to wet her lower lip. Her eyes searched his face for something that he wasn't quite sure what it was and then a slow smile spread across her lips. Her hand left her side and landed softly on the exposed skin of his forearm.

"It's okay, Kakashi." They both knew she was saying that for more than just his excuses for not having a gift for her promotion.

Kakashi looked at her small, deceptively delicate hand. He remembered when her hands had been uncalloused and ill prepared for fighting. A few years had passed and now the hand resting against his arm was anything but that. He could feel the strength behind her grip, the bumps of her calluses and even though the skin was fair and didn't have any scars, he knew that these were the hands of a seasoned kunoichi.

He slowly brought his gaze back to her face and smiled slightly back at her. Things felt _okaier _than they'd had for some time.

Sakura retracted her hand to accept the new glass of whisky from the bartender. She smiled coyly at Kakashi from behind her glass.

"You know, you could always show me your face as a gift." She jokingly raised her eyebrows at him, making him chuckle.

"I think a gift for making jounin has to be more valuable than that, don't you?" Kakashi took a sip from his own freshly poured whisky and moved closer to her when an intoxicated shinobi poked his elbow in the middle of his back accidentally.

"I dunno." Sakura stared unfocused into the distance, a finger pressed to her chin in thought. "With the bet I had going on with the boys I might get enough cash to buy a nice gift for Shishou's birthday."

"What?" Kakashi asked, surprised. "You guys betted on it?"

Sakura gave him a deadpanned look.

"Of _course_ we did." She raised an eyebrow at him. "At first it was to see who could guess what you were hiding beneath that mask and then to see who could find out _first_ and then we had all these stipulations for increasing the amount of money every few weeks that went by that we didn't manage to catch you without it…" She looked amused as she shook her head slightly. "It got out of hand pretty fast."

Kakashi chuckled incredulously.

For half a second he considered telling her that she'd already seen it but ultimately decided to refrain from doing so. He wanted to keep his Sukea identity safe and Sakura had surprised him so much already he didn't even think of the possibility that she _wouldn't _figure it out if he gave her the slightest of hints.

"Well, I'll swing by your house when I find an appropriate gift, if that's okay with you." Kakashi pushed himself away from the counter, ready to let her go back to her friends. "Second street after the civilian market, right?"

"Oh, uhm," Sakura trailed off awkwardly. She scratched her scar and Kakashi wondered if that was one of her unconscious habits. "I kinda… don't live there anymore."

Kakashi frowned at her. He knew the Haruno clan was a fairly important civilian clan and it was uncommon for the civilian children to leave their parent's home before marrying. Then again, the girl standing before him was hardly a child anymore.

It felt odd to think that he didn't really know her. He had almost made a point of keeping himself away from anything concerning his sole female student's private life. At first it was because he didn't really think the four of them would develop any form of bond like he had with his team and then it was because he didn't know how to deal with a little girl that had been as sheltered as Sakura.

With Naruto it was easy. The boy was living alone and had no parents, he could barely take care of himself. So Kakashi made sure to stock his fridge and swing by with plenty of vegetables and to gently guide him to the local laundromat.

Sasuke had been a bit trickier because he had been as meticulous and organised as Kakashi had been at that age, always liking things to be as orderly as possible. He didn't need help with his cooking or cleaning but Kakashi still made a point to plant some tomato filled onigiri on his kitchen table from time to time, unseen.

Sakura didn't need any of that. She had always been well taken care of by her parents and self sufficient in all other matters. At the time she hadn't been as interested in apprimorating her skills as she clearly was now, but even the pathetic attempts at teaching Kakashi had tried didn't need much from his part. She had learned tree walking faster than he'd seen anyone else do and most of the questions she had she took to the library.

His chest hurt when he thought that something had happened for her to break away from her parents like that and he wasn't there for her. The image that came to mind was of her during her first chunin mission, a girl looking older than her almost fourteen years in just her wrappings and blood covering almost every inch of her.

Kakashi knew there wasn't a space left for him in her life. They were both bound by their duties and loyalties to Team 7 but she didn't need him to be her jounin sensei anymore. She probably didn't need him to even be a distant mentor, he was sure Usui and his old team already filled that role.

He wished he could offer her something but he didn't have anything more to give.

"I live at the Senju estate now," Sakura said when he stayed quiet for a few seconds too long. "Huh, I guess you can even find me at the jounin headquarters now!"

The way she said it, like she couldn't quite believe it herself made a tendril of anger settle on his stomach. He had contributed to her self doubts, he was sure, and he didn't know _how _to make up for it.

"Sakura!" A girl's voice called from the other side of the bar. Kakashi wasn't sure if it had been Tenten or Ino but both girls were waving enthusiastically, their clumsy movements betraying just how drunk they were.

"I'll leave you to your friends," Kakashi said with a small nod. He was already stepping away from the bar when she called him back. She looked like she was carefully considering her next words, her face an expressionless mask.

He didn't know what she would have said but she got interrupted before he could encourage her to speak. Ino pulled roughly on her arm, exclaiming that she wouldn't be able to get out of their next drinking game. Sakura shot him a calculating look before letting herself be pulled away.

It was only when Gai came crashing into him and put his arms around his shoulders that Kakashi realised she had left him with the bill for their drinks.

"Put this in Shiranui Genma's tab, would you?" He managed to say to the bartender before Gai was pulling him into another challenge.

Kakashi let himself become absorbed by his friend's antics, his body soft and pliant from exhaustion and all the whisky. He was placed on a table with many of his friends and forced to participate in an arm wrestle with Gai.

Time passed with everyone on the table talking about Sakura and Neji, how they had performed on the exams and what had happened. Kakashi got a play by play on Sakura's taijutsu skills by Gai, the man proudly exclaiming that Lee had helped her with her training and that she was currently wearing the last set of his weights.

"The girl's fucking scary with her genjutsu, man. Kurenai would've been impressed if she'd been around to see her in action," Asuma told him at one point, smoke escaping from his lips. "A real assassin type if I've ever seen one."

Kakashi sat and drank and listened to his friends telling him about what had been going on in the village. At one point, he looked towards the booth on the back where Sakura was seated on Genma's lap, hugging Yugao towards her. They were all drinking and singing loudly and Kakashi suddenly felt like an outsider.

With that depressing thought, he made his excuses to leave.

His friends didn't try to keep him there and he was glad. He was just too drunk and too tired to be in a crowd. Even though it was way past four in the morning, the shinobi inside the Rusty Kunai showed no signs of stopping.

So Kakashi left almost unnoticed and let his feet carry him towards his apartment. The cool early morning air was sobering somewhat but as soon as he went past his traps, he regretted having drank so much.

He couldn't stand the stale musty smell of the place after it'd been locked up for so long. He'd left two months ago without any prior notice and he couldn't find anyone to take care of the place.

With a weary sigh, Kakashi grabbed the only bottle of sake he kept around, took off his flak jacket and left. He left his feet guide him again and found himself standing in front of the cenotaph.

Being there had always served as a type of punishment and salvation all wrapped up into one mind numbing activity. Looking at the shiny stone with his loved one's names carved into it had always made him feel better and worse at the same time.

That night, he didn't stay long. He didn't know what to say to Obito. He imagined that he was looking down on him with exasperation on his face. He imagined Rin with that gently admonishing face only she could pull out.

Kakashi snorted at the empty air around him and left without a backwards glance.

This time he knew where he was going, but he felt immensely more unsettled by the track he had to take. He trudged past the training grounds towards the outskirts of the village where some of the clans housed.

The entrance to the Nara compound was to his right and he kept going further until a small broken gate led him towards a path through the dark woods. He felt scared in a way he hadn't felt in a long, long time but still, determination burned inside his gut. He had to do this.

Kakashi followed the path through the trees until he reached a clearing. He went past an overgrown garden—vegetable patch, local flowers, spices, medicinal plants—towards an old, decrepit house. Technically all of this was his.

A portion of the land around Konoha that melted into the Nara forest. Both their clans had an agreement some generations before him that the forest would be in possession of the Nara but the Hatake wolves would be free to roam and hunt in the woods.

The Hatake clan was most commonly associated with wolves. His grandfather had come from Kumo during the first war from a clan as big as the Inuzuka that had the same relationship with wolves as they had with dogs. A large migration had happened at that time all around the world, many clans were found missing a few members as people deserted in search of better conditions.

When his father was born, the Hatakes inside Konoha had been reduced to just Sakumo and a cousin that had died before Kakashi had even been born. The clan got a noble status for their help during the war and had been officially instituted as a Konoha Noble Clan after it was over.

Then his father had taken a tanto to his gut and ended his life.

Kakashi broke out of the memories being back there brought him and went about disarming the various traps and seals he'd put up around the place. He tried to immerse himself in happier memories of spending most of his childhood training in the backyard and how he used to spend his days off cleaning up the place, perfecting his favourite dishes from cooking books he bought at the bookstore, teaching himself how to fish and hunt and generally take care of himself.

He went inside and tried to remember why he was there at all. Feeling particularly sad and drunk, Kakashi downed half the bottle in one go before he took a deep breath and faced the room he had come for.

His father's study. The place he had found him in a pool of his own blood.

Kakashi had been there about four times after his father killed himself and never alone. He came back the first time, right after the funeral because he was still in shock and his young mind couldn't let go of the fact that his father had always liked the house clean and this room was _dirty _and he needed to scrub the floor from his father's blood.

Minato had found him on his hands and knees, scrubbing at the floor with tears running down his face.

His sensei had stayed there with him and helped him clean every corner of the house until it was cleaner than it had ever been before. Then Minato cleaned his puke when Kakashi heaved and passed out.

He had sealed the room shut and not even looked at its door when he passed by.

The next time he'd gone inside was to get his father's sabre when he made chunin, sensei at his side like he'd always tried to be back then. He sealed the room once again and came back years later, this time already in team 7.

He remembered that day to be one of his favourites from his farce of a childhood.

Rin and Obito had followed him because he'd never disclosed where he lived before and had happened upon one of his days off where he cleaned and cooked and took care of the garden. Some of it had gone wild during his father's absence because he didn't have the time to do it all by himself but he had managed to keep the vegetable patch mostly alive.

Rin had been the one to question why he didn't clean a room and Obito the one to grab his arm and pull him there when he disclosed the story in half complete sentences. They cleaned the room and the rest of the house together then Kakashi made them all their favourite dishes.

The next time he'd gone inside the room was to put the sabre back. He was missing an eye and carrying a gift from his best friend that felt too heavy to hold.

For all of two minutes he considered it.

He held the sabre in his hands and kneeled where his father had kneeled before and really, _really_ considered ending his life like his father had. Then Rin had burst inside the room, tears on her cheeks and scoldings on her lips and she held him as he shook in her arms and cried and _howled _at how unfair it all was.

She had held him through it all and had quieted his breakdown with a single kiss to his lips.

That had been the beginning of one of the worst mistakes of his life. He had tried to love her like Obito had, tried to honour his last wishes and make her happy but he just _couldn't_. In the end, Rin had deserved someone pure and bright like Obito and Kakashi was… _Kakashi._

He hadn't been able to love her like Obito would have and he had ultimately pushed her away before that fateful day with the Kiri ninja.

The room had been sealed since then. He had moved out of the house soon after the Kyuubi attack, Usui's gentle hands on his and Genma's shoulders when he pointed them both towards buying the plants for the new apartment complex.

Kakashi entered the room, this time alone, and waited for the panic to set in.

It didn't, surprisingly. Sure, he vaguely felt nauseated by the smell of the room—a thousand times worse than his apartment and even the rest of the house smelled—and he was sweating from the stress but it felt like it was something he could handle. Still, his eyes pointedly looked anywhere but at the spot that he had found his father.

He moved stiffly until he was behind the desk and kneeled on the floor, pushing away all the images it brought to his head. His eyes caught on a flash of white.

It was a picture of his father and mother, Kakashi himself barely a year old in her arms. She had a bright smile on her face and Sakumo was holding her from behind with his nose buried on the skin beneath her jaw.

He knew his father was feeling her scent, memorising it, marking it in his head as _his. _He wondered if his father had remembered her smell even after she died. Kakashi wished he could have remembered her scent, the way she laughed, if she ever sang him lullabies.

Hatake Midori had died a few months after that picture was taken during a mission. She was a chunin, good and efficient in her job but not with enough connections to make it to jounin and Kakashi had come along before she could make it to tokujo.

Kakashi didn't remember her but he had heroworshiped her when he was a child. He grew up with his father telling him stories of her, how she was a stellar shinobi who was extremely intelligent and took the rules seriously. So seriously that during missions, she would even wear a mask.

Kakashi had taken up the mask before he even entered the Academy and refused to take it off. At first it had been because of his mother, then because he just never took his uniform off, not even inside Konoha—it had been one of the recommendations during the war and many shinobi from his time couldn't quite shake off the habit of it—then because it just felt weird to go outside the house without it.

It had also been useful during those first years without his father where everywhere he went, someone seemed to recognise him as the White Fang's son.

One other thing he had taken from his mother was her summoning scroll. While she hadn't come from a prominent clan, she had been faintly related to a branch of the Inuzuka and wildly liked by everyone around her. That distant relative had given her the ability to summon a pack of dogs and Kakashi had taken over it as soon as he had enough chakra to do so.

He'd just become a chunin and his far from developed chakra reserves were just enough so he could summon a small pug and promptly pass out. He woke up the next morning expecting to be alone only to see the tiny dog munching on the dinner he had left on the table. That first day all the pug had done was whine and eat so Kakashi didn't have any problems with naming him Pakkun.

Kakashi sighed, coughed at the mothball that met his mask when he did and placed the sake bottle next to the picture. He needed to get out of there.

With quick fingers, he activated the seal on one of the tatami blocks behind the desk. It glowed blue before emitting a faint hiss and opening at the middle. Inside was a chest and the reason he had gone there.

Kakashi picked it up and didn't bother taking what he wanted from inside. He closed the hidden compartment again and stood up with the chest braced against one hip. He swayed where he stood.

Maybe he was drunker than he'd thought he was.

With a shaky hand, he reached for the bottle but at the last second stopped. His fingers closed around the portrait frame instead.

Kakashi sealed the room quickly and left the house. The cool spring evening air was a relief to his senses and he brought the hand holding the portrait up to lower his mask beneath his chin. It was suddenly too hard to breathe.

Kakashi had only enough time to put the things on the ground next to him before he leaned over the porch and threw up over the railing.

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_Don't say I never do nice things for you guys! I hope you enjoyed your Kakashi chapter and my personal headcanons hehe I have just a few notes to make on this chapter._

_First, my spellcheck really hated that Kakashi only had one eye to roll, it vehemently wanted to change it to 'rolled his eyes'. Also, it was particularly offended that I meant Genma's lap and not Grandma's lap._

_I based Kakashi's feelings on how a shinobi's death should be off the bushido notion that during the times of war and fighting, it was better for a samurai to give his life in battle than take his own life with the sword if they wanted to regain their honour._

_Also, I love how Kakashi makes people blush._

_This isn't official, I think, but pakupaku (__ぱくぱく__) is the onomatopoeia used to represent the action of eating quickly so I figured that's why Kakashi named Pakkun like that. I kinda like this idea and how the other names he chose for his ninken are equally as cute._

_If you guys have been following me on tumblr, you know that I haven't been feeling so good these past few weeks so I just really wanted to take the time to thank you guys for all the wonderful reviews you've left me so far. Writing this and seeing you like this as much as I do really makes me happy 3_

_On that note! The amazing Waytoo and Calliartss drew some fanart for this fic! I cannot express how fucking ecstatic that made me xD ffn doesn't let me post links in here tho :( so I have no idea how to properly credit them... But still! Those are their names on Tumblr, if you guys could check them out and give them some love..._

_For future reference, any type of art this story inspires you to do is HIGHLY appreciated. Be it a drawing or a drabble or a fic or even a long review. I love the idea of my art inspiring others to work on their art as well._

_Let me know what you think,_

_J_


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